Why do we tend to repeat toxic patterns in relationships and dating? Joan Childs has some insights you’ll want to hear! — Why do we tend to repeat toxic patterns in our relationships? My podcast guest, Joan Childs, is sharing her wisdom in this episode. She’s a renowned psychotherapist, author, and relationship expert with over […]

Why do we tend to repeat toxic patterns in relationships and dating? Joan Childs has some insights you’ll want to hear!

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Why do we tend to repeat toxic patterns in our relationships? My podcast guest, Joan Childs, is sharing her wisdom in this episode. She’s a renowned psychotherapist, author, and relationship expert with over 47 years of clinical experience. As a pioneer in Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy, Joan has dedicated her career to healing fractured relationships and guiding people toward self-actualization. Her therapeutic journey has included individual, couples, group, and family therapy, earning her certifications in transformative modalities such as EMDR, Hypnosis, and Inner Child Work.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• Why we repeat toxic patterns in relationships
• Common mistakes couples make and how to avoid them
• What to do when there’s a loss of intimacy in a relationship
• The biggest myths about love and relationships

EP 649: Joan Childs – Why We Repeat Toxic Patterns in Relationships

What inspired you to write Do You Hate the One You Love?

 Over the years, I heard the same expressions from women that they hated how their partner behaved. I would ask why they were with someone they hated. They’d say they love him, but they hate the way he behaved. It’s common to have opposing feelings at the same time.

Why do we repeat toxic patterns in relationships?

Nobody should be subjected to abuse. A lot of women don’t feel they have options to leave. Ask yourself if this is something you want to do the rest of your life, especially if the other person isn’t willing to change. I try to help the person receiving the abuse. I ask why they stay.

We often repeat toxic patterns unconsciously due to childhood wounds.

“Who treated you like that as a child? When were you bullied? When do you fell ‘less than?” We discover the link between their past and the patterns that show up in dating and relationships.

The relationship lives in between the two of you, and if it becomes polluted and contaminated over time, not only are they the receivers of this toxicity, if there are children involved, they are the recipient of this toxicity until they break the pattern.

What are the most common mistakes people make in relationships, and how can they avoid them?

Don’t get between the sheets before two months. Know what you want in a relationship. Write those things down. How do you know you’ll get all that within a short amount of time? We tend to project onto a person before we know them. Be open. Share your concerns. Ask questions. Communicate openly to avoid the surprises when someone is not a good match.

What is one step someone can take today to break their toxic patterns in relationships?

Look at your past and recognize the behaviors they’ve brought into the here and now. I give a life history questionnaire to my patients to find out what their past was like. By the time they come in, I know where I need to go with them. Ask yourself if you want to change. It’s not easy, but it’s possible to change.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Identify what you can and can’t live with. What can you and can’t you live without? Look for those qualities. Understand that it takes time for those things to come out. Set boundaries and be honest with them if you like them. M. Scott Peck said, “Love is the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” That’s what you want in a relationship!

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect with Joan

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanechilds/ 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joanechildslcsw/?_rdc=2&_rdr# 
• Website: https://joanechilds.com/ 
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joanechilds/

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

These 7 habits, based on the work of Stephen Covey, will help you become a better dater and find your best match. — Something unexpected happened recently—my son-in-law and I found ourselves deep in conversation about… dating. Not because he’s dating (he’s happily married to my daughter, thank you very much), but because he’s been […]

These 7 habits, based on the work of Stephen Covey, will help you become a better dater and find your best match.

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Something unexpected happened recently—my son-in-law and I found ourselves deep in conversation about… dating. Not because he’s dating (he’s happily married to my daughter, thank you very much), but because he’s been reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.

He’s seeing the world through new eyes, and watching someone get it for the first time is exhilarating. As we talked through Covey’s ideas, I realized something: every single one of these habits could be applied to dating.

So, with deep respect (and a little artistic license), here’s my take on what Stephen Covey might say—if he were a dating coach.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Daters

1. Be Proactive
You can keep blaming your parents’ marriage, your city’s dating pool, or the apps. Or you can take full ownership of your love life. Proactive daters don’t wait for the stars to align—they make intentional choices that lead to real results. No matter your past, you can create the relationship you want. It starts with you.

