If you’re seeking more satisfaction in your intimate relationship, you’re going to love this episode of Last First Date Radio! — Want to have a more satisfying intimate relationship? My podcast guest, Keeley Rankin is a sex and relationship coach, and she helps individuals and couples shed shame, access pleasure and step into their authentic […]

If you’re seeking more satisfaction in your intimate relationship, you’re going to love this episode of Last First Date Radio!

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Want to have a more satisfying intimate relationship? My podcast guest, Keeley Rankin is a sex and relationship coach, and she helps individuals and couples shed shame, access pleasure and step into their authentic and real erotic selves. She has two online courses, Keeley Sex Class and Premature Ejaculation Training Mastery Course, and she mentors and supervises up-and-coming sex coaches and facilitates workshops for colleagues and the general public.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• Why so many people struggle to have a satisfying sex life
• One thing people can do today to make sex more satisfying and fun
• How to work through performance anxiety
• What couples can do to keep sex feeling fresh

EP 634 : Keeley Rankin – How to Have a More Satisfying Intimate Relationship

Why do so many people struggle to have a satisfying sex life?

It’s really about people’s relationship with pleasure. I ask clients how they have pleasure in the rest of their lives. Many people do things that look like pleasure, like yoga and massages, but the truth is it’s a ‘should’, and it’s not filled with pleasure. Many of us withhold pleasure. When it comes to sex, it can feel like a ‘should’, too.

What is one thing people can do today to make sex more satisfying and fun?

The first step is to acknowledge what’s true. Notice your struggle with pleasure and putting it on the back burner. In my new course, I help people enjoy pleasure more fully. I start with mindset, deconstructing social ideas about pleasure, looking at our history. We need to listen to our bodies. Sex is meant to be fun. Eroticism is adult play.

How do you work through performance anxiety?

Performance anxiety is often related to pressure that it has to look a certain way or it won’t be good or fun. It’s important to talk about it with your partner. As our bodies change and they look different as we age, many people are afraid to be seen by their partner. Communicate before sex about your fears or what the other person can expect. You can ask a partner with performance anxiety, “Is this normal for you?” If they don’t tell the truth, that’s okay. There’s a lot of shame. Create a safe space. Return to play and what is pleasurable.

Is it normal to not want to have sex?

Our eroticism is always shifting and changing. Instead of trying to catch up to how things used to be, accept that our bodies and emotional needs are always shifting. Remain curious and open. Let go of how it’s ‘supposed to be’. Find pleasure in new ways. Learn how to communicate your needs and desires.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Raise your expectations and see the person in front of you.

Connect with Keeley

• Website www.keeleyrankin.com
• Course www.keeleyrankin.com/sex-class Enter coupon code LASTFIRSTDATE15 at checkout for 15% off for one week only
• IG @KeeleyRankinIntimacyCoachFree Gift Conflict to Connection Mini course https://www.keeleyrankin.com/free

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Stop venting to ChatGPT during divorce. Tune in to this episode to find out why this is a bad idea and what to do instead! — Do you vent to ChatGPT during your divorce? Kirk Stange is here to advise you about why this is a bad idea. He is the President and Founding Partner […]

Stop venting to ChatGPT during divorce. Tune in to this episode to find out why this is a bad idea and what to do instead!

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Do you vent to ChatGPT during your divorce? Kirk Stange is here to advise you about why this is a bad idea. He is the President and Founding Partner of Stange Law Firm, PC. Since founding the firm in 2007, he has helped grow it into a multi-state law firm while overseeing strategic growth, operations, and leadership. A frequent legal educator and published author, Kirk has received numerous professional honors throughout his career.

In this episode:

• Safe and productive ways AI can be used during divorce
• Why divorcing spouses should think carefully before typing sensitive information into AI chatbots
• The types of ChatGPT conversations that could potentially create legal complications in divorce proceedings

EP 722: Kirk Stange – Why You Need to Stop Venting to ChatGPT During Your Divorce

Highlights of this episode:

AI risks in divorce

• Inputs to ChatGPT/AI are not privileged or confidential and can potentially be discovered in litigation.
• Opposing parties can subpoena AI providers or find AI-generated content, though obtaining it may be costly and time-consuming.
• Avoid typing admissions of wrongdoing, hidden assets, affairs, substance abuse, or any information that would harm your case.
• Using someone else’s account or accessing their device can create legal/ethical problems (possible hacking).
• AI can produce admissions that have been used by police/prosecutors in criminal matters — similar risks exist in family law.

