These 7 habits, based on the work of Stephen Covey, will help you become a better dater and find your best match. — Something unexpected happened recently—my son-in-law and I found ourselves deep in conversation about… dating. Not because he’s dating (he’s happily married to my daughter, thank you very much), but because he’s been […]

These 7 habits, based on the work of Stephen Covey, will help you become a better dater and find your best match.

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Something unexpected happened recently—my son-in-law and I found ourselves deep in conversation about… dating. Not because he’s dating (he’s happily married to my daughter, thank you very much), but because he’s been reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.

He’s seeing the world through new eyes, and watching someone get it for the first time is exhilarating. As we talked through Covey’s ideas, I realized something: every single one of these habits could be applied to dating.

So, with deep respect (and a little artistic license), here’s my take on what Stephen Covey might say—if he were a dating coach.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Daters

1. Be Proactive
You can keep blaming your parents’ marriage, your city’s dating pool, or the apps. Or you can take full ownership of your love life. Proactive daters don’t wait for the stars to align—they make intentional choices that lead to real results. No matter your past, you can create the relationship you want. It starts with you.

2. Begin With the End in Mind
Wishing for love is nice. But vision? Vision gets results. If you want a lasting partnership, what does that actually look like? Are you picturing companionship, shared values, someone to dance in the kitchen with you, a travel partner? Be specific. If you know where you’re going, it’s a lot easier to get there.

3. Put First Things First
Let’s be honest—if love is a priority, your calendar should reflect it. Are you carving out time for dating? Signing up for social events? Updating your online dating profile with care? If you’re only checking your dating apps once a week, love is going to feel like an afterthought. Make space for it. Make it matter.

4. Think Win-Win
Too often, dating feels like musical chairs. If she finds a good man, does that mean there’s one less for you? That’s a scarcity mindset, and it leads to jealousy, comparison, and fear. Have an abundance mindset. There are plenty of kind, available, emotionally intelligent people out there. When one person finds love, it’s proof that you can too.

5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Listening is a superpower in dating. But not the kind where you’re simply waiting for your turn to talk. I’m talking about real listening—with curiosity, patience, empathy and reflection. Too often, we listen through the filter of our own past. But when you tune in with fresh ears, you get to know someone for who they are—not who you assume they might be.

6. Synergize
Great relationships are not about sameness—they’re about complementing one another. When two people bring their full selves to the table, something magical happens. One plus one doesn’t equal two. It equals three. What does that mean? The synergy of what you each contribute can create something neither of you could have built alone. And yes, it can be as sexy as it is sacred.

7. Sharpen the Saw
Dating isn’t just about finding the right person. It’s about being the right person. Keep growing—emotionally, mentally, spiritually, socially. Be curious. Be alive. The best relationships are between two people who are constantly evolving and supporting each other’s growth.

And… the Bonus Habit

8. From Effectiveness to Greatness
Once you’ve found love—how do you nurture it? How do you keep the fire burning? This habit is about going beyond “it works” into “this is extraordinary.” Thriving together. Laughing together. Dreaming together. Don’t just maintain your relationship—elevate it.

Whether you’re new to dating or ready for your last first date, these habits are a powerful guide. I believe that when you date with intention, when you stay open and keep growing, you attract not just anyone, but the right one.

Let’s rewrite the story of dating—one aligned, empowered, highly effective habit at a time.

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If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find your person, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How can you balance life and love? Dr. Margaret Cochran gives us actionable techniques to create more balance in your life. — How do you balance life and love? That’s what we’re discussing today on the podcast with Dr. Margaret Cochran. She is a transpersonal psychologist, licensed clinical social worker, educator, author, and media personality […]

How can you balance life and love? Dr. Margaret Cochran gives us actionable techniques to create more balance in your life.

