Uncategorized - Married Womens For Dating

The Surprising Reasons Why Men Pull Away After Early Connection

Posted on April 26, 2026 by

Ladies, if you want to know why men pull away in the early stages of dating, you don’t want to miss this podcast episode! — Why do men pull away after early connection? My podcast guest, Johnny Fernandez, has the answer to this and many other dating and relationship challenges. He is a seasoned relationship […]

Ladies, if you want to know why men pull away in the early stages of dating, you don’t want to miss this podcast episode!

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Why do men pull away after early connection? My podcast guest, Johnny Fernandez, has the answer to this and many other dating and relationship challenges. He is a seasoned relationship coach with over 20 years of experience helping women attract lasting love. As co-founder of the Feminine Radiance and Courage Institute, he guides clients to deepen confidence, heal emotional patterns, and build meaningful connections through heart-centered support and proven strategies.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

Why so many women experience men pulling away after what feels like a great initial connection
Common misunderstandings women have about men’s behavior during the early dating phase
What’s happening for a man emotionally or psychologically when he suddenly goes quiet or distances himself after seeming really into a woman
What to do if you feel confused or rejected when a man disappears or changes suddenly
What shifts when a woman learns how to respond in those moments of disconnection or uncertainty—rather than reacting

EP 668: Johnny Fernandez – Why Men Pull Away After Early Connection

Why do so many women experience men pulling away after what feels like a great initial connection?

Our approach is to look at masculine and feminine and what is affect and what is cause. We give women more credit and power over how the dating goes than most people. There’s a lot of preparation before dating to prevent men from pulling away. Largely, men pull away because of how they think, which is they put women in one of two categories early on: 1. She’s kind of fun for a little while, which rarely leads to marriage or commitment or 2. She’s different, I might be able to build a life with her. She needs to show up in communication as that second woman.

Are you showing up as the prize and distinguished? Do you know how to communicate with him to activate his masculinity switch?

Draw in a different type of man. Distinguish yourself from the other options as a woman of high value.

Change your mindset from “I haven’t gone on enough dates”, which is exhausting and not intentional, to “I didn’t build my skills enough to draw in the right person”. In early communication, when a man asks, “Do you want to hang out?”, that’s a fork in the road moment. You say, “You mean like a date?” If he says anything other than “Yes, a date”, walk away.

Men and women are not the same. Here’s how I see the masculine and feminine:

Masculine: He’s a protector, a provider, a leader who wants to love, cherish and adore her. That helps him become the best version of himself, the King to his Queen.

Feminine: She is the heart. She brings her feminine radiance, a lightness, warmth, and high value. It’s about how men feel in her presence.

Can you explain what’s happening for a man emotionally or psychologically when he suddenly goes quiet or distances himself after seeming to be really into a woman?

She probably hasn’t flipped his masculinity switch to inspire him to show up in his a-game and build a life with her. He doesn’t want to be a better man for her.

What advice do you give women who feel confused or rejected when men pull away or disappear after they connected?

We don’t use the word ‘rejected’ because that assumes we know what’s happening in his head. Many times, it has nothing to do with her. However, there is some part she does have responsibility over. We focus on that. We work with her on busting her assumptions and what she can do to let him go. We look for a pattern to understand what her part is. With responsibility comes power.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Take your love life as seriously as you took your college degree and your career. Prepare yourself for a great relationship, for something completely different and better.

Connect With Johnny

IG https://www.instagram.com/johnnyandlara/
Website https://radianceandcourage.com/
Free gift https://johnny-and-lara.mykajabi.com/podcastfreegift

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Reinventing Love and Life After 40

Posted on April 25, 2026 by

Have you thought about reinventing your love and life after 40? Wendy Valentine did, and here’s her inspirational story! — Wendy Valentine reinvented her love and life after 40. She’s the author of Women Waking Up: The Midlife Manifesto for Passion, Purpose, and Play and the host of The Midlife Makeover Show, a top-rated podcast […]

Have you thought about reinventing your love and life after 40? Wendy Valentine did, and here’s her inspirational story!