AI benefits & safe use

• AI is useful for drafting, improving tone, organizing custody/financial notes, and reducing hostile language in communications.
• Helpful for people who struggle with writing or need immediate, between-session support.
• To get useful output, provide complete and accurate context; AI only works with the input given.
• Prefer using AI for neutral drafting and tone adjustments; avoid feeding sensitive or potentially incriminating details.
• Privileged conversations (legal, medical, therapy) are better had with professionals who can protect confidentiality.

Privacy, social media & digital evidence

• Social media posts, memes, party photos, or negative comments about the other parent can harm custody and credibility.
• Parenting plans often prohibit speaking negatively about the other parent to children — public posts can violate that.
• Consider minimizing social media activity during proceedings and avoid posts that could be construed as unstable or irresponsible.
• AI searchability and industry encouragement to be more “searchable” is a risk; keep private matters off public-facing tools.

 Divorce process, mediation & practical advice

• Divorce is often more complex than expected: property/debt division, custody schedules, child support, maintenance, attorney fees — all must be resolved.
• Cases may agree on most issues but require 100% agreement to settle; unresolved issues lead to delay and court backlog.
• Mediation can work but has pitfalls: court-ordered or attorney-less mediation may produce suboptimal outcomes; caucus-style mediation with attorneys often works better.
• Beware “quick, cheap, flat-fee” solutions when children or significant assets are involved. Property division is largely non-modifiable.
• Practical coping advice: choose an attorney who fits your goals, pursue counseling, stay positive, engage in productive activities, and avoid being all-consumed by the case.

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Connect With Kirk Stange

• Website https://www.stangelawfirm.com/ 
• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/stangelawfirm 
• X https://x.com/Stangelawfirm
• Instagram https://www.instagram.com/stangelawfirm/

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Send me your dating dilemmas to be featured in an upcoming episode: https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, apply for a complimentary 30-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

It’s never too late to rewrite your happily ever after. Author, Laurie Collister shares her inspiring story on the podcast. — Laurie Collister is living proof you can rewrite your happily ever after. She is a counselor, journalist, and debut memoirist. After graduating from Kenyon College, she worked as a litigation paralegal, market analyst, investigative […]

It’s never too late to rewrite your happily ever after. Author, Laurie Collister shares her inspiring story on the podcast.

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Laurie Collister is living proof you can rewrite your happily ever after. She is a counselor, journalist, and debut memoirist. After graduating from Kenyon College, she worked as a litigation paralegal, market analyst, investigative journalist, and, most recently, as a counselor on LA’s skid row. In this checkerboard of professions, she learned how to harvest the hidden – key to penning A Different Kind of Vow: Rewriting My Happily After, due out April 7, 2026, as well as The Last Home on the Left, about her fourteen years working on skid row, to be published in May 2027. Laurie lives with her extended family and dog Bella on a cul-de-sac in Los Angeles.

In this episode:

• What is the “other kind of vow”?
• Learning about love in your 30s and 40s
• How journaling can change your life

EP 704: Laurie Collister – Rewriting Your Happily Ever After

Highlights of this episode

A Different Type of Vow and Relationship Insight

• Laurie coined “A Different Type of Vow”: prioritize a personal purpose/sacred vow over seeking marriage as your primary identity.
• Focusing on personal purpose prevents losing oneself in relationships and attracting mismatched partners.
• Warning against the giver-taker dynamic; build relationships with mutual healing and shared goals.

Spiritual Journey and Career Shift

• Laurie pursued a spiritual quest, worked at an international Hindu organization, and learned self-love through meditation.
• Transitioned to counseling (master’s degree) and worked 14 years on Skid Row helping clients find vocation and home.
• Found belonging and purpose in community work rather than in romantic relationships.

