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How to Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test

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Learn the keys to lasting love in this podcast episode with Nick Brancato. Whether you’re single or partnered, this is for you! — Are you interested in unlocking the keys to lasting love? My podcast guest, Nick Brancato, is a personal development coach and educator with over 25 years of experience helping individuals and couples […]

lasting love

Learn the keys to lasting love in this podcast episode with Nick Brancato. Whether you’re single or partnered, this is for you!

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Are you interested in unlocking the keys to lasting love? My podcast guest, Nick Brancato, is a personal development coach and educator with over 25 years of experience helping individuals and couples connect, communicate, and thrive. With a master’s degree in education and a background as a Microsoft systems engineer, Nick blends practical tools with data-driven frameworks to guide people through life’s challenges, including career shifts, financial pressures, and personal growth. He’s also the author of Prioritize Us: Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test. 

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • Why so many couples experience a “priority drift” and how they can they prevent it
  • Some simple, actionable steps couples can start applying right away to realign priorities
  • Why individual self-awareness is such a critical component of alignment in relationships
  • How aligning priorities within a partnership ripples out to positively impact families and communities
  • The Total Difference Score (TDS) framework and its practical applications

EP 669: Nick Brancato – How to Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test

Why do so many couples experience what you refer to as “priority drift,” and how can they prevent it?

The “priority drift” is when two people have similar priorities at the beginning of a relationship, they begin to drift apart, and they don’t discuss their priorities until there’s a crisis. Discussing your shared priorities on an ongoing basis with check ins is key to a lasting loving relationship.

What are some simple, actionable steps couples can start applying right away to realign priorities?

Check in on your individual priorities. In the book there are ten core priorities in life. Rank them in terms of importance. Doing the assessment helps us focus on the top priorities and how we spend our time focused on our priorities. To avoid priority drift, check with your partner – small, medium, and large check ins. The rules are – No screens and no talking about other people. A small check in might be over coffee in the morning. Discuss decisions that you’re making. Ask each other what are your top three priorities on a regular basis. Be curious and open to understand each other.

Why is individual self-awareness such a critical component of alignment in relationships?

If you don’t know yourself, it’s impossible to know other people. You may think you know them, but you don’t. Know your priorities. List them, rank them, and ask yourself how satisfied you are with each priority. How am I using my time, energy and money in alignment with your values. In your relationship, that will be so impactful.

How does aligning priorities within a partnership ripple out to positively impact families and communities?

As you become more aligned with yourself and your relationship, you start to ask better questions of others. You become more curious and empathetic. You understand people’s motives. You communicate better.

Can you explain the Total Difference Score (TDS) framework and its practical applications?

The TDS score is the result of the Prioritize Us test. It measures the strength of your relationship and how aligned you are. It helps you learn to communicate better by ranking your 10 core  priorities, and your partner ranks theirs, and then comparing them. The TDS is your compared score. Once you know where you differ, you can communicate about them and improve your relationship.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Relationships take work, but you don’t have to have perfect alignment. You need small meaningful adjustments. Work on yourself and who you want to be in order to attract your last first date!

Watch this episode here on YouTube

Connect with Nick

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Trust Again After Betrayal

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How do you trust again after betrayal? Listen to this episode of Last First Date Radio and hear me coach a woman after a breakup. — Karen is a fifty-nine year old divorced woman who wants to know how to trust again after betrayal. She was in a four-year passionate relationship that recently ended when […]

trust again after betrayal

How do you trust again after betrayal? Listen to this episode of Last First Date Radio and hear me coach a woman after a breakup.

—

Karen is a fifty-nine year old divorced woman who wants to know how to trust again after betrayal. She was in a four-year passionate relationship that recently ended when he decided he wanted to work away six months of the year. They got back together briefly earlier this year, but the feelings were gone.  He also revealed that he slept with an ex and had lied about it, so the trust was also broken.

