Category: Uncategorized

Why You Need to Stop Venting to ChatGPT During Your Divorce

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Stop venting to ChatGPT during divorce. Tune in to this episode to find out why this is a bad idea and what to do instead! — Do you vent to ChatGPT during your divorce? Kirk Stange is here to advise you about why this is a bad idea. He is the President and Founding Partner […]

chatgpt during your divorce

Stop venting to ChatGPT during divorce. Tune in to this episode to find out why this is a bad idea and what to do instead!

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Do you vent to ChatGPT during your divorce? Kirk Stange is here to advise you about why this is a bad idea. He is the President and Founding Partner of Stange Law Firm, PC. Since founding the firm in 2007, he has helped grow it into a multi-state law firm while overseeing strategic growth, operations, and leadership. A frequent legal educator and published author, Kirk has received numerous professional honors throughout his career.

In this episode:

  • Safe and productive ways AI can be used during divorce
  • Why divorcing spouses should think carefully before typing sensitive information into AI chatbots
  • The types of ChatGPT conversations that could potentially create legal complications in divorce proceedings

EP 722: Kirk Stange – Why You Need to Stop Venting to ChatGPT During Your Divorce

Highlights of this episode:

AI risks in divorce

  • Inputs to ChatGPT/AI are not privileged or confidential and can potentially be discovered in litigation.
  • Opposing parties can subpoena AI providers or find AI-generated content, though obtaining it may be costly and time-consuming.
  • Avoid typing admissions of wrongdoing, hidden assets, affairs, substance abuse, or any information that would harm your case.
  • Using someone else’s account or accessing their device can create legal/ethical problems (possible hacking).
  • AI can produce admissions that have been used by police/prosecutors in criminal matters — similar risks exist in family law.

AI benefits & safe use

  • AI is useful for drafting, improving tone, organizing custody/financial notes, and reducing hostile language in communications.
  • Helpful for people who struggle with writing or need immediate, between-session support.
  • To get useful output, provide complete and accurate context; AI only works with the input given.
  • Prefer using AI for neutral drafting and tone adjustments; avoid feeding sensitive or potentially incriminating details.
  • Privileged conversations (legal, medical, therapy) are better had with professionals who can protect confidentiality.

Privacy, social media & digital evidence

  • Social media posts, memes, party photos, or negative comments about the other parent can harm custody and credibility.
  • Parenting plans often prohibit speaking negatively about the other parent to children — public posts can violate that.
  • Consider minimizing social media activity during proceedings and avoid posts that could be construed as unstable or irresponsible.
  • AI searchability and industry encouragement to be more “searchable” is a risk; keep private matters off public-facing tools.

 Divorce process, mediation & practical advice

  • Divorce is often more complex than expected: property/debt division, custody schedules, child support, maintenance, attorney fees — all must be resolved.
  • Cases may agree on most issues but require 100% agreement to settle; unresolved issues lead to delay and court backlog.
  • Mediation can work but has pitfalls: court-ordered or attorney-less mediation may produce suboptimal outcomes; caucus-style mediation with attorneys often works better.
  • Beware “quick, cheap, flat-fee” solutions when children or significant assets are involved. Property division is largely non-modifiable.
  • Practical coping advice: choose an attorney who fits your goals, pursue counseling, stay positive, engage in productive activities, and avoid being all-consumed by the case.

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Connect With Kirk Stange

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Send me your dating dilemmas to be featured in an upcoming episode: https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, apply for a complimentary 30-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

The Shocking Psychology of Nice Guy Syndrome

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Nice guy syndrome: why trying to please everyone is making men weaker. Tune into the pod to learn more from the Therapy Brothers! — Why do so many men think being the “nice guy” is a good thing? Meet the Therapy Brothers, licensed clinicians and brothers Brannon and Tyler Patrick, redefining mental health and modern […]

nice guy syndrome

Nice guy syndrome: why trying to please everyone is making men weaker. Tune into the pod to learn more from the Therapy Brothers!

