Uncategorized - Married Womens For Dating

How to Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship

Posted on April 29, 2026April 29, 2026 by

If you keep hunting for red flags in your relationships, stop! Dr. Isabelle Morley shares insights into the biggest problems with dating. — Dr. Isabelle Morley is a clinical psychologist, EFT-certified couples therapist, and author. She writes a blog for Psychology Today and has been featured in The New Yorker, The Boston Globe, Vox, and […]

If you keep hunting for red flags in your relationships, stop! Dr. Isabelle Morley shares insights into the biggest problems with dating.

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Dr. Isabelle Morley is a clinical psychologist, EFT-certified couples therapist, and author. She writes a blog for Psychology Today and has been featured in The New Yorker, The Boston Globe, Vox, and more. Dr. Morley also serves on the founding board of the UCAN Foundation and provides couples therapy in the Boston area. We’re talking today about her new book, “They’re Not Gaslighting You”.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

Why we’re obsessed with words like “narcissist” and “gaslighting” in dating
How our relationships are affected by hunting for red flags and other ways we try to diagnose our partners
What to say if someone accuses you of having a psychological disorder

EP 666: Dr. Isabelle Morley – How to Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship!

What led to the uptick in therapy-speak, and why are we all obsessed with using clinical terms?

We can blame the internet and social media for the uptick in these terms. People had no idea what borderline personality and boundaries were. Now, everyone has access to this information. People have learned the wrong meaning for these words, and that can be harmful.

What’s the problem with people using therapy terms? Isn’t it good that people are more knowledgeable about things like boundaries and narcissists and hunting for red flags?

People use these terms accusatory and that’s not helpful. You have to make a choice in what you want to do and how you want to behave in relationships.

How are people’s relationships being affected by these clinical terms?

So much of your life can be changed by you instead of accusing others. If you’re encountering the same type of person over and over, ask yourself, what behaviors am I tolerating that I shouldn’t be?

How can people best respond to someone who has accused them of having a psychological disorder or exhibiting abusive behavior when they don’t think it’s justified?

One of the best ways to respond to a psychological term that doesn’t feel justified, is to not get defensive, because they will then reinforce that you are that thing they’re accusing you of. Instead, hear them, acknowledge that they must be really hurt to call you that. Let’s talk about it, because it’s painful and doesn’t help.

Abusers use these terms to control the narrative. You’re the problem. Look carefully at whether they’re not willing to walk it back. That’s concerning.

How is misused or weaponized therapy-speak getting in the way of dating?

Gaslighting is a word from a movie. If you’ve truly been gaslit, it causes immeasurable damage. There are two major sources of harm: if you look for red flags, you’re going to find them. If you’re looking for narcissists, you’ll find them. You’ll also write off perfectly good partners for no reason. Don’t draw these conclusions without enough data.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

As hard as it is, lead with vulnerability and curiosity. Be open and don’t jump to self-protective labels. People are trying their best. Give yourself and others grace.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect with Isabelle Morley

IG @drisabellemorley https://www.instagram.com/drisabellemorley/?hl=en
Website: drisabellemorley.com
3 Free downloads: Reality Check: Am I Being Gaslit?, Say What You Mean: Translating Therapy Speak into Real Connection, and Label-Free Language: A Guide to Non-Pathologizing Conversations

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Why We Fall For People We Can’t Have

Posted on April 28, 2026 by

Many of us fall for people we can’t have. In this episode, you’ll learn why we do that, and how we can start falling for people we CAN have. — Have you ever fallen for someone who was in a relationship, married, lived too far away — someone who was not available for a relationship? […]

Many of us fall for people we can’t have. In this episode, you’ll learn why we do that, and how we can start falling for people we CAN have.

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Have you ever fallen for someone who was in a relationship, married, lived too far away — someone who was not available for a relationship? Listen to this episode with my son, Max, and learn why we fall for people we can’t have.

EP 677: Why We Fall For People We Can’t Have

Why We Fall For People We Can’t Have

We perceive what we can’t have as having more value
We like the challenge of trying to chase what we can’t get
We have self esteem or trust issues
We have fear of commitment
We didn’t expect things to be like this because they gave us all the right signals
We convinced ourselves this person was our only or best option

How to avoid falling for people you can’t have

Stop believing it’s the only person you can have
Get the confidence and social skills to meet people anywhere
Open up all your options, so you stop focusing on people who are not available

Watch this episode on YouTube

Have you ever fallen for someone you couldn’t have? Please share your story below.