Journaling and Self-Discovery

• Uses long-term journaling to gain objectivity, uncover patterns, relieve emotional pressure, and guide life decisions.
• Journaling helped Laurie identify hidden emotions (e.g., rage) and contributed to creative output and healing.

Cultural Critique and Practical Advice

• Argues the “American Dream” script needs rewriting to focus on shared values, growth orientation, and mutual goals rather than a one-size-fits-all checklist.
• Advice for those wanting to be happily single: anchor yourself in your sacred contract/purpose; seek love in multiple forms; avoid entering relationships from scarcity.

Connect with Laurie:

• Website https://lauriecollister.com

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How do you reignite desire and emotional connection in midlife and beyond? Tune in to Last First Date Radio to hear Andre Lazarus! — How do you reignite desire and emotional connection in midlife dating and relationships? Andre Lazarus has the answers! He is a Somatic Intimacy Guide and relationship expert featured on the UK […]

How do you reignite desire and emotional connection in midlife and beyond? Tune in to Last First Date Radio to hear Andre Lazarus!

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How do you reignite desire and emotional connection in midlife dating and relationships? Andre Lazarus has the answers! He is a Somatic Intimacy Guide and relationship expert featured on the UK TV series Virgin Island. He helps individuals and couples reconnect with desire, build emotional safety, and communicate openly about intimacy. Through embodied practices rooted in the Somatica® Method, Andre supports people in midlife and beyond to create passionate, secure, and deeply fulfilling relationships.

In this episode:

• What is embodied intimacy
• How couples in long-term relationships rediscover desire when the spark fades
• How to create safety and connection in intimacy

EP 708: Andre Lazarus – How to Reignite Desire and Emotional Connection in Midlife Dating and Relationships

Highlights of this Episode

André’s Background

• André Lazarus: intimacy coach, ex-military, moved from security/tech into embodied intimacy work.
• Based in Barcelona; has experience with therapeutic intimate practices and tantra-influenced approaches.
• Offers online courses and a free resource for embodied loving via his website.

Embodied Intimacy & Coaching Approach

• Embodied/somatic intimacy = focusing on bodily sensations over cognitive/goal-oriented sex.
• Coaching emphasizes presence, practicing communication, boundary/consent skills, and gradual somatic work.
• Reframes sex beyond penetration/orgasm; values slow, varied, non-goal-oriented sexual experiences.

Midlife Relationships & Alternatives

• Midlife often brings increased self-awareness, willingness to change, and reassessment of relationships.
• Alternatives (non-monogamy, relationship agreements) can be viable options when sexual needs differ.
• Communication, curiosity, and incremental exploration are recommended before major decisions.

Trauma-informed Care & Starting Steps

• Sexual trauma requires trauma-informed, qualified support; combine talk therapy with embodied modalities.
• Practical starter step: list what’s working vs. missing in intimacy, then pick a first actionable step (research, discovery call, workshop).
• Trust intuition when choosing practitioners; request discovery calls and check references/testimonials.

Watch on YouTube

Connect With Andre

• Website: https://www.coming-closer.com/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/coming-closer/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/comingcloserwithandre/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@comingcloserwithandre
• Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/comingcloserwithandre?_rdc=1&_rdr#

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Learn practical steps to develop secure attachment. Discover how to calm triggers, express needs, and choose healthier relationships. — If you’ve spent decades navigating relationships—marriages, partnerships, dating, or even long stretches of independence—you may have noticed certain patterns in how you connect. Maybe you get anxious when someone pulls away, or you shut down when […]

Learn practical steps to develop secure attachment. Discover how to calm triggers, express needs, and choose healthier relationships.

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If you’ve spent decades navigating relationships—marriages, partnerships, dating, or even long stretches of independence—you may have noticed certain patterns in how you connect. Maybe you get anxious when someone pulls away, or you shut down when things feel too close. These patterns aren’t about “what’s wrong with you”. They’re about attachment styles.

The good news? Attachment style isn’t fixed. Even in midlife and beyond, you can slowly, gently rewire yourself toward secure attachment. It’s not a light switch. It’s a process. And it begins with how you relate to yourself. Here are five steps to develop secure attachment.

