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How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs and Perfectionism

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If you want to overcome your limiting beliefs and perfectionism, this episode of Last First Date Radio is for you! — Do you have limiting beliefs? Are you a perfectionist? My podcast guest, Kamini Wood, is here today to speak about these topics. She is a certified life coach, speaker, and bestselling author who helps […]

overcome limiting beliefs

If you want to overcome your limiting beliefs and perfectionism, this episode of Last First Date Radio is for you!

—

Do you have limiting beliefs? Are you a perfectionist? My podcast guest, Kamini Wood, is here today to speak about these topics. She is a certified life coach, speaker, and bestselling author who helps high achievers overcome anxiety, perfectionism, and limiting beliefs to rediscover their authentic selves. As the founder of the AuthenticMe® method and CEO of Live Joy Your Way, she empowers individuals to build self-awareness, set boundaries, and create fulfilling, balanced lives.

In this episode:

  • Where do our limiting beliefs stem from?
  • How can people overcome limiting beliefs, especially when it holds them back from dating?
  • How does perfectionism sabotage our love lives, and how can people begin to overcome their need to be perfect?
  • How can our careers contribute to our self-sabotaging habits, and how does this show up in our romantic relationships?
  • How can people balance their love life and work?

EP 653: Kamini Wood – How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs and Perfectionism

Where do our limiting beliefs stem from?

I see them as narratives that come from our families of origin or experiences we’ve had throughout our lives. Some common ones are “I’m not enough” “I’m not lovable”.

How can people overcome limiting beliefs, especially when it holds them back from dating?

Naming your limiting beliefs is the first step. Get curious with yourself. Recognize the stories you’re telling yourself. If you have fear, complete the thought loop. What’s your fear? What’s true? What’s the evidence I have today to support this belief?

Once you identify the truth, ask yourself what you want to do about it. What action will you take?

How does perfectionism sabotage our love lives, and how can people begin to overcome their need to be perfect?

Perfectionism can hold us back because we might expect our partner to be perfect. We create unspoken expectations. That leads to resentment. If we hold ourselves to a high standard, we can be held back. Perfectionists struggle when a relationship is not working, and they are afraid of failure, and afraid to leave a relationship for that reason. It can keep us from being honest with what you truly need.

How can our careers contribute to our self-sabotaging habits, and how does this show up in our romantic relationships?

If you’re a perfectionist, work is a place where you get a lot of meaning and enoughness. You might put more energy into work, which can leave you drained and unable to put energy into your love life. There’s certainty in your work life, but less certainty in your love life. How can you find balance? Ask yourself what about work makes you feel safe and good? If you have a fear of rejection and not being accepted in dating, ask yourself what’s the worst case scenario your mind is telling you? Then ask yourself what you will do.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Give yourself permission to be present for the process and allow it to be what it is. Give yourself grace. Pay attention to the stories you tell yourself. Be you and be present. Just focus on making a connection.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect With Kamini

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Stop Sabotaging Your Romantic Relationships

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Do you tend to sabotage romantic relationships without knowing why? Tune into this episode to learn how to find next level love! — Many of us sabotage romantic relationships. If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you! My podcast guest, Junie Moon, is the CEO of Midlife Love Out Loud. She’s a Love Mentor, […]

romantic relationships

Do you tend to sabotage romantic relationships without knowing why? Tune into this episode to learn how to find next level love!

—

Many of us sabotage romantic relationships. If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you! My podcast guest, Junie Moon, is the CEO of Midlife Love Out Loud. She’s a Love Mentor, best-selling author, women’s empowerment leader, and certified Shadow Work® Coach. Junie’s mission is to help women experience Next Level Love by first nurturing the love within themselves. She’s the author of “Loving The Whole Package: Shed The Shame and Live Life Out Loud”, and an award winning speaker and host of the successful Midlife Love Out Loud podcast. 

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • Common signs that someone is unconsciously self-sabotaging in their relationships
  • What ‘the shadow side’ of love is, and how it affects our ability to form healthy relationships
  • How the inner critic contribute to self-sabotage, and strategies to quiet it
  • The first step someone can take when they recognize they are sabotaging their relationships
  • How shadow work transforms your love life and helps you build healthier, more fulfilling relationships

EP 636: Junie Moon – Why We Sabotage Romantic Relationships (and How To Stop)

What are some common signs that someone is unconsciously self-sabotaging in their relationships?

