Breakup Recovery: How to Heal From a Breakup and Date Again

How do you heal from a breakup and when do you begin to date again? Learn about breakup recovery on the podcast with breakup coach, Cole Zesiger. — Cole Zesiger is a breakup and relationship coach specializing in breakup recovery, dating advice, and relationship coaching. After a divorce at 23 and another breakup soon after, […]

heal from a breakup

How do you heal from a breakup and when do you begin to date again? Learn about breakup recovery on the podcast with breakup coach, Cole Zesiger.

Cole Zesiger is a breakup and relationship coach specializing in breakup recovery, dating advice, and relationship coaching. After a divorce at 23 and another breakup soon after, he began sharing his journey on social media—growing to over 750,000 followers across Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and more.  He has coached 2,000+ people through heartbreak, helping them either rekindle relationships in a healthy way or move on with peace. His practical approach blends psychology, attachment theory, and real-world strategies to guide people from heartbreak to healing.  When not coaching, Cole enjoys time with his wife and daughter, playing guitar, dirt biking, and exploring the mountains. His debut book, Ex’s and No’s: The Breakup Advice You Don’t Want to Hear, offers a proven roadmap to rebuild self-worth, master communication, and create healthy, lasting love.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio

  • What keeps people from moving on after breaking up?
  • Do you really need closure after a breakup?
  • Is it ever a good idea to get back together?
  • How do attachment styles affect breakups?
  • Should you accept friendship right after a breakup?

EP 691: Cole Zesiger – Breakup Recovery: How to Heal From a Breakup and Date Again

What keeps people from moving on after breaking up?

Three things need to be present in order to move on. 1. There has to be a narrative that it makes sense that the relationship is over. 2. Life has to be at least as good in the present as it was in the past. 3. You need proof that love exists in the world, that you’re capable of feeling attraction again. It could be going on dates or joining social groups. 

We give mental energy to things that are unclosed in our lives, especially when we don’t know why. This applies to breakups. With a breakup, if you feel you can’t get closure, try to see the bigger picture and how it led you to where you are today. Look at what you’ve gained, what you’re grateful for, and how the skills you gained led you to become who you are today.

Is it ever a good idea to get back together with an ex?

In a calm moment, write down three to five things  that you’d need to see change in your partner for the relationship to work. The list has to be understood by a seven year old. Specific. Actionable, and measurable.

How do attachment styles affect breakups?

Secure attachment: Grieves the loss of that person, but believes they are worthy of love. They focus on what’s in their control quickly.

Anxious attachment: Denial. Love exists, but I need to get my ex back. I will mold into anything I can to be loved. They also grow a lot.

Avoidant attachment: I’m good enough. Love can hurt me so I have to keep it far away. They jump right into dating apps again and it comes back to bite them soon after. They avoid healing.

Disorganized attachment. They usually have off and on relationships. Switch to open relationships, to situationships.

Should you accept friendship right after a breakup?

Right after a breakup if one person has feelings, it makes it difficult to be friends. If you have moved on and want to be friends later on, that’s different. Most people beg for friendship, or the one who’s leaving will offer friendship as consolation. Anxiously attached people tend to accept friendship and hope the other person will begin to fall back in love eventually.

People go through the breakup loop of doom by staying friends. Eventually, one partner does something that gives the other hope that they will get back together. It’s a vicious cycle.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Build a life you’re fulfilled by before bringing someone into it. It can go too far if you’ve built such an established life that you don’t want to break routines. But, when you have a full life with a mission and meaning bigger than yourself and bring someone else into it, you’ll have an easier time with dating and relationships.

Connect With Cole

Watch this episode on YouTube


Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Rethink Our Approach to Modern Dating After 40

Is modern dating broken? Emma Smith says NO, we just need to rethink our approach to dating in the 21st century. — Is modern dating broken? My podcast guest, Emma Smith, is a licensed therapist who specializes in trauma, sex therapy, and LGBTQ+ healthcare. A former military consultant, she has been an advocate for LGBTQ+ […]

Is modern dating broken? Emma Smith says NO, we just need to rethink our approach to dating in the 21st century.

