Did you know that pleasure is crucial to our wellbeing? My podcast guest, sexologist Tugce Balik, dives deeper into this topic! — Tugce Balik believes that pleasure is essential to our wellness. She blends Western science with Eastern traditions to help people heal, reconnect, and feel at home in their bodies and with each other. […]

Did you know that pleasure is crucial to our wellbeing? My podcast guest, sexologist Tugce Balik, dives deeper into this topic!

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Tugce Balik believes that pleasure is essential to our wellness. She blends Western science with Eastern traditions to help people heal, reconnect, and feel at home in their bodies and with each other. She’s a certified Tibetan Tantra practitioner and an American Board-Certified Sexologist with a focus on healing through embodiment. Her approach is gentle, empowering, and rooted in deep care. To her, pleasure isn’t something you earn. It’s your birthright, your medicine, and her work at Arya helps couples remember exactly that.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• Why pleasure is moving from taboo to essential wellness
• Why 57% of couples can’t talk about sex—and practical ways to bridge that divide
• How intimacy impacts stress, hormones, and overall relationship satisfaction
• How technology can help couples approach once-uncomfortable conversations 
• Arya’s Erotic Personas and how they can help partners understand each other

EP 686: Tugce Balik – Why Pleasure is Essential to Wellness (and no longer taboo)

Why do you think pleasure is moving from taboo to essential wellness?

We’re in the second wave of the wellness movement. First we were taking care of our bodies and our personal care. Now, we understand our sexuality is a huge part of our whole self. We can’t just separate them. Many of us have had sexual trauma or taboo in our past. That’s why I’m so passionate about helping people see how important pleasure is.

Why do 57% of couples struggle to talk about sex—and what are practical ways to bridge that divide?

Do we know ourselves well enough to communicate our needs and desires. Begin with the connection you have with each other. Schedule time with your partner. Be present with each other and create safety in each other’s bodies. Sit across from each other, breathe together, gaze into each other’s eyes, and coregulate. Then, you can have a hard conversation. Frame it as an invitation with curiosity. We have an intimacy deck of cards that help the conversation. 

If you’re in the middle of sex and you don’t like something, pause, start with appreciation first and then guide them to what would make it even better. You can use your hand or their hand to show them what you like. You can also demo it on their body.

For anyone entering a relationship later in life, how can we deal with post-menopause issues or erectile dysfuntion?

Have a conversation before sex to explain what you need to have more pleasure. Talk about lube and whatever else you need. More pauses and breaks? And with men who have erectile dysfunction, there are many causes, and it happens at all ages. It’s important first to find out the root cause of the dysfunction. If it’s physical, you can work with a pelvic floor specialist or talk to your doctor about what you can do. If you’re going through stress, your hormones are affected.

Also, what does your self-pleasure routine look like? That impacts how you have sex. Cultivate a pleasure routine that’s not just centered on orgasm. 

How does technology help couples approach once-uncomfortable conversations? 

Everyone has different intimacy languages. Technology helps identify their play styles and erotic desires. The more information we have, the better it is. When you know your patterns, you can explore more. We give monthly guided experiences to couples based on their patterns and personas.

What are Arya’s Erotic Personas and how do they help partners understand each other? 

The categories are: The romantic prioritizes intimacy and connection, focuses on the journey. The directors enjoy more spontaneous sex, straightforward, goal oriented towards orgasm. The connectors prioritize sensuality and stimulation. The adventurers are into kink and variety.

The pairings are interesting, and it’s also good to see that we’re not always what we thought we were.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Recenter yourself rather than centering on the other person. Be less hyper-focused on what they think of you, and focus more on how you’re feeling in the presence of the other person. Ask, “What does this person bring out in me?”

Connect with Tugce:

• Tugce IG: https://www.instagram.com/iamtugcebalik/ 
• Arya IG: https://www.instagram.com/arya.fyi/
• Arya website: https://www.arya.fyi/join/ 

Watch this episode on YouTube

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