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A big issue men have in dating and relationships is that they mistake emotional connection for sexual attraction. That’s why I urge every single guy out there to try and connect with people emotionally, regardless if they want to sleep with the other person or not.
If you do this – if you try and connect emotionally with people you meet, without having an ulterior motive to sleep with them just because they’re hot – you’ll have a much easier time attracting people when you actually want to.
This is a pretty complicated topic but bear with me because it has an enormous impact on how successful you are with women. And people in general.
Build An Emotional Connection With People Regardless If You Want To Sleep With Them Or Not
So I get a ton of emails from guys who are complaining about women who show them attenti0n but then reject their advances.
Seriously, too many guys think that when women show you attention and want to connect with you emotionally, that those women want to sleep with you as well.
And then those same guys get extremely butthurt when they misinterpret this niceness for sexual desire and get rejected when they ask the girl out.
This rejection obviously hurts men’s ego and has a negative impact on their self-esteem. But truth be told, these guys do it to themselves because they can’t distinguish between someone being genuinely friendly and interested in them as a person, and sexual desire/attracti0n.
You see, there’s much more to sexual desire and attraction than showing interest or being friendly with someone. And plenty of guys don’t understand this. Especially those who don’t have much experience with women.
Too many guys have it in their head that if a woman is being nice to them and makes an effort to get to know them or connect with them emotionally, she wants them sexually.
And too many pieces of entertainment, such as rom-coms, music, various series, movies, books and similar things play into this delusion, making men think this way. To the detriment of their mental health and understanding of social dynamics.
Some guys even incredulously proclaim stupid shit like “Why would she show me attention at all if she doesn’t even want to fuck me?!” Revealing that they’re pretty clueless about women and don’t have good social skills in general.
So how do you deal with this? What’s the main issue here?
Mostly lack of social experience and with being around women in general.
Become genuinely interested in connecting with other people emotionally
Here’s an idea: I want men to learn to emoti0nally connect with people who they don’t plan to have sex with.
Sounds weird at first, right? Like why would you do this? Why even bother?
But it’s that exact type of thinking, such as “Why even bother connecting with that girl emotionally if I don’t even want to fuck her?” that will ensure you’ll be a failure with women.
So here’s a hot headline right off the presses: Not everything in life is about sex!
And the sooner you realize this and accept it, the better your life will be.
I want men to stop assuming women are planning on having sex with them because women make an effort to engage with them emotionally.
Some women ARE JUST BEING FRIENDLY. And if you misconstrue this friendliness for sexual attraction and think that women “want you” just because they show genuine interest in you as a human being – YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE A BAD TIME.
That’s because too many guys, especially the most desperate and needy ones, virgins, “basement-dwellers” and those leading sexless lives, feel PERSONALLY BETRAYED by the fact that some women engage deeply and genuinely with them, but DON’T ACTUALLY DESIRE THEM SEXUALLY.
Some guys simply can’t comprehend why any woman would do this. But it instantly betrays one simple fact about these guys: They think women are just a life support system for a vagina, and aren’t actual people.
Simply put, guys who think this way objectify women.
And when you objectify women, you will never be successful with women in any endeavor, except exploitative ones. Which is pretty sad.
Emotional connection does not equal sexual attraction or lust
This is the reason why so many beautiful women don’t have a lot of guy friends. Simply because 90+% of those “guy friends” secretly want to sleep with her.
How do you think this makes women feel?
![illustration of a desperate and lonely man slobbering over a woman, objectifying her and treating her like a piece of meat, not caring about her as a person](https://www.saulisdating.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/desperate-and-needy-men-slobbering-all-over-women-treating-them-like-objects-saulisdating-1024x688.jpg)
It makes them feel like an object – like a piece of meat.
It makes women feel on edge, like they have to protect themselves from all men at all times. They simply can’t relax around men because they know the majority see them as pieces of meat.
This perpetuates various harmful stereotypes and things like sexual harassment and similar bad things.
This is why women are often on high alert when some random guy approaches them. Because in the vast majority of cases, if the woman in question is good looking, the guy wants to sleep with her and doesn’t really care about her as a person.
So here’s a powerful quote for you from a woman:
“I want men to stop feeling personally betrayed by the fact that I engage deeply and genuinely with people regardless of whether I desire them sexually. Because I value people and seek to understand and connect with them regardless of sexual attraction.”
So what does this mean? And how does this even help you on your journey to become successful with women and learn about dating and seduction?
The answer is simple: You should be doing the same thing!
Connect with people even if you don’t want to sleep with them, and especially if you do.
When you actually, genuinely strive to connect with people emotionally regardless if you want to sleep with them or not, it will transform your game for the better.
First, you’ll feel much more at ease around beautiful women.
Second, women will never see you as desperate or needy when they notice you take a genuine interest in connecting and not just sex. Women will NOTICE you want to connect with them emotionally without any ulterior motive. So they’ll relax around you as well.
Third, you’ll make a LOT of female friends doing this. Some of them will be attractive and some won’t, but who cares?
And what do female friends do to guys they really like but don’t want to sleep with? They introduce them to their other female friends and set them up! Which means you’ll get laid a LOT just from your new social circle.
As you can see, it’s in your MASSIVE interest to start treating women, ALL women, as people. And to genuinely take an interest in them as individuals, connect with them on an emotional level, without ulterior motives.
Besides, one of these days you’re going to get a girlfriend or wife. What are you going to do then? Will you suddenly switch from a total horn-dog who slobbers after women to a regular dude who suddenly takes an interest in them as people? That’s incredibly disingenuous and just shows you’re not really a good person, if you behave this way.
And if that doesn’t do it for you, think of all the benefits you’ll get when you actually start talking to women like you do with your buddies. It’s very attractive, sets you apart from other men and makes you look confident, secure of yourself and high value.
To connect with people emotionally is also good for your self-esteem.
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