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

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How to Get a Second Date

Posted on April 28, 2026 by

How do you get a second date when you’re interested in someone? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some excellent tips! — How do you get a second date? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some tips for you! He is a Presidential Professor of Psychology at Bucknell University. His research focuses on […]

How do you get a second date when you’re interested in someone? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some excellent tips!

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How do you get a second date? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some tips for you! He is a Presidential Professor of Psychology at Bucknell University. His research focuses on mate attraction, mate selection, mate expulsion, love, and relationships. He’s the author of numerous articles in social and evolutionary psychology journals, and his research has been covered in media outlets including the BBC, NPR, and CBC, and numerous national and international news magazines.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

Do the actions men and women use to get a second date differ, and if so why?
What are a few things people can say or do to get a second date?
How the actions men and women use to signal attraction to a potential mate differs

EP 648: T. Joel Wade – How to Get a Second Date

Do the actions men and women use to get a second date differ, and if so why?

Biology plays a role. Women tend to be more likely to give a second date to a man who seems to be interested in more than sex. Etiquette behaviors are important. He’s polite, shows interest, and doesn’t pressure her for sex. The connection is more emotional for women.

For men, they want a second date if they feel a sexual attraction and there’s a possibility that sex could occur. If she’s overtly sexual, that might not lead to long term relationships, and if he’s looking for more, she would get a second date if she flirts, smiles, touches him, etc. If she drinks alcohol, it tends to be a positive sign that she’s willing to consume alcohol. Synchronized behaviors and postures also play a role in attraction.

What are a few things people can say or do to get a second date?

Some things happen naturally, like eye contact, listening, being focused on the other person. Display altruism and willingness to help. On the second date, there’s more self-disclosure. Then you begin to see likes, dislikes, and personality.

Let’s talk about flirting. Do the actions men and women use to signal attraction to a potential mate differ, and if so why?

There are some similarities in unconscious behaviors like eye contact, focusing on the other person, etc. There is a difference between how men and women flirt based on their mate preferences. The actions that are most effective for men are seeing interest in emotional connection. Gift-giving shows kindness. Altruism – willingness to offer help. Men look for signs that a woman is interested emotionally and sexually. There is not a lot of difference in behaviors cross-culturally.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Be aware that dating is an information gathering exercise where you’re finding out if you’re compatible. Take your time, be open, don’t come on too strong, and trust your instincts.

Watch on YouTube

Connect with T Joel Wade

Website https://www.bucknell.edu/fac-staff/t-joel-wade
Psychology Today page https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/t-joel-wade-phd

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

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Celebrating Those Who Are Happily Single

Posted on April 27, 2026 by

There are many people who are happily single. We celebrate the single lifestyle in this episode! — Dr. Bella DePaulo is the leading expert on single life, and her TEDx talk on the topic now has more than 1.6 million views. She received her PhD from Harvard, spent two decades as a psychology professor at […]

There are many people who are happily single. We celebrate the single lifestyle in this episode!

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Dr. Bella DePaulo is the leading expert on single life, and her TEDx talk on the topic now has more than 1.6 million views. She received her PhD from Harvard, spent two decades as a psychology professor at the University of Virginia, and is an academic affiliate at UC Santa Barbara. She is the author of SINGLE AT HEART.

In this episode:

The definition of “single at heart”
Why people who are single at heart love being single so much
Doesn’t everyone want to have a romantic partner?
The positive benefits of embracing a single life
Reactions to the Single at Heart book

EP 703: Dr. Bella DePaulo – Celebrating Those Who Are Happily Single

What does “single at heart” mean?

We love our single lives. We are happy and flourishing because we’re single. I dated in the past, and I don’t have any horror stories. And when each relationship ended, I was so happy to get back to my single life.

Why do the single at heart love being single so much?

They love their solitude and freedom and connection with their friends. They have a life they love. They choose the life they want.

Doesn’t everyone want to have a romantic partner?

No, not everyone wants a romantic partner. Some people don’t want to be married, especially not unhappily married. You can have friends with benefits or find other ways to have intimacy.

What are the positives of embracing a single life? Are there statistical or personal benefits?