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Wendy Valentine reinvented her love and life after 40. She’s the author of Women Waking Up: The Midlife Manifesto for Passion, Purpose, and Playand the host of The Midlife Makeover Show, a top-rated podcast for women in midlife. After her divorce at 45, she learned to “marry herself” first—rebuilding her life from the inside out. Now she empowers women to embrace self-love, rediscover joy, and attract relationships rooted in authenticity and alignment.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

What it means to marry yourself before dating after divorce
The FREEDOM Framework for transformation, and how to use it to heal from heartbreak
How to design your ideal relationship and have an amazing life after 40

EP 694: Wendy Valentine – Reinventing Love and Life After 40

You’ve said that one of the best things you ever did was “marry yourself.” What does that mean, and how did that change the way you approached love and relationships?

When I was 45, I got divorced, was unemployed, $150,000 in debt, had chronic lyme disease, and I had a lot of losses at one time. I went through depression and panic attacks for the first time. I started over with everything and didn’t know how to begin. My saving grace was a dream to drive an RV across the country. I went for it, and despite all that I was dealing with, little by little, I took steps towards that dream. It took two years, and now, I’m living my dream.

“Marry yourself” is getting to know yourself. Most of us don’t know our values and what we want and need. Tune into your needs and wants. What does it mean to truly love yourself? Do the work before dating again.

In your book, you share your F.R.E.E.D.O.M. Framework for transformation. How can women use those steps to heal from heartbreak and open up to healthy love again?

After my divorce, freedom meant freedom from money issues, toxic relationships, etc. So I created the FREEDOM Framework, which are the seven steps I took after divorce to heal.

F: free yourself

R: reset your life

E: envision your new future

E: embrace and explore

D: detach from tomorrow

O: own your best self

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Make yourself your forever first date. It’ll all work out. Get to know yourself, take care of yourself. Leap and the net will appear.

Connect With Wendy

Website: https://wendyvalentine.com
Media: https://wendyvalentine.com/media-kit
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wendy_valentine_/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hellowendyvalentine/
Substack: https://wendyvalentine.substack.com

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Love After 50: From First Date to Engagement

Posted on April 25, 2026 by

How do you become more emotionally available in dating? In this episode, we discuss some simple steps you can take today. — Listen to the story of Kat and Shawn, a couple who met in their mid-50s. I worked with Kat before, during, and after she met Shawn, and they are a living example of […]

How do you become more emotionally available in dating? In this episode, we discuss some simple steps you can take today.

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Listen to the story of Kat and Shawn, a couple who met in their mid-50s. I worked with Kat before, during, and after she met Shawn, and they are a living example of how to find love after 50 and make the relationship work. They are engaged, living together, and navigating every up and down that comes with relationships later in life.

In this episode:

What makes a relationship after 50 work well
How to design healthy partnership
Obstacles that come up in relationships and how to work through them
How to know if they’re the right one for you

EP 697: Kat and Shawn – Falling in Love After 50, The Journey From First Date to Engagement

From Kat and Shawn

“We met online in our mid-50s, and the chemistry and compatibility were amazing from the start. We both value good communication and personal and relational growth. When we find ourselves at a crossroads, it’s extremely helpful to work with Sandy. She’s able to hear and understand BOTH our perspectives and helps us consider alternative ways of seeing our challenges. She gives us the tools to continue to build a healthier relationship.

We return to these new insights frequently and appreciate how much better our relationship is with the addition of an expert. She recently helped us overcome a big issue that was keeping us stuck. Later that day, on August 5th we got engaged! We’re grateful for a relationship that feels secure, loving, and supportive.”

Kat and Shawn

Highlights from the podcast

Tell us a little about your past relationships before you two met.

Kat: Divorced twice, running a business, raising two kids. Took a long time off of dating until kids were in college. Used to date guys who shared common interests. Hired me to be more intentional

Shawn: Divorced seven years, dated on and off. Stopped dating a bit before meeting Katherine. Didn’t have a high level of self-awareness or a partner with similar values before meeting Kat.

How did you meet?

Kat: I reached out to Shawn on Match and met for coffee. We were together for ten minutes, then met for a walk the next day. There was chemistry right away, and I had to intentionally slow things down.

Shawn: We had communicated for about a week before meeting, and there was instant chemistry when we met. I loved her humor. So I asked her out again for the next day.

How have you designed your partnership?

We have calendars and schedules. We are our favorite people to be with, but we also make sure to have time outside of the house on our own. We have a travel calendar for travel together and apart. We try to balance all of that. We talk about finances and long range goals.