Is modern dating broken? My podcast guest, Emma Smith, is a licensed therapist who specializes in trauma, sex therapy, and LGBTQ+ healthcare. A former military consultant, she has been an advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and sexual assault survivors. She writes The Intimate Philosopher on Substack, and in her free time loves reading, running, crafting, and all things sparkly.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • The biggest myths about attraction and intimacy
  • The outdated dating advice people should ignore and what to focus on instead
  • How the unspoken “rules” impact dating and how people can break free from them
  • How people can cultivate more meaningful and fulfilling connections without feeling overwhelmed
  • A practical mindset shift or piece of advice to rethink our approach to love and intimacy

EP 662: Dr. Emma Smith – How to Rethink Our Approach to Modern Dating After 40

What are some of the biggest myths in modern dating about attraction and intimacy?

One myth is that we mistake chemistry for compatibility and comfort for connection. Neither is a good indicator for safety and depth. Just because you’re drawn to someone in the beginning doesn’t mean your lives will work together in the long run. Go on two dates minimum to see who you both are. Don’t look for the bonfire of sparks. Another myth is that intimacy is about closeness, but it’s also about space. Space to long for and be separate to get together. The final myth is that men only want sex and women only want love.

What outdated dating advice should people ignore, and what should they focus on instead?

Let go of the belief that texting too soon is too eager. We need to stop punishing availability. Let the other person that you had a great time and would love to see each other again soon.

Another dating “rule” is that it’s a woman’s job to be wanted, but she’s not supposed to ask for what she wants. You get to choose. Desire doesn’t bloom in control. It blooms in presence and authenticity. 

Ask yourself where this person is going to fit into your life. What do you need to share on a first or second date? Facts, a bit about your personality, but not your darkest secrets. Some things remain private. As you date more, ask what they do for fun, what type of vacationer are they? As you get to know them better and are ready for sex, share about your STIs and sexual preferences. 

What’s one practical mindset shift or piece of advice to rethink our approach to love and intimacy?

One mindset shift is that love isn’t something you earn, it’s something you co-create with another person. Ask yourself, what kind of love do I want to build with someone else? 

Another one is to make space for contradictions. That tension is something to be aware of. Don’t put yourself into a box to make yourself more likeable. Friction is helpful in a relationship.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

I encourage people to think about the things they value and like about themselves. When you go on a date, focus on those parts of you and the fact the person who’s right for you will like those special qualities that you have.

Connect With Emma

Watch this episode on Youtube


Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs and Perfectionism

If you want to overcome your limiting beliefs and perfectionism, this episode of Last First Date Radio is for you! — Do you have limiting beliefs? Are you a perfectionist? My podcast guest, Kamini Wood, is here today to speak about these topics. She is a certified life coach, speaker, and bestselling author who helps […]

overcome limiting beliefs

If you want to overcome your limiting beliefs and perfectionism, this episode of Last First Date Radio is for you!

Do you have limiting beliefs? Are you a perfectionist? My podcast guest, Kamini Wood, is here today to speak about these topics. She is a certified life coach, speaker, and bestselling author who helps high achievers overcome anxiety, perfectionism, and limiting beliefs to rediscover their authentic selves. As the founder of the AuthenticMe® method and CEO of Live Joy Your Way, she empowers individuals to build self-awareness, set boundaries, and create fulfilling, balanced lives.

In this episode:

  • Where do our limiting beliefs stem from?
  • How can people overcome limiting beliefs, especially when it holds them back from dating?
  • How does perfectionism sabotage our love lives, and how can people begin to overcome their need to be perfect?
  • How can our careers contribute to our self-sabotaging habits, and how does this show up in our romantic relationships?
  • How can people balance their love life and work?

EP 653: Kamini Wood – How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs and Perfectionism

Where do our limiting beliefs stem from?

I see them as narratives that come from our families of origin or experiences we’ve had throughout our lives. Some common ones are “I’m not enough” “I’m not lovable”.

How can people overcome limiting beliefs, especially when it holds them back from dating?

Naming your limiting beliefs is the first step. Get curious with yourself. Recognize the stories you’re telling yourself. If you have fear, complete the thought loop. What’s your fear? What’s true? What’s the evidence I have today to support this belief?