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How do you balance life and love? That’s what we’re discussing today on the podcast with Dr. Margaret Cochran. She is a transpersonal psychologist, licensed clinical social worker, educator, author, and media personality with 25+ years of experience. She blends traditional, transpersonal, and energy psychology to help clients heal and thrive. Featured on BBC, CBS, NBC, and more, she’s known for her whole-person approach to wellness and hosting programs like Wisdom, Love and Magic.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• How to know when things are out of balance in a relationship
• Is balance really possible?
• How to balance life and love if you don’t have healthy examples in your life
• How to talk to your partner about balance
• Tips you can use to achieve balance between life and love

EP 679: Dr. Margaret Cochran – How to Balance Life and Love; Strategies for Success

How do you know when things are out of balance in a relationship?

We work too hard and we’re praised for it. We start to fall apart. If you’re well rested and satisfied, you’ll produce a much better product at work. And as an individual, we need to matter to ourselves first or we can’t be there for anyone else.

Stop, sit back, and take a second, and ask yourself, “What is it that I need?” It may take practice if you’re not used to it. Your needs are vital, not wrong or “needy” or self-centered.

Is balance really possible?

Balance is where there’s as much coming in as there is going out. As women we get pressured to put more out than in. Often women don’t know what they want. We lose ourselves, and then we can’t give or receive love.

How do you determine how to balance life and love if you don’t have healthy examples in your life?

Talk to a professional who can help you define your values and boundaries.

What are some actionable tips you can use to achieve balance between life and love?

Go back into your childhood when you were eight or nine years old. What was your favorite thing to do? Go do it and watch what happens. That touches the little person inside of you. It’s the part that gets ignored. That part of you that’s about being and not doing. It’s the most intuitive part of you. Fill a bowl with fun things to do.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Remember to date yourself first. Being in love with yourself will allow you to have a healthy relationship.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect with Dr. Cochran

• IGhttps://www.instagram.com/doctorcochran/
• YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@drmargaretcochran
• FB https://www.facebook.com/drmcochran
• TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@drmargaretcochran
• Websitehttps://www.drcochran.com/

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Why do high-performing men secretly struggle in love, and how can women spot the signs? Mike Elliot tells all in this episode. — Why do high-performing men struggle in their romantic relationships? My podcast guest, Mike Elliot, shares his wisdom in this episode of Last First Date Radio. Mike is a Relational Leadership Mentor and […]

Why do high-performing men secretly struggle in love, and how can women spot the signs? Mike Elliot tells all in this episode.

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Why do high-performing men struggle in their romantic relationships? My podcast guest, Mike Elliot, shares his wisdom in this episode of Last First Date Radio. Mike is a Relational Leadership Mentor and Men’s Initiation Guide. He guides men to lead with “Relational Authority”, anchored in initiation, integration, and inspiration. He’s the co-host of “The Sacred We”, where he helps men transform their relationships – starting with themselves – and create legacies of love, presence and purpose. 

In this episode:

• What led Mike to this work 
• The most common blocks for high achieving men in relationship
• How to help men show up with more presence
• How Mike’s clients relationships transform when they learn Relational Authority
• The cost of not learning RA

EP 707: Mike Elliot – Why High-Performing Men Secretly Struggle in Love

Highlights of this Episode

Catalyst for Mike’s work

• Mike Elliott’s personal catalyst for doing this work: adopted twice in his first year of life, marriage ended after 7 years; experienced a “dark night” that led to seeking mentorship and eventually began transformational coaching.
• Shifted from intellectual self-help to embodied, relational work after mentorship and integration.

Core framework & concepts of Relational Authority

• Three pillars: Initiation → Integration → Inspiration.
• Relational Authority: (VAR) Vulnerability (radical transparency), Acknowledgement, Reassurance.
• Emphasis on “bottom-up” embodiment: bodily felt sense, nervous-system regulation, and relational attunement over pure intellect.

Practical approach & client outcomes

• Reading/books alone are insufficient; guided relational work, mentoring, and men’s circles enable deep integration.
• We heal in relationships: safe presence and attunement allow processing trauma held in the body.
• Outcomes reported: improved relational reciprocity, emotional maturity, better partnerships, and more sustainable enjoyment of life/legacy.