What are some of the obstacles you’ve faced, and how have you overcome them?

Kat: Slowing down has helped us create a strong foundation to overcome obstacles.

The first disharmony was when I was in Africa for three weeks. It brought up insecure feelings in Shawn. Our insecurities are at the heart of every roadblock.

Shawn: Saying you have insecurity is much different from feeling it. We prioritize honesty above all things. And we agree that omissions are dishonesty. We own our insecurities. We first look at ourselves and ask if it’s something from our past or our triggers.

How has your relationship evolved over the past two years?

Kat: We repair quickly. We try to talk things out as soon as possible. We pray together daily. One of us is always showing up for the other. We have a white couch that we call our therapy couch where we talk everything out. We even created a breakup plan so we have guardrails on our relationship and will seek out three therapy sessions before making a decision to break up.

Blending our finances was challenging. I come from fear/scarcity and Shawn comes from an abundance mindset. I had to challenge childhood beliefs and communicate my fears to Shawn. We both have our teams for support which sometimes is more helpful than speaking to each other.

Shawn: I speak to other men who are committed to their partners, men who will call me out on my BS and be very honest with me.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Kat: What worked great for us was to take things really slow physically. I had a schedule about what was and wasn’t allowed, so the chemistry wouldn’t cloud my judgment.

Shawn: Early on, rigorous and deliberate honesty. Share things that you’re not proud of about yourself. Find a reason to be as honest as possible. It’s one of the most important things you can do. I learned so much about her when I was brave and shared with her.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Why Pleasure is Essential to Wellness (and no longer taboo)

Posted on April 24, 2026 by

Did you know that pleasure is crucial to our wellbeing? My podcast guest, sexologist Tugce Balik, dives deeper into this topic! — Tugce Balik believes that pleasure is essential to our wellness. She blends Western science with Eastern traditions to help people heal, reconnect, and feel at home in their bodies and with each other. […]

Did you know that pleasure is crucial to our wellbeing? My podcast guest, sexologist Tugce Balik, dives deeper into this topic!

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Tugce Balik believes that pleasure is essential to our wellness. She blends Western science with Eastern traditions to help people heal, reconnect, and feel at home in their bodies and with each other. She’s a certified Tibetan Tantra practitioner and an American Board-Certified Sexologist with a focus on healing through embodiment. Her approach is gentle, empowering, and rooted in deep care. To her, pleasure isn’t something you earn. It’s your birthright, your medicine, and her work at Arya helps couples remember exactly that.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

Why pleasure is moving from taboo to essential wellness
Why 57% of couples can’t talk about sex—and practical ways to bridge that divide
How intimacy impacts stress, hormones, and overall relationship satisfaction
How technology can help couples approach once-uncomfortable conversations
Arya’s Erotic Personas and how they can help partners understand each other

EP 686: Tugce Balik – Why Pleasure is Essential to Wellness (and no longer taboo)

Why do you think pleasure is moving from taboo to essential wellness?

We’re in the second wave of the wellness movement. First we were taking care of our bodies and our personal care. Now, we understand our sexuality is a huge part of our whole self. We can’t just separate them. Many of us have had sexual trauma or taboo in our past. That’s why I’m so passionate about helping people see how important pleasure is.

Why do 57% of couples struggle to talk about sex—and what are practical ways to bridge that divide?

Do we know ourselves well enough to communicate our needs and desires. Begin with the connection you have with each other. Schedule time with your partner. Be present with each other and create safety in each other’s bodies. Sit across from each other, breathe together, gaze into each other’s eyes, and coregulate. Then, you can have a hard conversation. Frame it as an invitation with curiosity. We have an intimacy deck of cards that help the conversation.

If you’re in the middle of sex and you don’t like something, pause, start with appreciation first and then guide them to what would make it even better. You can use your hand or their hand to show them what you like. You can also demo it on their body.

For anyone entering a relationship later in life, how can we deal with post-menopause issues or erectile dysfuntion?

Have a conversation before sex to explain what you need to have more pleasure. Talk about lube and whatever else you need. More pauses and breaks? And with men who have erectile dysfunction, there are many causes, and it happens at all ages. It’s important first to find out the root cause of the dysfunction. If it’s physical, you can work with a pelvic floor specialist or talk to your doctor about what you can do. If you’re going through stress, your hormones are affected.