How to Develop Secure Attachment and Build Deeper Connections

1. Notice Your Triggers With Compassion

Pay attention to your body’s signals when you feel unsettled. Maybe your chest tightens when a call doesn’t come, or you panic when someone wants too much closeness. Instead of labeling yourself as “too much” or “too distant,” simply pause and name what you’re feeling in your body:

“I’m activated. My nervous system thinks I’m unsafe.”

That gentle recognition takes you out of autopilot and into awareness, which is a big step toward secure attachment.

2. Learn to Calm Your Own Storms

Being securely attached doesn’t mean you never get rattled. It means you’ve built tools to steady yourself when you do. Breathing deeply, journaling, grounding with nature, stretching, or moving your body—these practices re-teach your system that intensity doesn’t have to equal danger.

Every time you self-soothe, you reinforce safety inside yourself.

3. Dare to Voice Your Needs

For many women, especially over 50, the idea of “needing too much” has been ingrained. But securely attached people aren’t afraid to be honest. Say things like:

“I miss you.” or

“I need a little space right now.”

These small truths open the door to deeper trust. The right people won’t reject you for them—they’ll appreciate your honesty.

4. Choose Steady People, Not Rollercoasters

You can’t create security with someone who thrives on inconsistency. True safety grows in relationships where people keep showing up—not just for the fun moments but also for the hard ones.

If someone leaves you spinning in uncertainty, that’s your signal: don’t chase stability where it doesn’t exist. Plant yourself in relationships that feel solid, not shaky.

5. Focus on Repair, Not Perfection

Conflict is inevitable. What matters is how you reconnect after. Instead of expecting perfection, practice repair with phrases like:

“I got defensive. Can we start over?” or

“That stung, and I want to work it out with you.”

Each repair is a step toward building trust. Over time, these small moments create the foundation of real security.

Becoming securely attached in midlife is about re-parenting yourself while choosing relationships that feel steady. It’s about teaching your body, over and over again, that closeness can be safe and distance doesn’t mean abandonment.

With time, calm replaces chaos, trust replaces fear, and love becomes less about survival—and more about the joy of going on your last first date.

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If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with me and explore how private coaching can help! https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join my free Facebook group, Your Last First Date https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of my books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating: Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love.

What are some communication patterns that make or break a relationship? Tune in to this episode with Julie Nise to learn more. — Let’s talk about communication patterns that make or break a relationship. My podcast guest, Julie Nise, is a Relationship Trainer and Communication Strategist known for her direct, results-oriented approach. She has helped […]

What are some communication patterns that make or break a relationship? Tune in to this episode with Julie Nise to learn more.

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Let’s talk about communication patterns that make or break a relationship. My podcast guest, Julie Nise, is a Relationship Trainer and Communication Strategist known for her direct, results-oriented approach. She has helped over 8,000 individuals and couples through challenges in communication, trust, and leadership. She has appeared on the Dr. Phil Show multiple times, and she’s a regular commentator on NewsRadio KTRH in Houston.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• Common communication mistakes couples make
• How to strengthen your relationships
• How relationship coaching differs from therapy

EP 690: Julie Nise – Communication Patterns That Destroy or Create Connection

What are some of the most common communication mistakes you see couples make, and how can they fix them?

Women and men don’t understand each other. Expectations need to change with couples. We need to learn each other’s communication styles and develop an appreciation for each other’s way of communicating. 

Men generally communicate around tasks (watching a game, bowling, doing an activity). Women tend to just talk in general. Men should not assume women want them to fix things. Women should not assume men want to hear long stories. State at the outset what you want from each other.

Sorting by distinction and sorting by agreement. Women tend to sort by disagreement first. Men tend to agree first. For women who do that, leave the “yeah buts” at the door. Start with agreement. 

Also, there is a pattern of being internal vs external. Come outside your head and notice what’s going on in front of you. Our perceptions are usually widely off. Be lovingly curious. 

How does your approach to relationship coaching differ from traditional therapy?

I am outcome oriented. I deal with the present and future to achieve outcomes. I do relationship training to train skills to improve relationships and communication. 