Watch on YouTube

Connect With Mike

• IG https://www.instagram.com/mikeelliott.relating/
• Website https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/
• Masculine/Feminine Polarity Cheat sheet https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/newsletter+Freebie

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

If you’ve been second guessing yourself in dating, these tips will help you learn to trust your instincts and build confidence! — If you’ve ever walked away from a date replaying every word you said, wondering if you should’ve done something differently—you’re not alone. Dating can bring up a lot of self-doubt, but second-guessing yourself […]

If you’ve been second guessing yourself in dating, these tips will help you learn to trust your instincts and build confidence!

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If you’ve ever walked away from a date replaying every word you said, wondering if you should’ve done something differently—you’re not alone. Dating can bring up a lot of self-doubt, but second-guessing yourself only keeps you stuck.

The truth? You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to trust yourself. Here’s how to stop overthinking and start dating with confidence.

5 Ways to Stop Second-Guessing and Build Confidence

1. Recognize and Acknowledge Your Thoughts

The first step is noticing when you’re spinning in circles. Pay attention to those “What if?” or “Maybe I shouldn’t have…” thoughts. Then ask yourself: Am I afraid of making a mistake, or am I just being hard on myself? Awareness is powerful—it helps you separate real concerns from unnecessary self-criticism.

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Your brain loves to tell stories that aren’t true. Question those assumptions. Is there actual evidence, or are you just filling in the blanks? And remember—there’s no such thing as “perfect” in dating. Be kind to yourself. When you catch your mind spiraling, gently shift your focus to something positive or productive.

3. Trust Your Intuition

Your gut is wiser than you think. Start small: trust yourself with everyday choices, and you’ll build confidence for the bigger ones—like who to date and when to walk away. And once you make a decision, stop analyzing it to death. Assume you made the best choice you could in that moment, and move forward.

4. Learn from Your Experiences

Dating is a learning curve. Instead of beating yourself up over past choices, reflect on what you can take away from them. Growth matters more than perfection. Every experience—good or bad—is practice for building the love life you want.

5. Seek Support

You don’t have to do this alone. Talk to friends who remind you of your worth. If you’re feeling stuck, therapy or coaching can give you tools to quiet the self-doubt. And mindfulness? Total game-changer. It helps you see your thoughts without getting tangled up in them.

Second-guessing yourself won’t get you closer to love—but self-trust will. Every time you choose to back yourself instead of doubting yourself, you’re building the kind of confidence that attracts the right people. So take a deep breath, trust your gut, and remember: the right person won’t require you to question yourself—they’ll make you feel sure.

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If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find your person, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

It’s never too late to rewrite your happily ever after. Author, Laurie Collister shares her inspiring story on the podcast. — Laurie Collister is living proof you can rewrite your happily ever after. She is a counselor, journalist, and debut memoirist. After graduating from Kenyon College, she worked as a litigation paralegal, market analyst, investigative […]

It’s never too late to rewrite your happily ever after. Author, Laurie Collister shares her inspiring story on the podcast.

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Laurie Collister is living proof you can rewrite your happily ever after. She is a counselor, journalist, and debut memoirist. After graduating from Kenyon College, she worked as a litigation paralegal, market analyst, investigative journalist, and, most recently, as a counselor on LA’s skid row. In this checkerboard of professions, she learned how to harvest the hidden – key to penning A Different Kind of Vow: Rewriting My Happily After, due out April 7, 2026, as well as The Last Home on the Left, about her fourteen years working on skid row, to be published in May 2027. Laurie lives with her extended family and dog Bella on a cul-de-sac in Los Angeles.

In this episode:

• What is the “other kind of vow”?
• Learning about love in your 30s and 40s
• How journaling can change your life

EP 704: Laurie Collister – Rewriting Your Happily Ever After

Highlights of this episode

A Different Type of Vow and Relationship Insight

• Laurie coined “A Different Type of Vow”: prioritize a personal purpose/sacred vow over seeking marriage as your primary identity.
• Focusing on personal purpose prevents losing oneself in relationships and attracting mismatched partners.
• Warning against the giver-taker dynamic; build relationships with mutual healing and shared goals.