We date the same person over and over with a different face. What was safe and acceptable as a child is not healthy in relationships. People pleasers are afraid to speak up. Women in general put men’s sexuality first so they don’t take up too much time and space. They’re afraid if they’re vulnerable, they might get left. If you’ve been in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship, that kind of energy from childhood equals love. Conflict avoidance is another strategy that doesn’t work in relationships. As long as we’re putting up masks, we’re coming to relationships not fully being who you are.

Can you explain what ‘the shadow side’ of love is, and how it affects our ability to form healthy relationships?

The shadow is the part of us we want to hide. We learn how to fit in, not disappoint people, and how to survive at a young age. We get messages about how to be ‘good’. We’re taught to hide certain parts that are seen as ‘not good’. We threw those parts in shadow. As adults, that’s not effective. Shadow work shines a light on the places we lost access to. That’s how we show up more authentically and attract in the right people. 

How does the inner critic contribute to sabotaging romantic relationships, and what are some strategies to quiet it?

The inner critic is a part that is the risk manager. It assesses if we’re safe or not. We need that part, and the more we’ve been hurt, the more it shows up. It tells you there’s something wrong with you. Why bother? It’s not going to happen for you. Who will want me? 

However, if you want partnership and connection, you need to reel in the inner critic and quiet it. Notice what’s going on in your body when you’re on the first date. The inner critic wants you to stay safe, so let the risk manager know it’s overshooting. Thank it for protecting you. Tell it it’s making you feel inadequate. Be in the driver’s seat, so when the pattern comes up, let it know it’s not working for you anymore.

What is the first step someone can take when they recognize they are sabotaging their relationships?

Celebrate that you’re aware you have a pattern. If you don’t see it, you can’t fix it. Have compassion for yourself. Go back as far as you can remember and see where the pattern began. Look at your childhood and notice the pattern you’re trying to heal. What might you want differently?

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Know thyself! If you want great love and are willing to heal and be honest with yourself, you’re more likely to go on your last first date. Do the work to attract the relationship you really want.

Watch this episode on youtube

Connect With Junie

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

 The Path to Healing Your Inner Child

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How do you heal your inner child? And why is it so important when it comes to dating? Tune in to the podcast to learn the answers! — What is the path to healing your inner child? Jen Araya Peters is an expert in this field. She is a visionary healer, #1 best selling author […]

inner child

How do you heal your inner child? And why is it so important when it comes to dating? Tune in to the podcast to learn the answers!

—

What is the path to healing your inner child? Jen Araya Peters is an expert in this field. She is a visionary healer, #1 best selling author and the founder of a global 128,000 strong healing community. Jen is best known for her revolutionary work in the field of inner child healing, in particular dissolving emotional trauma, childhood trauma and hidden blocks deep within the subconscious mind. Jen’s mission is to make healing available to all.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • Why healing your inner child is so important when it comes to dating
  • How to know if unresolved inner child trauma may be sabotaging your success in dating 
  • Examples of how our childhood experiences can impact our romantic relationships
  • How unhealed attachment trauma influences our relationships
  • 3 things we can do to begin healing our inner child as it relates to dating or relationships

EP 643: Jen Peters – The Path to Healing Your Inner Child

Why is healing your inner child so important when it comes to dating?

The inner children have a tremendous impact on dating. Most of our behaviour is from our subconscious mind. Whatever is not resolved from childhood will show up in all parts of our lives, especially dating. The parent we had the most unresolved trauma with will draw us to partners with similar qualities.

 

How can we know if unresolved inner child trauma may be sabotaging their success in dating?

Everything is energy and holds a certain frequency. Wounds do, too. If we had a parent who left, it causes an abandonment wound. It can happen in everyday ways. The inner child has the fear of being abandoned again. They will either cling to relationships that are unhealthy, or they avoid intimacy and sabotage the relationship. We try to protect ourselves. 

How does unhealed attachment trauma influence our relationships?