2. Begin With the End in Mind
Wishing for love is nice. But vision? Vision gets results. If you want a lasting partnership, what does that actually look like? Are you picturing companionship, shared values, someone to dance in the kitchen with you, a travel partner? Be specific. If you know where you’re going, it’s a lot easier to get there.

3. Put First Things First
Let’s be honest—if love is a priority, your calendar should reflect it. Are you carving out time for dating? Signing up for social events? Updating your online dating profile with care? If you’re only checking your dating apps once a week, love is going to feel like an afterthought. Make space for it. Make it matter.

4. Think Win-Win
Too often, dating feels like musical chairs. If she finds a good man, does that mean there’s one less for you? That’s a scarcity mindset, and it leads to jealousy, comparison, and fear. Have an abundance mindset. There are plenty of kind, available, emotionally intelligent people out there. When one person finds love, it’s proof that you can too.

5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Listening is a superpower in dating. But not the kind where you’re simply waiting for your turn to talk. I’m talking about real listening—with curiosity, patience, empathy and reflection. Too often, we listen through the filter of our own past. But when you tune in with fresh ears, you get to know someone for who they are—not who you assume they might be.

6. Synergize
Great relationships are not about sameness—they’re about complementing one another. When two people bring their full selves to the table, something magical happens. One plus one doesn’t equal two. It equals three. What does that mean? The synergy of what you each contribute can create something neither of you could have built alone. And yes, it can be as sexy as it is sacred.

7. Sharpen the Saw
Dating isn’t just about finding the right person. It’s about being the right person. Keep growing—emotionally, mentally, spiritually, socially. Be curious. Be alive. The best relationships are between two people who are constantly evolving and supporting each other’s growth.

And… the Bonus Habit

8. From Effectiveness to Greatness
Once you’ve found love—how do you nurture it? How do you keep the fire burning? This habit is about going beyond “it works” into “this is extraordinary.” Thriving together. Laughing together. Dreaming together. Don’t just maintain your relationship—elevate it.

Whether you’re new to dating or ready for your last first date, these habits are a powerful guide. I believe that when you date with intention, when you stay open and keep growing, you attract not just anyone, but the right one.

Let’s rewrite the story of dating—one aligned, empowered, highly effective habit at a time.

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If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find your person, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Waiting for him to ask you out? How long should you wait? 5-step guide to knowing when to follow up—or move on. — You’ve had a great phone call, the conversation flowed easily, and you both agreed you’d like to meet in person. Now comes the tricky part—waiting for him to actually set up that […]

Waiting for him to ask you out? How long should you wait? 5-step guide to knowing when to follow up—or move on.

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You’ve had a great phone call, the conversation flowed easily, and you both agreed you’d like to meet in person. Now comes the tricky part—waiting for him to actually set up that first date. How long should you wait before following up? And what do you do if you don’t hear from him?

Here are five smart tips to help you navigate this stage without overthinking or losing your cool.

How Long Should You Wait for Him to Ask You Out? (5 Helpful Tips)

1. Don’t Overthink It

The silence between “I’ll set something up” and the actual invite can feel endless, but try not to obsess. If he says he’ll set up a date this week, give him the benefit of the doubt. Rule him in until he rules himself out! Let a full week play out before jumping to conclusions. Remember: you’re looking for someone who communicates clearly, not someone who keeps you guessing.

2. At the End of the Week, Follow Up

If you haven’t heard from him by the end of the week, it’s perfectly reasonable to send a light, friendly message. Something like:
“Hey, just checking in to see if you’ve had a chance to pick a time to meet this week.”
This keeps things polite, low-pressure, and shows that you value your own time.

3. Pay Attention to His Response

If he responds and suggests a specific day or time—great! You’re moving in the right direction. But if he’s vague, non-committal, or doesn’t reply at all, that’s a red flag. His actions (or lack thereof) are telling you everything you need to know.

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Move On

If he doesn’t follow through, don’t stick around hoping he’ll change. You deserve someone who’s as excited to meet you as you are to meet them. Politely exit and refocus your energy on people who are genuinely interested. Instead of asking yourself what you might have done wrong that turned him off, ask yourself, “Why would I want to date someone who doesn’t follow through and keeps me waiting for a response?”

