Last Updated on April 11, 2025 by

If you want to stop losing yourself in relationships, listen to this episode with couples therapists, Robin Temple & Michael Moore. — Stop losing yourself in relationships! Married for over thirty years, Robin Temple and Michael Moore can help you have healthier relationships. They have led workshops and retreats for more than 1,500 couples and […]

If you want to stop losing yourself in relationships, listen to this episode with couples therapists, Robin Temple & Michael Moore.

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Stop losing yourself in relationships! Married for over thirty years, Robin Temple and Michael Moore can help you have healthier relationships. They have led workshops and retreats for more than 1,500 couples and have trained dozens of leaders in couples work. They provide retreats and coaching that delivers positive change quickly and predictably, providing couples with surprisingly rapid improvements in understanding and happiness.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• What couples need to know to be happy together
• Why gratitude is so powerful for couples and a simple, effective way to practice it every day
• What it takes for real listening to occur
• How to encourage someone to speak up with confidence that their message will get through… without resistance or blow-back
• What is the “Art of the Apology,” and how can it repair hurts or long standing issues that might otherwise seem impossible to overcome?
• Some effective first steps for resolving an issue that feels “unresolvable”—like money differences or intimacy problems

EP 655: Robin Temple & Michael Moore – How to Stop Losing Yourself in Relationships

What inspired you to do the work you do, and what has helped you make it through the challenges of a thirty-year marriage? 

Robin: We both have been through divorce, and I was left with many questions about my divorce. I didn’t have a lot of self-awareness about why it happened. It left me wondering about how long-term relationships can endure. I had been a therapist, but I went back to grad school to learn about marriages. We teach what we need to learn. Michael and I had a strong connection, but I wasn’t sure how we could blend lives. We took our time.

Michael: We moved in for a summer as a trial. I thought it would be amazing, and it was difficult from the start. We weren’t hopeful. The hardest part was our differences around parenting. I thought it was most important to teach self-reliance. Robin was more about nourishing and encouraging creativity. We didn’t think we could figure out how to blend our lives. Eventually, Robin went on 24 days of training. The Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills program helped her learn what she could. I became intrigued by the program, and I joined her in the program. I was the only non-therapist there. For the first time, I felt Robin really heard and respected my point of view and that it was coming from a loving place. That was huge for us! We both became master teachers.

What do couples need to know to get along and be happy together without losing themselves?

Michael: You need other relationships in your life. Don’t only depend on your partner for every aspect of your life. Have other communities that your partner is not a part of. We have a quiz on our website which tests for key areas in your relationship. Respect is essential. Over time, learn what matters most.

Robin: We have a model called a ‘powergram’ to help them map out areas of responsibility and power. Where are you autonomous and where do you decide things together?

How do you encourage someone to speak up with confidence that their message will get through… without resistance or blow-back?

Robin: If the conversation is not going well, stop and take a break. Within an hour, suggest a time to get together within twenty four hours for a do-over.  Take turns talking and listening. Be empathic, even if you don’t agree. It’s not fair to just complain without making a request. 

Michael: Do simple mundane things that evoke positivity. Have a regular daily practice of gratitude. The more specific the better. So, when there’s a problem, there’s credit in your emotional bank. It’s also important to take turns. Both can’t be understood at the same time. The person listening only listens and offers validation at the end. Learn to ask for what matters. Own your part of the story.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Robin: While relationships seem mysterious and difficult territory, because our least mature and developed selves show up, know there are simple and powerful tools. With the right support, you can navigate change.

Michael: About seven years into our relationship, I developed an emotional infatuation with someone else, and I asked Robin to end the relationship and go on a provisional marriage for a while. It took a long time for us to not have long term grievances. We’ve been going on our first date for a long time. We don’t take each other for granted. Keep it fresh.

Connect with Michael and Robin

• IG https://www.instagram.com/couples.solutions_/ 
• FB https://www.facebook.com/couples.solutions 
• Website https://couples.solutions/ 

Watch this episode on Youtube

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