It influences our relationships in tremendous ways. Anxious attachment trauma started in the womb or at a very young age. Because our survival was dependent on our caretaker at such a young age, we’ll find an avoidant, dismissive, or disorganized partner. It activates our earliest trauma. Each time our partner pulls away for any reason, we become activated again. It causes us to feel needy or clingy. When the other person pulls away, we can feel like we’re going to die. We also can sabotage the relationship by being so needy. 

What are 3 things we can do to begin healing our inner child as it relates to dating or relationships?

We need to connect more deeply to our inner child. Visualizations are very effective. See your inner child, hear them, and reflect feelings back to your inner child. Learn where the original trauma was, and give her a voice. Go back to an event that activated your inner child’s wound. Feel it in your body. See that part in your body. You’ll get a sense of how they want to be addressed. 

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Remind yourself that you are whole, worthy and enough in your own right. Dating and relationships are a beautiful part of life. But remember you’re the chooser instead of waiting to be chosen.

Connect with Jen

Watch this episode on youtube here

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Why Polarity is the Secret to Attraction

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What is polarity, and why does Mat Boggs say it’s the secret to attraction? Here are some of the mistakes you might be making that are keeping you from love. — Mat Boggs says polarity is the secret to attraction. He is a best-selling author, relationship coach, and co-founder of the Brave Thinking Institute’s Love […]

polarity

What is polarity, and why does Mat Boggs say it’s the secret to attraction? Here are some of the mistakes you might be making that are keeping you from love.

—

Mat Boggs says polarity is the secret to attraction. He is a best-selling author, relationship coach, and co-founder of the Brave Thinking Institute’s Love & Relationship Division. For nearly two decades, he has helped women worldwide attract high-quality men and lasting love. He’s appeared on The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, Oprah & Friends, and The Hallmark Channel. His book, Cracking The Man Code, reveals how men think, love, and communicate.

In this episode:

  • The biggest polarity mistake smart, successful women make
  • What women get wrong about feminine energy
  • Why doing more in dating and relationships sabotages your love life
  • The first internal shift to make if you’re a planner and emotional leader in relationships
  • A man’s deepest desire

EP 701: Mat Boggs – Why Polarity is the Secret to Attraction 

What is polarity, and what’s the biggest polarity mistake you see smart, successful single women make in terms of masculine and feminine energy?

I was speaking on stages with other relationship experts who were talking about masculine and feminine energy and polarity. I realized I had been operating in my feminine energy in romance. My older sister became my first dating coach. It was attracting women who took the lead and pursued, and when my masculine took over, the relationship took a dive. When I met my now wife, Irene, I finally stepped more fully into my masculine, and she was in her feminine, and it’s the best relationship I ever had.

We all have both energies and they’re completely dynamic. Masculine is providing and pursuing. Feminine is receiving and pulling. In the courting stage, whatever energy we lead with, we attract the opposite energy. Feminine energy is not fake or passive. It’s strong.

What makes a woman irresistible to men?

She’s relaxed and having fun around a man. She trusts him.

You share the story of Tanya, the former military commander. What was she doing that sabotaged her love life?

Tanya was used to taking charge. It didn’t get her the result in her love life that she wanted. She opened up the part of her that was feminine. She learned to be proactive and create the space for a man to fill. What do you want? The masculine wants to fulfill that. Instead of planning a hike, tell him, “You know what I’d love? A hike. Would you plan it for us?” Her job was to celebrate him following through. 

A lot of powerful women feel feminine energy is fake, weak, and passive. Not true. It’s powerful. It’s okay to receive. If you have resistance to receiving, it’s usually because of a lack of self worth. You’re not attracted to anyone except people who are taken, married, or emotionally unavailable. Self love controls how open our hearts are. If you want big love, you have to open the door wider. 

The key is a self love practice to help us open the door to our heart. We need people to connect to our authentic self. Then we can receive. You are enough…without overplanning and overdoing for men.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

The quality of our lives is dependent on the quality of hard conversations we’re willing to have. The feeling you have for love is evidence it’s out there for you. Every action is moving you forward.

Connect With Mat

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Celebrating Those Who Are Happily Single

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There are many people who are happily single. We celebrate the single lifestyle in this episode! — Dr. Bella DePaulo is the leading expert on single life, and her TEDx talk on the topic now has more than 1.6 million views. She received her PhD from Harvard, spent two decades as a psychology professor at […]

happily single

There are many people who are happily single. We celebrate the single lifestyle in this episode!

—

Dr. Bella DePaulo is the leading expert on single life, and her TEDx talk on the topic now has more than 1.6 million views. She received her PhD from Harvard, spent two decades as a psychology professor at the University of Virginia, and is an academic affiliate at UC Santa Barbara. She is the author of SINGLE AT HEART.

In this episode:

  • The definition of “single at heart”
  • Why people who are single at heart love being single so much
  • Doesn’t everyone want to have a romantic partner? 
  • The positive benefits of embracing a single life 
  • Reactions to the Single at Heart book

EP 703: Dr. Bella DePaulo – Celebrating Those Who Are Happily Single 

What does “single at heart” mean?

We love our single lives. We are happy and flourishing because we’re single. I dated in the past, and I don’t have any horror stories. And when each relationship ended, I was so happy to get back to my single life.

Why do the single at heart love being single so much?

They love their solitude and freedom and connection with their friends. They have a life they love. They choose the life they want.

Doesn’t everyone want to have a romantic partner?

No, not everyone wants a romantic partner. Some people don’t want to be married, especially not unhappily married. You can have friends with benefits or find other ways to have intimacy.

What are the positives of embracing a single life? Are there statistical or personal benefits?

Your friendships are valued more. You appreciate your solitude. You do what you want without being judged. You won’t be lonely if you like your solitude. It’s a sign of emotional maturity.

What kinds of reactions have you gotten to your Single at Heart book?

In the first couple of weeks after the publish date, I got hundreds of messages and emails and even snail mail. People felt validated. They felt like they found a home.

What are your final words about being single at heart?

Live your single lives fully, joyfully, and unapologetically.

Connect with Bella

  • X: @belladepaulo
  • Bluesky: @belladepaulo.bsky.social 
  • IG: @bellasingleatheart
  • FB: @singleatheartbook  @belladepaulo
  • YouTube: @BellaDePaulo
  • Website: https://belladepaulo.com/

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Debunking the Worst Relationship Advice (and what to do instead)

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What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever heard? Let’s debunk that bad advice and replace it with what really works in love. — What’s the best and worst relationship advice? Find out on the podcast with Monica Tanner, a Relationship Coach and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast. She transforms marriages with […]

worst relationship advice

What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever heard? Let’s debunk that bad advice and replace it with what really works in love.

—

What’s the best and worst relationship advice? Find out on the podcast with Monica Tanner, a Relationship Coach and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast. She transforms marriages with simple communication, connection, conflict resolution and commitment strategies. Her mission is to lower the divorce rate and improve marital satisfaction. Through her engaging podcast, new Amazon Best-Selling book, Bad Marriage Advice, vibrant social media community, and couple’s coaching practice, Monica’s expert guidance has impacted thousands of couples, by helping them ditch resentment and roommate syndrome and get back to living their happily ever after love story.

In this episode:

  • The worst relationship advice
  • The top 3 secrets to happily ever after
  • The cure for “Roommate Syndrome”

EP 699: Monica Tanner – Debunking the Worst Relationship Advice (and what to do instead) 

What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve heard?

Don’t sweat the small stuff.Where do you think the big stuff comes from? Learn how to skillfully talk about things that are small before they get big.

Learn how to compromise.We expect more from relationships than we ever did before. Compromise is a lazy way to solve a problem where no one gets their needs met. Collaborate instead, which means get curious. What about this is important? What do I value most about this? Put it all out there and get creative with your solution. 

Don’t go to bed angry.This is vastly misunderstood. Late at night, couples often get into it, and then one person goes to sleep and the other can’t sleep because they’re falling apart. Get curious with yourself about why you’re angry. Abandonment issues? Catastrophizing. Talk about that. Come up with a solution together.

You host a podcast called the Secrets of Happily Ever After. What are the top secrets?

The secret to happily ever after is having compassionate understanding for your partner’s reality. Your partner is separate from you and sees reality differently. Can you be compassionately curious about each other’s reality? Friends first, partners second.

Why do couples fall into what you call “roommate syndrome”, and how can they stop?