Once you identify the truth, ask yourself what you want to do about it. What action will you take?

How does perfectionism sabotage our love lives, and how can people begin to overcome their need to be perfect?

Perfectionism can hold us back because we might expect our partner to be perfect. We create unspoken expectations. That leads to resentment. If we hold ourselves to a high standard, we can be held back. Perfectionists struggle when a relationship is not working, and they are afraid of failure, and afraid to leave a relationship for that reason. It can keep us from being honest with what you truly need.

How can our careers contribute to our self-sabotaging habits, and how does this show up in our romantic relationships?

If you’re a perfectionist, work is a place where you get a lot of meaning and enoughness. You might put more energy into work, which can leave you drained and unable to put energy into your love life. There’s certainty in your work life, but less certainty in your love life. How can you find balance? Ask yourself what about work makes you feel safe and good? If you have a fear of rejection and not being accepted in dating, ask yourself what’s the worst case scenario your mind is telling you? Then ask yourself what you will do.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Give yourself permission to be present for the process and allow it to be what it is. Give yourself grace. Pay attention to the stories you tell yourself. Be you and be present. Just focus on making a connection.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect With Kamini


Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Rewrite the Rules of Dating After 50

Why do we need to rewrite the “rules” of dating after 50? Enter Suzanne Noble, co-host of Sex Advice for Seniors! — What are the rules of dating after 50, and why do we need to rewrite them? Enter Suzanne Noble, a UK-based writer, speaker, and podcast host focused on midlife reinvention and sexuality. She […]

dating after 50

Why do we need to rewrite the “rules” of dating after 50? Enter Suzanne Noble, co-host of Sex Advice for Seniors!

What are the rules of dating after 50, and why do we need to rewrite them? Enter Suzanne Noble, a UK-based writer, speaker, and podcast host focused on midlife reinvention and sexuality. She co-hosts Sex Advice for Seniors, a candid podcast challenging taboos around aging and intimacy. Suzanne is also the author of the erotic memoir The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker, exploring love, desire, and dating later in life.

In this episode:

  • The biggest myths about dating and sexuality after 50
  • How women can rebuild confidence when re-entering the dating world later in life
  • How online dating has changed the landscape for midlife relationships
  • What a “last first date” means when you’re dating with intention in your 50s, 60s, or beyond

EP 710: Suzanne Noble – Why We Need to Rewrite the Rules of Dating After 50

Highlights of this Episode

Dating and sexuality after 50

  • You can redesign relationships after 50 (living arrangements, non-monogamy, travel-based lifestyles).
  • Many reentering daters retain rigid “tick-box” criteria; recommend prioritizing only a few must-haves.
  • Know your values and shared vision early (short-term fun vs. long-term compatibility).
  • Confidence builds through practice, presentation (wardrobe/lingerie), and positive feedback from others.
  • Communication is the central skill for relationship and sexual health (asking for needs, setting boundaries, listening).
  • Shame and misinformation around sex in older age persist; open conversations reduce stigma.

Sexual health and safety

  • Regular STI testing, condom use, and explicit discussion of safety are essential — especially in non-monogamous or travel contexts.
  • People in alternative/lifestyle communities often follow stricter testing/condom norms.
  • Many older adults report clinicians not addressing sexual-health solutions (e.g., vaginal estrogen); self-advocacy with doctors is important.

Solo travel & meeting potential dates

  • Solo travel can be empowering; prioritize safety (use resources like Nomad List).
  • Use Facebook expat groups and Host a Sister to find local connections and reduce risk.
  • Dating apps (Bumble, Tinder, Feeld, FetLife) remain useful for meeting people while traveling.
  • Be open-minded; chance meetings while traveling can lead to lasting relationships.

Watch on YouTube

Connect with Suzanne Noble & Sex Advice for Seniors:


Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

7 Traits Quality Men Seek in a Woman (That Have Nothing to Do With Age or Looks)

What are the traits quality men seek in a woman? Here are the top seven, and you might be surprised by what they are! — Let’s be honest — dating over 50 can feel like a trip through the Twilight Zone. You meet someone great, there’s chemistry, and then… poof. He disappears. Or worse, he […]

traits quality men seek in a woman

What are the traits quality men seek in a woman? Here are the top seven, and you might be surprised by what they are!