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Why do so many men think being the “nice guy” is a good thing? Meet the Therapy Brothers, licensed clinicians and brothers Brannon and Tyler Patrick, redefining mental health and modern masculinity. Through their popular podcast and clinical work, they break down complex psychological barriers into actionable advice on trust, betrayal, addiction, and emotional resilience. With humor, heart, and refreshing honesty, they tackle relationship dynamics, trauma healing, and the ‘why’ behind our habits. Get ready to dive deep.

In this episode:

  • How “Mr. Nice Guy” isn’t actually nice
  • Why men become the “nice guy”
  • How the nice guys can break the pattern of people-pleasing
  • The connection between nice guy syndrome and addiction

EP 712: The Therapy Brothers – The Shocking Psychology of Nice Guy Syndrome

Highlights of this episode:

What’s “Nice Guy Syndrome”?

  • Appears outwardly kind but is driven by extracting validation.
  • Inauthentic people-pleasing hides true self and creates resentment.
  • Not limited to men; manifests similarly in women as excessive self-sacrifice (“pleaseritis”).

Causes & Consequences of Nice Guy Syndrome

  • Rooted in shame, trauma, and low self-confidence learned in childhood.
  • Leads to secrecy, overpromising, underdelivering, anxious/overbearing intimacy, and potential for addictive coping or sudden anger.
  • Undermines real connection and can create unstable, unsafe-feeling relationships.

Recovery, Healthy Masculinity & Relationship Skills

  • Recovery requires self-knowledge, boundaries, vulnerability, and practice.
  • Healthy masculinity: know values, hold shape under pressure, be kind but boundaried.
  • Parenting and relationships benefit from consistent boundaries; safety comes from stability and authenticity.
  • Practical steps: practice small authentic choices (e.g., pick a restaurant), share real daily experiences, list and enforce boundaries, and seek coaching/therapy.
  • Dating red flags: love-bombing, fast intimacy, anxious scrambling to please.

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Connect with the Therapy Brothers

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Submit your dating dilemma to be answered on my podcast https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Protect Yourself From Emotional Vampires

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Emotional vampires will suck the life out of you. If you have people like that in your life, this episode is for you! — Do you have emotional vampires in your life? Daniel Ratner  is a relationship coach, speaker, and author helping people build healthier connections by recognizing draining patterns and setting stronger boundaries. A […]

emotional vampires

Emotional vampires will suck the life out of you. If you have people like that in your life, this episode is for you!

—

Do you have emotional vampires in your life? Daniel Ratner  is a relationship coach, speaker, and author helping people build healthier connections by recognizing draining patterns and setting stronger boundaries. A former entrepreneur turned personal growth expert, he is the author of Infinite Marriage and The Ten Secrets to a Passionate Marriage, with his upcoming book (January 2026) Emotional Vampires teaching readers how to protect their happiness from toxic people. Through his coaching, books, and public talks, Daniel provides clear, practical tools for improving self-esteem, cultivating “keepers,” and creating relationships that fuel joy.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • What is an “Emotional Vampire,” and how can someone tell if they have one in their life?
  • Why so many of us tolerate draining relationships far longer than we should
  • The most common categories of Emotional Vampires
  • How to set boundaries without feeling guilty or burning bridges?
  • Can Emotional Vampires change, or is it about learning how to manage them?

EP 684: Daniel Ratner – How to Protect Yourself From Emotional Vampires

What is an “Emotional Vampire,” and how can someone tell if they have one in their life?

We all have people who drain our energy. I created 12 categories. I have a whole chapter on family. The reason I wrote this book is we had a woman who my wife tried to help for years, and after many years, my wife realized this woman was a narcissist. We want keepers in our lives: People who are: Kind, peaceful, empathetic and respectful. Someone without envy and ego.

Why do so many of us tolerate draining relationships far longer than we should?