5. Stay Authentic

No games. No manipulation. Be genuine about your intentions, and expect the same in return. If someone is truly interested, they’ll make an effort to plan the date. Real interest is obvious—it doesn’t leave you refreshing your inbox or wondering where you stand.

Bottom line: Give him the week, follow up if necessary, and move on if the effort isn’t there. The right person will be thrilled to set up that first date—and you won’t have to chase them down to make it happen. Keep moving forward until you find someone who doesn’t keep you guessing and makes you feel confident and secure.

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If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find your person, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Jane Garnett traded her so-called perfect life for an authentic one. Listen to her story in this episode of Last First Date Radio. — Jane Garnett is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with nearly 20 years in practice and the author of the memoir, This Time with Feeling (May 2026). Her work focuses on […]

Jane Garnett traded her so-called perfect life for an authentic one. Listen to her story in this episode of Last First Date Radio.

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Jane Garnett is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with nearly 20 years in practice and the author of the memoir, This Time with Feeling (May 2026). Her work focuses on helping people get unstuck, particularly during life transitions where things look “right” on the outside but don’t feel aligned internally.

In this episode:

• That moment when you realize you need to let go of the “perfect life” to have an authentic life
• Why so many people feel stuck, even when they’ve done everything “right”
• How to tell the difference between a phase of discomfort and a life that truly needs to change
• Our “inherited scripts” and how they shape the lives and relationships we end up in

EP 715: Jane Garnett – Trading the “Perfect” Life for a Real One

Highlights from this episode

Authenticity & embodiment

• Authenticity = felt sense in the body; moments of “yum/peace/connection” indicate being in alignment.
• Many people confuse curated appearances (social media, careers, roles) with authentic living.
• Authenticity is an ongoing practice of uncovering childhood clues, dreams, and sensory pleasures.
• Balance between external expectations and inner truth: aim for “most true” rather than a single right answer.
• Mirror work, humor, and self-compassion help reunite with the body and reduce self-judgment.

Relationship choices: resonance vs. responsibility

• Decisions about staying or leaving should weigh two metrics: resonance (feels true in the body) and responsibility (willingness to accept consequences).
• Leaving isn’t inherently selfish; staying in misery models unhealthy behavior for children.
• Growth is ongoing; attracting a new partner often follows personal blossoming but doesn’t guarantee a problem-free relationship.
• Rewriting intergenerational narratives and addressing family atmospheres matter more than legal statuses (divorced vs. married).

Practical practices to reconnect and heal

• Small daily practices matter: sensory awareness on walks, creative micro-practices (20 minutes of art/writing), and “morning pages.”
• Embodiment techniques: body scans, mindful walking, dance, sensory play (touching leaves, smelling flowers).
• Rest and regulation: Yoga Nidra recommended for deep restorative rest and resetting when burned out.
• Therapeutic tools: attachment-focused EMDR for early-family patterns; mirror work for self-acceptance.
• Use micro-experiments to test choices (imagine scenarios in the body to see “yes” vs “no”).

Connect with Jane

• Website: https://jane-garnett.com
• Book landing page: https://thistimewithfeeling.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebananajane/
• YouTube: https://m.youtube.com/@thebananajane

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Submit your dating dilemma to be answered on my podcast https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, apply for a complimentary 30-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

If you’re in a relationship and asking yourself, “Should I stay or should I go?”, this episode is for you! — The age old question: should I stay or should I go. Well, you’re in luck, because my podcast guest, Sharon Pope, wrote the book on this subject! She’s a certified Master Life Coach and […]

If you’re in a relationship and asking yourself, “Should I stay or should I go?”, this episode is for you!