Also, what does your self-pleasure routine look like? That impacts how you have sex. Cultivate a pleasure routine that’s not just centered on orgasm.

How does technology help couples approach once-uncomfortable conversations?

Everyone has different intimacy languages. Technology helps identify their play styles and erotic desires. The more information we have, the better it is. When you know your patterns, you can explore more. We give monthly guided experiences to couples based on their patterns and personas.

What are Arya’s Erotic Personas and how do they help partners understand each other?

The categories are: The romantic prioritizes intimacy and connection, focuses on the journey. The directors enjoy more spontaneous sex, straightforward, goal oriented towards orgasm. The connectors prioritize sensuality and stimulation. The adventurers are into kink and variety.

The pairings are interesting, and it’s also good to see that we’re not always what we thought we were.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Recenter yourself rather than centering on the other person. Be less hyper-focused on what they think of you, and focus more on how you’re feeling in the presence of the other person. Ask, “What does this person bring out in me?”

Connect with Tugce:

Tugce IG: https://www.instagram.com/iamtugcebalik/
Arya IG: https://www.instagram.com/arya.fyi/
Arya website: https://www.arya.fyi/join/

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

How to Navigate Power Dynamics and Control in Relationships

Posted on April 23, 2026 by

Power dynamics and control can change in relationships over time. How can we navigate these changes? Tune in to this episode to find out. — How can couples navigate power dynamics and control in relationships? Bonnie Comfort has been a practicing psychologist for 30 years. She has an MSW from the University of Manitoba and […]

Power dynamics and control can change in relationships over time. How can we navigate these changes? Tune in to this episode to find out.

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How can couples navigate power dynamics and control in relationships? Bonnie Comfort has been a practicing psychologist for 30 years. She has an MSW from the University of Manitoba and a PhD in psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology Los Angeles. As an expert on marital therapy, she has been a guest multiple times on podcasts about marriage and has taken extensive workshops with marital and sex experts.

In this episode:

How to recognize the shift in power dynamics and control in your relationship
How people in non-traditional relationships can design a healthy relationship
How to approach sexual incompatibility in a relationship
What to do if you tend to prioritize your partner’s needs over your own to create a more balanced relationship
How can you overcome sexual insecurities

EP 663: Bonnie Comfort – How to Navigate Power Dynamics and Control in Relationships

Why did you decide to write this memoir and share such private and vulnerable information about your relationship with your late husband, especially as a therapist?

I struggled with the question of how my patients might feel reading it, but I wanted people to know that even psychologists continue to struggle in relationships. There’s a lot about my story that’s valuable in general.

Power dynamics and control can subtly shift in relationships. How can people recognize these changes, and what did you observe in your own marriage?

The shift may come inside of you, as in my marriage, I began to feel more equal to him after idealizing him for so long. I had been in his shadow. It took work for me to stand up and for him to respect who I became. There are so many fights that can come up in relationships, especially when it comes to parenting. Expect the ebb and flow of a relationship.

Sexual incompatibility can be a sensitive topic for couples. How can they approach these conversations constructively? What are signs that an issue can be resolved versus deeper incompatibilities?

It helps to have a sex therapist in the room with you in order to discuss sexual incompatibility. It’s fragile territory. The conversations require tactful honesty. Instead of saying what you don’t like, say what you’d like to try. The most important thing is kind curiosity. “I’m curious how you came to love sex in this way.”

Women are often conditioned to prioritize their partner’s needs over their own. How can they recognize and break free from these patterns to create more balanced relationships?

Be brave about disappointing your partner, and tolerate the disappointment. In a simple way, start tuning into your own needs and working through disappointing others. Own what you want. It’s an important price to pay.

Sexual confidence is a challenge for many women. What advice do you have for overcoming insecurities and embracing empowerment in intimacy?

I had felt defective sexually my whole life, partly because of mainstream media, and partly because of my first experience sexually. I began studying sex and sexual issues. I came across a book, Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. I was stunned to read that only 20 percent of women can orgasm through intercourse alone. It’s biological. I learned there was nothing wrong with me. I had faked orgasm with men I was dating, and I felt terrible about it.