We don’t realize we have a choice to protect ourselves. One of my chapters is the “Friendship audit”. Sometimes, we have friends due to circumstance. If they now drain your energy, evaluate if it’s worth it. As you get older and wiser, you get to choose. If it’s someone you need in your life, how do you define healthy?

Can Emotional Vampires change, or is it about learning how to manage them?

Some of the categories are more dangerous than others, like narcissistic personality disorder. But a drama queen, someone who’s an oversharer can change. Also, the emotional constipated has a hard time sharing feelings. They can change, but it’s not easy. Women need to connect emotionally. Another category is the socially awkward. Social skills can be learned.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

On a first date, ask yourself: do you feel safe, seen, and do you want to see this person again? That’s all you need to know to go on a second date.

Connect with Daniel

Watch on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Become Sexually Empowered

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How do you become sexually empowered? My guest, Lauren Elise Rogers, a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator, guides us to be empowered! — How do you become sexually empowered? My podcast guest, Lauren Elise Rogers, is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coach Her holistic and embodied approach is deeply rooted in […]

sexually empowered

How do you become sexually empowered? My guest, Lauren Elise Rogers, a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator, guides us to be empowered!

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How do you become sexually empowered? My podcast guest, Lauren Elise Rogers, is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coach Her holistic and embodied approach is deeply rooted in her own pain-to-purpose journey. Lauren brings an empathetic and non-judgmental approach, offering practical tools that empower her clients to take ownership of their pleasure and grow in confidence and connection. She invites individuals and couples to navigate complex topics like long-term partnerships, consensual non-monogamy, life transitions, purity culture and LGBTQIA+ issues.

In this episode:

  • What is empowered and authentic sex?
  • How to build an empowered and authentic sex life
  • How to understand our sexual needs and desires

EP 657: Lauren Elise Rogers – How to Become Sexually Empowered

How would you define empowered and authentic sex? 

It’s a values aligned expression of your body oriented towards pleasure. We’re all motivated and driven by different things. We each have a right to know what those are so we can communicate in an empowered way what we want, so they can decide if they want to engage in a relationship with us.

What steps would someone need to build an empowered and authentic sex life? 

Notice, trust and value your intuition. Know your origin story. Where do your beliefs stem from from birth until now. What are the positive and negative beliefs? What roles do we take on in relationships? Locate the ways where we’ve grown already. Then label the negative beliefs that aren’t working for you anymore. Locate the body-based beliefs. They need a lot of love to heal. Then we introduce exercises that help with somatic experiences. How does my body feel in this space? We work with erotic imagination to bring out what is already there. That’s the foundation for what they love and desire so they can communicate what they want to a partner.

What got you into this work? 

I was married at 21. I was a virgin, raised in a courtship model, and I didn’t know myself. Days after my marriage, my mother died of pancreatic marriage. My then husband turned to alcohol and other forms of disconnection and abuse. A friend asked how I was. I got into therapy. My counselor suggested I set boundaries. My husband didn’t respect any of them, and I ended my marriage. But I didn’t know myself sexually. I wondered if there was an education program for holistic sexuality and sexual health. I realized I needed to start a business in this area, because if I had known these things, I would have had a much different life.

What do you mean when you say that “sex is not everything it’s just a part of everything”? 

When I began to learn about sexuality, I kept thinking it could heal the world. Sexual health is fundamental to everyone’s health. When we know our needs, wants and desires and can communicate them and respect others, I see the ripple effect. Sex is the origin to living a fulfilled life.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Know yourself. Become the first,  last and best lover to yourself. Introduce that person to your last first date.

Watch this episode on Youtube

Connect with Lauren

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Love Deliberately in Midlife and Beyond (Without Working So Hard)

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How do you love deliberately in midlife and beyond without repeating old patterns and working so hard? Tune in to this episode to find out! — How do you love deliberately in midlife and beyond? Alfina Lofaro is a kinesiologist, coach, author and speaker helping people build healthier relationships with themselves and others. Through Love […]

love deliberately

How do you love deliberately in midlife and beyond without repeating old patterns and working so hard? Tune in to this episode to find out!