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The age old question: should I stay or should I go. Well, you’re in luck, because my podcast guest, Sharon Pope, wrote the book on this subject! She’s a certified Master Life Coach and Relationship Expert helping people get the tools they need to improve, heal, or release their struggling marriages. She’s a seven-time international best-selling author on love and relationships, including Stay or Go: How to Find the Confidence & Clarity You Need to Either Fix the Struggles in Your Marriage or Move Forward without Regret, which has sold more than 300,000 copies. She is host of the podcast, “The Loving Truth,” and her work has appeared in numerous media outlets and online publications, including the “Modern Love” column of The New York Times.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• The Five Words Killing Our Marriages Today
• How to Tell if Your Relationship Is Past Saving
• How to argue well
• Ways to Build Intimacy in Your Relationship
• Why Divorce Should Always Be an Option

EP 635: Sharon Pope – Should I Stay or Should I Go?

What are the five words that are killing marriages today?

“’Til death do us part”. When you’re married, there can be a big change as to how you treat your partner. Most people don’t continue dating and prioritizing relationships like they did before marriage. If you rest on your laurels and think you don’t have to nourish your relationship once you’re married, your marriage will probably fall apart.

How can you tell if your marriage or relationship is worth saving?

We’re taught love is easy. When it gets hard, that’s when your relationship begins. What makes it worthwhile are qualities like self awareness and personal responsibility for actions and words. Do you both have a growth mindset? Do you trust each other? How do you communicate? How well do you argue? Those are the qualities you should be looking at in your relationship.

How can people learn to argue well?

Begin with listening well. We can all get better at it. Use feeling words, and be willing to hear the other person. Get curious about what the other person would like from you. Own your triggers. Don’t make others responsible for tiptoeing around your triggers.

How can you build more intimacy in your relationship?

To create more intimacy in your relationship, you need trust and vulnerability. Be yourself and feel safe to do that. There should be a weekly meeting where you’re talking about your relationship. What’s working, what’s not, and where can we reach for a little more in our relationships. Make it a ritual. That’s a bond that you do together.

To create more spiciness, we need to tap into the part of ourselves that is desire – unpredictability and spontaneity. We need security/predictability and spontaneity to have a sexier relationship. Pay attention to that part of your relationship.

When asking yourself, “should I stay or should I go?”, why should divorce always be an option?

The goal is to be happy, but not picture perfect. If the relationship really isn’t working, there’s always the option to leave. There are going to be attributes in every partnership that are not loveable. And that’s okay. When one of you is no longer to take responsibility, it’s over. 

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

The most important thing anyone can do is equip yourself with relationship tools. You can’t be successful at anything in life without training. 

Connect with Sharon

• Website – https://www.sharonpope.com  
• Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/SharonPopeCoach 
• Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/sharonpopecoach/ 
• The Loving Truth Podcast  https://sharonpope.com/podcast/ 
• FREE Video Coursesharonpopefreetraining.com/

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Did you know that pelvic floor issues impact many women over 50? My podcast guest, Sara Reardon will help you get the help you need. — Pelvic floor issues are common but not normal. Help is available so women can take back their bodies, says board-certified pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Sara Reardon in her […]

Did you know that pelvic floor issues impact many women over 50? My podcast guest, Sara Reardon will help you get the help you need.

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Pelvic floor issues are common but not normal. Help is available so women can take back their bodies, says board-certified pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Sara Reardon in her new book, FLOORED: A Woman’s Guide to Pelvic Floor Health at Every Age and Stage (pub date June 10, 2025). Dr. Sara has built a robust community online as “The Vagina Whisperer” (664K Instagram followers; 13 Million TikTok Views) teaching women how to prevent as well as overcome pelvic floor issues at every stage of life with simple tips like “squeeze before you sneeze” to more advanced protocols to prepare for childbirth or navigate changes during menopause.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• How Sara became known as “The Vagina Whisperer”
• What is the pelvic floor, and what are the common symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction?
• What a woman should do if her doctor tells her her pelvic pain or leakage is essentially a normal part of being a woman, aging, pregnant, postpartum, menopause, etc
• Some of the most common pelvic floor problems and what women do to treat them
• Top tips any woman can do right now to take care of her pelvic floor
• Why there’s a stigma around talking about women’s health “down there”
• How pelvic floor problems evolve over time if left untreated
• How women’s partners can help them with their pelvic floor pain
• What a woman can do if she can’t find a pelvic floor therapist near her

EP 665: Sara Reardon – A Woman’s Guide to Overcoming Pelvic Floor Issues After 50

Why did you write FLOORED: A Woman’s Guide to Pelvic Floor Health at Every Age and Stage?