Six months have passed, and she feels ready to date again. She’s on a few apps and finding there are very few men she finds attractive in her age range. She wants to know where to find her last first date. Listen to the podcast to find out…

EP 638: Coaching Session with Karen – How to Trust Again After Betrayal

Highlights of this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • Why she took her boyfriend back after breaking up
  • Why she ended things in the first place
  • Some red flags she ignored from the start (he was married twice and cheated both times, he left because his wife didn’t want to go on a sailing adventure, he lied about having herpes)
  • She ignored the red flags because she was in a highly emotional state when she met him and needed the connection and attention
  • He reminds her of her birth mother who gave birth at 21 and was married to someone who wasn’t her father and was in prison at the time, so she gave her up for adoption. The similarities between the two of them are the ability to leave her and putting her needs first.
  • Both of her marriages ended because she ignored the red flags from the beginning.
  • Homework I gave Karen:
    • Ask a lot of questions upfront when you’re dating to assess if someone has your must haves and no deal breakers
    • Don’t excuse the inexcusable 
    • Assess availability right away by asking the right questions
    • Know that you can’t change people
    • Open your preferences to date people who live further away so you have more options of English speaking men who share your language and culture
    • Delay sex so you can think clearly when you’re dating

Watch this episode on YouTube

Have you ever felt betrayed by someone you dated? How did you learn to trust again? Please leave a comment and let me know!

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Become More Emotionally Available in Dating

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How do you become more emotionally available in dating? In this episode, we discuss some simple steps you can take today. — How do you become more emotionally available in dating? My podcast guest, Brooke Bralove, has the answers! She is a Psychotherapist, Certified Sex Therapist, and Master Accelerated Resolution Therapy Practitioner. She helps women […]

emotionally available

How do you become more emotionally available in dating? In this episode, we discuss some simple steps you can take today.

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How do you become more emotionally available in dating? My podcast guest, Brooke Bralove, has the answers! She is a Psychotherapist, Certified Sex Therapist, and Master Accelerated Resolution Therapy Practitioner. She helps women and men let go of perfectionism and move toward greater authenticity, joy, pleasure, and connection. She has been in private practice in Bethesda, MD for over 20 years.

In this episode:

  • What is ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy) and how does it work in relationships?
  • What are some common emotional blocks people carry into dating, and how do they show up?
  • How can past experiences or trauma impact someone’s ability to connect emotionally with a partner?
  • What are practical steps or exercises listeners can try to become more emotionally available?

EP 696: Brooke Bralove – How to Become More Emotionally Available in Dating

Can you explain what ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy) is and how it works in relationships?

ART is a treatment modality created in 2008 to take distressing images or feeling states and change how the brain stores them. It’s through bilateral eye movements, gestalt therapies, and image replacement.

What are some common emotional blocks people carry into dating, and how do they show up?

The three most common blocks are betrayal, feelings of not good enough, and rejection. I learned about ART after a terrible breakup. I did so many different therapies, and I was completely stuck. Someone told me about ART, and after two sessions, I felt neutral about the breakup instead of stuck. 

It works by taking the incident (learning your partner had an affair) that is playing over and over, you process it in your mind instead of talking about it, and you work through it like a scene in a movie. Paired with eye movements, you replace those images with positive images. Your body moves from having negative sensations to positive ones.

How can past experiences or trauma impact someone’s ability to connect emotionally with a partner?

We become emotionally dysregulated when we feel unsafe due to past trauma. You can’t form connections when you’re dysregulated. We have many tools for emotional regulation, such as self-run eye movements and EFT tapping. There are youtube videos with vagus nerve exercises to reset your system. We heal in safe connection. 

What are practical steps or exercises listeners can try to become more emotionally available?

Learn how to tell when your body is regulated. We need to teach ourselves what safe love feels like. Challenge your relationship to vulnerability. It’s a skill we can learn by practicing it, because we need it for deep connection, to be seen and known for who we are and be loved for our authentic selves.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Don’t dim your light or contort yourself to be liked. Find your inner spark and shine it. Learn how to regulate your nervous system. Be vulnerable. Stop following the same old patterns, and begin to feel good in your body. 

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect With Brooke

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship

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If you keep hunting for red flags in your relationships, stop! Dr. Isabelle Morley shares insights into the biggest problems with dating. — Dr. Isabelle Morley is a clinical psychologist, EFT-certified couples therapist, and author. She writes a blog for Psychology Today and has been featured in The New Yorker, The Boston Globe, Vox, and […]

hunting for red flags

If you keep hunting for red flags in your relationships, stop! Dr. Isabelle Morley shares insights into the biggest problems with dating.

—

Dr. Isabelle Morley is a clinical psychologist, EFT-certified couples therapist, and author. She writes a blog for Psychology Today and has been featured in The New Yorker, The Boston Globe, Vox, and more. Dr. Morley also serves on the founding board of the UCAN Foundation and provides couples therapy in the Boston area. We’re talking today about her new book, “They’re Not Gaslighting You”.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • Why we’re obsessed with words like “narcissist” and “gaslighting” in dating
  • How our relationships are affected by hunting for red flags and other ways we try to diagnose our partners
  • What to say if someone accuses you of having a psychological disorder

EP 666: Dr. Isabelle Morley – How to Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship!

What led to the uptick in therapy-speak, and why are we all obsessed with using clinical terms?

We can blame the internet and social media for the uptick in these terms. People had no idea what borderline personality and boundaries were. Now, everyone has access to this information. People have learned the wrong meaning for these words, and that can be harmful.

What’s the problem with people using therapy terms? Isn’t it good that people are more knowledgeable about things like boundaries and narcissists and hunting for red flags?

People use these terms accusatory and that’s not helpful. You have to make a choice in what you want to do and how you want to behave in relationships.

How are people’s relationships being affected by these clinical terms?

So much of your life can be changed by you instead of accusing others. If you’re encountering the same type of person over and over, ask yourself, what behaviors am I tolerating that I shouldn’t be?

How can people best respond to someone who has accused them of having a psychological disorder or exhibiting abusive behavior when they don’t think it’s justified?

One of the best ways to respond to a psychological term that doesn’t feel justified, is to not get defensive, because they will then reinforce that you are that thing they’re accusing you of. Instead, hear them, acknowledge that they must be really hurt to call you that. Let’s talk about it, because it’s painful and doesn’t help. 

Abusers use these terms to control the narrative. You’re the problem. Look carefully at whether they’re not willing to walk it back. That’s concerning.

How is misused or weaponized therapy-speak getting in the way of dating?

Gaslighting is a word from a movie. If you’ve truly been gaslit, it causes immeasurable damage. There are two major sources of harm: if you look for red flags, you’re going to find them. If you’re looking for narcissists, you’ll find them. You’ll also write off perfectly good partners for no reason. Don’t draw these conclusions without enough data. 

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

As hard as it is, lead with vulnerability and curiosity. Be open and don’t jump to self-protective labels. People are trying their best. Give yourself and others grace.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect with Isabelle Morley

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

The Surprising Reasons Why Men Pull Away After Early Connection

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Ladies, if you want to know why men pull away in the early stages of dating, you don’t want to miss this podcast episode! — Why do men pull away after early connection? My podcast guest, Johnny Fernandez, has the answer to this and many other dating and relationship challenges. He is a seasoned relationship […]

why men pull away

Ladies, if you want to know why men pull away in the early stages of dating, you don’t want to miss this podcast episode!

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Why do men pull away after early connection? My podcast guest, Johnny Fernandez, has the answer to this and many other dating and relationship challenges. He is a seasoned relationship coach with over 20 years of experience helping women attract lasting love. As co-founder of the Feminine Radiance and Courage Institute, he guides clients to deepen confidence, heal emotional patterns, and build meaningful connections through heart-centered support and proven strategies.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • ​​Why so many women experience men pulling away after what feels like a great initial connection
  • Common misunderstandings women have about men’s behavior during the early dating phase
  • What’s happening for a man emotionally or psychologically when he suddenly goes quiet or distances himself after seeming really into a woman
  • What to do if you feel confused or rejected when a man disappears or changes suddenly
  • What shifts when a woman learns how to respond in those moments of disconnection or uncertainty—rather than reacting

EP 668: Johnny Fernandez – Why Men Pull Away After Early Connection

Why do so many women experience men pulling away after what feels like a great initial connection?

Our approach is to look at masculine and feminine and what is affect and what is cause. We give women more credit and power over how the dating goes than most people. There’s a lot of preparation before dating to prevent men from pulling away. Largely, men pull away because of how they think, which is they put women in one of two categories early on: 1. She’s kind of fun for a little while, which rarely leads to marriage or commitment or 2. She’s different, I might be able to build a life with her. She needs to show up in communication as that second woman.

Are you showing up as the prize and distinguished? Do you know how to communicate with him to activate his masculinity switch? 

Draw in a different type of man. Distinguish yourself from the other options as a woman of high value.

Change your mindset from “I haven’t gone on enough dates”, which is exhausting and not intentional, to “I didn’t build my skills enough to draw in the right person”. In early communication, when a man asks, “Do you want to hang out?”, that’s a fork in the road moment. You say, “You mean like a date?” If he says anything other than “Yes, a date”, walk away. 

Men and women are not the same. Here’s how I see the masculine and feminine:

Masculine: He’s a protector, a provider, a leader who wants to love, cherish and adore her. That helps him become the best version of himself, the King to his Queen.

Feminine: She is the heart. She brings her feminine radiance, a lightness, warmth, and high value. It’s about how men feel in her presence. 

Can you explain what’s happening for a man emotionally or psychologically when he suddenly goes quiet or distances himself after seeming to be really into a woman?

She probably hasn’t flipped his masculinity switch to inspire him to show up in his a-game and build a life with her. He doesn’t want to be a better man for her.

What advice do you give women who feel confused or rejected when men pull away or disappear after they connected?

We don’t use the word ‘rejected’ because that assumes we know what’s happening in his head. Many times, it has nothing to do with her. However, there is some part she does have responsibility over. We focus on that. We work with her on busting her assumptions and what she can do to let him go. We look for a pattern to understand what her part is. With responsibility comes power.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Take your love life as seriously as you took your college degree and your career. Prepare yourself for a great relationship, for something completely different and better.

Connect With Johnny

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Why Pleasure is Essential to Wellness (and no longer taboo)

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Did you know that pleasure is crucial to our wellbeing? My podcast guest, sexologist Tugce Balik, dives deeper into this topic! — Tugce Balik believes that pleasure is essential to our wellness. She blends Western science with Eastern traditions to help people heal, reconnect, and feel at home in their bodies and with each other. […]

pleasure

Did you know that pleasure is crucial to our wellbeing? My podcast guest, sexologist Tugce Balik, dives deeper into this topic!

—

Tugce Balik believes that pleasure is essential to our wellness. She blends Western science with Eastern traditions to help people heal, reconnect, and feel at home in their bodies and with each other. She’s a certified Tibetan Tantra practitioner and an American Board-Certified Sexologist with a focus on healing through embodiment. Her approach is gentle, empowering, and rooted in deep care. To her, pleasure isn’t something you earn. It’s your birthright, your medicine, and her work at Arya helps couples remember exactly that.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • Why pleasure is moving from taboo to essential wellness
  • Why 57% of couples can’t talk about sex—and practical ways to bridge that divide
  • How intimacy impacts stress, hormones, and overall relationship satisfaction
  • How technology can help couples approach once-uncomfortable conversations 
  • Arya’s Erotic Personas and how they can help partners understand each other

EP 686: Tugce Balik – Why Pleasure is Essential to Wellness (and no longer taboo)

Why do you think pleasure is moving from taboo to essential wellness?

We’re in the second wave of the wellness movement. First we were taking care of our bodies and our personal care. Now, we understand our sexuality is a huge part of our whole self. We can’t just separate them. Many of us have had sexual trauma or taboo in our past. That’s why I’m so passionate about helping people see how important pleasure is.

Why do 57% of couples struggle to talk about sex—and what are practical ways to bridge that divide?

Do we know ourselves well enough to communicate our needs and desires. Begin with the connection you have with each other. Schedule time with your partner. Be present with each other and create safety in each other’s bodies. Sit across from each other, breathe together, gaze into each other’s eyes, and coregulate. Then, you can have a hard conversation. Frame it as an invitation with curiosity. We have an intimacy deck of cards that help the conversation. 

If you’re in the middle of sex and you don’t like something, pause, start with appreciation first and then guide them to what would make it even better. You can use your hand or their hand to show them what you like. You can also demo it on their body.

For anyone entering a relationship later in life, how can we deal with post-menopause issues or erectile dysfuntion?

Have a conversation before sex to explain what you need to have more pleasure. Talk about lube and whatever else you need. More pauses and breaks? And with men who have erectile dysfunction, there are many causes, and it happens at all ages. It’s important first to find out the root cause of the dysfunction. If it’s physical, you can work with a pelvic floor specialist or talk to your doctor about what you can do. If you’re going through stress, your hormones are affected.

Also, what does your self-pleasure routine look like? That impacts how you have sex. Cultivate a pleasure routine that’s not just centered on orgasm. 

How does technology help couples approach once-uncomfortable conversations? 

Everyone has different intimacy languages. Technology helps identify their play styles and erotic desires. The more information we have, the better it is. When you know your patterns, you can explore more. We give monthly guided experiences to couples based on their patterns and personas.

What are Arya’s Erotic Personas and how do they help partners understand each other? 

The categories are: The romantic prioritizes intimacy and connection, focuses on the journey. The directors enjoy more spontaneous sex, straightforward, goal oriented towards orgasm. The connectors prioritize sensuality and stimulation. The adventurers are into kink and variety.

The pairings are interesting, and it’s also good to see that we’re not always what we thought we were.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Recenter yourself rather than centering on the other person. Be less hyper-focused on what they think of you, and focus more on how you’re feeling in the presence of the other person. Ask, “What does this person bring out in me?”

Connect with Tugce:

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Stop Second-Guessing Yourself in Dating: 5 Ways to Build Confidence

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If you’ve been second guessing yourself in dating, these tips will help you learn to trust your instincts and build confidence! — If you’ve ever walked away from a date replaying every word you said, wondering if you should’ve done something differently—you’re not alone. Dating can bring up a lot of self-doubt, but second-guessing yourself […]

second-guessing

If you’ve been second guessing yourself in dating, these tips will help you learn to trust your instincts and build confidence!

—

If you’ve ever walked away from a date replaying every word you said, wondering if you should’ve done something differently—you’re not alone. Dating can bring up a lot of self-doubt, but second-guessing yourself only keeps you stuck.

The truth? You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to trust yourself. Here’s how to stop overthinking and start dating with confidence.

5 Ways to Stop Second-Guessing and Build Confidence

1. Recognize and Acknowledge Your Thoughts

The first step is noticing when you’re spinning in circles. Pay attention to those “What if?” or “Maybe I shouldn’t have…” thoughts. Then ask yourself: Am I afraid of making a mistake, or am I just being hard on myself? Awareness is powerful—it helps you separate real concerns from unnecessary self-criticism.

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Your brain loves to tell stories that aren’t true. Question those assumptions. Is there actual evidence, or are you just filling in the blanks? And remember—there’s no such thing as “perfect” in dating. Be kind to yourself. When you catch your mind spiraling, gently shift your focus to something positive or productive.

3. Trust Your Intuition

Your gut is wiser than you think. Start small: trust yourself with everyday choices, and you’ll build confidence for the bigger ones—like who to date and when to walk away. And once you make a decision, stop analyzing it to death. Assume you made the best choice you could in that moment, and move forward.

4. Learn from Your Experiences

Dating is a learning curve. Instead of beating yourself up over past choices, reflect on what you can take away from them. Growth matters more than perfection. Every experience—good or bad—is practice for building the love life you want.

5. Seek Support

You don’t have to do this alone. Talk to friends who remind you of your worth. If you’re feeling stuck, therapy or coaching can give you tools to quiet the self-doubt. And mindfulness? Total game-changer. It helps you see your thoughts without getting tangled up in them.

Second-guessing yourself won’t get you closer to love—but self-trust will. Every time you choose to back yourself instead of doubting yourself, you’re building the kind of confidence that attracts the right people. So take a deep breath, trust your gut, and remember: the right person won’t require you to question yourself—they’ll make you feel sure.

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find your person, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Celebrating Those Who Are Happily Single

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There are many people who are happily single. We celebrate the single lifestyle in this episode! — Dr. Bella DePaulo is the leading expert on single life, and her TEDx talk on the topic now has more than 1.6 million views. She received her PhD from Harvard, spent two decades as a psychology professor at […]

happily single

There are many people who are happily single. We celebrate the single lifestyle in this episode!

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Dr. Bella DePaulo is the leading expert on single life, and her TEDx talk on the topic now has more than 1.6 million views. She received her PhD from Harvard, spent two decades as a psychology professor at the University of Virginia, and is an academic affiliate at UC Santa Barbara. She is the author of SINGLE AT HEART.

In this episode:

  • The definition of “single at heart”
  • Why people who are single at heart love being single so much
  • Doesn’t everyone want to have a romantic partner? 
  • The positive benefits of embracing a single life 
  • Reactions to the Single at Heart book

EP 703: Dr. Bella DePaulo – Celebrating Those Who Are Happily Single 

What does “single at heart” mean?

We love our single lives. We are happy and flourishing because we’re single. I dated in the past, and I don’t have any horror stories. And when each relationship ended, I was so happy to get back to my single life.

Why do the single at heart love being single so much?

They love their solitude and freedom and connection with their friends. They have a life they love. They choose the life they want.

Doesn’t everyone want to have a romantic partner?

No, not everyone wants a romantic partner. Some people don’t want to be married, especially not unhappily married. You can have friends with benefits or find other ways to have intimacy.

What are the positives of embracing a single life? Are there statistical or personal benefits?

Your friendships are valued more. You appreciate your solitude. You do what you want without being judged. You won’t be lonely if you like your solitude. It’s a sign of emotional maturity.

What kinds of reactions have you gotten to your Single at Heart book?

In the first couple of weeks after the publish date, I got hundreds of messages and emails and even snail mail. People felt validated. They felt like they found a home.

What are your final words about being single at heart?

Live your single lives fully, joyfully, and unapologetically.

Connect with Bella

  • X: @belladepaulo
  • Bluesky: @belladepaulo.bsky.social 
  • IG: @bellasingleatheart
  • FB: @singleatheartbook  @belladepaulo
  • YouTube: @BellaDePaulo
  • Website: https://belladepaulo.com/

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Why We Fall For People We Can’t Have

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Many of us fall for people we can’t have. In this episode, you’ll learn why we do that, and how we can start falling for people we CAN have. — Have you ever fallen for someone who was in a relationship, married, lived too far away — someone who was not available for a relationship? […]

people we can't have

Many of us fall for people we can’t have. In this episode, you’ll learn why we do that, and how we can start falling for people we CAN have.

—

Have you ever fallen for someone who was in a relationship, married, lived too far away — someone who was not available for a relationship? Listen to this episode with my son, Max, and learn why we fall for people we can’t have.

EP 677: Why We Fall For People We Can’t Have

Why We Fall For People We Can’t Have

  • We perceive what we can’t have as having more value
  • We like the challenge of trying to chase what we can’t get
  • We have self esteem or trust issues
  • We have fear of commitment
  • We didn’t expect things to be like this because they gave us all the right signals
  • We convinced ourselves this person was our only or best option

How to avoid falling for people you can’t have

  • Stop believing it’s the only person you can have
  • Get the confidence and social skills to meet people anywhere
  • Open up all your options, so you stop focusing on people who are not available

Watch this episode on YouTube

Have you ever fallen for someone you couldn’t have? Please share your story below.

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Getting Clear About What You Want in Dating

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Without clarity, how do you know what you want in dating? In this episode, learn how to clarify your dating wants and needs. — What if you could get clear about what you want in dating? My podcast guest, Tracey Gee, is the author of The Magic of Knowing What You Want. She’s a certified […]

what you want in dating

Without clarity, how do you know what you want in dating? In this episode, learn how to clarify your dating wants and needs.

—

What if you could get clear about what you want in dating? My podcast guest, Tracey Gee, is the author of The Magic of Knowing What You Want. She’s a certified leadership coach and consultant and a sought-after speaker and facilitator nationwide. She helps people learn more about themselves and their unique sense of meaning and purpose. She feels honored to have worked with a breadth of incredible individuals and organizations, including UC Berkeley, the Miami Heat, and Coca-Cola, but her great ambition in life remains to pet as many dogs as possible.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • How to discover what you want in dating
  • A practical exercise on uncovering your authentic desires in dating
  • After you have clarity about what you want, what actions to take

EP 647: Tracey Gee – Getting Clear About What You Want in Dating

What inspired you to write a book on helping others discover what they really want?

I’m trained as a leadership coach and consultant, and the tools I was trained in are wonderful for building self-awareness, but they didn’t cover the next step, which is what you really want. People were confused or ashamed or scared that they didn’t know the answer to that question. Women often struggle with this, as they are always tuned into what other people want.

What are some steps to help you uncover what you want in dating?

  1. Give yourself permission to want what you want. Don’t judge yourself. If you’re a ‘good girl’, you’re not selfish, you focus on others. Don’t wait for permission to be given.
  2. Notice the types of questions that come up when you ask yourself what you want. We can stay in a ‘desire fog’ because we don’t make space to have what we want.
  3. Create room to explore. Try things out. 

What is one practical exercise we can use today to help uncover our authentic desires when it comes to dating?

Look back on your life and experiences for how you’re uniquely wired. What worked, and what didn’t work? This will help you understand what you want and need to find the right fit for you. Calibrate to your own inner compass.

When people have clarity in dating, what actions can they take that will lead to what they truly desire?

Do an ‘experiment map’. Explore what dating could look like by meeting people in different ways. Map it out like a mind map. It’s a clear and flexible way to meet someone. Map potential paths, and what you’d need to do to execute that plan. What feels most exciting? Try it!

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Ask yourself “How do I want dating to feel when I’m dating?” Be an explorer. Be lighter and more playful. Find your unique joyful way to date.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect With Tracey

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

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