—

How do you love deliberately in midlife and beyond? Alfina Lofaro is a kinesiologist, coach, author and speaker helping people build healthier relationships with themselves and others. Through Love Deliberately, she teaches self-awareness, communication, boundaries and compassion, drawing on more than two decades of experience and her own lived journey to help audiences connect with greater intention and responsibility.

In this episode:

  • How doing more in relationships impacts your relationship with yourself
  • Why we repeat relationship patterns while waiting for the other person to change
  • How COVID revealed the quality of people’s relationships
  • Why your body reacts when your mind wants to respond differently

EP 720: Alfina Lofaro – How to Love Deliberately in Midlife and Beyond (Without Working So Hard)

Highlights of this episode:

Kinesiology & coaching approach

  • Kinesiology (AU) described as energy modality combining traditional Chinese medicine and chiropractic; differs from US physiotherapy.
  • Alfina uses muscle testing to ask the body what it needs, set goals, and reveal unconscious patterns in priority order.
  • Focus on balancing the “triangle of health”: structure/function, biochemistry, mental-emotional.
  • Work is collaborative: kinesiology is “with you,” not “done to you”; body reveals only what the client is willing to address.
  • Practical aims: neutralize charged sabotage programs, create new neural pathways, define deliberate behaviors (boundaries, communication, reciprocity).

Repeating patterns, healing, and “loving deliberately”

  • Common root: childhood learning (e.g., people-pleasing, “earn love” belief) teaches behaviors that attract similar partners/situations.
  • Steps to change: awareness → neutralize emotional charge (kinesiology/acupressure) → choose new actions and practice them repeatedly.
  • Key coaching targets: clarify needs vs. wants, set boundaries, practice asking for/receiving support, learn forgiveness and trust skills (with practical how-to).
  • Age is not a barrier: examples of clients in their 60s–70s successfully shifting patterns and forming fulfilling relationships.
  • Metaphor: sabotaging beliefs act like charged magnets; neutralizing charge enables choice rather than automatic repetition.

COVID, dating, and relationship dynamics

  • COVID intensified daily exposure between partners, magnifying existing strengths and weaknesses (less external input → more “marinated” relationship energy).
  • Outcomes diverged: some couples imploded; others deepened connection or accelerated commitments; singles faced increased loneliness but more intentional dating.
  • Telehealth and online programs (e.g., Relationship Reset) helped people confront deficits in communication, conflict resolution, creativity in intimacy.
  • Practical takeaway: use intentionality in dating (ask “energizing or draining?” after dates), clarify needs, and use coaching/tools if patterns persist.

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Connect With Alfina

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Send me your dating dilemmas to be featured in an upcoming episode: https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, apply for a complimentary 30-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Overcome Limerence and Find Real Love

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How can we overcome limerence and find true love? Amanda McCracken wrote a fabulous book on this topic. Tune in to the pod to learn more. — Do you want to overcome limerence and finally have a healthy relationship? My podcast guest, Amanda McCracken, wrote the book on how to stop infatuation to find authentic […]

overcome limerence

How can we overcome limerence and find true love? Amanda McCracken wrote a fabulous book on this topic. Tune in to the pod to learn more.

—

Do you want to overcome limerence and finally have a healthy relationship? My podcast guest, Amanda McCracken, wrote the book on how to stop infatuation to find authentic love. She’s a journalist passionate about experiences that highlight the intersection of wellness, travel, and relationships. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Washington Post, Guardian, Vogue, and many others. She is considered a “limerence expert” and intimacy advocate. Her 2023 TED Talk, “How Longing Keeps Us From Healthy Relationships,” and her podcast, The Longing Lab, highlight how longing can become self sabotaging and shares how to change our patterns of longing. McCracken is also a part-time university instructor, massage therapist, triathlon coach, and competitive athlete. 