Your friendships are valued more. You appreciate your solitude. You do what you want without being judged. You won’t be lonely if you like your solitude. It’s a sign of emotional maturity.

What kinds of reactions have you gotten to your Single at Heart book?

In the first couple of weeks after the publish date, I got hundreds of messages and emails and even snail mail. People felt validated. They felt like they found a home.

What are your final words about being single at heart?

Live your single lives fully, joyfully, and unapologetically.

Connect with Bella

X: @belladepaulo
Bluesky: @belladepaulo.bsky.social
IG: @bellasingleatheart
FB: @singleatheartbook @belladepaulo
YouTube: @BellaDePaulo
Website: https://belladepaulo.com/

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

How to Overcome Pelvic Floor Issues After 50

Posted on April 26, 2026 by

Did you know that pelvic floor issues impact many women over 50? My podcast guest, Sara Reardon will help you get the help you need. — Pelvic floor issues are common but not normal. Help is available so women can take back their bodies, says board-certified pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Sara Reardon in her […]

Did you know that pelvic floor issues impact many women over 50? My podcast guest, Sara Reardon will help you get the help you need.

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Pelvic floor issues are common but not normal. Help is available so women can take back their bodies, says board-certified pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Sara Reardon in her new book, FLOORED: A Woman’s Guide to Pelvic Floor Health at Every Age and Stage (pub date June 10, 2025). Dr. Sara has built a robust community online as “The Vagina Whisperer” (664K Instagram followers; 13 Million TikTok Views) teaching women how to prevent as well as overcome pelvic floor issues at every stage of life with simple tips like “squeeze before you sneeze” to more advanced protocols to prepare for childbirth or navigate changes during menopause.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

How Sara became known as “The Vagina Whisperer”
What is the pelvic floor, and what are the common symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction?
What a woman should do if her doctor tells her her pelvic pain or leakage is essentially a normal part of being a woman, aging, pregnant, postpartum, menopause, etc
Some of the most common pelvic floor problems and what women do to treat them
Top tips any woman can do right now to take care of her pelvic floor
Why there’s a stigma around talking about women’s health “down there”
How pelvic floor problems evolve over time if left untreated
How women’s partners can help them with their pelvic floor pain
What a woman can do if she can’t find a pelvic floor therapist near her

EP 665: Sara Reardon – A Woman’s Guide to Overcoming Pelvic Floor Issues After 50

Why did you write FLOORED: A Woman’s Guide to Pelvic Floor Health at Every Age and Stage?

I never planned to be an author. People kept saying I should write a book as a resource for women. I got an email from a Harper Collins editor asking me to write the book. I wanted women to feel less alone in every stage of life.

How did you become known as “The Vagina Whisperer”?

I’ve been practicing as a pelvic floor specialist for 18 years. Over the past five or six years, there’s been more awareness on social media. I started sharing information with my girlfriends and patients. So, in 2016, I started my account “The Vagina Whisperer”, because women weren’t getting this important information. I wanted to give them tips and tools to help them understand their bodies and give them relief.

What is the pelvic floor, and what are the common symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction?

The pelvic floor supports your uterus, ovaries, your bowels, and for women, it affects menstruation and intercourse. If you have issues like urinary leakage, discomfort with bowel movements, or painful sex, it has to do with your pelvic floor.

What should a woman do if her doctor tells her her pelvic pain or leakage is essentially a normal part of being a woman, aging, pregnant, postpartum, menopause, etc?

Find a new doctor if you’re dismissed or minimized. You deserve to be treated with respect.

What are some of your top tips any woman can do right now to take care of her pelvic floor?

If you’re perimenopausal or menopausal, talk to your provider about topical estrogen, learn about the right lubes for more comfortable sex. Make your muscles stronger by knowing the proper way to pee – by letting the stream flow. For bowel movements, use a stool to relax and not strain. Pushing weakens your pelvic floor.

What do you think about the “big vulva” industry that’s booming selling women products like vaginal deodorant?

As we have more awareness of vaginal health, there are a lot of businesses that have released products that are for deodorizing vaginas. This is dangerous. It can put you at a higher risk for infections. If there’s a strong odor, get yourself checked for infections. There is a normal scent to vaginas.

How can women’s partners help them with their pelvic floor pain?