Let’s be honest — dating over 50 can feel like a trip through the Twilight Zone. You meet someone great, there’s chemistry, and then… poof. He disappears. Or worse, he sticks around but you’re carrying the emotional weight of the entire relationship.

Here’s what you need to know: quality men — the ones who are emotionally available, kind, and ready for a real partnership — are not just looking for someone young, cute and clever (although we’ll take the compliments). They’re looking for a woman who brings emotional maturity, self-awareness, and depth to the table.

If you’re wondering how to attract that kind of man, you’re in the right place. Here are seven powerful traits quality men seek in a woman — and yes, you can embody them all without losing yourself.

7 Traits Quality Men Seek in a Woman

1. She Doesn’t Plan a Future Before There’s a Present

It’s easy to get swept up in the fantasy — especially when someone ticks a few boxes on the first date. But quality men want to build a relationship with someone grounded in the now. When you’re already naming your future rescue dog together after two dates, it can be a red flag.

Staying present allows real connection to unfold naturally. It’s not about being aloof — it’s about pacing yourself and letting reality catch up with chemistry.

2. She Doesn’t Overanalyze Men

Wondering what his last text really meant or decoding every pause on the phone is exhausting — and frankly, not sexy. Quality men value women who trust their intuition and don’t need to play detective to feel secure.

If something feels off, you get curious and ask about it. If things are going well, you let it be easy. That energy is magnetic.

3. She’s Vulnerable and Communicates Her Feelings and Needs Directly and Kindly

Quality men don’t expect perfection. They want real. That means you’re not afraid to say, “Hey, I felt hurt when you canceled last minute,” or “I’m looking for a relationship where we check in regularly.”

It’s not about making demands — it’s about expressing what’s true for you in a way that invites connection rather than conflict.

4. She Is Clear About Her Must-Haves and Doesn’t Try to Force a Relationship When It’s Not a Good Fit

We’ve all done it — stayed a little too long in a not-so-good situation, hoping things would magically improve. But a woman of value doesn’t force it. She knows that compatibility isn’t about potential — it’s about alignment.

When something’s off, she doesn’t make excuses. She lovingly blesses and releases.

5. She Knows Her Worth and Won’t Compromise the Important Stuff for Anyone

You’re not auditioning for a role in his life — you’re co-creating a relationship. That means knowing what’s non-negotiable (emotional availability? kindness? consistent communication?) and not shrinking or settling just to be chosen.

Quality men are drawn to women who choose themselves first. That’s what makes you truly irresistible.

6. She’s Curious, Not Judgmental

We all have baggage. But a woman who can hold space, ask thoughtful questions, and remain open — rather than jumping to conclusions or moral high ground — creates safety and trust.

Curiosity says, “I want to understand you.” Judgment says, “I need you to be different.” Guess which one invites deeper connection?

7. She Has a Full Life Without a Man, But Knows How Much Her Life Will Be Enhanced With the Right Partner

You’ve cultivated joy, purpose, and pleasure on your own — and it shows. You’re not looking for someone to complete you, but to complement you.

That balanced energy — grounded in independence, yet open to intimacy — is what makes love flourish.

If you see yourself in this list — amazing! Keep shining. And if you’re still working on some of these traits, that’s what dating in midlife is all about — growing, healing, and becoming the version of yourself who attracts (and chooses) the love you deserve. And remember: It’s never too late to go on your last first date. 💕


If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with me and explore how private coaching can help! https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join my free Facebook group, Your Last First Date https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of my books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating: Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love.

How to Have a More Satisfying Intimate Relationship

If you’re seeking more satisfaction in your intimate relationship, you’re going to love this episode of Last First Date Radio! — Want to have a more satisfying intimate relationship? My podcast guest, Keeley Rankin is a sex and relationship coach, and she helps individuals and couples shed shame, access pleasure and step into their authentic […]

intimate relationship

If you’re seeking more satisfaction in your intimate relationship, you’re going to love this episode of Last First Date Radio!