Work on letting go of shame, because it keeps you quiet. It takes work to let go of body shame or the feeling that there’s something wrong with you. Use gentle curiosity and discuss what you like and what your partner likes. Experiment and see how it goes. Empathy is the magic bullet that helps a couple get through hard times.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

It varies by age. What you’re looking for changes. Is this person compatible for the stage of life you’re in? Trust your gut and your inner knowing if there’s a definite no or a definite maybe. Learn whether the things that matter most are there. Create your own happiness, too. And know your deal breakers.

Connect with Bonnie

Website – https://bonniecomfort.com/
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/bonniecomfortauthor
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61570054590355
LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/bonnie-comfort-864b10b/

Watch this episode on YouTube here

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

How to Be More Dateable

Posted on April 22, 2026 by

Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu believe everyone is dateable. If you’re struggling with modern dating, you must listen to this episode! — Want to know how to be more dateable? Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu are active daters turned dating insiders, and top influential voices of modern dating, relationships, and connection in the digital world. […]

Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu believe everyone is dateable. If you’re struggling with modern dating, you must listen to this episode!

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Want to know how to be more dateable? Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu are active daters turned dating insiders, and top influential voices of modern dating, relationships, and connection in the digital world. They’re the authors of How To Be Dateable and the co-hosts of the hit podcast Dateable, which has been named one of the top podcasts about modern dating and relationships by the New York Times, The Huffington Post, Oprah Daily, and more.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

What is “dating on your own terms”?
What the four dating archetypes represent: Achiever, Dreamer, Energizer, Maverick, and Thinker
Some of the traps that get in the way of finding your person
One of their favorite exercises from the book
Some of the key points they’re hoping readers will take away from the book

EP 645: Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu – How to Be More Dateable

How is your book different from other dating books out there?

We needed to let people know we don’t need to stay in the confines of modern dating. We hope it empowers people to date on their own terms. There’s so much negativity that doesn’t bring us to connection. There is a better way to date.

Tell us about the four dating archetypes that help you become more dateable.

Achiever: Go after what they want, achieve a lot. Downside is they’re not always present. They want to keep things going to get to the next stage.

Dreamer: Wears their heart on their sleeve, they make great partners because they’re so warm. Where it doesn’t serve is getting lost in the fantasy by seeing the best in them and giving too many chances.

Energizer: Go, go, go daters. Back to back dates. Endless energy on dates. Downside is they don’t take time to pause and reflect on what works for them. All their energy is out, not in. They get drained.

Maverick: Very independent, high standards for self and others, hold your own in relationship, but runs at first sign of something hard to not get hurt. Needs to learn to run towards the person by getting curious and getting information instead of misinterpreting.

Thinker: They overthink, hesitate, are all in their head. They are people who think things through and are open to conversation. Downside is they go into analysis paralysis. They can lose track of the big picture.

What are some of the traps that get in the way of finding your person?

We believe everyone is dateable. What gets in our way is the traps of the modern dating culture.

The Expectation of Love on Demand: We are in a fast culture. Uber, Amazon, Ubereats are all immediate. We often date like that, looking for an immediate spark.

Settling Paradox: This is where you don’t want to settle for the wrong person, but you settle for bad behavior.

Validation Trap: Because of the mentality that you’re winning if you’re in a relationship and losing if you’re single put so much pressure on dating. We seek validation, but we’re not always aware of that.

Relationship Chicken: We do everything in dating that’s the opposite of what we do in a relationship. Fox example, we play games with texting and waiting longer than the other. How can we treat dating as we would treat someone in a relationship.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Don’t think about dates as first date. Anything can happen in life. Life doesn’t happen in a linear fashion. Bring your best self to every first date, and treat your relationship as a series of first dates. Be yourself, not a ‘date persona’. That’s when the right people come to fruition.

Connect With Yue and Julie

The book and free quiz: https://howtobedateable.com
Website https://dateablepodcast.com
IG @dateablepodcast

Watch this episode on Youtube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

How to Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test

Posted on April 22, 2026 by

Learn the keys to lasting love in this podcast episode with Nick Brancato. Whether you’re single or partnered, this is for you! — Are you interested in unlocking the keys to lasting love? My podcast guest, Nick Brancato, is a personal development coach and educator with over 25 years of experience helping individuals and couples […]

Learn the keys to lasting love in this podcast episode with Nick Brancato. Whether you’re single or partnered, this is for you!