Spiritual Journey and Career Shift

• Laurie pursued a spiritual quest, worked at an international Hindu organization, and learned self-love through meditation.
• Transitioned to counseling (master’s degree) and worked 14 years on Skid Row helping clients find vocation and home.
• Found belonging and purpose in community work rather than in romantic relationships.

Journaling and Self-Discovery

• Uses long-term journaling to gain objectivity, uncover patterns, relieve emotional pressure, and guide life decisions.
• Journaling helped Laurie identify hidden emotions (e.g., rage) and contributed to creative output and healing.

Cultural Critique and Practical Advice

• Argues the “American Dream” script needs rewriting to focus on shared values, growth orientation, and mutual goals rather than a one-size-fits-all checklist.
• Advice for those wanting to be happily single: anchor yourself in your sacred contract/purpose; seek love in multiple forms; avoid entering relationships from scarcity.

Connect with Laurie:

• Website https://lauriecollister.com

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Brian Franklin can help you avoid wedding speech disasters! Listen to the podcast to learn the keys to writing a good wedding speech. — Ever struggle with writing a wedding speech? Dubbed “The Humorist” by the New York Times, Brian Franklin is the Co-Founder of Vows & Speeches, which he founded in mid-2021 with his […]

Brian Franklin can help you avoid wedding speech disasters! Listen to the podcast to learn the keys to writing a good wedding speech.

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Ever struggle with writing a wedding speech? Dubbed “The Humorist” by the New York Times, Brian Franklin is the Co-Founder of Vows & Speeches, which he founded in mid-2021 with his wife and business partner, Nicole Franklin.  Prior to 2023, Brian was the founder and President of an award-winning political consulting firm, where he oversaw messaging, communications (including speechwriting), and advertising for state and federal campaigns nationwide.

In this episode:

• Why start a business writing wedding speeches?
• What’s the process? 
• What’s the right balance of humor vs. sentimentality? 
• What about people with public speaking anxiety? 
• Should people memorize, have everything typed out, or use bullets?

EP 661: Brian Franklin – Wedding Speech Disasters (and how to avoid them)

Why did you start a business writing wedding speeches?

I was writing speeches for politicians for a long time. As politics got uglier, I wanted to find other things to do. I was an officiant in a few weddings and some people came to me to help write speeches and vows for them. I enjoyed this new angle, and I’ve been doing it ever since!

What’s the process? 

Writing speeches and vows is similar to the process we take couples through. You have to treat a speech as if people have a tiny attention span. How will an audience drift off? I think about that. I start with an hour long interview to understand every aspect of their relationship. What are the funny and quirky parts? I take all the information and distill what’s funny and what’s interesting and will give insight into what makes this couple unique.

What’s the right balance of humor vs. sentimentality? 

It starts with what the couple wants. If they’re irreverent, they want the wedding to be fun. It’s usually a balance of 7 to 3. Some people are not so funny. Every good relationship has some humor, and it’s my job to find those things and weave them in.

What about people with public speaking anxiety? 

Practice the speech word for word to have muscle memory. Then, you can work on tone, stage presence, and everything else. It will help you stammer less and feel more comfortable at the event.

Should people memorize, have everything typed out, or use bullets?

I discourage bullet points, because this is an emotional event, and it’s a one-off speech that you won’t deliver again. It will also help with timing if you have everything written out.

What are some wedding speech disastors?  

First, speaking too long can be disastrous. People don’t nail the moment. Those speeches are tedious and awful. People don’t always use good judgment when speaking. They drink too much and go on too long. Typically it’s the father of the bride or the best man.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

One consistent thing I’ve seen with all the couples I’ve interviewed was how they felt when they first met. On the first few dates, they talked for hours. Time flew by and they vibed. You may not be in love, but the conversation flows. If that’s there, give it a chance to see if love grows. Because a good relationship is an ongoing conversation. Also, focus on how they resolve conflict. That’s a good indicator of relationship success.

Connect with Brian

• Website https://vowsandspeeches.com 
• IG https://instagram.com/vowsandspeeches 
• FB https://facebook.com/vowsandspeeches 

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How can we overcome limerence and find true love? Amanda McCracken wrote a fabulous book on this topic. Tune in to the pod to learn more. — Do you want to overcome limerence and finally have a healthy relationship? My podcast guest, Amanda McCracken, wrote the book on how to stop infatuation to find authentic […]

How can we overcome limerence and find true love? Amanda McCracken wrote a fabulous book on this topic. Tune in to the pod to learn more.

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Do you want to overcome limerence and finally have a healthy relationship? My podcast guest, Amanda McCracken, wrote the book on how to stop infatuation to find authentic love. She’s a journalist passionate about experiences that highlight the intersection of wellness, travel, and relationships. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Washington Post, Guardian, Vogue, and many others. She is considered a “limerence expert” and intimacy advocate. Her 2023 TED Talk, “How Longing Keeps Us From Healthy Relationships,” and her podcast, The Longing Lab, highlight how longing can become self sabotaging and shares how to change our patterns of longing. McCracken is also a part-time university instructor, massage therapist, triathlon coach, and competitive athlete. 

In this episode:

• The key characteristics of limerence
• Who’s most likely to be affected by limerence?
• How limerence affects your everyday life
• How limerence and love addiction are alike and different
• How having ADHD predisposes one to having limerence
• How the current dating scene/culture affects those that experience limerence 

EP 713: Amanda McCracken – How to Overcome Limerence and Find Real Love

Highlights of this episode:

Limerence: definition and personal backstory

• Limerence = intense, obsessive rumination/idealization of a romantic interest; “crush on steroids.”
• Can occur without a relationship starting; long-lasting “limerent objects” persist for years.
• Amanda linked her long history of limerence to later ADHD diagnosis (hyperfixation, dopamine/anticipation-driven reward).

Causes and contributing factors

• Potential roots: attachment disruptions, subtle childhood traumas, birth separations, eldest-child/perfectionist roles.
• ADHD, social media, dating apps, hookup culture, and AI-enhanced interactions amplify uncertainty, intermittent reinforcement, and rumination.
• Cultural myths (Hollywood chemistry) confuse anxiety-driven attraction with healthy love.

Healing and therapeutic approaches

• Combine neuroscience (interrupt rumination / trigger-behavior-reward cycles) and somatic work (body-based emotional awareness).
• Psychological work: build self-worth, challenge illusion of control, release blame, practice mantras (e.g., “I am ready for and worthy of a deeply intimate and loving relationship”).
• Practical indicators of healthy partners: trust, consistent actions, care, curiosity, patience, emotional regulation, and reliable behavior (not just attraction).

Dating coaching, matchmaking, and practical dating advice

• Dating apps and modern dating dynamics can fuel limerence; focus instead on long-term relational qualities (communication, conflict resolution, trust).
• Beware of unqualified/overpromising dating coaches; look for experience, ethical practices, and evidence-based approaches.
• For a “last first date”: do personal inner work, cultivate readiness (right person, right time, right you), and prioritize trust and consistent action over instant chemistry.

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Connect with Amanda:

• Website: https://www.amandajmccracken.com/
• FB: https://www.facebook.com/AmandaJanaeMcCracken
• IG: https://www.instagram.com/amandajmccracken/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thelonginglab

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Submit your dating dilemma to be answered on my podcast https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Have you thought about reinventing your love and life after 40? Wendy Valentine did, and here’s her inspirational story! — Wendy Valentine reinvented her love and life after 40. She’s the author of Women Waking Up: The Midlife Manifesto for Passion, Purpose, and Play and the host of The Midlife Makeover Show, a top-rated podcast […]

Have you thought about reinventing your love and life after 40? Wendy Valentine did, and here’s her inspirational story!

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Wendy Valentine reinvented her love and life after 40. She’s the author of Women Waking Up: The Midlife Manifesto for Passion, Purpose, and Playand the host of The Midlife Makeover Show, a top-rated podcast for women in midlife. After her divorce at 45, she learned to “marry herself” first—rebuilding her life from the inside out. Now she empowers women to embrace self-love, rediscover joy, and attract relationships rooted in authenticity and alignment.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• What it means to marry yourself before dating after divorce
• The FREEDOM Framework for transformation, and how to use it to heal from heartbreak
• How to design your ideal relationship and have an amazing life after 40

EP 694: Wendy Valentine – Reinventing Love and Life After 40

You’ve said that one of the best things you ever did was “marry yourself.” What does that mean, and how did that change the way you approached love and relationships?

When I was 45, I got divorced, was unemployed, $150,000 in debt, had chronic lyme disease, and I had a lot of losses at one time. I went through depression and panic attacks for the first time. I started over with everything and didn’t know how to begin. My saving grace was a dream to drive an RV across the country. I went for it, and despite all that I was dealing with, little by little, I took steps towards that dream. It took two years, and now, I’m living my dream.

“Marry yourself” is getting to know yourself. Most of us don’t know our values and what we want and need. Tune into your needs and wants. What does it mean to truly love yourself? Do the work before dating again.

In your book, you share your F.R.E.E.D.O.M. Framework for transformation. How can women use those steps to heal from heartbreak and open up to healthy love again?

After my divorce, freedom meant freedom from money issues, toxic relationships, etc. So I created the FREEDOM Framework, which are the seven steps I took after divorce to heal.

F: free yourself

R: reset your life

E: envision your new future

E: embrace and explore

D: detach from tomorrow

O: own your best self

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Make yourself your forever first date. It’ll all work out. Get to know yourself, take care of yourself. Leap and the net will appear.

Connect With Wendy

• Website: https://wendyvalentine.com 
• Media: https://wendyvalentine.com/media-kit 
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wendy_valentine_/ 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hellowendyvalentine/ 
• Substack: https://wendyvalentine.substack.com

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Out with the old dating rules, and in with new dating guidelines and principles. Tune in to Last First Date Radio to hear Talia Koren! — Why should we dump the old dating rules? Talia Koren is a dating podcaster, content creator, and entrepreneur who went on 64 first dates in under 10 months before […]

Out with the old dating rules, and in with new dating guidelines and principles. Tune in to Last First Date Radio to hear Talia Koren!

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Why should we dump the old dating rules? Talia Koren is a dating podcaster, content creator, and entrepreneur who went on 64 first dates in under 10 months before meeting her husband on Hinge. Now, as the founder of Dating Intentionally, she helps women in their 30s–50s date with purpose, build real connections, and enjoy the process.

In this episode:

• The old rules of dating and why they don’t work anymore
• The new dating guidelines
• How to get out of old dating programming
• Why people today are afraid of commitment and vulnerability
• What to do when someone says they’re ready for commitment but aren’t

EP 709: Talia Koren – Old Dating Rules vs. New Dating Guidelines

Highlights of this Episode

Main theme: Old dating rules vs. new guidelines

• Old “rules” (e.g., waiting three days, three-date sex rule) are games/manipulation.
• Reframe dating as games vs. boundaries vs. standards.
• Recommendation: ditch manipulative games; use clear boundaries and healthy standards.

Practical dating guidelines

• Slow dating: align actions with goals, reflect after dates, sit with discomfort.
• Show clear interest (don’t hide feelings); be direct about communication preferences.
• Women encouraged to make first moves; both partners should share initiative by “turning towards” each other.
• First dates should be low-commitment (coffee/walk) as a vibe check.
• Focus reflections on values, how you felt, and reciprocity — not superficial markers (car, degree).
• Ask targeted, personal questions related to your needs (e.g., career, travel) to evaluate fit.
• If actions don’t match stated intentions (e.g., says wants a relationship but is inconsistent), move on.