I never planned to be an author. People kept saying I should write a book as a resource for women. I got an email from a Harper Collins editor asking me to write the book. I wanted women to feel less alone in every stage of life.

How did you become known as “The Vagina Whisperer”?

I’ve been practicing as a pelvic floor specialist for 18 years. Over the past five or six years, there’s been more awareness on social media. I started sharing information with my girlfriends and patients. So, in 2016, I started my account “The Vagina Whisperer”, because women weren’t getting this important information. I wanted to give them tips and tools to help them understand their bodies and give them relief.

What is the pelvic floor, and what are the common symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction?

The pelvic floor supports your uterus, ovaries, your bowels, and for women, it affects menstruation and intercourse. If you have issues like urinary leakage, discomfort with bowel movements, or painful sex, it has to do with your pelvic floor.

What should a woman do if her doctor tells her her pelvic pain or leakage is essentially a normal part of being a woman, aging, pregnant, postpartum, menopause, etc?

Find a new doctor if you’re dismissed or minimized. You deserve to be treated with respect.

What are some of your top tips any woman can do right now to take care of her pelvic floor?

If you’re perimenopausal or menopausal, talk to your provider about topical estrogen, learn about the right lubes for more comfortable sex. Make your muscles stronger by knowing the proper way to pee – by letting the stream flow. For bowel movements, use a stool to relax and not strain. Pushing weakens your pelvic floor.

What do you think about the “big vulva” industry that’s booming selling women products like vaginal deodorant?

As we have more awareness of vaginal health, there are a lot of businesses that have released products that are for deodorizing vaginas. This is dangerous. It can put you at a higher risk for infections. If there’s a strong odor, get yourself checked for infections. There is a normal scent to vaginas.

How can women’s partners help them with their pelvic floor pain?

Knowledge is powerful. These are muscles and tissues in our body. If there’s pain, something isn’t right. If you had back pain, you’d tell your partner, too. First, understand where the pain is coming from. Second, ask your partner to help you. Do you need them to do yoga with you before sex? Use a lubricant? Communication is key. You’re not broken. It’s a WE problem, not a YOU problem.

What should a woman do if she can’t find a pelvic floor therapist near her?

You have a lot of options. Go to pelvicrehab.com or pelvicglobal.com or google to find a therapist near you. If you can’t find one, you can also do tele-health to get educated about your pelvic floor. I have an online exercise program. You can also buy my book to learn more.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

The most important work we can do is on ourselves. That’s where you’re going to find the most growth. When my husband and I were getting married, someone asked what I liked about him. A better question is, “do you like who you are when you’re together?”

Follow Sara Reardon

• IG https://www.instagram.com/the.vagina.whisperer/ 
• TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@thevagwhisperer

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

When only one person does the work, can a relationship last? That’s the big question we answer on this episode of Last First Date Radio. — The age old question: when only one person does the work, can a relationship last? Dr. Lee Baucom has spent over three decades helping people shift from a disconnected […]

When only one person does the work, can a relationship last? That’s the big question we answer on this episode of Last First Date Radio.

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The age old question: when only one person does the work, can a relationship last? Dr. Lee Baucom has spent over three decades helping people shift from a disconnected marriage to a loving and connected relationship, even if only one is trying.

In this episode:

• What is a Pause Button Marriage?
• What are the three levels of connection?
• What can only one partner do to save a relationship? 

EP 704: Lee Baucom – Can a Relationship Survive When Only One Person Does the Work?

Highlights of this episode:

Signs of a one-sided relationship

• If you’re dating and notice things are one-sided: carrying emotional weight is a yellow/red flag.
• Notice patterns within yourself in a long-term relationship that feels one-sided: stepping in unasked, always planning, feeling resentful.
• Hidden vs. stated contributions: partners often overestimate their input in a relationship.

Causes and dynamics of a one-sided relationship

• Childhood imprints (imago) shape who carries emotional labor.
• Mutual training: one partner may shut down the other’s attempts to help.
• Chaser–spacer dynamic: pursuing closeness often causes the other to distance.
• Pause-button effect: couples stop intentionally nurturing connection after commitment.