What’s one thing people can do today to strengthen their most important relationships?

Be very curious about what your partner says without judgment. Be a good audience. People often miss the point. Be less concerned that your partner is going to leave and more concerned about hurting your partner. Do everything you can to heal your own traumas.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. Strive for self-acceptance, calm, flexibility. There will be challenges in relationships. And the more you know yourself, the more you’ll have healthier relationships.

Connect with Julie

• Website: https://www.outcomesonly.com/ 
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/outcomesonly/ 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Outcomes-Only/61572479851741/

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Nice guy syndrome: why trying to please everyone is making men weaker. Tune into the pod to learn more from the Therapy Brothers! — Why do so many men think being the “nice guy” is a good thing? Meet the Therapy Brothers, licensed clinicians and brothers Brannon and Tyler Patrick, redefining mental health and modern […]

Nice guy syndrome: why trying to please everyone is making men weaker. Tune into the pod to learn more from the Therapy Brothers!

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Why do so many men think being the “nice guy” is a good thing? Meet the Therapy Brothers, licensed clinicians and brothers Brannon and Tyler Patrick, redefining mental health and modern masculinity. Through their popular podcast and clinical work, they break down complex psychological barriers into actionable advice on trust, betrayal, addiction, and emotional resilience. With humor, heart, and refreshing honesty, they tackle relationship dynamics, trauma healing, and the ‘why’ behind our habits. Get ready to dive deep.

In this episode:

• How “Mr. Nice Guy” isn’t actually nice
• Why men become the “nice guy”
• How the nice guys can break the pattern of people-pleasing
• The connection between nice guy syndrome and addiction

EP 712: The Therapy Brothers – The Shocking Psychology of Nice Guy Syndrome

Highlights of this episode:

What’s “Nice Guy Syndrome”?

• Appears outwardly kind but is driven by extracting validation.
• Inauthentic people-pleasing hides true self and creates resentment.
• Not limited to men; manifests similarly in women as excessive self-sacrifice (“pleaseritis”).

Causes & Consequences of Nice Guy Syndrome

• Rooted in shame, trauma, and low self-confidence learned in childhood.
• Leads to secrecy, overpromising, underdelivering, anxious/overbearing intimacy, and potential for addictive coping or sudden anger.
• Undermines real connection and can create unstable, unsafe-feeling relationships.

Recovery, Healthy Masculinity & Relationship Skills

• Recovery requires self-knowledge, boundaries, vulnerability, and practice.
• Healthy masculinity: know values, hold shape under pressure, be kind but boundaried.
• Parenting and relationships benefit from consistent boundaries; safety comes from stability and authenticity.
• Practical steps: practice small authentic choices (e.g., pick a restaurant), share real daily experiences, list and enforce boundaries, and seek coaching/therapy.
• Dating red flags: love-bombing, fast intimacy, anxious scrambling to please.

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Connect with the Therapy Brothers

• Website: https://therapybrothers.org/last-first-date-radio
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/therapy.bros/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therapy.brothers/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@therapy.brothers

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Submit your dating dilemma to be answered on my podcast https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

You and your partner’s libidos don’t match. What can you do? Sex Therapist, Susan Morgan Taylor, has valuable tips. — When your libidos don’t match, who do you call? Susan Morgan Taylor! She is a leading somatic sex therapist who helps couples deepen their intimacy and create lasting, fulfilling connections. With over 25 years of […]

You and your partner’s libidos don’t match. What can you do? Sex Therapist, Susan Morgan Taylor, has valuable tips.

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When your libidos don’t match, who do you call? Susan Morgan Taylor! She is a leading somatic sex therapist who helps couples deepen their intimacy and create lasting, fulfilling connections. With over 25 years of experience in somatic healing, she developed The Pleasure Keys Process, a powerful approach to reigniting sexual and emotional harmony in relationships. After a personal awakening from a sexless marriage, Susan became passionate about helping others remove obstacles to pleasure, love, and orgasm. She is also the creator of the Pleasure Keys Retreats and host of the Sex Talk Café Podcast. When not working, she enjoys hiking and singing karaoke in the mountains of Western North Carolina.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• The #1 obstacle to pleasure and how to overcome it
• Why low sex drive in women is a myth and how we can rewrite the narrative on women’s sexuality
• What is somatic sex therapy and how is it different from traditional talk therapy?
• The most effective way for couples to resolve differences in sex drive
• Why focusing on climax as the “goal” of sex can detract from reaching one’s orgasmic potential
• How couples can get what they want without sacrificing their needs or desires just to please the other person

EP 641: Susan Morgan Taylor – What to Do When Your Libidos Don’t Match

What’s the #1 obstacle to pleasure and how can it be overcome?