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Are you interested in unlocking the keys to lasting love? My podcast guest, Nick Brancato, is a personal development coach and educator with over 25 years of experience helping individuals and couples connect, communicate, and thrive. With a master’s degree in education and a background as a Microsoft systems engineer, Nick blends practical tools with data-driven frameworks to guide people through life’s challenges, including career shifts, financial pressures, and personal growth. He’s also the author of Prioritize Us: Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

Why so many couples experience a “priority drift” and how they can they prevent it
Some simple, actionable steps couples can start applying right away to realign priorities
Why individual self-awareness is such a critical component of alignment in relationships
How aligning priorities within a partnership ripples out to positively impact families and communities
The Total Difference Score (TDS) framework and its practical applications

EP 669: Nick Brancato – How to Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test

Why do so many couples experience what you refer to as “priority drift,” and how can they prevent it?

The “priority drift” is when two people have similar priorities at the beginning of a relationship, they begin to drift apart, and they don’t discuss their priorities until there’s a crisis. Discussing your shared priorities on an ongoing basis with check ins is key to a lasting loving relationship.

What are some simple, actionable steps couples can start applying right away to realign priorities?

Check in on your individual priorities. In the book there are ten core priorities in life. Rank them in terms of importance. Doing the assessment helps us focus on the top priorities and how we spend our time focused on our priorities. To avoid priority drift, check with your partner – small, medium, and large check ins. The rules are – No screens and no talking about other people. A small check in might be over coffee in the morning. Discuss decisions that you’re making. Ask each other what are your top three priorities on a regular basis. Be curious and open to understand each other.

Why is individual self-awareness such a critical component of alignment in relationships?

If you don’t know yourself, it’s impossible to know other people. You may think you know them, but you don’t. Know your priorities. List them, rank them, and ask yourself how satisfied you are with each priority. How am I using my time, energy and money in alignment with your values. In your relationship, that will be so impactful.

How does aligning priorities within a partnership ripple out to positively impact families and communities?

As you become more aligned with yourself and your relationship, you start to ask better questions of others. You become more curious and empathetic. You understand people’s motives. You communicate better.

Can you explain the Total Difference Score (TDS) framework and its practical applications?

The TDS score is the result of the Prioritize Us test. It measures the strength of your relationship and how aligned you are. It helps you learn to communicate better by ranking your 10 core priorities, and your partner ranks theirs, and then comparing them. The TDS is your compared score. Once you know where you differ, you can communicate about them and improve your relationship.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Relationships take work, but you don’t have to have perfect alignment. You need small meaningful adjustments. Work on yourself and who you want to be in order to attract your last first date!

Watch this episode here on YouTube

Connect with Nick

IG https://www.instagram.com/personaldevcoach/
Website https://nickbrancato.com/
Get an ebook of Prioritize Us for FREE at https://www.nickbrancato.com/prioritize-us
Buy the paperback or hardcover book, Prioritize Us: Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test https://amzn.to/45XJ460

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

How to Rebuild Trust When a Relationship Hits Rock Bottom

Posted on April 20, 2026 by

How can a couple rebuild trust after betrayal or any trauma? When a relationship hits rock bottom, is there hope? Find out on this podcast. — How can you rebuild trust when a relationship has hit rock bottom? My podcast guests, Joanna and Matthew Raabsmith, have lived to tell the tale. They are sought-after relationship […]

How can a couple rebuild trust after betrayal or any trauma? When a relationship hits rock bottom, is there hope? Find out on this podcast.

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How can you rebuild trust when a relationship has hit rock bottom? My podcast guests, Joanna and Matthew Raabsmith, have lived to tell the tale. They are sought-after relationship experts, speakers, and authors who help high-achieving couples rebuild trust and create deeply connected relationships after betrayal. They co-lead The Raabsmith Team, a coaching collective offering transformative coaching, programs and community support.

In this episode:

How to rebuild trust and connection after infidelity or trauma when you feel hopeless
How couples misunderstand how to begin healing after hitting rock bottom
What is meaningful honesty in relationships?

EP 698: Joanna and Matthew Raabsmith – How to Rebuild Trust When a Relationship Hits Rock Bottom

For couples who feel hopeless right now, what are some practical ways for them to start on a path back to healing, trust and connection?

We use our intimacy pyramid framework:

The bottom level is honesty. You have to get honest with yourself and with each other about your past and how you’re showing up now. It’s also about self-acceptance.