Ways to untangle and reconnect if you’re in a one-sided relationship

• Reality-test your assessment: are you missing the other person’s contributions?
• Reduce criticism; adjust expectations and make explicit agreements with each other.
• Pace reconnection: use invitations and light, low-pressure activities to reconnect.
• Target three connection levels: physical (touch), emotional (listening/validation), spiritual (values, hopes, fears).
• Small, steady increases in reciprocal behavior work better than big, pressured interventions.

Coaching vs. therapy and how to go on your last first date

• Marital therapy has limited statistical effectiveness; coaching can be more outcome-focused.
• Assess team compatibility (values, day-to-day functioning) when choosing a partner.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect with Lee

• Website: http://UnPauseYourMarriage.com  
• Podcast: http://SaveTheMarriage.com/podcast 

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How can you balance life and love? Dr. Margaret Cochran gives us actionable techniques to create more balance in your life. — How do you balance life and love? That’s what we’re discussing today on the podcast with Dr. Margaret Cochran. She is a transpersonal psychologist, licensed clinical social worker, educator, author, and media personality […]

How can you balance life and love? Dr. Margaret Cochran gives us actionable techniques to create more balance in your life.

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How do you balance life and love? That’s what we’re discussing today on the podcast with Dr. Margaret Cochran. She is a transpersonal psychologist, licensed clinical social worker, educator, author, and media personality with 25+ years of experience. She blends traditional, transpersonal, and energy psychology to help clients heal and thrive. Featured on BBC, CBS, NBC, and more, she’s known for her whole-person approach to wellness and hosting programs like Wisdom, Love and Magic.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• How to know when things are out of balance in a relationship
• Is balance really possible?
• How to balance life and love if you don’t have healthy examples in your life
• How to talk to your partner about balance
• Tips you can use to achieve balance between life and love

EP 679: Dr. Margaret Cochran – How to Balance Life and Love; Strategies for Success

How do you know when things are out of balance in a relationship?

We work too hard and we’re praised for it. We start to fall apart. If you’re well rested and satisfied, you’ll produce a much better product at work. And as an individual, we need to matter to ourselves first or we can’t be there for anyone else.

Stop, sit back, and take a second, and ask yourself, “What is it that I need?” It may take practice if you’re not used to it. Your needs are vital, not wrong or “needy” or self-centered.

Is balance really possible?

Balance is where there’s as much coming in as there is going out. As women we get pressured to put more out than in. Often women don’t know what they want. We lose ourselves, and then we can’t give or receive love.

How do you determine how to balance life and love if you don’t have healthy examples in your life?

Talk to a professional who can help you define your values and boundaries.

What are some actionable tips you can use to achieve balance between life and love?

Go back into your childhood when you were eight or nine years old. What was your favorite thing to do? Go do it and watch what happens. That touches the little person inside of you. It’s the part that gets ignored. That part of you that’s about being and not doing. It’s the most intuitive part of you. Fill a bowl with fun things to do.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Remember to date yourself first. Being in love with yourself will allow you to have a healthy relationship.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect with Dr. Cochran

• IGhttps://www.instagram.com/doctorcochran/
• YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@drmargaretcochran
• FB https://www.facebook.com/drmcochran
• TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@drmargaretcochran
• Websitehttps://www.drcochran.com/

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Why do high-performing men secretly struggle in love, and how can women spot the signs? Mike Elliot tells all in this episode. — Why do high-performing men struggle in their romantic relationships? My podcast guest, Mike Elliot, shares his wisdom in this episode of Last First Date Radio. Mike is a Relational Leadership Mentor and […]

Why do high-performing men secretly struggle in love, and how can women spot the signs? Mike Elliot tells all in this episode.

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Why do high-performing men struggle in their romantic relationships? My podcast guest, Mike Elliot, shares his wisdom in this episode of Last First Date Radio. Mike is a Relational Leadership Mentor and Men’s Initiation Guide. He guides men to lead with “Relational Authority”, anchored in initiation, integration, and inspiration. He’s the co-host of “The Sacred We”, where he helps men transform their relationships – starting with themselves – and create legacies of love, presence and purpose. 