We store and trap a lot of pain in our bodies. That can be an obstacle to pleasure. When we learn to remove those obstacles, we can experience full pleasure. We need to trust our bodies and our partners to fully let go. 

When we shut down anger and pain, we also shut down full pleasure. We need to tap into what we’re feeling in our bodies. Trust whatever feeling comes up. Let anger, grief and sadness flow out of your hurt. Then, you’ll have more sensation. When there’s clarity, there’s trust. Then we need to communicate what we want and need. Practice the three N’s: Notice, name it, negotiate the experience.

Why is low sex drive in women a myth and how can we rewrite the narrative on women’s sexuality?

There’s a myth that women don’t enjoy or want sex as much as men. Often the female partner is labeled as having a low sex drive. She doesn’t need to amp it up or have him tamp his desire down. We are wired differently as far as how we’re turned on. Some people are turned on by direct touch and some need more teasing and spaciousness. There’s a lack of clarity. So practice the three N’s: notice, name, and negotiate the differences. We need to change the conversation around high or low libido. Know what you need and want and communicate that to your partner.

Why might focusing on climax as the “goal” of sex actually detract from reaching one’s orgasmic potential?

If we remove the goal of climax in sex, we can reach more pleasurable sex. We can also reach orgasm in many other ways besides climaxing. Being orgasmic is the ability to feel deeply and respond to pleasure and stimulus. What if you didn’t ‘finish’? What if you just experienced what was possible when you’re no longer focusing on the end goal. Feel whatever you’re feeling in the present moment.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

As someone who took a while to find my person, I understand the frustration. It’s important to identify your values and bring them to every relationship and date. It will weed out the wrong ones and attract someone who meets that.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect With Susan

• Website: www.pathwaytopleasure.com 
• FB: https://www.facebook.com/susantaylorma/ 
• IG: @susanmorgantaylor
• Free Gift: The Pleasure Keys eBook www.pleasurekeys.com 

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Emotional vampires will suck the life out of you. If you have people like that in your life, this episode is for you! — Do you have emotional vampires in your life? Daniel Ratner  is a relationship coach, speaker, and author helping people build healthier connections by recognizing draining patterns and setting stronger boundaries. A […]

Emotional vampires will suck the life out of you. If you have people like that in your life, this episode is for you!

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Do you have emotional vampires in your life? Daniel Ratner  is a relationship coach, speaker, and author helping people build healthier connections by recognizing draining patterns and setting stronger boundaries. A former entrepreneur turned personal growth expert, he is the author of Infinite Marriage and The Ten Secrets to a Passionate Marriage, with his upcoming book (January 2026) Emotional Vampires teaching readers how to protect their happiness from toxic people. Through his coaching, books, and public talks, Daniel provides clear, practical tools for improving self-esteem, cultivating “keepers,” and creating relationships that fuel joy.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• What is an “Emotional Vampire,” and how can someone tell if they have one in their life?
• Why so many of us tolerate draining relationships far longer than we should
• The most common categories of Emotional Vampires
• How to set boundaries without feeling guilty or burning bridges?
• Can Emotional Vampires change, or is it about learning how to manage them?

EP 684: Daniel Ratner – How to Protect Yourself From Emotional Vampires

What is an “Emotional Vampire,” and how can someone tell if they have one in their life?

We all have people who drain our energy. I created 12 categories. I have a whole chapter on family. The reason I wrote this book is we had a woman who my wife tried to help for years, and after many years, my wife realized this woman was a narcissist. We want keepers in our lives: People who are: Kind, peaceful, empathetic and respectful. Someone without envy and ego.

Why do so many of us tolerate draining relationships far longer than we should?

We don’t realize we have a choice to protect ourselves. One of my chapters is the “Friendship audit”. Sometimes, we have friends due to circumstance. If they now drain your energy, evaluate if it’s worth it. As you get older and wiser, you get to choose. If it’s someone you need in your life, how do you define healthy?

Can Emotional Vampires change, or is it about learning how to manage them?

Some of the categories are more dangerous than others, like narcissistic personality disorder. But a drama queen, someone who’s an oversharer can change. Also, the emotional constipated has a hard time sharing feelings. They can change, but it’s not easy. Women need to connect emotionally. Another category is the socially awkward. Social skills can be learned.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

On a first date, ask yourself: do you feel safe, seen, and do you want to see this person again? That’s all you need to know to go on a second date.

Connect with Daniel

• Website: http://www.CoachRatner.com 
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecoachratnerpodcast/ 
• X: https://x.com/dan613ratner?s=21 
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChDspvEbSIWDSo9X5WoSghw 
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/coach-ratner-45b4678a/ 

Watch on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How do you become sexually empowered? My guest, Lauren Elise Rogers, a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator, guides us to be empowered! — How do you become sexually empowered? My podcast guest, Lauren Elise Rogers, is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coach Her holistic and embodied approach is deeply rooted in […]

How do you become sexually empowered? My guest, Lauren Elise Rogers, a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator, guides us to be empowered!

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How do you become sexually empowered? My podcast guest, Lauren Elise Rogers, is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coach Her holistic and embodied approach is deeply rooted in her own pain-to-purpose journey. Lauren brings an empathetic and non-judgmental approach, offering practical tools that empower her clients to take ownership of their pleasure and grow in confidence and connection. She invites individuals and couples to navigate complex topics like long-term partnerships, consensual non-monogamy, life transitions, purity culture and LGBTQIA+ issues.

In this episode:

• What is empowered and authentic sex?
• How to build an empowered and authentic sex life
• How to understand our sexual needs and desires

EP 657: Lauren Elise Rogers – How to Become Sexually Empowered

How would you define empowered and authentic sex? 

It’s a values aligned expression of your body oriented towards pleasure. We’re all motivated and driven by different things. We each have a right to know what those are so we can communicate in an empowered way what we want, so they can decide if they want to engage in a relationship with us.

What steps would someone need to build an empowered and authentic sex life? 

Notice, trust and value your intuition. Know your origin story. Where do your beliefs stem from from birth until now. What are the positive and negative beliefs? What roles do we take on in relationships? Locate the ways where we’ve grown already. Then label the negative beliefs that aren’t working for you anymore. Locate the body-based beliefs. They need a lot of love to heal. Then we introduce exercises that help with somatic experiences. How does my body feel in this space? We work with erotic imagination to bring out what is already there. That’s the foundation for what they love and desire so they can communicate what they want to a partner.

What got you into this work? 

I was married at 21. I was a virgin, raised in a courtship model, and I didn’t know myself. Days after my marriage, my mother died of pancreatic marriage. My then husband turned to alcohol and other forms of disconnection and abuse. A friend asked how I was. I got into therapy. My counselor suggested I set boundaries. My husband didn’t respect any of them, and I ended my marriage. But I didn’t know myself sexually. I wondered if there was an education program for holistic sexuality and sexual health. I realized I needed to start a business in this area, because if I had known these things, I would have had a much different life.

What do you mean when you say that “sex is not everything it’s just a part of everything”? 

When I began to learn about sexuality, I kept thinking it could heal the world. Sexual health is fundamental to everyone’s health. When we know our needs, wants and desires and can communicate them and respect others, I see the ripple effect. Sex is the origin to living a fulfilled life.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Know yourself. Become the first,  last and best lover to yourself. Introduce that person to your last first date.

Watch this episode on Youtube

Connect with Lauren

• IG https://www.instagram.com/sex_ed_for_you  
• Website: https://sexedforyou.com/ 
• Free 15-Minute Consult https://sexedforyou.com/freeconsult 

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life