Want to have a more satisfying intimate relationship? My podcast guest, Keeley Rankin is a sex and relationship coach, and she helps individuals and couples shed shame, access pleasure and step into their authentic and real erotic selves. She has two online courses, Keeley Sex Class and Premature Ejaculation Training Mastery Course, and she mentors and supervises up-and-coming sex coaches and facilitates workshops for colleagues and the general public.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • Why so many people struggle to have a satisfying sex life
  • One thing people can do today to make sex more satisfying and fun
  • How to work through performance anxiety
  • What couples can do to keep sex feeling fresh

EP 634 : Keeley Rankin – How to Have a More Satisfying Intimate Relationship

Why do so many people struggle to have a satisfying sex life?

It’s really about people’s relationship with pleasure. I ask clients how they have pleasure in the rest of their lives. Many people do things that look like pleasure, like yoga and massages, but the truth is it’s a ‘should’, and it’s not filled with pleasure. Many of us withhold pleasure. When it comes to sex, it can feel like a ‘should’, too.

What is one thing people can do today to make sex more satisfying and fun?

The first step is to acknowledge what’s true. Notice your struggle with pleasure and putting it on the back burner. In my new course, I help people enjoy pleasure more fully. I start with mindset, deconstructing social ideas about pleasure, looking at our history. We need to listen to our bodies. Sex is meant to be fun. Eroticism is adult play.

How do you work through performance anxiety?

Performance anxiety is often related to pressure that it has to look a certain way or it won’t be good or fun. It’s important to talk about it with your partner. As our bodies change and they look different as we age, many people are afraid to be seen by their partner. Communicate before sex about your fears or what the other person can expect. You can ask a partner with performance anxiety, “Is this normal for you?” If they don’t tell the truth, that’s okay. There’s a lot of shame. Create a safe space. Return to play and what is pleasurable.

Is it normal to not want to have sex?

Our eroticism is always shifting and changing. Instead of trying to catch up to how things used to be, accept that our bodies and emotional needs are always shifting. Remain curious and open. Let go of how it’s ‘supposed to be’. Find pleasure in new ways. Learn how to communicate your needs and desires.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Raise your expectations and see the person in front of you.

Connect with Keeley

Watch this episode on YouTube


Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Can a Relationship Survive When Only One Person Does the Work?

When only one person does the work, can a relationship last? That’s the big question we answer on this episode of Last First Date Radio. — The age old question: when only one person does the work, can a relationship last? Dr. Lee Baucom has spent over three decades helping people shift from a disconnected […]

only one person does the work

When only one person does the work, can a relationship last? That’s the big question we answer on this episode of Last First Date Radio.

The age old question: when only one person does the work, can a relationship last? Dr. Lee Baucom has spent over three decades helping people shift from a disconnected marriage to a loving and connected relationship, even if only one is trying.

In this episode:

  • What is a Pause Button Marriage?
  • What are the three levels of connection?
  • What can only one partner do to save a relationship? 

EP 704: Lee Baucom – Can a Relationship Survive When Only One Person Does the Work?

Highlights of this episode:

Signs of a one-sided relationship

  • If you’re dating and notice things are one-sided: carrying emotional weight is a yellow/red flag.
  • Notice patterns within yourself in a long-term relationship that feels one-sided: stepping in unasked, always planning, feeling resentful.
  • Hidden vs. stated contributions: partners often overestimate their input in a relationship.

Causes and dynamics of a one-sided relationship

  • Childhood imprints (imago) shape who carries emotional labor.
  • Mutual training: one partner may shut down the other’s attempts to help.
  • Chaser–spacer dynamic: pursuing closeness often causes the other to distance.
  • Pause-button effect: couples stop intentionally nurturing connection after commitment.

Ways to untangle and reconnect if you’re in a one-sided relationship

  • Reality-test your assessment: are you missing the other person’s contributions?
  • Reduce criticism; adjust expectations and make explicit agreements with each other.
  • Pace reconnection: use invitations and light, low-pressure activities to reconnect.
  • Target three connection levels: physical (touch), emotional (listening/validation), spiritual (values, hopes, fears).
  • Small, steady increases in reciprocal behavior work better than big, pressured interventions.