In this episode:

• What led Mike to this work 
• The most common blocks for high achieving men in relationship
• How to help men show up with more presence
• How Mike’s clients relationships transform when they learn Relational Authority
• The cost of not learning RA

EP 707: Mike Elliot – Why High-Performing Men Secretly Struggle in Love

Highlights of this Episode

Catalyst for Mike’s work

• Mike Elliott’s personal catalyst for doing this work: adopted twice in his first year of life, marriage ended after 7 years; experienced a “dark night” that led to seeking mentorship and eventually began transformational coaching.
• Shifted from intellectual self-help to embodied, relational work after mentorship and integration.

Core framework & concepts of Relational Authority

• Three pillars: Initiation → Integration → Inspiration.
• Relational Authority: (VAR) Vulnerability (radical transparency), Acknowledgement, Reassurance.
• Emphasis on “bottom-up” embodiment: bodily felt sense, nervous-system regulation, and relational attunement over pure intellect.

Practical approach & client outcomes

• Reading/books alone are insufficient; guided relational work, mentoring, and men’s circles enable deep integration.
• We heal in relationships: safe presence and attunement allow processing trauma held in the body.
• Outcomes reported: improved relational reciprocity, emotional maturity, better partnerships, and more sustainable enjoyment of life/legacy.

Watch on YouTube

Connect With Mike

• IG https://www.instagram.com/mikeelliott.relating/
• Website https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/
• Masculine/Feminine Polarity Cheat sheet https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/newsletter+Freebie

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Have you thought about reinventing your love and life after 40? Wendy Valentine did, and here’s her inspirational story! — Wendy Valentine reinvented her love and life after 40. She’s the author of Women Waking Up: The Midlife Manifesto for Passion, Purpose, and Play and the host of The Midlife Makeover Show, a top-rated podcast […]

Have you thought about reinventing your love and life after 40? Wendy Valentine did, and here’s her inspirational story!

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Wendy Valentine reinvented her love and life after 40. She’s the author of Women Waking Up: The Midlife Manifesto for Passion, Purpose, and Playand the host of The Midlife Makeover Show, a top-rated podcast for women in midlife. After her divorce at 45, she learned to “marry herself” first—rebuilding her life from the inside out. Now she empowers women to embrace self-love, rediscover joy, and attract relationships rooted in authenticity and alignment.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• What it means to marry yourself before dating after divorce
• The FREEDOM Framework for transformation, and how to use it to heal from heartbreak
• How to design your ideal relationship and have an amazing life after 40

EP 694: Wendy Valentine – Reinventing Love and Life After 40

You’ve said that one of the best things you ever did was “marry yourself.” What does that mean, and how did that change the way you approached love and relationships?

When I was 45, I got divorced, was unemployed, $150,000 in debt, had chronic lyme disease, and I had a lot of losses at one time. I went through depression and panic attacks for the first time. I started over with everything and didn’t know how to begin. My saving grace was a dream to drive an RV across the country. I went for it, and despite all that I was dealing with, little by little, I took steps towards that dream. It took two years, and now, I’m living my dream.

“Marry yourself” is getting to know yourself. Most of us don’t know our values and what we want and need. Tune into your needs and wants. What does it mean to truly love yourself? Do the work before dating again.

In your book, you share your F.R.E.E.D.O.M. Framework for transformation. How can women use those steps to heal from heartbreak and open up to healthy love again?

After my divorce, freedom meant freedom from money issues, toxic relationships, etc. So I created the FREEDOM Framework, which are the seven steps I took after divorce to heal.

F: free yourself

R: reset your life

E: envision your new future

E: embrace and explore

D: detach from tomorrow

O: own your best self

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Make yourself your forever first date. It’ll all work out. Get to know yourself, take care of yourself. Leap and the net will appear.

Connect With Wendy

• Website: https://wendyvalentine.com 
• Media: https://wendyvalentine.com/media-kit 
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wendy_valentine_/ 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hellowendyvalentine/ 
• Substack: https://wendyvalentine.substack.com

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life