Knowledge is powerful. These are muscles and tissues in our body. If there’s pain, something isn’t right. If you had back pain, you’d tell your partner, too. First, understand where the pain is coming from. Second, ask your partner to help you. Do you need them to do yoga with you before sex? Use a lubricant? Communication is key. You’re not broken. It’s a WE problem, not a YOU problem.

What should a woman do if she can’t find a pelvic floor therapist near her?

You have a lot of options. Go to pelvicrehab.com or pelvicglobal.com or google to find a therapist near you. If you can’t find one, you can also do tele-health to get educated about your pelvic floor. I have an online exercise program. You can also buy my book to learn more.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

The most important work we can do is on ourselves. That’s where you’re going to find the most growth. When my husband and I were getting married, someone asked what I liked about him. A better question is, “do you like who you are when you’re together?”

Follow Sara Reardon

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

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The Surprising Reasons Why Men Pull Away After Early Connection

Posted on April 26, 2026 by

Ladies, if you want to know why men pull away in the early stages of dating, you don’t want to miss this podcast episode! — Why do men pull away after early connection? My podcast guest, Johnny Fernandez, has the answer to this and many other dating and relationship challenges. He is a seasoned relationship […]

Ladies, if you want to know why men pull away in the early stages of dating, you don’t want to miss this podcast episode!

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Why do men pull away after early connection? My podcast guest, Johnny Fernandez, has the answer to this and many other dating and relationship challenges. He is a seasoned relationship coach with over 20 years of experience helping women attract lasting love. As co-founder of the Feminine Radiance and Courage Institute, he guides clients to deepen confidence, heal emotional patterns, and build meaningful connections through heart-centered support and proven strategies.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

Why so many women experience men pulling away after what feels like a great initial connection
Common misunderstandings women have about men’s behavior during the early dating phase
What’s happening for a man emotionally or psychologically when he suddenly goes quiet or distances himself after seeming really into a woman
What to do if you feel confused or rejected when a man disappears or changes suddenly
What shifts when a woman learns how to respond in those moments of disconnection or uncertainty—rather than reacting

EP 668: Johnny Fernandez – Why Men Pull Away After Early Connection

Why do so many women experience men pulling away after what feels like a great initial connection?

Our approach is to look at masculine and feminine and what is affect and what is cause. We give women more credit and power over how the dating goes than most people. There’s a lot of preparation before dating to prevent men from pulling away. Largely, men pull away because of how they think, which is they put women in one of two categories early on: 1. She’s kind of fun for a little while, which rarely leads to marriage or commitment or 2. She’s different, I might be able to build a life with her. She needs to show up in communication as that second woman.

Are you showing up as the prize and distinguished? Do you know how to communicate with him to activate his masculinity switch?

Draw in a different type of man. Distinguish yourself from the other options as a woman of high value.

Change your mindset from “I haven’t gone on enough dates”, which is exhausting and not intentional, to “I didn’t build my skills enough to draw in the right person”. In early communication, when a man asks, “Do you want to hang out?”, that’s a fork in the road moment. You say, “You mean like a date?” If he says anything other than “Yes, a date”, walk away.

Men and women are not the same. Here’s how I see the masculine and feminine:

Masculine: He’s a protector, a provider, a leader who wants to love, cherish and adore her. That helps him become the best version of himself, the King to his Queen.

Feminine: She is the heart. She brings her feminine radiance, a lightness, warmth, and high value. It’s about how men feel in her presence.

Can you explain what’s happening for a man emotionally or psychologically when he suddenly goes quiet or distances himself after seeming to be really into a woman?

She probably hasn’t flipped his masculinity switch to inspire him to show up in his a-game and build a life with her. He doesn’t want to be a better man for her.

What advice do you give women who feel confused or rejected when men pull away or disappear after they connected?

We don’t use the word ‘rejected’ because that assumes we know what’s happening in his head. Many times, it has nothing to do with her. However, there is some part she does have responsibility over. We focus on that. We work with her on busting her assumptions and what she can do to let him go. We look for a pattern to understand what her part is. With responsibility comes power.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Take your love life as seriously as you took your college degree and your career. Prepare yourself for a great relationship, for something completely different and better.

Connect With Johnny

IG https://www.instagram.com/johnnyandlara/
Website https://radianceandcourage.com/
Free gift https://johnny-and-lara.mykajabi.com/podcastfreegift

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

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Reinventing Love and Life After 40

Posted on April 25, 2026 by

Have you thought about reinventing your love and life after 40? Wendy Valentine did, and here’s her inspirational story! — Wendy Valentine reinvented her love and life after 40. She’s the author of Women Waking Up: The Midlife Manifesto for Passion, Purpose, and Play and the host of The Midlife Makeover Show, a top-rated podcast […]

Have you thought about reinventing your love and life after 40? Wendy Valentine did, and here’s her inspirational story!

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Wendy Valentine reinvented her love and life after 40. She’s the author of Women Waking Up: The Midlife Manifesto for Passion, Purpose, and Playand the host of The Midlife Makeover Show, a top-rated podcast for women in midlife. After her divorce at 45, she learned to “marry herself” first—rebuilding her life from the inside out. Now she empowers women to embrace self-love, rediscover joy, and attract relationships rooted in authenticity and alignment.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

What it means to marry yourself before dating after divorce
The FREEDOM Framework for transformation, and how to use it to heal from heartbreak
How to design your ideal relationship and have an amazing life after 40

EP 694: Wendy Valentine – Reinventing Love and Life After 40

You’ve said that one of the best things you ever did was “marry yourself.” What does that mean, and how did that change the way you approached love and relationships?

When I was 45, I got divorced, was unemployed, $150,000 in debt, had chronic lyme disease, and I had a lot of losses at one time. I went through depression and panic attacks for the first time. I started over with everything and didn’t know how to begin. My saving grace was a dream to drive an RV across the country. I went for it, and despite all that I was dealing with, little by little, I took steps towards that dream. It took two years, and now, I’m living my dream.

“Marry yourself” is getting to know yourself. Most of us don’t know our values and what we want and need. Tune into your needs and wants. What does it mean to truly love yourself? Do the work before dating again.

In your book, you share your F.R.E.E.D.O.M. Framework for transformation. How can women use those steps to heal from heartbreak and open up to healthy love again?

After my divorce, freedom meant freedom from money issues, toxic relationships, etc. So I created the FREEDOM Framework, which are the seven steps I took after divorce to heal.

F: free yourself

R: reset your life

E: envision your new future

E: embrace and explore

D: detach from tomorrow

O: own your best self

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Make yourself your forever first date. It’ll all work out. Get to know yourself, take care of yourself. Leap and the net will appear.

Connect With Wendy

Website: https://wendyvalentine.com
Media: https://wendyvalentine.com/media-kit
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wendy_valentine_/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hellowendyvalentine/
Substack: https://wendyvalentine.substack.com

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Love After 50: From First Date to Engagement

Posted on April 25, 2026 by

How do you become more emotionally available in dating? In this episode, we discuss some simple steps you can take today. — Listen to the story of Kat and Shawn, a couple who met in their mid-50s. I worked with Kat before, during, and after she met Shawn, and they are a living example of […]

How do you become more emotionally available in dating? In this episode, we discuss some simple steps you can take today.

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Listen to the story of Kat and Shawn, a couple who met in their mid-50s. I worked with Kat before, during, and after she met Shawn, and they are a living example of how to find love after 50 and make the relationship work. They are engaged, living together, and navigating every up and down that comes with relationships later in life.

In this episode:

What makes a relationship after 50 work well
How to design healthy partnership
Obstacles that come up in relationships and how to work through them
How to know if they’re the right one for you

EP 697: Kat and Shawn – Falling in Love After 50, The Journey From First Date to Engagement

From Kat and Shawn

“We met online in our mid-50s, and the chemistry and compatibility were amazing from the start. We both value good communication and personal and relational growth. When we find ourselves at a crossroads, it’s extremely helpful to work with Sandy. She’s able to hear and understand BOTH our perspectives and helps us consider alternative ways of seeing our challenges. She gives us the tools to continue to build a healthier relationship.

We return to these new insights frequently and appreciate how much better our relationship is with the addition of an expert. She recently helped us overcome a big issue that was keeping us stuck. Later that day, on August 5th we got engaged! We’re grateful for a relationship that feels secure, loving, and supportive.”

Kat and Shawn

Highlights from the podcast

Tell us a little about your past relationships before you two met.

Kat: Divorced twice, running a business, raising two kids. Took a long time off of dating until kids were in college. Used to date guys who shared common interests. Hired me to be more intentional

Shawn: Divorced seven years, dated on and off. Stopped dating a bit before meeting Katherine. Didn’t have a high level of self-awareness or a partner with similar values before meeting Kat.

How did you meet?

Kat: I reached out to Shawn on Match and met for coffee. We were together for ten minutes, then met for a walk the next day. There was chemistry right away, and I had to intentionally slow things down.

Shawn: We had communicated for about a week before meeting, and there was instant chemistry when we met. I loved her humor. So I asked her out again for the next day.

How have you designed your partnership?

We have calendars and schedules. We are our favorite people to be with, but we also make sure to have time outside of the house on our own. We have a travel calendar for travel together and apart. We try to balance all of that. We talk about finances and long range goals.

What are some of the obstacles you’ve faced, and how have you overcome them?

Kat: Slowing down has helped us create a strong foundation to overcome obstacles.

The first disharmony was when I was in Africa for three weeks. It brought up insecure feelings in Shawn. Our insecurities are at the heart of every roadblock.

Shawn: Saying you have insecurity is much different from feeling it. We prioritize honesty above all things. And we agree that omissions are dishonesty. We own our insecurities. We first look at ourselves and ask if it’s something from our past or our triggers.

How has your relationship evolved over the past two years?

Kat: We repair quickly. We try to talk things out as soon as possible. We pray together daily. One of us is always showing up for the other. We have a white couch that we call our therapy couch where we talk everything out. We even created a breakup plan so we have guardrails on our relationship and will seek out three therapy sessions before making a decision to break up.

Blending our finances was challenging. I come from fear/scarcity and Shawn comes from an abundance mindset. I had to challenge childhood beliefs and communicate my fears to Shawn. We both have our teams for support which sometimes is more helpful than speaking to each other.

Shawn: I speak to other men who are committed to their partners, men who will call me out on my BS and be very honest with me.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Kat: What worked great for us was to take things really slow physically. I had a schedule about what was and wasn’t allowed, so the chemistry wouldn’t cloud my judgment.

Shawn: Early on, rigorous and deliberate honesty. Share things that you’re not proud of about yourself. Find a reason to be as honest as possible. It’s one of the most important things you can do. I learned so much about her when I was brave and shared with her.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Dating Advice: Old Dating Rules vs. New Dating Guidelines

Posted on April 24, 2026 by

Out with the old dating rules, and in with new dating guidelines and principles. Tune in to Last First Date Radio to hear Talia Koren! — Why should we dump the old dating rules? Talia Koren is a dating podcaster, content creator, and entrepreneur who went on 64 first dates in under 10 months before […]

Out with the old dating rules, and in with new dating guidelines and principles. Tune in to Last First Date Radio to hear Talia Koren!

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Why should we dump the old dating rules? Talia Koren is a dating podcaster, content creator, and entrepreneur who went on 64 first dates in under 10 months before meeting her husband on Hinge. Now, as the founder of Dating Intentionally, she helps women in their 30s–50s date with purpose, build real connections, and enjoy the process.

In this episode:

The old rules of dating and why they don’t work anymore
The new dating guidelines
How to get out of old dating programming
Why people today are afraid of commitment and vulnerability
What to do when someone says they’re ready for commitment but aren’t

EP 709: Talia Koren – Old Dating Rules vs. New Dating Guidelines

Highlights of this Episode

Main theme: Old dating rules vs. new guidelines

Old “rules” (e.g., waiting three days, three-date sex rule) are games/manipulation.
Reframe dating as games vs. boundaries vs. standards.
Recommendation: ditch manipulative games; use clear boundaries and healthy standards.

Practical dating guidelines

Slow dating: align actions with goals, reflect after dates, sit with discomfort.
Show clear interest (don’t hide feelings); be direct about communication preferences.
Women encouraged to make first moves; both partners should share initiative by “turning towards” each other.
First dates should be low-commitment (coffee/walk) as a vibe check.
Focus reflections on values, how you felt, and reciprocity — not superficial markers (car, degree).
Ask targeted, personal questions related to your needs (e.g., career, travel) to evaluate fit.
If actions don’t match stated intentions (e.g., says wants a relationship but is inconsistent), move on.