The next level is safety. There’s no safety without honesty. Each partner commits to doing something about the issues that are breaking down. Be aware of your emotional experience and work on your own regulation.

The next level is trust. Here’s where you have goals and a shared vision to move into the hard places together.

The next level is vulnerability, which leads to intimacy. You open up more about the more fragile parts of yourself.

What happens emotionally and relationally for couples who hit rock bottom?

There are scenarios where only one person has been doing the work, and the other partner either steps up or the relationship can end. There are other scenarios where there has been a major rupture.There needs to be repair for the relationship to be restored. Are both partners willing to show up with new levels of honesty and safety? You need awareness and responsibility.

After betrayal or deep rupture, what does meaningful honesty really look like, and what’s the difference between sharing information and rebuilding connection?

Honesty is a proactive action. You don’t wait to be asked the right question to get the right answer. You’re driven to be open and honest about destructive behaviors before getting asked. You have to be willing to be honest with yourself first. Know yourself so you can share honestly. Join groups to help you share honestly.

How can couples begin rebuilding trust when emotions are still raw?

Start with safety and stabilization to begin the healing when emotions are still raw. It’s not the time to dive into the deepest pain, but it’s important to build support and structure.

What positive outcomes have you seen emerge when couples are willing to do the deeper healing work after betrayal?

It’s one of the greatest gifts to see the positive results of couples we’ve helped. They’ve built a lasting connection. We have a yearly retreat with couples we’ve helped. They sometimes help other couples because of the results they’ve achieved. They experience passion, purpose and play. They are breaking patterns from generations before.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Get to know yourself, who you are, your values, what you want in a relationship, and what it takes to build that. You want to find a person who will build that with you. Look for someone who is open to personal growth.

Connect with the Raabsmiths

Website: raabsmithteam.com
Instagram: @theraabsmithteam
Grab your free Couples Honest Connection Guide to help you better connect both with yourself as you grow in personal awareness and with your partner as you increase your relational closeness.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

How to Feel Safe in Your Romantic Relationships

Posted on April 18, 2026 by

If you want to feel safe in your romantic relationships, Jessica Baum wrote a wonderful book on this topic. Tune in to learn more. — Do you feel safe in your relationships? Most of us struggle with feelings of security and safety. Enter my guest, Jessica Baum, a licensed psychotherapist and author of SAFE—Coming Home […]

If you want to feel safe in your romantic relationships, Jessica Baum wrote a wonderful book on this topic. Tune in to learn more.

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Do you feel safe in your relationships? Most of us struggle with feelings of security and safety. Enter my guest, Jessica Baum, a licensed psychotherapist and author of SAFE—Coming Home to Yourself and Others and Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love. She explores the “Whys” of life: why we feel, connect, and experience the world the way we do. This passion led her to specialize in trauma, attachment theory, and interpersonal neurobiology. She believes that connection to ourselves and others is at the heart of healing, and she uses a range of modalities to help individuals and couples return to wholeness. She’s the founder of the Relationship Institute of Palm Beach, and she leads the Conscious Relationship Group, a global coaching company offering support to clients worldwide.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

How early attachment patterns develop and how they can make us feel unsafe in our closest relationships
How to stop reenacting the core wound of abandonment in our adult relationships
How to start building “earned security” if you didn’t grow up with it
How implicit memory shapes our attraction patterns and relational choices
How to recognize when you’re pushing away the very connection you say you want

EP 689: Jessica Baum – How to Feel Safe in Your Romantic Relationships

How do early attachment patterns develop, and how can they make us feel unsafe in our closest relationships?

We develop these patterns in infancy. When our parents have emotional presence and attunement, we have more secure attachment. If there’s stress or anxiety or inconsistency, we develop insecure attachment in our closest relationships.

A common theme for all insecure attachment styles is the theme of abandonment. What does it take to stop reenacting that core wound in our adult relationships?

A core wound is a feeling that happens when we’re very young. They live deeply embedded in our bodies. To heal, we anchor and hold the original event in our bodies. If your parents were struggling or fighting, as young children, we sense something is off and think it’s something wrong with us. It’s a way to develop an adaptive strategy to survive. Be with those parts. Understand them. We can’t heal without adult anchoring. You don’t do it alone. You can co-anchor with others, not just therapists.

How can someone start building “earned security” if they didn’t grow up with it?