Personal experiences/examples

• Talia: 64 first dates in 10 months, then met husband outside her “type”; attraction developed slowly; prized slow burn, reciprocity, and lack of red flags.
• Examples of dealbreakers: physical boundary violations (unwanted grabbing), stalking/over-researching, Venmo-for-sex behavior.

Watch on YouTube

Connect With Talia

• IG https://www.instagram.com/dating.intentionally/ 
• Podcast https://www.datingintentionallypod.com/

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

My podcast guest, Cynthia Marks, discusses how to transform love, healing, and human connection. You don’t want to miss this! — If you want to transform love, healing and human connection, this episode is for you! Cynthia Marks is the host of And Now Love, a podcast inspired by the psychoanalytic teachings of her late […]

My podcast guest, Cynthia Marks, discusses how to transform love, healing, and human connection. You don’t want to miss this!

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If you want to transform love, healing and human connection, this episode is for you! Cynthia Marks is the host of And Now Love, a podcast inspired by the psychoanalytic teachings of her late husband, Dr. Bernard Bail. Through intimate conversations and dream exploration, she helps listeners uncover unconscious emotional imprints and transform their understanding of love, healing, and human connection.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• What inspired Cynthia to start her podcast, And Now Love, and what’s the core message behind it?
• What role do early maternal relationships play in shaping our capacity to love or trust a partner in midlife?
• Cynthia’s healing journey where one of her husband’s teachings shifted her view on love
• What does a “healthy love” look like, and what practical steps can someone take to move toward that kind of love, even if they’ve never experienced it before?
• What’s one emotional pattern or belief someone might not realize is sabotaging their efforts to connect and find love?

EP 670: Cynthia Marks – How to Transform Love, Healing, and Human Connection

Tell us about your podcast, And Now Love. What inspired you to start it, and what’s the core message behind it?

It’s based on the theories of my late husband, Dr. Bail who passed away four years ago. He had a psychoanalytic theory that helps us be our best selves, to love ourselves. We’re all holding onto so much trauma, it’s hard to understand our authentic selves. His theory posits that this begins in the womb. Our mothers aren’t trying to traumatize us, but they carry trauma passed on from their ancestors. We have to figure out how to stop the trauma. Bernard discovered that dreams carry the information we need to heal. 

What role do early maternal relationships play in shaping our capacity to love or trust a partner in midlife?

As children, we want to make our mother (and father) happy, so we do things to please them. Often, that comes at the cost of losing parts of ourselves and developing false beliefs. What did you learn in childhood? You’re not loveable? Not true. We’re all based in love and carry love.

Can you share a moment from your own healing journey where one of Dr. Bail’s teachings shifted your view on love?

Through the course of talking about my dreams with my husband, he helped me come to my own conclusions about what the dream images meant to me. I reframed my view of my reality and my beliefs about love. Once I shifted my view of love,  I was able to release the trauma I was carrying.

What does a “healthy love” look like to you, and what practical steps can someone take to move toward that kind of love, even if they’ve never experienced it before?

Healthy love is first understanding who we really are vs who we trained ourselves to be to survive. Each of us has a base of love, and most of us don’t get to that place. If we can undo this trauma and love ourselves, we can understand what it is to love others and receive love. You’ll elevate others. You’ll feel true empathy for others.

What’s one emotional pattern or belief someone might not realize is sabotaging their efforts to connect and find love?

If you think you don’t deserve kindness or love – unconsciously – you’ll push away a kind and loving person and continue to date people who are wrong for you.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Let go of what you think is judgment, and let go of your preconceived notions of what you’re entitled to (when it comes to love). Even if you think you have a lot of work to do, take a jump off the diving board and let go.

Connect with Cynthia Marks

• website: andnowlove.com 
• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/andnowlove.podcast/ 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/And-Now-Love-Podcast/61557634374597/ 
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@AndNowLovePodcast 
• Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6VwjoRKnnCZkzbbfTcxeA5?si=16c5d438554d4b48 
• Apple Podcast:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/and-now-love-podcast/id1736397055

Watch this episode on YouTube here

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life