Coaching vs. therapy and how to go on your last first date

  • Marital therapy has limited statistical effectiveness; coaching can be more outcome-focused.
  • Assess team compatibility (values, day-to-day functioning) when choosing a partner.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect with Lee


Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Why We Fall For People We Can’t Have

Many of us fall for people we can’t have. In this episode, you’ll learn why we do that, and how we can start falling for people we CAN have. — Have you ever fallen for someone who was in a relationship, married, lived too far away — someone who was not available for a relationship? […]

people we can't have

Many of us fall for people we can’t have. In this episode, you’ll learn why we do that, and how we can start falling for people we CAN have.

Have you ever fallen for someone who was in a relationship, married, lived too far away — someone who was not available for a relationship? Listen to this episode with my son, Max, and learn why we fall for people we can’t have.

EP 677: Why We Fall For People We Can’t Have

Why We Fall For People We Can’t Have

  • We perceive what we can’t have as having more value
  • We like the challenge of trying to chase what we can’t get
  • We have self esteem or trust issues
  • We have fear of commitment
  • We didn’t expect things to be like this because they gave us all the right signals
  • We convinced ourselves this person was our only or best option

How to avoid falling for people you can’t have

  • Stop believing it’s the only person you can have
  • Get the confidence and social skills to meet people anywhere
  • Open up all your options, so you stop focusing on people who are not available

Watch this episode on YouTube

Have you ever fallen for someone you couldn’t have? Please share your story below.


Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Celebrating Those Who Are Happily Single

There are many people who are happily single. We celebrate the single lifestyle in this episode! — Dr. Bella DePaulo is the leading expert on single life, and her TEDx talk on the topic now has more than 1.6 million views. She received her PhD from Harvard, spent two decades as a psychology professor at […]

happily single

There are many people who are happily single. We celebrate the single lifestyle in this episode!

Dr. Bella DePaulo is the leading expert on single life, and her TEDx talk on the topic now has more than 1.6 million views. She received her PhD from Harvard, spent two decades as a psychology professor at the University of Virginia, and is an academic affiliate at UC Santa Barbara. She is the author of SINGLE AT HEART.

In this episode:

  • The definition of “single at heart”
  • Why people who are single at heart love being single so much
  • Doesn’t everyone want to have a romantic partner? 
  • The positive benefits of embracing a single life 
  • Reactions to the Single at Heart book

EP 703: Dr. Bella DePaulo – Celebrating Those Who Are Happily Single 

What does “single at heart” mean?

We love our single lives. We are happy and flourishing because we’re single. I dated in the past, and I don’t have any horror stories. And when each relationship ended, I was so happy to get back to my single life.

Why do the single at heart love being single so much?

They love their solitude and freedom and connection with their friends. They have a life they love. They choose the life they want.

Doesn’t everyone want to have a romantic partner?

No, not everyone wants a romantic partner. Some people don’t want to be married, especially not unhappily married. You can have friends with benefits or find other ways to have intimacy.

What are the positives of embracing a single life? Are there statistical or personal benefits?

Your friendships are valued more. You appreciate your solitude. You do what you want without being judged. You won’t be lonely if you like your solitude. It’s a sign of emotional maturity.

What kinds of reactions have you gotten to your Single at Heart book?

In the first couple of weeks after the publish date, I got hundreds of messages and emails and even snail mail. People felt validated. They felt like they found a home.

What are your final words about being single at heart?

Live your single lives fully, joyfully, and unapologetically.

Connect with Bella

  • X: @belladepaulo
  • Bluesky: @belladepaulo.bsky.social 
  • IG: @bellasingleatheart
  • FB: @singleatheartbook  @belladepaulo
  • YouTube: @BellaDePaulo
  • Website: https://belladepaulo.com/

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Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Overcome Pelvic Floor Issues After 50

Did you know that pelvic floor issues impact many women over 50? My podcast guest, Sara Reardon will help you get the help you need. — Pelvic floor issues are common but not normal. Help is available so women can take back their bodies, says board-certified pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Sara Reardon in her […]

pelvic floor

Did you know that pelvic floor issues impact many women over 50? My podcast guest, Sara Reardon will help you get the help you need.