In this episode:

  • The key characteristics of limerence
  • Who’s most likely to be affected by limerence?
  • How limerence affects your everyday life
  • How limerence and love addiction are alike and different
  • How having ADHD predisposes one to having limerence
  • How the current dating scene/culture affects those that experience limerence 

EP 713: Amanda McCracken – How to Overcome Limerence and Find Real Love

Highlights of this episode:

Limerence: definition and personal backstory

  • Limerence = intense, obsessive rumination/idealization of a romantic interest; “crush on steroids.”
  • Can occur without a relationship starting; long-lasting “limerent objects” persist for years.
  • Amanda linked her long history of limerence to later ADHD diagnosis (hyperfixation, dopamine/anticipation-driven reward).

Causes and contributing factors

  • Potential roots: attachment disruptions, subtle childhood traumas, birth separations, eldest-child/perfectionist roles.
  • ADHD, social media, dating apps, hookup culture, and AI-enhanced interactions amplify uncertainty, intermittent reinforcement, and rumination.
  • Cultural myths (Hollywood chemistry) confuse anxiety-driven attraction with healthy love.

Healing and therapeutic approaches

  • Combine neuroscience (interrupt rumination / trigger-behavior-reward cycles) and somatic work (body-based emotional awareness).
  • Psychological work: build self-worth, challenge illusion of control, release blame, practice mantras (e.g., “I am ready for and worthy of a deeply intimate and loving relationship”).
  • Practical indicators of healthy partners: trust, consistent actions, care, curiosity, patience, emotional regulation, and reliable behavior (not just attraction).

Dating coaching, matchmaking, and practical dating advice

  • Dating apps and modern dating dynamics can fuel limerence; focus instead on long-term relational qualities (communication, conflict resolution, trust).
  • Beware of unqualified/overpromising dating coaches; look for experience, ethical practices, and evidence-based approaches.
  • For a “last first date”: do personal inner work, cultivate readiness (right person, right time, right you), and prioritize trust and consistent action over instant chemistry.

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Connect with Amanda:

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Submit your dating dilemma to be answered on my podcast https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

 The Surprising Reasons Why People Cheat

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Want to know why people cheat? My podcast guest, Paul Keable, the Chief Strategy Officer of Ashley Madison, shares insights on cheating that may surprise you. — Why do people cheat? As Chief Strategy Officer of Ashley Madison, Paul Keable oversees the strategic direction of the dating site, Ashley Madison, emphasizing discretion, authenticity, and innovation […]

why people cheat

Want to know why people cheat? My podcast guest, Paul Keable, the Chief Strategy Officer of Ashley Madison, shares insights on cheating that may surprise you.

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Why do people cheat? As Chief Strategy Officer of Ashley Madison, Paul Keable oversees the strategic direction of the dating site, Ashley Madison, emphasizing discretion, authenticity, and innovation within the dating industry. Under his leadership, the platform has implemented initiatives such as user verification through government IDs to combat fraudulent activity and build trust among members. As the platform continues to evolve, Keable’s insights remain central to its ability to adapt and resonate with its growing global user base.

In this episode:

  • Why do people cheat?
  • What constitutes cheating in a relationship?
  • How can cheating affect mental health?
  • How can affairs save marriages?
  • Are all affairs equal?
  • What is a modern relationship and what are the rules of one?
  • Should your affair remain a secret?

EP 654: Paul Keable – The Surprising Reasons Why People Cheat

The tagline of Ashely Madison is “Life is short. Have an affair.” Why do people cheat?

There’s a study about why men vs women cheat. They found that 80% of women cheated due to a sexless or orgasm-less marriage. They didn’t want to leave the marriage but wanted to have sex. They felt that the affair led to a better marriage and better life.

The reasons why men cheat are about emotional validation. We live in a world where men are told to be stoic and often don’t get the compliments women get. They’re looking for that validation. 

