There’s a rise in gray divorce, divorce after 50. Why? Tune into this episode with Dr. Dana McNeil to find out! — Why is there a rise in gray divorce? Dr. Dana McNeil, PsyD, LMFT, is a licensed couples therapist and Certified Gottman Therapist specializing in emotional safety, relationship repair, and long-term compatibility. She is […]

There’s a rise in gray divorce, divorce after 50. Why? Tune into this episode with Dr. Dana McNeil to find out!

—

Why is there a rise in gray divorce? Dr. Dana McNeil, PsyD, LMFT, is a licensed couples therapist and Certified Gottman Therapist specializing in emotional safety, relationship repair, and long-term compatibility. She is the founder of The Relationship Place and Therapy Getaway, where she provides intensive couples therapy for high-conflict relationships. Dr. McNeil serves on the Advisory Board of MYA and is a national media expert and frequent speaker on modern relationships.

In this episode:

• Why there’s a rise in gray divorce
• What erodes in long term marriages that leads to divorce later in life
• How an empty nest amplifies relational issues
• The emotional and identity challenges unique to later divorce
• How to repair a fractured marriage later in life

EP 705: Dr. Dana McNeil – Why Is There a Rise in Gray Divorce Among Couples Over 50?

Highlights of this episode on Gray Divorce

Gray divorce trends & causes

• Divorce overall down 35% since 2021, but ages 50–64 divorces up 43%.
• COVID intensified existing relationship stressors by removing external outlets.
• Common drivers: longer lifespans, financial independence of women, infidelity (20–40% over 50), parenting/“failure to launch,” retirement/financial disagreements, health/sexual changes.
• Midlife brings identity shifts and grief that impact relationships and willingness to leave.

Relationship breakdown & Gottman framework

• Gottman’s Four Horsemen that predict relationship failure: defensiveness, criticism, contempt, stonewalling.
• Repeated presence of those behaviors slowly erodes relationship safety.
• Repair attempts and bids for connection often get missed or ignored, deepening disconnection.
• Rebuilding requires renewing friendship, updating “love maps,” shared meaning, and intentional repair work.

Empty nest & adult children co-parenting issues

• Empty nest can trigger identity, purpose, retirement, and intimacy negotiations.
• Adult children moving back or being enabled creates new conflict points and can be used as buffers for a dysfunctional marriage.
• Lack of pre-planned conversations about adult-child expectations can fuel resentments and negative sentiment override.

Dating after divorce — practical guidance

• Don’t “date potential”: evaluate who a person is now, not who they might become.
• Prioritize friendship, character, and how someone handles crisis/emotions.
• Take time after a breakup (often recommended around a year) to grieve and rebuild before serious dating.

Connect With Dr. Dana

• Website: www.danamcneil.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDanaMcNeil
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdanamcneil/
• The Relationship Place www.sdrelationshipplace.com
• Instagram: @sdrelationshipplace @drdanamcneil

Watch this episode on YouTube

---

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life