Pelvic floor issues are common but not normal. Help is available so women can take back their bodies, says board-certified pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Sara Reardon in her new book, FLOORED: A Woman’s Guide to Pelvic Floor Health at Every Age and Stage (pub date June 10, 2025). Dr. Sara has built a robust community online as “The Vagina Whisperer” (664K Instagram followers; 13 Million TikTok Views) teaching women how to prevent as well as overcome pelvic floor issues at every stage of life with simple tips like “squeeze before you sneeze” to more advanced protocols to prepare for childbirth or navigate changes during menopause.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • How Sara became known as “The Vagina Whisperer”
  • What is the pelvic floor, and what are the common symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction?
  • What a woman should do if her doctor tells her her pelvic pain or leakage is essentially a normal part of being a woman, aging, pregnant, postpartum, menopause, etc
  • Some of the most common pelvic floor problems and what women do to treat them
  • Top tips any woman can do right now to take care of her pelvic floor
  • Why there’s a stigma around talking about women’s health “down there”
  • How pelvic floor problems evolve over time if left untreated
  • How women’s partners can help them with their pelvic floor pain
  • What a woman can do if she can’t find a pelvic floor therapist near her

EP 665: Sara Reardon – A Woman’s Guide to Overcoming Pelvic Floor Issues After 50

Why did you write FLOORED: A Woman’s Guide to Pelvic Floor Health at Every Age and Stage?

I never planned to be an author. People kept saying I should write a book as a resource for women. I got an email from a Harper Collins editor asking me to write the book. I wanted women to feel less alone in every stage of life.

How did you become known as “The Vagina Whisperer”?

I’ve been practicing as a pelvic floor specialist for 18 years. Over the past five or six years, there’s been more awareness on social media. I started sharing information with my girlfriends and patients. So, in 2016, I started my account “The Vagina Whisperer”, because women weren’t getting this important information. I wanted to give them tips and tools to help them understand their bodies and give them relief.

What is the pelvic floor, and what are the common symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction?

The pelvic floor supports your uterus, ovaries, your bowels, and for women, it affects menstruation and intercourse. If you have issues like urinary leakage, discomfort with bowel movements, or painful sex, it has to do with your pelvic floor.

What should a woman do if her doctor tells her her pelvic pain or leakage is essentially a normal part of being a woman, aging, pregnant, postpartum, menopause, etc?

Find a new doctor if you’re dismissed or minimized. You deserve to be treated with respect.

What are some of your top tips any woman can do right now to take care of her pelvic floor?

If you’re perimenopausal or menopausal, talk to your provider about topical estrogen, learn about the right lubes for more comfortable sex. Make your muscles stronger by knowing the proper way to pee – by letting the stream flow. For bowel movements, use a stool to relax and not strain. Pushing weakens your pelvic floor.

What do you think about the “big vulva” industry that’s booming selling women products like vaginal deodorant?

As we have more awareness of vaginal health, there are a lot of businesses that have released products that are for deodorizing vaginas. This is dangerous. It can put you at a higher risk for infections. If there’s a strong odor, get yourself checked for infections. There is a normal scent to vaginas.

How can women’s partners help them with their pelvic floor pain?

Knowledge is powerful. These are muscles and tissues in our body. If there’s pain, something isn’t right. If you had back pain, you’d tell your partner, too. First, understand where the pain is coming from. Second, ask your partner to help you. Do you need them to do yoga with you before sex? Use a lubricant? Communication is key. You’re not broken. It’s a WE problem, not a YOU problem.

What should a woman do if she can’t find a pelvic floor therapist near her?

You have a lot of options. Go to pelvicrehab.com or pelvicglobal.com or google to find a therapist near you. If you can’t find one, you can also do tele-health to get educated about your pelvic floor. I have an online exercise program. You can also buy my book to learn more.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

The most important work we can do is on ourselves. That’s where you’re going to find the most growth. When my husband and I were getting married, someone asked what I liked about him. A better question is, “do you like who you are when you’re together?”

Follow Sara Reardon

Watch this episode on YouTube


Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life