Seek out safe people in your life to help build earned security and a felt sense of safety in relationships.

What is implicit memory, and how does it shape our attraction patterns and relational choices?

Implicit memories are sensations in the body that happen when we’re young and we’re not met to process hard feelings. These patterns are stored in our bodies. When you feel something is off in your body, these are implicit memories. That starts to change the relationship you have with the wound. That gets to the root of the attachment wound.

How can people recognize when they’re pushing away the very connection they say they want?

If we grew up in a home with a lot of neglect or chaos, it feels uncomfortable to our nervous system to have someone safe in our lives. It feels foreign. When you experience safety over and over again, you’re more comfortable with safe people who truly see you.

What does it mean to carry multiple attachment styles or patterns—what do they feel like, and why is that important to know?

One of the free gifts I’m giving you is “beyond the labels”, which is the Wheel of Attachment. In one household we can have all the patterns of attachment. When you understand attachment in a more wholistic and organic way, we can show up with many different attachment styles or patterns. We show up differently with different people in childhood and adulthood.

What’s one practice from SAFE that listeners can start using today if they feel stuck, lonely, or overwhelmed?

Source safety from the past. If you have a safe person or even a pet or someone from your past, you can go into those memories as to what it feels like to feel safe. This is how we recognize warmth, consistently, and reliability.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Get curious about what feels unsafe and safe when you date. Dating is complicated. Go as slow as possible. Process as truthfully as possible.

Connect with Jessica Baum

Facebook
Instagram
LinkedIn
Free gifts: 40-minute conversation with Jessica and her mentor Bonnie about going from insecurity to security and the Wheel of Attachment: https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/interview

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

How to Reignite Desire and Emotional Connection in Midlife Dating and Relationships

Posted on April 17, 2026 by

How do you reignite desire and emotional connection in midlife and beyond? Tune in to Last First Date Radio to hear Andre Lazarus! — How do you reignite desire and emotional connection in midlife dating and relationships? Andre Lazarus has the answers! He is a Somatic Intimacy Guide and relationship expert featured on the UK […]

How do you reignite desire and emotional connection in midlife and beyond? Tune in to Last First Date Radio to hear Andre Lazarus!

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How do you reignite desire and emotional connection in midlife dating and relationships? Andre Lazarus has the answers! He is a Somatic Intimacy Guide and relationship expert featured on the UK TV series Virgin Island. He helps individuals and couples reconnect with desire, build emotional safety, and communicate openly about intimacy. Through embodied practices rooted in the Somatica® Method, Andre supports people in midlife and beyond to create passionate, secure, and deeply fulfilling relationships.

In this episode:

What is embodied intimacy
How couples in long-term relationships rediscover desire when the spark fades
How to create safety and connection in intimacy

EP 708: Andre Lazarus – How to Reignite Desire and Emotional Connection in Midlife Dating and Relationships

Highlights of this Episode

André’s Background

André Lazarus: intimacy coach, ex-military, moved from security/tech into embodied intimacy work.
Based in Barcelona; has experience with therapeutic intimate practices and tantra-influenced approaches.
Offers online courses and a free resource for embodied loving via his website.

Embodied Intimacy & Coaching Approach

Embodied/somatic intimacy = focusing on bodily sensations over cognitive/goal-oriented sex.
Coaching emphasizes presence, practicing communication, boundary/consent skills, and gradual somatic work.
Reframes sex beyond penetration/orgasm; values slow, varied, non-goal-oriented sexual experiences.

Midlife Relationships & Alternatives

Midlife often brings increased self-awareness, willingness to change, and reassessment of relationships.
Alternatives (non-monogamy, relationship agreements) can be viable options when sexual needs differ.
Communication, curiosity, and incremental exploration are recommended before major decisions.

Trauma-informed Care & Starting Steps

Sexual trauma requires trauma-informed, qualified support; combine talk therapy with embodied modalities.
Practical starter step: list what’s working vs. missing in intimacy, then pick a first actionable step (research, discovery call, workshop).
Trust intuition when choosing practitioners; request discovery calls and check references/testimonials.

Watch on YouTube

Connect With Andre

Website: https://www.coming-closer.com/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/coming-closer/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/comingcloserwithandre/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@comingcloserwithandre
Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/comingcloserwithandre?_rdc=1&_rdr#

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate