Nice guy syndrome: why trying to please everyone is making men weaker. Tune into the pod to learn more from the Therapy Brothers! — Why do so many men think being the “nice guy” is a good thing? Meet the Therapy Brothers, licensed clinicians and brothers Brannon and Tyler Patrick, redefining mental health and modern […]

Nice guy syndrome: why trying to please everyone is making men weaker. Tune into the pod to learn more from the Therapy Brothers!

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Why do so many men think being the “nice guy” is a good thing? Meet the Therapy Brothers, licensed clinicians and brothers Brannon and Tyler Patrick, redefining mental health and modern masculinity. Through their popular podcast and clinical work, they break down complex psychological barriers into actionable advice on trust, betrayal, addiction, and emotional resilience. With humor, heart, and refreshing honesty, they tackle relationship dynamics, trauma healing, and the ‘why’ behind our habits. Get ready to dive deep.

In this episode:

• How “Mr. Nice Guy” isn’t actually nice
• Why men become the “nice guy”
• How the nice guys can break the pattern of people-pleasing
• The connection between nice guy syndrome and addiction

EP 712: The Therapy Brothers – The Shocking Psychology of Nice Guy Syndrome

Highlights of this episode:

What’s “Nice Guy Syndrome”?

• Appears outwardly kind but is driven by extracting validation.
• Inauthentic people-pleasing hides true self and creates resentment.
• Not limited to men; manifests similarly in women as excessive self-sacrifice (“pleaseritis”).

Causes & Consequences of Nice Guy Syndrome

• Rooted in shame, trauma, and low self-confidence learned in childhood.
• Leads to secrecy, overpromising, underdelivering, anxious/overbearing intimacy, and potential for addictive coping or sudden anger.
• Undermines real connection and can create unstable, unsafe-feeling relationships.

Recovery, Healthy Masculinity & Relationship Skills

• Recovery requires self-knowledge, boundaries, vulnerability, and practice.
• Healthy masculinity: know values, hold shape under pressure, be kind but boundaried.
• Parenting and relationships benefit from consistent boundaries; safety comes from stability and authenticity.
• Practical steps: practice small authentic choices (e.g., pick a restaurant), share real daily experiences, list and enforce boundaries, and seek coaching/therapy.
• Dating red flags: love-bombing, fast intimacy, anxious scrambling to please.

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Connect with the Therapy Brothers

• Website: https://therapybrothers.org/last-first-date-radio
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/therapy.bros/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therapy.brothers/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@therapy.brothers

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Submit your dating dilemma to be answered on my podcast https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Conflict management is difficult for most of us. In this episode, discover your conflict management style and how to do conflict better. — What’s your conflict management personality? Dr. John Eliot, PhD, co-wrote a book on this topic. He mentors executives and advises professional sports teams, coaches, and athletes on psychological principles for enhancing health, […]

Conflict management is difficult for most of us. In this episode, discover your conflict management style and how to do conflict better.

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What’s your conflict management personality? Dr. John Eliot, PhD, co-wrote a book on this topic. He mentors executives and advises professional sports teams, coaches, and athletes on psychological principles for enhancing health, performance, and workplace culture. He has consulted for NASA, the US Olympic Committee, the Mayo Clinic, Sony, and Microsoft. Eliot has held professorial appointments at the University of Virginia, Stanford, Rice, SMU, and the Texas Medical Center, winning teaching awards at each.

In this episode:

• Why John decided to focus his research on conflict personalities
• How our conflict responses are rooted in predictable patterns
• How we can predict behavior in high-pressure or emotionally charged situations
• How someone’s ‘Conflict’ personality changes between home and work
• Why it’s important to understand our triggers

EP 650: Dr. John Elliot – What’s Your Conflict Management Style?

Why did you decide to focus your research on conflict personality styles?

My co-author and I do a lot of organizational training, and we discovered that the tools that help us understand ourselves are fantastic for communication when things are going well. But when a speed bump comes along, something knocks you off kilter. We veer away from our normal communication style during those times.

What are the five conflict personalities?

1. Avoider
2. Competitor
3. Analyzer
4. Accommodator
5. Collaborator

How can someone’s ‘Conflict personality’ change between home and work?

At work it can be easier to be rational. Many people have a different go-to at home than at work. One of the reasons is the mission is different. We can compartmentalize better at work and keep our emotions from spiking. At home, the mission is the relationship, caring for your family and loved one. So the lines are blurred.

When it comes to conflict, why is it important to understand our own triggers?

Knowing your hot buttons is crucial so you can predict where you’re more likely to get away from being yourself. It will also help you know which of your conflict styles will be the habits you go to. Find one little thing you can do to get back to center. Do you need a breather? To be heard? To listen?

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

The fundamental needs we all share are a need to be heard, to be cared for, and to be of value. Understand that it’s about your helping them and them helping you meet each other’s needs. Try to understand the value of the other person. Be curious and interested. We are designed to be in pairs and groups. We can accomplish a lot together. We’re teammates.

How to Get Along with Anyone: The Playbook for Predicting and Preventing Conflict at Work and at Home by John Eliot and Jim Gunn is available at the Conflict Docs website: https://www.theconflictdocs.com/Home 

IG https://www.instagram.com/theconflictdocs/

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Love and compatibility go hand-in-hand. If you want to find a partner with a balance of attraction and compatibility, listen to this episode! — Did you know that love and compatibility can be measured and calculated? My podcast guest, Zoey Charif, isn’t just redefining how we think about love — she’s giving us a blueprint […]

Love and compatibility go hand-in-hand. If you want to find a partner with a balance of attraction and compatibility, listen to this episode!

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Did you know that love and compatibility can be measured and calculated? My podcast guest, Zoey Charif, isn’t just redefining how we think about love — she’s giving us a blueprint for it. As the author of Love Can, In Fact, Be Calculated, Zoey spent nearly two decades decoding the patterns of human attraction, pulling from her background in criminology, data analytics, and a relentless drive to challenge everything we’ve been taught about relationships.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• Why do people often choose partners who aren’t right for them, and how can they shift that?
• What qualities actually lead to lasting relationships, even if they’re not immediately exciting?
• What are some signs we’re repeating unhealthy relationship patterns?
• How can someone strengthen their self-confidence after a breakup or rejection?
• Why do you believe understanding yourself is the first step to finding the right partner?

EP 667: Zoey Charif – The Data Behind Love and Compatibility

Why do people often choose partners who aren’t right for them, and how can they shift that?

We are choosing based on attraction but not compatibility and traits. Couples who stay together tend to admire their partner and see them as slightly higher. Gottman says that the couples who stay together, the man has influence over the woman via admiration and vice versa. 

Couples who are either more compatibility focused (practicality type) or emotions focused (chemistry). You can be on a continuum of either of these, healthy or extreme. To last, you need to have a healthy balance of both, especially the healthy emotional category.

What qualities actually lead to love and compatibility, even if they’re not immediately exciting?

Honesty, communication, dependability are key. A match is based on a shared set of values. You have a self score and a partner score. That accounts for compatibility but not attractions. I created a trait preference assessment to help understand someone’s traits. 

How can someone strengthen their self-confidence after a breakup or rejection?

At the end of the book, I share my journey to building self-confidence after my breakup and how I met my husband. Every day, I journaled about my self-score and my ex-partner’s score and the trait preferences. It was so revealing. My number one was dependability and honesty, but I had given myself a much lower score than was warranted. I had given my ex a high score in both, and I was delusional about that. I removed the illusion. I had been suffering from an infatuation distortion. I had a blindfold on. Once I did the calculations, I began to heal. There was a misalignment. Love has to be mutual. Don’t put people on a pedestal. 

I met my husband, Kevin at a dog park. He didn’t fit the usual traits I enjoy, so I wasn’t super attracted, but the values aligned, so I gave it time. He’s younger than I am, and I thought that was important, but he has an old soul and is a good person. I was able to let that go. The next area was cultural. I thought someone had to have the same background, but that wasn’t important in the long run. We began laughing together, which was what I thought I needed from someone with a similar cultural background.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Look for your rock. Be mindful and honest about the traits you’re attracted to so you can co-create a healthy, long-term relationship. Identify if you’re holding onto the pain of a past relationship or self-doubt, because that will impact your future relationship. Identify your values and traits. Don’t box yourself in about what you’re attracted to, especially if your nervous system is activated. Self reflect and heal your unhealthy patterns.

Connect with Zoey

• Website: www.lovecaninfactbecalculated.com 
• IG and TikTok: @zoeycharif 

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

If you keep hunting for red flags in your relationships, stop! Dr. Isabelle Morley shares insights into the biggest problems with dating. — Dr. Isabelle Morley is a clinical psychologist, EFT-certified couples therapist, and author. She writes a blog for Psychology Today and has been featured in The New Yorker, The Boston Globe, Vox, and […]

If you keep hunting for red flags in your relationships, stop! Dr. Isabelle Morley shares insights into the biggest problems with dating.

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Dr. Isabelle Morley is a clinical psychologist, EFT-certified couples therapist, and author. She writes a blog for Psychology Today and has been featured in The New Yorker, The Boston Globe, Vox, and more. Dr. Morley also serves on the founding board of the UCAN Foundation and provides couples therapy in the Boston area. We’re talking today about her new book, “They’re Not Gaslighting You”.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• Why we’re obsessed with words like “narcissist” and “gaslighting” in dating
• How our relationships are affected by hunting for red flags and other ways we try to diagnose our partners
• What to say if someone accuses you of having a psychological disorder

EP 666: Dr. Isabelle Morley – How to Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship!

What led to the uptick in therapy-speak, and why are we all obsessed with using clinical terms?

We can blame the internet and social media for the uptick in these terms. People had no idea what borderline personality and boundaries were. Now, everyone has access to this information. People have learned the wrong meaning for these words, and that can be harmful.

What’s the problem with people using therapy terms? Isn’t it good that people are more knowledgeable about things like boundaries and narcissists and hunting for red flags?

People use these terms accusatory and that’s not helpful. You have to make a choice in what you want to do and how you want to behave in relationships.

How are people’s relationships being affected by these clinical terms?

So much of your life can be changed by you instead of accusing others. If you’re encountering the same type of person over and over, ask yourself, what behaviors am I tolerating that I shouldn’t be?

How can people best respond to someone who has accused them of having a psychological disorder or exhibiting abusive behavior when they don’t think it’s justified?

One of the best ways to respond to a psychological term that doesn’t feel justified, is to not get defensive, because they will then reinforce that you are that thing they’re accusing you of. Instead, hear them, acknowledge that they must be really hurt to call you that. Let’s talk about it, because it’s painful and doesn’t help. 

Abusers use these terms to control the narrative. You’re the problem. Look carefully at whether they’re not willing to walk it back. That’s concerning.

How is misused or weaponized therapy-speak getting in the way of dating?

Gaslighting is a word from a movie. If you’ve truly been gaslit, it causes immeasurable damage. There are two major sources of harm: if you look for red flags, you’re going to find them. If you’re looking for narcissists, you’ll find them. You’ll also write off perfectly good partners for no reason. Don’t draw these conclusions without enough data. 

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

As hard as it is, lead with vulnerability and curiosity. Be open and don’t jump to self-protective labels. People are trying their best. Give yourself and others grace.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect with Isabelle Morley

• IG @drisabellemorley https://www.instagram.com/drisabellemorley/?hl=en 
• Website: drisabellemorley.com
• 3 Free downloads: Reality Check: Am I Being Gaslit?, Say What You Mean: Translating Therapy Speak into Real Connection, and Label-Free Language: A Guide to Non-Pathologizing Conversations

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Highly successful women often struggle to find their match when they’re dating. My podcast guest, Bob Grant, sheds light on why this happens. — Attention highly successful women who struggle to find lasting love! Help is on the way with my podcast guest, Bob Grant, a clinically trained relationship expert, podcaster, and bestselling author of […]

Highly successful women often struggle to find their match when they’re dating. My podcast guest, Bob Grant, sheds light on why this happens.

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Attention highly successful women who struggle to find lasting love! Help is on the way with my podcast guest, Bob Grant, a clinically trained relationship expert, podcaster, and bestselling author of The Woman Men Adore. He’s the founder of Relationship Headquarters, where he specializes in helping women emotionally connect with men, attract true love, get married, and, for those in a relationship, learn how to connect and relate more effectively.   

In this episode of Last First Date Radio

• How successful women can navigate between being powerful at work and more feminine in dating without losing their authentic selves
• Busting the myth that successful women intimidate men
• The meaning of “emotional authenticity”
• The difference between surrendering in love vs giving up your power

EP 644 : Bob Grant – Dating Advice for Highly Successful Women

Many highly successful women say they have to be ‘masculine’ at work but ‘feminine’ in dating – yet that switch feels impossible. How do you help women navigate this delicate balance without losing their authentic selves?

When women are in their feminine, they are softer, and it softens men. It brings out a softer side. And it kicks in men’s desire to be a protector. To make the switch without losing your authentic self, leave your work self at work. Decide which energy you want to be embodying on dates. Ask yourself “how do I want to be treated?” Pat Allen said, “Do you want to be cherished or respected more?” To be cherished, we need to step into the softer, more receptive self.

There’s this myth that successful women intimidate men. But you have a fascinating perspective on what’s really happening in these dynamics – can you break this down for us?

It’s not that they intimidate men. It’s that they can be competitive when they bring their work self to a date. If a man is not reaching out or making an effort early on, he will probably do that in the long run. Pay attention early on if he will show up for you. 

I’m curious about something you call ’emotional authenticity.’ How does this differ from the vulnerability we often hear about, especially for women who are used to being in control?

Emotional authenticity is about matching your emotion with what’s going on for you. For example, when you cry, men appreciate that you feel safe enough with him to cry. State your emotions to help men understand.

Let’s talk about surrender – a word that makes many ambitious women uncomfortable. How do you help women understand the difference between surrendering in love versus giving up their power?

Surrender is about yielding. These are women who are in charge of everything at work, and they don’t want to do that at home. If you want to be loved or cared for by someone who’s got their back and will support them in times of need, you need to surrender to a man’s desire to care for you.

What are your final words of advice for highly successful women who want to go on their last first date?

Can you have an attitude of curiosity early on? It will soften you and remind him that you’re ‘all of this and brains, too’. It gets you out of your head to see if you can talk and connect enough to go on another date.

Connect With Bob

• FBhttps://www.facebook.com/RelationshipHeadquarters 
• IG https://www.instagram.com/relationship_headquarters 
• YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@Relationshipheadquarters    
• Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/relationshipheadquarters-with-bob-grant/id1726514077 
• Free Gift: What Men Find Irresistible, 3 ways to unlock a man’s heart https://relationshiphq.ac-page.com/irresistible-web

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How are women today redefining intimacy and dating standards? Listen to this episode with Morgan Hewett to find out! — How are women redefining intimacy and dating standards? My podcast guest, Morgan Hewett, is a second-time founder and Harvard Business School MBA building Devin, an AI powered vibrator + erotic audio experience for women. She […]

How are women today redefining intimacy and dating standards? Listen to this episode with Morgan Hewett to find out!

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How are women redefining intimacy and dating standards? My podcast guest, Morgan Hewett, is a second-time founder and Harvard Business School MBA building Devin, an AI powered vibrator + erotic audio experience for women. She previously founded and sold a generative-AI health tech startup and now focuses on modern dating, female desire, and why women are rewriting the rules of relationships in the AI era.

In this episode:

• Why so many successful women opt out of conventional dating
• How to tell the difference between loneliness and desire for a partner
• The role of technology in emotional and sexual fulfillment
• Mindset shifts to date with confidence

EP 711: Morgan Hewett – How Women Are Redefining Intimacy and Dating Standards

Highlights from this episode

What is Devin?

• Morgan Hewitt, Harvard MBA, is the founder of Devin (AI-powered vibrator + interactive erotic audio).
• Devin: device with sensors for adaptive vibration + customizable interactive audio voice/fantasy.
• Target users span ages 30–65; many presale signups from women 40–65.
• Use cases include solo pleasure, partner-enhancement, and therapeutic support for trauma survivors.

Dating trends & why women opt out of dating

• Increasing numbers of women single by choice; many report equal or greater life satisfaction when single.
• Economic independence raises expectations: women now prioritize emotional availability, not just financial stability.
• Generational shift: younger men (Gen Z) show more emotional intelligence; older cohorts may lag.
• Toxic relationship patterns and trauma lead some women to delay or avoid dating.

AI, privacy, and ethical concerns

• Privacy caution: large AI platforms may use conversational data for ads; Devin emphasizes limited/no collection of PII and safe onboarding (use of fantasy identities).
• Ethical concern: AI replacing human creators/artists and full replacement of human relationships is troubling.
• Devin positions AI as augmentation (self-exploration, rehabilitation, sexual literacy), not replacement for human intimacy.

Practical takeaways for dating & sexual health

• Self-knowledge and self-pleasure improve communication and relationship satisfaction.
• Tools like Devin can help people experiment safely, build sexual literacy, and practice intimacy (including for PTSD recovery).
• Dating advice: be authentic, set boundaries, cultivate self-attraction before seeking validation from others.

Connect with Morgan

• Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@morgan.pink.founder  
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/morgan.pink.founder

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How do we navigate sex after grief? How do we nurture ourselves as sexual beings when we’re grieving the death of a partner? — Sex after Grief is the first book to address sex and grief together and treat sex as a normal, positive, life-affirming part of emerging from such a difficult time. Author, Joan Price, […]

How do we navigate sex after grief? How do we nurture ourselves as sexual beings when we’re grieving the death of a partner?

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Sex after Grief is the first book to address sex and grief together and treat sex as a normal, positive, life-affirming part of emerging from such a difficult time. Author, Joan Price, is an award-winning writer specializing in sex and aging. She has written four books about senior sex, including Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and Sex after Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality after Losing Your Beloved. At age 81, Joan Price continues to talk out loud about senior sex – partnered or solo.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• How to know when it’s time to start dating and seeking a sexual connection after loss
• What to say to people who try to tell you what’s “right” or “appropriate” and what isn’t
• The most common reason for guilt or shame when considering opening up to a new partner
• Personal details about Joan’s own grief journey and attempts to get back into dating and sex

EP 642: Joan Price – Sex After Grief

How do you know when it’s time to start dating and seeking a sexual connection again?

You don’t know. Everyone has their own timeline as to when it’s time to welcome someone into their life. You’re ready when you want a partner’s touch, but you’re still in love with your dead spouse. Sometimes, the person who’s dying gives them permission to move on. I believe everyone should have that conversation with your partner before they’re gone to release them from guilt once they die.

What do you say to people who try to tell you what’s “right” or “appropriate” and what isn’t?

Everyone has an opinion about how fast or slow you should move. We need to be able to say to people “I need to do this at my pace. Let’s talk about it.”

What’s the most common reason for guilt or shame when you’re considering opening yourself up to a new partner?

People think they’re betraying their deceased spouse. I have stories from grievers in my book of those who got that permission.

Your book includes very personal things about your own grief journey and your attempts to get back into dating and sex. Why was it important to reveal such personal details?

I loved talking about Robert after he died. I had grief counselors who helped me get back into the world. A counselor said, “What’s the story you tell yourself about where you are right now?” I said, “I have lost the love of my life and nothing will ever be the same again.” After working with him, I was able to say, “I had the love of my life, and I take that with me on my path.” That made me realize I could move on, not abandoning him to find someone else. It made me who I am and let me open my heart when I was ready to invite someone else in.  We can love two people. 

I tread a fine line between not being open and being open and not too explicit. I’m open because people aren’t. When I first started talking about senior sex, no one was doing it and making it fun and sexy. Grief books don’t talk about sex. I needed to give people what they needed to hear. And I invited grievers to tell their own stories. (Here’s an article on sex toys on Joan’s blog)

What went into the decision to update the 2019 book and add more chapters in 2024?

A lot has changed since I wrote the book. I met another partner eight years ago, and he’s still in my life. He’s also widowed. That was important to me. We knew what we needed and we knew how to embrace our histories as part of our love affair. We are in a live apart together relationship. It’s wonderful. In 2024, I wanted to add new chapters about living apart together and other ways of being in a relationship.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Every first date is an opportunity to practice dating skills, listening skills, and evaluate what you do and don’t want. That’s how you’ll go on your last first date.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect With Joan Price

• Website https://joanprice.com/   
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JoanPrice  
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JoanPriceAuthor  
• Bluesky: @joanprice https://bsky.app/profile/joanprice.bsky.social 
• Instagram @thejoanprice https://www.instagram.com/thejoanprice 
• X: @joanprice https://twitter.com/JoanPrice  
• Subscribe to newsletter: https://witty-feather-67285.myflodesk.com/sun5wbx417
• Free gift: If you get the book through Joan’s website, you’ll get an extra book for free to give away to a friend, grief counselor or a partner. Click the bonus offer box at checkout.

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

If you’ve ever experienced narcissistic abuse, this episode with Dr. Alina Kastner is for you. Learn how to break free! — How do you break free from narcissistic abuse? Dr. Alina Kastner, MSc, is a leading Vienna-based psychotherapist. Working with individuals, couples, and families across all backgrounds, she brings “bold systemic therapy with a twist” […]

If you’ve ever experienced narcissistic abuse, this episode with Dr. Alina Kastner is for you. Learn how to break free!

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How do you break free from narcissistic abuse? Dr. Alina Kastner, MSc, is a leading Vienna-based psychotherapist. Working with individuals, couples, and families across all backgrounds, she brings “bold systemic therapy with a twist” to match her clients’ fire and courage. Her specialty: promoting deeper intimacy, connection and clarity while helping people navigate trauma and narcissistic abuse; the latter of which was the focus of her doctoral thesis.

In this episode:

• What exactly is narcissistic abuse, and why it’s so difficult for people to see when they’re experiencing it
• The first step to protect yourself from a narcissist
• The biggest misconceptions about narcissism in the media
• How to tell the difference between an emotionally unavailable partner and a true narcissist
• Small acts you can take to begin rewriting your story of narcissistic abuse

EP 706: Alina Kastner – How to Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse

Highlights of this Episode

What is narcissistic abuse – common signs
• Narcissistic abuse is primarily psychological: gaslighting, lack of empathy, exploitation for admiration (“supply”), envy, devaluation and discard.
• Victims feel confused, anxious, walk on eggshells, and may develop PTSD/C-PTSD.
• Pattern: intense love-bombing → gradual devaluation → isolation → increased confusion.

Who is vulnerable & why
• People raised with narcissistic or fragmented caregiving often unconsciously seek familiar (unhealthy) attachment patterns.
• Compassion toward family is different than compassion toward a romantic partner; trying to “fix” a narcissist rarely works.
• Highly compassionate people can be especially susceptible.

Healing and practical self-care steps
• Start small: meditation, breathwork, therapy, journaling. Break healing into manageable steps.
• Invite and feel painful emotions (e.g., use the “pain hour”) rather than only intellectualizing.
• Create must-haves / deal-breakers lists for relationships; be flexible on “nice-to-haves” but firm on non-negotiables.

Dating, differentiating avoidant vs narcissist, and co-parenting
• Avoidant vs narcissist: avoidants can usually self-reflect and are willing to work on attachment issues; narcissists lack empathy, deflect blame, and won’t respect boundaries.
• Early testing: look for consistency of actions with words over time; many red flags surface within weeks.
• Dating tips: prefer profiles/actions that “show” values (not just boastful claims); listen for listening, empathy, and groundedness.
• Co-parenting with a narcissist: aim for no emotional engagement; communicate facts neutrally; use lawyers if necessary; maintain modeled behavior for children.

Watch on YouTube

Connect With Alina

• Website: www.alinakastner.com   
• Instagram and TikTok: @dr.alinakastner

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How do you get a second date when you’re interested in someone? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some excellent tips! — How do you get a second date? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some tips for you! He is a Presidential Professor of Psychology at Bucknell University. His research focuses on […]

How do you get a second date when you’re interested in someone? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some excellent tips!

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How do you get a second date? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some tips for you! He is a Presidential Professor of Psychology at Bucknell University. His research focuses on mate attraction, mate selection, mate expulsion, love, and relationships. He’s the author of numerous articles in social and evolutionary psychology journals, and his research has been covered in media outlets including the BBC, NPR, and CBC, and numerous national and international news magazines.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• Do the actions men and women use to get a second date differ, and if so why? 
• What are a few things people can say or do to get a second date?  
• How the actions men and women use to signal attraction to a potential mate differs

EP 648: T. Joel Wade – How to Get a Second Date

Do the actions men and women use to get a second date differ, and if so why? 

Biology plays a role. Women tend to be more likely to give a second date to a man who seems to be interested in more than sex. Etiquette behaviors are important. He’s polite, shows interest, and doesn’t pressure her for sex. The connection is more emotional for women.

For men, they want a second date if they feel a sexual attraction and there’s a possibility that sex could occur. If she’s overtly sexual, that might not lead to long term relationships, and if he’s looking for more, she would get a second date if she flirts, smiles, touches him, etc. If she drinks alcohol, it tends to be a positive sign that she’s willing to consume alcohol. Synchronized behaviors and postures also play a role in attraction.

What are a few things people can say or do to get a second date?  

Some things happen naturally, like eye contact, listening, being focused on the other person. Display altruism and willingness to help. On the second date, there’s more self-disclosure. Then you begin to see likes, dislikes, and personality.

Let’s talk about flirting. Do the actions men and women use to signal attraction to a potential mate differ, and if so why? 

There are some similarities in unconscious behaviors like eye contact, focusing on the other person, etc. There is a difference between how men and women flirt based on their mate preferences. The actions that are most effective for men are seeing interest in emotional connection. Gift-giving shows kindness. Altruism – willingness to offer help. Men look for signs that a woman is interested emotionally and sexually. There is not a lot of difference in behaviors cross-culturally.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Be aware that dating is an information gathering exercise where you’re finding out if you’re compatible. Take your time, be open, don’t come on too strong, and trust your instincts.

Watch on YouTube

Connect with T Joel Wade

• Website https://www.bucknell.edu/fac-staff/t-joel-wade
• Psychology Today page https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/t-joel-wade-phd 

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How do you heal from a breakup and when do you begin to date again? Learn about breakup recovery on the podcast with breakup coach, Cole Zesiger. — Cole Zesiger is a breakup and relationship coach specializing in breakup recovery, dating advice, and relationship coaching. After a divorce at 23 and another breakup soon after, […]

How do you heal from a breakup and when do you begin to date again? Learn about breakup recovery on the podcast with breakup coach, Cole Zesiger.

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Cole Zesiger is a breakup and relationship coach specializing in breakup recovery, dating advice, and relationship coaching. After a divorce at 23 and another breakup soon after, he began sharing his journey on social media—growing to over 750,000 followers across Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and more.  He has coached 2,000+ people through heartbreak, helping them either rekindle relationships in a healthy way or move on with peace. His practical approach blends psychology, attachment theory, and real-world strategies to guide people from heartbreak to healing.  When not coaching, Cole enjoys time with his wife and daughter, playing guitar, dirt biking, and exploring the mountains. His debut book, Ex’s and No’s: The Breakup Advice You Don’t Want to Hear, offers a proven roadmap to rebuild self-worth, master communication, and create healthy, lasting love.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio

• What keeps people from moving on after breaking up?
• Do you really need closure after a breakup?
• Is it ever a good idea to get back together?
• How do attachment styles affect breakups?
• Should you accept friendship right after a breakup?

EP 691: Cole Zesiger – Breakup Recovery: How to Heal From a Breakup and Date Again

What keeps people from moving on after breaking up?

Three things need to be present in order to move on. 1. There has to be a narrative that it makes sense that the relationship is over. 2. Life has to be at least as good in the present as it was in the past. 3. You need proof that love exists in the world, that you’re capable of feeling attraction again. It could be going on dates or joining social groups. 

We give mental energy to things that are unclosed in our lives, especially when we don’t know why. This applies to breakups. With a breakup, if you feel you can’t get closure, try to see the bigger picture and how it led you to where you are today. Look at what you’ve gained, what you’re grateful for, and how the skills you gained led you to become who you are today.

Is it ever a good idea to get back together with an ex?

In a calm moment, write down three to five things  that you’d need to see change in your partner for the relationship to work. The list has to be understood by a seven year old. Specific. Actionable, and measurable.

How do attachment styles affect breakups?

Secure attachment: Grieves the loss of that person, but believes they are worthy of love. They focus on what’s in their control quickly.

Anxious attachment: Denial. Love exists, but I need to get my ex back. I will mold into anything I can to be loved. They also grow a lot.

Avoidant attachment: I’m good enough. Love can hurt me so I have to keep it far away. They jump right into dating apps again and it comes back to bite them soon after. They avoid healing.

Disorganized attachment. They usually have off and on relationships. Switch to open relationships, to situationships.

Should you accept friendship right after a breakup?

Right after a breakup if one person has feelings, it makes it difficult to be friends. If you have moved on and want to be friends later on, that’s different. Most people beg for friendship, or the one who’s leaving will offer friendship as consolation. Anxiously attached people tend to accept friendship and hope the other person will begin to fall back in love eventually.

People go through the breakup loop of doom by staying friends. Eventually, one partner does something that gives the other hope that they will get back together. It’s a vicious cycle.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Build a life you’re fulfilled by before bringing someone into it. It can go too far if you’ve built such an established life that you don’t want to break routines. But, when you have a full life with a mission and meaning bigger than yourself and bring someone else into it, you’ll have an easier time with dating and relationships.

Connect With Cole

• Website https://coachcolezesiger.com 
• IG https://www.instagram.com/coachcolezesiger/
• Get the book: https://coachcolezesiger.com/exsandnos

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life