Last Updated on May 17, 2025 by
You can increase intimacy in all parts of your life. My podcast guests, Celeste and Danielle, will show you how! — Do you want to know how to increase intimacy in your life? Danielle Harel, Ph.D., and Celeste Hirschman, M.A., are co-founders of the Somatica® Institute. They revolutionized intimacy and relationship coaching with their experiential […]
You can increase intimacy in all parts of your life. My podcast guests, Celeste and Danielle, will show you how!
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Do you want to know how to increase intimacy in your life? Danielle Harel, Ph.D., and Celeste Hirschman, M.A., are co-founders of the Somatica® Institute. They revolutionized intimacy and relationship coaching with their experiential Somatica Method. They have trained over 1,000 coaches, authored three books, and inspired countless people to embrace vulnerability and rediscover desire.
In this episode:
- How to start practicing intimacy in your daily life
- Why it’s essential to start with non-romantic connections
- How to step out of your comfort zone and practice intimacy with strangers
- How couples can create chemistry, even if they don’t feel an immediate connection at first
- Some of the first steps someone can take to actively generate more chemistry with their partner, even after years together
- How men can shed their emotional armor and lean into vulnerability with their partners
EP 659: Danielle Harel & Celeste Hirschman – How to Increase Intimacy in Your Everyday Life
How can people start practicing intimacy in their daily lives, and why is it essential to start with non-romantic connections?
Celeste: Intimacy is first with ourselves, even the parts we’re embarrassed about. We need to connect to those parts so we can connect and accept others. We often judge others, and when we bring those pieces together, we can have better relationships with others.
Danielle: People are missing out on intimacy if they’re only thinking of it as a romantic term. Connection with all people builds your band of joy and fullness.
Celeste: There are things we’re ashamed of that won’t change. That’s what I mean by acceptance. Even when we change, things still come up, but we can deal with them in a healthier way.
Danielle: My wound is about intimacy with self, not with others. Intimacy created a way to love my body and connect more intimately with others.
How do you guide people to step out of their comfort zones and practice intimacy with strangers?
Celeste: When I’m at the bank and ask the teller how they’re doing instead of staring at my phone, that’s intimacy. In our work, we begin with an open hearted stance to create intimacy.
Danielle: We can practice intimacy with every person in our lives. It’s powerful. The stakes are lower, so you can be more open and less defensive.
How do you help couples create chemistry, even if they don’t feel an immediate connection at first?
Danielle: Chemistry is not created with a list. Sitting present with a person and checking with what feels good is important. Are you enjoying the experience? If you’re totally not attracted, don’t keep dating, but if you’re having fun and connecting, that’s great. We can have different types of chemistry with people: intellectual, travel adventures, or sexual chemistry.
Celeste: Don’t try to make a relationship right away and be future focused. Be present and build intimacy in moments.
What are some of the first steps someone can take to actively generate more chemistry with their partner, even after years together?
Celeste: Start with the reality that sex doesn’t happen spontaneously. We don’t always have a conversation about what turns us on and whether it’s compatible. Have the conversations so you can continue to build chemistry.
Danielle: Many couples don’t even know it’s a conversation to have. It can be hard to keep a fire burning after you’ve been together for a while. Pay attention and learn tools to understand what motivates us in sex. Sex becomes a resource and not a chore.
Celeste: For example, if someone touches my face while kissing me, I feel special and turned on.
How do you help men shed their emotional armor and lean into vulnerability with their partners?
Celeste: I love working with men. A man I’m working with feels he has to manage his partner’s emotions and not let her feel fully. Other men don’t know how to express their fears and uncertainty. I help them understand their emotions and learn how to let their partners take care of their own feelings. He gets to feel his response to it.
Danielle: I’ve worked with a lot of women who feel men are supposed to know how to deal with their emotions. There are expectations that men can hold their feelings. It’s more helpful for women to express what’s going on for them and what they need from their partners when they have big emotions.
What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?
Celeste: I used to go on dates thinking I was marketing to someone else’s needs. Now, I ask myself if I’m getting what I want and need.
Danielle: Enjoy every moment. Don’t just shoot for the end. Every connection is an opportunity for more intimacy.
Website & Social Media Links:
- Special Offer: $20 off of the Love on Purpose dating class for women: https://learn.somatica.com/course/intentional-dating-for-women with coupon code LFD20
- Facebook:
- Somatica Institute – www.facebook.com/somaticainstitute/
- Celeste and Danielle – www.facebook.com/celesteanddanielle
- Instagram:
- Somatica Institute – @somatica_institute
- Celeste and Danielle – @celesteanddanielleofficial
- Celeste Hirschman – @celestehirschman
- Danielle Harel – @drdanielleharel
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