Roommate syndrome is what happens when two people have been living together a long time and are living as roommates, because communication doesn’t go well after the honeymoon phase is over. We don’t have the skills on our own to communicate properly. Couples haven’t run out of things to talk about, they just don’t know how to communicate effectively. Get some skills to bring up difficult topics.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

We are built for connection. We all want to find our special someone who can witness our lives. There’s nothing more important than learning the skills of connection.

Connect With Monica

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

 The Surprising Reasons Why People Cheat

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Want to know why people cheat? My podcast guest, Paul Keable, the Chief Strategy Officer of Ashley Madison, shares insights on cheating that may surprise you. — Why do people cheat? As Chief Strategy Officer of Ashley Madison, Paul Keable oversees the strategic direction of the dating site, Ashley Madison, emphasizing discretion, authenticity, and innovation […]

why people cheat

Want to know why people cheat? My podcast guest, Paul Keable, the Chief Strategy Officer of Ashley Madison, shares insights on cheating that may surprise you.

—

Why do people cheat? As Chief Strategy Officer of Ashley Madison, Paul Keable oversees the strategic direction of the dating site, Ashley Madison, emphasizing discretion, authenticity, and innovation within the dating industry. Under his leadership, the platform has implemented initiatives such as user verification through government IDs to combat fraudulent activity and build trust among members. As the platform continues to evolve, Keable’s insights remain central to its ability to adapt and resonate with its growing global user base.

In this episode:

  • Why do people cheat?
  • What constitutes cheating in a relationship?
  • How can cheating affect mental health?
  • How can affairs save marriages?
  • Are all affairs equal?
  • What is a modern relationship and what are the rules of one?
  • Should your affair remain a secret?

EP 654: Paul Keable – The Surprising Reasons Why People Cheat

The tagline of Ashely Madison is “Life is short. Have an affair.” Why do people cheat?

There’s a study about why men vs women cheat. They found that 80% of women cheated due to a sexless or orgasm-less marriage. They didn’t want to leave the marriage but wanted to have sex. They felt that the affair led to a better marriage and better life.

The reasons why men cheat are about emotional validation. We live in a world where men are told to be stoic and often don’t get the compliments women get. They’re looking for that validation. 

Why not open the marriage or speak about it with their spouse? Many people do talk about the issues and they’re not resolved. Also, divorce is expensive and carries other challenges people may not want to face.

What constitutes cheating in a relationship?

When we promise fidelity for life at the altar, we don’t always identify what cheating is. We need to define what monogamy and cheating is for you. Have a monogamy contract renewed every five years. Your parameters change over time.

How can cheating affect mental health?

Any adverse event in a relationship can affect mental health. How do we view the person who’s been cheated on? How do we view the cheater? If you’re in a sexless marriage with a spouse who doesn’t want to have sex anymore and you love them, what are your choices?

How can affairs save marriages?

If the affair doesn’t get discovered, it can have a positive effect on marriage. Sometimes, when there’s infidelity, it blows open the issues and forces couples to work things through.

Are all affairs equal?

Not all affairs are equal. There are people with spouses who can’t meet the needs of their spouse due to illness or other factors. An affair can fulfill sexual needs while you remain as a caretaker for your spouse.

Should your affair remain a secret?

It depends on the objective. Sometimes it forces hard conversations. We’re in the business of undisclosed affairs. Tell your affair partner what your intention is. We launched our business in the early two thousands when online dating was taking off. The office is our competition. Office affairs are often not a good place for affairs. CEOs with consensual affairs have been fired. It’s more risky.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

As a person who recently left a long marriage, start with the internal questions about your objective and intent in dating. What type of relationship do you want to be in? Who would you want to have that relationship with? What are the hard stops for you? Be clear about those things, and you’ll have a much easier time finding your match.

Website https://www.ashleymadison.com/

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find your person, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How the Alpha Male Mindset Sabotages Relationships

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How is the alpha male mindset sabotaging dating and relationships? Listen to Dave Rossi, a recovering alpha male who remarried after changing how he approached dating. — Dave Rossi is the author of Alphas Die Early: For the Man on a Mission—And the Women Who Love Him and the #1 bestselling book The Imperative Habit: […]

alpha male

How is the alpha male mindset sabotaging dating and relationships? Listen to Dave Rossi, a recovering alpha male who remarried after changing how he approached dating.

—

Dave Rossi is the author of Alphas Die Early: For the Man on a Mission—And the Women Who Love Him and the #1 bestselling book The Imperative Habit: 7 Non-Spiritual Practices Towards Spiritual Behavior – For Happiness, Health, Love, and Success. Dave’s work challenges outdated models of masculinity and success, guiding men to move beyond performance and into authenticity, emotional strength, and purpose. His perspective helps individuals build deeper, more meaningful relationships by aligning how they live with who they truly are.

In this episode:

  • Why the alpha male mindset is sabotaging dating and relationships
  • How to date with more discernment
  • The importance of defining your values and boundaries when dating
  • Why difficult conversations are crucial to intimate relationships

EP 714: Dave Rossi – How the Alpha Male Mindset Sabotages Relationships

Highlights of this episode:

Dating approach & outcomes

  • David applied spiritual principles and clear goals to dating after a 17-year marriage.
  • Primary goal: find a sustainable, serious relationship (not casual dating).
  • Prioritized “friendship first” to test long-term compatibility before romance.
  • Practiced discernment: avoid relationships that felt unsustainable (age, location, lifestyle).
  • Result: remarried at 55 after years of intentional dating and curated selection.

Sovereignty, masculinity, and vulnerability

  • Sovereignty = wholeness; make choices from abundance, not scarcity.
  • “Feathers vs. bird” metaphor: present authentic self (bird), not performative traits (feathers).
  • True vulnerability is strong—possible only from a secure, independent place.
  • Men (and women) should resist cultural scripts/masks and act from internal values.

Friendship, curiosity, and communication

  • Friendship defined by curiosity, safety, and consistent effort—not just chemistry or attraction.
  • Ask deeper questions; listen for genuine engagement versus performative responses.
  • Have difficult conversations: plan timing/context, be clear, kind, direct, and accountable.
  • Address boundaries early; mutual effort reduces resentment and builds sustainability.

Parenting & boundary strategies

  • Prioritize presence, time, and consistent values with children over material provision.
  • Reduce toxic interactions by minimizing unnecessary triggers (practical adjustments after divorce).
  • Teach children to set boundaries and speak up; model accountability and respectful communication.

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Connect With Dave:

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Send me your dating dilemmas to be featured in an upcoming episode: https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Why We Repeat Toxic Patterns in Relationships

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Why do we tend to repeat toxic patterns in relationships and dating? Joan Childs has some insights you’ll want to hear! — Why do we tend to repeat toxic patterns in our relationships? My podcast guest, Joan Childs, is sharing her wisdom in this episode. She’s a renowned psychotherapist, author, and relationship expert with over […]

toxic patterns

Why do we tend to repeat toxic patterns in relationships and dating? Joan Childs has some insights you’ll want to hear!

—

Why do we tend to repeat toxic patterns in our relationships? My podcast guest, Joan Childs, is sharing her wisdom in this episode. She’s a renowned psychotherapist, author, and relationship expert with over 47 years of clinical experience. As a pioneer in Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy, Joan has dedicated her career to healing fractured relationships and guiding people toward self-actualization. Her therapeutic journey has included individual, couples, group, and family therapy, earning her certifications in transformative modalities such as EMDR, Hypnosis, and Inner Child Work.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • Why we repeat toxic patterns in relationships
  • Common mistakes couples make and how to avoid them
  • What to do when there’s a loss of intimacy in a relationship
  • The biggest myths about love and relationships

EP 649: Joan Childs – Why We Repeat Toxic Patterns in Relationships

What inspired you to write Do You Hate the One You Love?

 Over the years, I heard the same expressions from women that they hated how their partner behaved. I would ask why they were with someone they hated. They’d say they love him, but they hate the way he behaved. It’s common to have opposing feelings at the same time.

Why do we repeat toxic patterns in relationships?

Nobody should be subjected to abuse. A lot of women don’t feel they have options to leave. Ask yourself if this is something you want to do the rest of your life, especially if the other person isn’t willing to change. I try to help the person receiving the abuse. I ask why they stay.

We often repeat toxic patterns unconsciously due to childhood wounds.

“Who treated you like that as a child? When were you bullied? When do you fell ‘less than?” We discover the link between their past and the patterns that show up in dating and relationships.

The relationship lives in between the two of you, and if it becomes polluted and contaminated over time, not only are they the receivers of this toxicity, if there are children involved, they are the recipient of this toxicity until they break the pattern.

What are the most common mistakes people make in relationships, and how can they avoid them?

Don’t get between the sheets before two months. Know what you want in a relationship. Write those things down. How do you know you’ll get all that within a short amount of time? We tend to project onto a person before we know them. Be open. Share your concerns. Ask questions. Communicate openly to avoid the surprises when someone is not a good match.

What is one step someone can take today to break their toxic patterns in relationships?

Look at your past and recognize the behaviors they’ve brought into the here and now. I give a life history questionnaire to my patients to find out what their past was like. By the time they come in, I know where I need to go with them. Ask yourself if you want to change. It’s not easy, but it’s possible to change.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Identify what you can and can’t live with. What can you and can’t you live without? Look for those qualities. Understand that it takes time for those things to come out. Set boundaries and be honest with them if you like them. M. Scott Peck said, “Love is the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” That’s what you want in a relationship!

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect with Joan

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

The Fears that Sabotage Relationships

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What are the fears that sabotage relationships? Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides helps us explore why good relationships fall apart. — What are the three key fears that sabotage relationships? That was the topic of discussion with Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides. She is a Sydney-based Clinical Psychologist, meditation teacher, and pioneer in psychedelic-assisted therapy in Australia. With nearly […]

fears that sabotage relationships

What are the fears that sabotage relationships? Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides helps us explore why good relationships fall apart.

—

What are the three key fears that sabotage relationships? That was the topic of discussion with Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides. She is a Sydney-based Clinical Psychologist, meditation teacher, and pioneer in psychedelic-assisted therapy in Australia. With nearly 30 years in mental health, she integrates clinical psychology, neuroscience, mindfulness, and psychedelic therapy to explore trauma, healing, and human connection, drawing from both professional expertise and lived experience.

In this episode, we covered:

  • The three key fears that hold us back in life and love
  • What happens in relationships when people are unaware of the fears they carry
  • How to begin to overcome our fears and have better relationships with ourselves and others

EP 716: Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides – The Fears That Sabotage Relationships

Highlights of this episode

Dr. Lukeides’ background & her core message

  • Central theme: The “Field of love” is a state of safety and fearlessness; fear = anything that pulls us out of that field.
  • Her key insight from personal experience: seeking external validation never fully heals inner wounds; self-love (unconditional acceptance of all parts of ourselves) is distinct from self-esteem (conditional, comparative).
  • Book coming out end of 2026: “No Parts Left Behind” with an emphasis on Internal Family Systems / parts work and reintegrating exiled parts.

Three core fear categories that sabotage relationships

  • Fear of weakness/vulnerability (survival/health): belief “I can’t cope” leads to avoidance of emotionally demanding growth.
  • Fear of incompetence/failure (skills/intellect): impostor syndrome, fear of criticism, avoidance of situations that risk perceived failure.
  • Fear of rejection/undesirability (social/attachment): early attachment wounds create expectations of exclusion and filter current interactions negatively.
  • All three originate from early experiences and form predictive “algorithms” that skew interpretation; healing requires re-examining our original conclusions.

Practical strategies for dating, boundaries, and relationship repair

  • Name and dialogue with our fears: anthropomorphize fears/parts. Ask what they are trying to protect you from.
  • Gentle, experimental exposure: “dance” of incremental self-disclosure (step forward, mirror, step back) rather than full neutralization of defenses.
  • Use self-compassion/parts work: bring exiled or shameful parts into a nonjudgmental “field of love.”
  • Go needs-first: articulate needs and boundaries early on in dating; sharing hurts and preferences is data, not aggression.
  • Test capacity early: small boundary checks (interrupting politely, asking for plans, noting treatment of waitstaff) reveal partner reliability.
  • Practical first-date tips: treat dating as play; use active/shared activities (museums, walks) to observe behavior; debrief post-date on curiosity, attraction, and reciprocity.
  • Stop compensating: avoid over-planning/paying/doing everything; lean back to see who can step up.

Watch on YouTube

Connect With Dr. Maria

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Submit your dating dilemma to be answered on my podcast https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

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