Why not open the marriage or speak about it with their spouse? Many people do talk about the issues and they’re not resolved. Also, divorce is expensive and carries other challenges people may not want to face.

What constitutes cheating in a relationship?

When we promise fidelity for life at the altar, we don’t always identify what cheating is. We need to define what monogamy and cheating is for you. Have a monogamy contract renewed every five years. Your parameters change over time.

How can cheating affect mental health?

Any adverse event in a relationship can affect mental health. How do we view the person who’s been cheated on? How do we view the cheater? If you’re in a sexless marriage with a spouse who doesn’t want to have sex anymore and you love them, what are your choices?

How can affairs save marriages?

If the affair doesn’t get discovered, it can have a positive effect on marriage. Sometimes, when there’s infidelity, it blows open the issues and forces couples to work things through.

Are all affairs equal?

Not all affairs are equal. There are people with spouses who can’t meet the needs of their spouse due to illness or other factors. An affair can fulfill sexual needs while you remain as a caretaker for your spouse.

Should your affair remain a secret?

It depends on the objective. Sometimes it forces hard conversations. We’re in the business of undisclosed affairs. Tell your affair partner what your intention is. We launched our business in the early two thousands when online dating was taking off. The office is our competition. Office affairs are often not a good place for affairs. CEOs with consensual affairs have been fired. It’s more risky.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

As a person who recently left a long marriage, start with the internal questions about your objective and intent in dating. What type of relationship do you want to be in? Who would you want to have that relationship with? What are the hard stops for you? Be clear about those things, and you’ll have a much easier time finding your match.

Website https://www.ashleymadison.com/

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find your person, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Why Successful Women Over 40 Struggle to Find Love

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Why do successful women over 40 struggle to find love today? Riana Malia tells all in this episode of Last First Date Radio. — Why do successful women over 40 struggle to find love? Riana Malia is an Identity Architect and Board-Certified Neurosomatic Practitioner. She rewires why love hasn’t matched the life high-achieving women have […]

struggle to find love

Why do successful women over 40 struggle to find love today? Riana Malia tells all in this episode of Last First Date Radio.

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Why do successful women over 40 struggle to find love? Riana Malia is an Identity Architect and Board-Certified Neurosomatic Practitioner. She rewires why love hasn’t matched the life high-achieving women have built, working below insight at the level where the choosing actually changes. She’s the founder of the Brilliance Brunch and author of The Last Piece on Substack.

In this episode:

  • The role of neuroscience is creating permanent change
  • Why high-achieving women need a different approach to love
  • Why understanding the problem isn’t enough
  • What makes love the one area where problem solving skills aren’t effective enough

EP 719: Riana Malia – Why Successful Women Over 40 Struggle to Find Love (And How to Change It)

Highlights of this episode:

Guest background & catalyst for the work she does

  • Riana Malia shared her personal story: early marriage and divorce, single parenting, relocation to California, financial betrayal tied to her father’s business, and later an abusive relationship.
  • Those cumulative experiences led her to seek a different approach to relationships and identity work.
  • She reframed her mission as helping high-achieving women clear unconscious patterns so they can create and claim fulfilling romantic partnerships.
  • Emphasis: insight alone isn’t enough — replace unconscious neurology and behaviors to stop repeating patterns.

Clear to Create method & practical techniques

  • Framework:Clear → Create → Claim; clear limiting stories and emotional charge first, then build new identity and behaviors.
  • Key concepts:
    • Most thought activity is unconscious (~90%); repeated negative thoughts reinforce unwanted outcomes.
    • Emotional “charge” accumulates over time (cellular memory); releasing it creates space for new outcomes.
    • Frequency/state matters: higher-frequency emotions (gratitude, love) attract different experiences than low-frequency emotions (shame, fear).
  • Away/Toward exercise (72-hour rewiring):
    • Use two sheets titled “Away” (what you don’t want) and “Toward” (what you want). Photograph/store lists for quick access.
    • Wear a firm rubber band for 72 hours. Snap it when you notice a negative/unhelpful thought, record the thought, then immediately replace it with a positive/desired feeling or a specific “toward” item.
    • If needed, use rapid grounding: 30–60 seconds visualizing sensory detail of the desired outcome, or a quick act of service to raise frequency.
    • Repetition rewires neural pathways; the exercise is designed to create fast shifts in 72 hours.
  • Quantum Time Release / charge release:
    • Technique to clear accumulated emotional charge without re-litigating past trauma; creates less reactivity to triggers so old stories don’t re-drive behavior.

Resources, outcomes & final advice

  • Riana reports rapid transformations in clients, including her own marriage after doing the work.
  • Diagnostic tool: Extraordinary Love Index (E.L.I.) quiz.rianamalia.com— 40-question assessment with a detailed ~25-page report identifying blocks across 9 areas (attachment, trauma, recognition, etc.).
  • Final guidance: You are not too late or too much; clear underlying patterns and replace them with new neurology/strategies rather than relying on more insight alone.

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Connect With Riana

  • Website: https://rianamalia.com
  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rianamalia/
  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RianaMalia
  • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rianamalia/
  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@rianamalia
  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rianamalia121
  • Substack: https://substack.com/@rianamalia

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Send me your dating dilemmas to be featured in an upcoming episode: https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, apply for a complimentary 30-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Stop Losing Yourself in Relationships

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If you want to stop losing yourself in relationships, listen to this episode with couples therapists, Robin Temple & Michael Moore. — Stop losing yourself in relationships! Married for over thirty years, Robin Temple and Michael Moore can help you have healthier relationships. They have led workshops and retreats for more than 1,500 couples and […]

losing yourself in relationships

If you want to stop losing yourself in relationships, listen to this episode with couples therapists, Robin Temple & Michael Moore.

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Stop losing yourself in relationships! Married for over thirty years, Robin Temple and Michael Moore can help you have healthier relationships. They have led workshops and retreats for more than 1,500 couples and have trained dozens of leaders in couples work. They provide retreats and coaching that delivers positive change quickly and predictably, providing couples with surprisingly rapid improvements in understanding and happiness.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • What couples need to know to be happy together
  • Why gratitude is so powerful for couples and a simple, effective way to practice it every day
  • What it takes for real listening to occur
  • How to encourage someone to speak up with confidence that their message will get through… without resistance or blow-back
  • What is the “Art of the Apology,” and how can it repair hurts or long standing issues that might otherwise seem impossible to overcome?
  • Some effective first steps for resolving an issue that feels “unresolvable”—like money differences or intimacy problems

EP 655: Robin Temple & Michael Moore – How to Stop Losing Yourself in Relationships

What inspired you to do the work you do, and what has helped you make it through the challenges of a thirty-year marriage? 

Robin: We both have been through divorce, and I was left with many questions about my divorce. I didn’t have a lot of self-awareness about why it happened. It left me wondering about how long-term relationships can endure. I had been a therapist, but I went back to grad school to learn about marriages. We teach what we need to learn. Michael and I had a strong connection, but I wasn’t sure how we could blend lives. We took our time.

Michael: We moved in for a summer as a trial. I thought it would be amazing, and it was difficult from the start. We weren’t hopeful. The hardest part was our differences around parenting. I thought it was most important to teach self-reliance. Robin was more about nourishing and encouraging creativity. We didn’t think we could figure out how to blend our lives. Eventually, Robin went on 24 days of training. The Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills program helped her learn what she could. I became intrigued by the program, and I joined her in the program. I was the only non-therapist there. For the first time, I felt Robin really heard and respected my point of view and that it was coming from a loving place. That was huge for us! We both became master teachers.

What do couples need to know to get along and be happy together without losing themselves?

Michael: You need other relationships in your life. Don’t only depend on your partner for every aspect of your life. Have other communities that your partner is not a part of. We have a quiz on our website which tests for key areas in your relationship. Respect is essential. Over time, learn what matters most.

Robin: We have a model called a ‘powergram’ to help them map out areas of responsibility and power. Where are you autonomous and where do you decide things together?

How do you encourage someone to speak up with confidence that their message will get through… without resistance or blow-back?

Robin: If the conversation is not going well, stop and take a break. Within an hour, suggest a time to get together within twenty four hours for a do-over.  Take turns talking and listening. Be empathic, even if you don’t agree. It’s not fair to just complain without making a request. 

Michael: Do simple mundane things that evoke positivity. Have a regular daily practice of gratitude. The more specific the better. So, when there’s a problem, there’s credit in your emotional bank. It’s also important to take turns. Both can’t be understood at the same time. The person listening only listens and offers validation at the end. Learn to ask for what matters. Own your part of the story.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Robin: While relationships seem mysterious and difficult territory, because our least mature and developed selves show up, know there are simple and powerful tools. With the right support, you can navigate change.

Michael: About seven years into our relationship, I developed an emotional infatuation with someone else, and I asked Robin to end the relationship and go on a provisional marriage for a while. It took a long time for us to not have long term grievances. We’ve been going on our first date for a long time. We don’t take each other for granted. Keep it fresh.

Connect with Michael and Robin

Watch this episode on Youtube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Rewrite the Rules of Dating After 50

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Why do we need to rewrite the “rules” of dating after 50? Enter Suzanne Noble, co-host of Sex Advice for Seniors! — What are the rules of dating after 50, and why do we need to rewrite them? Enter Suzanne Noble, a UK-based writer, speaker, and podcast host focused on midlife reinvention and sexuality. She […]

dating after 50

Why do we need to rewrite the “rules” of dating after 50? Enter Suzanne Noble, co-host of Sex Advice for Seniors!

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What are the rules of dating after 50, and why do we need to rewrite them? Enter Suzanne Noble, a UK-based writer, speaker, and podcast host focused on midlife reinvention and sexuality. She co-hosts Sex Advice for Seniors, a candid podcast challenging taboos around aging and intimacy. Suzanne is also the author of the erotic memoir The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker, exploring love, desire, and dating later in life.

In this episode:

  • The biggest myths about dating and sexuality after 50
  • How women can rebuild confidence when re-entering the dating world later in life
  • How online dating has changed the landscape for midlife relationships
  • What a “last first date” means when you’re dating with intention in your 50s, 60s, or beyond

EP 710: Suzanne Noble – Why We Need to Rewrite the Rules of Dating After 50

Highlights of this Episode

Dating and sexuality after 50

  • You can redesign relationships after 50 (living arrangements, non-monogamy, travel-based lifestyles).
  • Many reentering daters retain rigid “tick-box” criteria; recommend prioritizing only a few must-haves.
  • Know your values and shared vision early (short-term fun vs. long-term compatibility).
  • Confidence builds through practice, presentation (wardrobe/lingerie), and positive feedback from others.
  • Communication is the central skill for relationship and sexual health (asking for needs, setting boundaries, listening).
  • Shame and misinformation around sex in older age persist; open conversations reduce stigma.

Sexual health and safety

  • Regular STI testing, condom use, and explicit discussion of safety are essential — especially in non-monogamous or travel contexts.
  • People in alternative/lifestyle communities often follow stricter testing/condom norms.
  • Many older adults report clinicians not addressing sexual-health solutions (e.g., vaginal estrogen); self-advocacy with doctors is important.

Solo travel & meeting potential dates

  • Solo travel can be empowering; prioritize safety (use resources like Nomad List).
  • Use Facebook expat groups and Host a Sister to find local connections and reduce risk.
  • Dating apps (Bumble, Tinder, Feeld, FetLife) remain useful for meeting people while traveling.
  • Be open-minded; chance meetings while traveling can lead to lasting relationships.

Watch on YouTube

Connect with Suzanne Noble & Sex Advice for Seniors:

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

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