Personal experiences/examples

Talia: 64 first dates in 10 months, then met husband outside her “type”; attraction developed slowly; prized slow burn, reciprocity, and lack of red flags.
Examples of dealbreakers: physical boundary violations (unwanted grabbing), stalking/over-researching, Venmo-for-sex behavior.

Watch on YouTube

Connect With Talia

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Why Pleasure is Essential to Wellness (and no longer taboo)

Posted on April 24, 2026 by

Did you know that pleasure is crucial to our wellbeing? My podcast guest, sexologist Tugce Balik, dives deeper into this topic! — Tugce Balik believes that pleasure is essential to our wellness. She blends Western science with Eastern traditions to help people heal, reconnect, and feel at home in their bodies and with each other. […]

Did you know that pleasure is crucial to our wellbeing? My podcast guest, sexologist Tugce Balik, dives deeper into this topic!

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Tugce Balik believes that pleasure is essential to our wellness. She blends Western science with Eastern traditions to help people heal, reconnect, and feel at home in their bodies and with each other. She’s a certified Tibetan Tantra practitioner and an American Board-Certified Sexologist with a focus on healing through embodiment. Her approach is gentle, empowering, and rooted in deep care. To her, pleasure isn’t something you earn. It’s your birthright, your medicine, and her work at Arya helps couples remember exactly that.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

Why pleasure is moving from taboo to essential wellness
Why 57% of couples can’t talk about sex—and practical ways to bridge that divide
How intimacy impacts stress, hormones, and overall relationship satisfaction
How technology can help couples approach once-uncomfortable conversations
Arya’s Erotic Personas and how they can help partners understand each other

EP 686: Tugce Balik – Why Pleasure is Essential to Wellness (and no longer taboo)

Why do you think pleasure is moving from taboo to essential wellness?

We’re in the second wave of the wellness movement. First we were taking care of our bodies and our personal care. Now, we understand our sexuality is a huge part of our whole self. We can’t just separate them. Many of us have had sexual trauma or taboo in our past. That’s why I’m so passionate about helping people see how important pleasure is.

Why do 57% of couples struggle to talk about sex—and what are practical ways to bridge that divide?

Do we know ourselves well enough to communicate our needs and desires. Begin with the connection you have with each other. Schedule time with your partner. Be present with each other and create safety in each other’s bodies. Sit across from each other, breathe together, gaze into each other’s eyes, and coregulate. Then, you can have a hard conversation. Frame it as an invitation with curiosity. We have an intimacy deck of cards that help the conversation.

If you’re in the middle of sex and you don’t like something, pause, start with appreciation first and then guide them to what would make it even better. You can use your hand or their hand to show them what you like. You can also demo it on their body.

For anyone entering a relationship later in life, how can we deal with post-menopause issues or erectile dysfuntion?

Have a conversation before sex to explain what you need to have more pleasure. Talk about lube and whatever else you need. More pauses and breaks? And with men who have erectile dysfunction, there are many causes, and it happens at all ages. It’s important first to find out the root cause of the dysfunction. If it’s physical, you can work with a pelvic floor specialist or talk to your doctor about what you can do. If you’re going through stress, your hormones are affected.

Also, what does your self-pleasure routine look like? That impacts how you have sex. Cultivate a pleasure routine that’s not just centered on orgasm.

How does technology help couples approach once-uncomfortable conversations?

Everyone has different intimacy languages. Technology helps identify their play styles and erotic desires. The more information we have, the better it is. When you know your patterns, you can explore more. We give monthly guided experiences to couples based on their patterns and personas.

What are Arya’s Erotic Personas and how do they help partners understand each other?

The categories are: The romantic prioritizes intimacy and connection, focuses on the journey. The directors enjoy more spontaneous sex, straightforward, goal oriented towards orgasm. The connectors prioritize sensuality and stimulation. The adventurers are into kink and variety.

The pairings are interesting, and it’s also good to see that we’re not always what we thought we were.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Recenter yourself rather than centering on the other person. Be less hyper-focused on what they think of you, and focus more on how you’re feeling in the presence of the other person. Ask, “What does this person bring out in me?”

Connect with Tugce:

Tugce IG: https://www.instagram.com/iamtugcebalik/
Arya IG: https://www.instagram.com/arya.fyi/
Arya website: https://www.arya.fyi/join/

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate