What’s a mistake couples make that ruins relationships, and how can we repair it? That’s what Zach Brittle is sharing on this episode! — What’s the one big mistake that ruins relationships and how can we fix it? Zach Brittle  is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Certified Gottman Therapist, and Relational Life Therapist with nearly […]

What’s a mistake couples make that ruins relationships, and how can we repair it? That’s what Zach Brittle is sharing on this episode!

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What’s the one big mistake that ruins relationships and how can we fix it? Zach Brittle  is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Certified Gottman Therapist, and Relational Life Therapist with nearly 20 years of experience. He hosts Marriage Therapy Radio and authored The Relationship Alphabet and The Marriage Therapy Journal. Zach lives in Seattle with his wife Rebecca and their two adult daughters.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• What’s NSO and how might it show up early on in dating?
• What’s emotional neutrality, and how does it affect relationships?
• How to recognize subtle forms of contempt early on
• What singles can do to build connection, intimacy, and curiosity 
• How to recognize if you’re stuck in a negative cycle with a new partner

One Big Mistake That Ruins Relationships and How to Fix It

What is Negative Sentiment Override (NSO), and how might it quietly show up in any stage of dating?

This is a term that John Gottman came up with. One of the things couples who divorce have in common is the Negative Sentiment Override. When you’re in NSO, things are harder. There’s a drive to raise your score and improve your relationship. Early in a relationship, it’s pretty rare. If you have more negative than positive, you leave. 

If the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are present and not being offset by gratitude, generosity, and affection, relationships can fail. Early on, we might call these red flags to look out for.

You say that emotional neutrality is the first step out of NSO. What do you mean by that?

Both people need to want to change the pattern that’s not working in the relationship. Learn how to identify and change the pattern. Once you realize the pattern, you can interrupt it. You have three choices when in conflict in relationships: stay neutral and take a pause, make it worse, or make it better. Emotional neutrality is really helpful when you’re flooded and need a break. Think about what you want to happen. Then choose to make the relationship better.

Contempt can quietly destroy relationships, and you say it also fuels NSO. How can someone recognize subtle forms of contempt in themselves or in others in long-term relationships or when dating?

Contempt can show up early on in a relationship as “I’m better than you”, which leaves no room for intimacy. You can’t expect things to be healthy when you’re in contempt of one another. Be on the lookout for signs from yourself and your partner. To get out of contempt, look for the best in your partner, not the worst.

Make up that your partner is amazing, and they look great, and you’re so proud of them, and they add value to your life. This increases intimacy and decreases contempt. Let your partner know you have their back and care about them.

What are some things singles or dating partners can use to build connection, intimacy, and curiosity early on?

When dating, embrace the parts of you that you’re proud of and the parts that you lack, and get curious about the other person and what they have that you don’t when you’re dating. Be the best partner instead of just looking for the best partner.

How can someone tell if they’re stuck in a negative cycle with a new partner, or if they’re just being cautious from past hurt?

Evaluate why you act a certain way. Assess whether it’s you, them, or the two of you together. If your response is outsized, evaluate why that is. Share that information with your partner when you’re dating. 

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Prioritize curiosity, and see if this is a relationship where you both can learn.

Connect with Zach

• Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/marriagetherapyradio/?hl=en 
• Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/marriagetherapyradio/ 
• Tik Tok – https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagetherapyradio 
• Podcast – https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marriage-therapy-radio/id1295458667
• Website – https://zachbrittle.com

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How do you get a second date when you’re interested in someone? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some excellent tips! — How do you get a second date? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some tips for you! He is a Presidential Professor of Psychology at Bucknell University. His research focuses on […]

How do you get a second date when you’re interested in someone? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some excellent tips!

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How do you get a second date? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some tips for you! He is a Presidential Professor of Psychology at Bucknell University. His research focuses on mate attraction, mate selection, mate expulsion, love, and relationships. He’s the author of numerous articles in social and evolutionary psychology journals, and his research has been covered in media outlets including the BBC, NPR, and CBC, and numerous national and international news magazines.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• Do the actions men and women use to get a second date differ, and if so why? 
• What are a few things people can say or do to get a second date?  
• How the actions men and women use to signal attraction to a potential mate differs

EP 648: T. Joel Wade – How to Get a Second Date

Do the actions men and women use to get a second date differ, and if so why? 

Biology plays a role. Women tend to be more likely to give a second date to a man who seems to be interested in more than sex. Etiquette behaviors are important. He’s polite, shows interest, and doesn’t pressure her for sex. The connection is more emotional for women.

For men, they want a second date if they feel a sexual attraction and there’s a possibility that sex could occur. If she’s overtly sexual, that might not lead to long term relationships, and if he’s looking for more, she would get a second date if she flirts, smiles, touches him, etc. If she drinks alcohol, it tends to be a positive sign that she’s willing to consume alcohol. Synchronized behaviors and postures also play a role in attraction.

What are a few things people can say or do to get a second date?  

Some things happen naturally, like eye contact, listening, being focused on the other person. Display altruism and willingness to help. On the second date, there’s more self-disclosure. Then you begin to see likes, dislikes, and personality.

Let’s talk about flirting. Do the actions men and women use to signal attraction to a potential mate differ, and if so why? 

There are some similarities in unconscious behaviors like eye contact, focusing on the other person, etc. There is a difference between how men and women flirt based on their mate preferences. The actions that are most effective for men are seeing interest in emotional connection. Gift-giving shows kindness. Altruism – willingness to offer help. Men look for signs that a woman is interested emotionally and sexually. There is not a lot of difference in behaviors cross-culturally.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Be aware that dating is an information gathering exercise where you’re finding out if you’re compatible. Take your time, be open, don’t come on too strong, and trust your instincts.

Watch on YouTube

Connect with T Joel Wade

• Website https://www.bucknell.edu/fac-staff/t-joel-wade
• Psychology Today page https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/t-joel-wade-phd 

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Ladies, if you want to know why men pull away in the early stages of dating, you don’t want to miss this podcast episode! — Why do men pull away after early connection? My podcast guest, Johnny Fernandez, has the answer to this and many other dating and relationship challenges. He is a seasoned relationship […]

Ladies, if you want to know why men pull away in the early stages of dating, you don’t want to miss this podcast episode!

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Why do men pull away after early connection? My podcast guest, Johnny Fernandez, has the answer to this and many other dating and relationship challenges. He is a seasoned relationship coach with over 20 years of experience helping women attract lasting love. As co-founder of the Feminine Radiance and Courage Institute, he guides clients to deepen confidence, heal emotional patterns, and build meaningful connections through heart-centered support and proven strategies.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• ​​Why so many women experience men pulling away after what feels like a great initial connection
• Common misunderstandings women have about men’s behavior during the early dating phase
• What’s happening for a man emotionally or psychologically when he suddenly goes quiet or distances himself after seeming really into a woman
• What to do if you feel confused or rejected when a man disappears or changes suddenly
• What shifts when a woman learns how to respond in those moments of disconnection or uncertainty—rather than reacting

EP 668: Johnny Fernandez – Why Men Pull Away After Early Connection

Why do so many women experience men pulling away after what feels like a great initial connection?

Our approach is to look at masculine and feminine and what is affect and what is cause. We give women more credit and power over how the dating goes than most people. There’s a lot of preparation before dating to prevent men from pulling away. Largely, men pull away because of how they think, which is they put women in one of two categories early on: 1. She’s kind of fun for a little while, which rarely leads to marriage or commitment or 2. She’s different, I might be able to build a life with her. She needs to show up in communication as that second woman.

Are you showing up as the prize and distinguished? Do you know how to communicate with him to activate his masculinity switch? 

Draw in a different type of man. Distinguish yourself from the other options as a woman of high value.

Change your mindset from “I haven’t gone on enough dates”, which is exhausting and not intentional, to “I didn’t build my skills enough to draw in the right person”. In early communication, when a man asks, “Do you want to hang out?”, that’s a fork in the road moment. You say, “You mean like a date?” If he says anything other than “Yes, a date”, walk away. 

Men and women are not the same. Here’s how I see the masculine and feminine:

Masculine: He’s a protector, a provider, a leader who wants to love, cherish and adore her. That helps him become the best version of himself, the King to his Queen.

Feminine: She is the heart. She brings her feminine radiance, a lightness, warmth, and high value. It’s about how men feel in her presence. 

Can you explain what’s happening for a man emotionally or psychologically when he suddenly goes quiet or distances himself after seeming to be really into a woman?

She probably hasn’t flipped his masculinity switch to inspire him to show up in his a-game and build a life with her. He doesn’t want to be a better man for her.

What advice do you give women who feel confused or rejected when men pull away or disappear after they connected?

We don’t use the word ‘rejected’ because that assumes we know what’s happening in his head. Many times, it has nothing to do with her. However, there is some part she does have responsibility over. We focus on that. We work with her on busting her assumptions and what she can do to let him go. We look for a pattern to understand what her part is. With responsibility comes power.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Take your love life as seriously as you took your college degree and your career. Prepare yourself for a great relationship, for something completely different and better.

Connect With Johnny

• IG https://www.instagram.com/johnnyandlara/
• Website https://radianceandcourage.com/ 
• Free gift https://johnny-and-lara.mykajabi.com/podcastfreegift

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How are women today redefining intimacy and dating standards? Listen to this episode with Morgan Hewett to find out! — How are women redefining intimacy and dating standards? My podcast guest, Morgan Hewett, is a second-time founder and Harvard Business School MBA building Devin, an AI powered vibrator + erotic audio experience for women. She […]

How are women today redefining intimacy and dating standards? Listen to this episode with Morgan Hewett to find out!

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How are women redefining intimacy and dating standards? My podcast guest, Morgan Hewett, is a second-time founder and Harvard Business School MBA building Devin, an AI powered vibrator + erotic audio experience for women. She previously founded and sold a generative-AI health tech startup and now focuses on modern dating, female desire, and why women are rewriting the rules of relationships in the AI era.

In this episode:

• Why so many successful women opt out of conventional dating
• How to tell the difference between loneliness and desire for a partner
• The role of technology in emotional and sexual fulfillment
• Mindset shifts to date with confidence

EP 711: Morgan Hewett – How Women Are Redefining Intimacy and Dating Standards

Highlights from this episode

What is Devin?

• Morgan Hewitt, Harvard MBA, is the founder of Devin (AI-powered vibrator + interactive erotic audio).
• Devin: device with sensors for adaptive vibration + customizable interactive audio voice/fantasy.
• Target users span ages 30–65; many presale signups from women 40–65.
• Use cases include solo pleasure, partner-enhancement, and therapeutic support for trauma survivors.

Dating trends & why women opt out of dating

• Increasing numbers of women single by choice; many report equal or greater life satisfaction when single.
• Economic independence raises expectations: women now prioritize emotional availability, not just financial stability.
• Generational shift: younger men (Gen Z) show more emotional intelligence; older cohorts may lag.
• Toxic relationship patterns and trauma lead some women to delay or avoid dating.

AI, privacy, and ethical concerns

• Privacy caution: large AI platforms may use conversational data for ads; Devin emphasizes limited/no collection of PII and safe onboarding (use of fantasy identities).
• Ethical concern: AI replacing human creators/artists and full replacement of human relationships is troubling.
• Devin positions AI as augmentation (self-exploration, rehabilitation, sexual literacy), not replacement for human intimacy.

Practical takeaways for dating & sexual health

• Self-knowledge and self-pleasure improve communication and relationship satisfaction.
• Tools like Devin can help people experiment safely, build sexual literacy, and practice intimacy (including for PTSD recovery).
• Dating advice: be authentic, set boundaries, cultivate self-attraction before seeking validation from others.

Connect with Morgan

• Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@morgan.pink.founder  
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/morgan.pink.founder

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Learn the keys to lasting love in this podcast episode with Nick Brancato. Whether you’re single or partnered, this is for you! — Are you interested in unlocking the keys to lasting love? My podcast guest, Nick Brancato, is a personal development coach and educator with over 25 years of experience helping individuals and couples […]

Learn the keys to lasting love in this podcast episode with Nick Brancato. Whether you’re single or partnered, this is for you!

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Are you interested in unlocking the keys to lasting love? My podcast guest, Nick Brancato, is a personal development coach and educator with over 25 years of experience helping individuals and couples connect, communicate, and thrive. With a master’s degree in education and a background as a Microsoft systems engineer, Nick blends practical tools with data-driven frameworks to guide people through life’s challenges, including career shifts, financial pressures, and personal growth. He’s also the author of Prioritize Us: Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test. 

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• Why so many couples experience a “priority drift” and how they can they prevent it
• Some simple, actionable steps couples can start applying right away to realign priorities
• Why individual self-awareness is such a critical component of alignment in relationships
• How aligning priorities within a partnership ripples out to positively impact families and communities
• The Total Difference Score (TDS) framework and its practical applications

EP 669: Nick Brancato – How to Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test

Why do so many couples experience what you refer to as “priority drift,” and how can they prevent it?

The “priority drift” is when two people have similar priorities at the beginning of a relationship, they begin to drift apart, and they don’t discuss their priorities until there’s a crisis. Discussing your shared priorities on an ongoing basis with check ins is key to a lasting loving relationship.

What are some simple, actionable steps couples can start applying right away to realign priorities?

Check in on your individual priorities. In the book there are ten core priorities in life. Rank them in terms of importance. Doing the assessment helps us focus on the top priorities and how we spend our time focused on our priorities. To avoid priority drift, check with your partner – small, medium, and large check ins. The rules are – No screens and no talking about other people. A small check in might be over coffee in the morning. Discuss decisions that you’re making. Ask each other what are your top three priorities on a regular basis. Be curious and open to understand each other.

Why is individual self-awareness such a critical component of alignment in relationships?

If you don’t know yourself, it’s impossible to know other people. You may think you know them, but you don’t. Know your priorities. List them, rank them, and ask yourself how satisfied you are with each priority. How am I using my time, energy and money in alignment with your values. In your relationship, that will be so impactful.

How does aligning priorities within a partnership ripple out to positively impact families and communities?

As you become more aligned with yourself and your relationship, you start to ask better questions of others. You become more curious and empathetic. You understand people’s motives. You communicate better.

Can you explain the Total Difference Score (TDS) framework and its practical applications?

The TDS score is the result of the Prioritize Us test. It measures the strength of your relationship and how aligned you are. It helps you learn to communicate better by ranking your 10 core  priorities, and your partner ranks theirs, and then comparing them. The TDS is your compared score. Once you know where you differ, you can communicate about them and improve your relationship.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Relationships take work, but you don’t have to have perfect alignment. You need small meaningful adjustments. Work on yourself and who you want to be in order to attract your last first date!

Watch this episode here on YouTube

Connect with Nick

• IG https://www.instagram.com/personaldevcoach/ 
• Website https://nickbrancato.com/ 
• Get an ebook of Prioritize Us for FREE at https://www.nickbrancato.com/prioritize-us
• Buy the paperback or hardcover book, Prioritize Us: Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test  https://amzn.to/45XJ460

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

A healthy nervous system = healthy relationships. Tune into this podcast episode about how to regulate your nervous system. — What is the role of the nervous system in healing painful relationships? My podcast, Esin Pinarli, has the answers! She is a holistic psychotherapist and relationship expert specializing in IMAGO therapy, brainspotting, Internal Family Systems […]

A healthy nervous system = healthy relationships. Tune into this podcast episode about how to regulate your nervous system.

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What is the role of the nervous system in healing painful relationships? My podcast, Esin Pinarli, has the answers! She is a holistic psychotherapist and relationship expert specializing in IMAGO therapy, brainspotting, Internal Family Systems (IFS), somatic practices, and psychodrama. Through an integrative experiential approach, she helps individuals and couples suffering from anxiety, depression, addiction, codependency, trauma, and relational attachment issues to navigate life’s challenges so they can become fully alive, supported, and whole. 

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• How our nervous system influences our emotional responses in relationships
• The relationship between our attachment wounds and our nervous system
• How stress in relationships impacts our nervous systems
• Practical exercises for calming the nervous system when triggered

EP 639: Esin Pinarli – The Role of the Nervous System in Healing Painful Relationships

How does our nervous system directly influence our emotional responses in relationships, especially when it comes to conflict and tension?

Everything comes down to our nervous system. It influences how we relate and connect to other people. Neuroception is our surveillance system in our bodies. It helps us decide if it’s safe or unsafe. Understanding our nervous system is crucial in dating.

What are some common ways attachment wounds show up in our nervous systems, and how can awareness of these responses help individuals begin to heal?

The first people we attach to are our caregivers, so depending on how we attached to them, that will show up in our romantic relationships. Our core wounds get activated. If you’re anxiously attached, you’ll be hypervigilant and untrusting of your partners. People are not safe to you. We ask ourselves, are we lovable? Are we enough? Do we expect our partners to give us everything we didn’t get as children? We tend to pick partners who remind us of our unpredictable caregiver. 

Many people may not realize how stress in relationships impacts their nervous system. Could you share some early signs to look out for that indicate the nervous system is in distress?

We feel things in our nervous system first. It signals disconnection. Our brain makes up a story about what happened, because we’re meaning makers. We gaslight ourselves by making excuses for someone’s bad behavior. 

What are some practical tools or exercises you recommend for calming down during relationship triggers?

We need to move into the ventral state – socially engaged, calmer, grounded. How do we get back to our core self and stay more regulated to make better decisions and choices? 

A good exercise to regulate your nervous system: Look at glimmers, micro moments of ventral. Ask yourself what felt good and connected today? Did I walk in nature? Did I see a beautiful flower? Did I have a connected moment with a friend? Savour the glimmers: Take the micro moments of ventral which are are everywhere once we start to look for them and are calmer, and savour them for 30 seconds. Also, humming helps you get to ventral. 

How do you approach helping clients retrain their nervous systems to create more secure, healthy relationships over time?

Pause and get curious about the patterns you engage in, especially in dating. Pull back the curtain to your internal world. Your nervous system will always seek the familiar. We need to change the way we respond and who we choose to partner with. Look for consistent, communicative, interested partners. 

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

I want everyone to go on their last first date. Work on your nervous system with a coach or therapist and befriend your nervous system so you can make healthier choices. Get out of subconscious autopilot so you can say no to what doesn’t work and make room for the right person. 

Watch this episode on Youtube

Connect with Esin

• IG https://www.instagram.com/esinpinarli_lcsw/  

• Website https://www.eternalwellnesscounseling.com/ Free Guide on Homepage: Becoming Aware of Self—An introduction to Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help you access the core of who you are and build more self-awareness for inner healing and harmony

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Have you ever overlooked red flags in dating? In this episode, you’ll discover the subtle red flags you might have missed in the past. — Which red flags in dating have you missed? Katharina is an Attachment-Based Specialist and an Emotionally Focused Individual therapist with over 25 years of experience helping couples and individuals build […]

Have you ever overlooked red flags in dating? In this episode, you’ll discover the subtle red flags you might have missed in the past.

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Which red flags in dating have you missed? Katharina is an Attachment-Based Specialist and an Emotionally Focused Individual therapist with over 25 years of experience helping couples and individuals build stronger, more resilient relationships. A graduate of Columbia University, she is the Founder and Clinical Director of Love Frontier Therapy Group and has dedicated her career to helping people understand the patterns behind conflict, repair emotional disconnection, and create lasting intimacy.

In this episode:

• The subtle red flags in dating many people miss
• Warning signs couples ignore early on
• Deal breakers that might be an opportunity for repair in disguise
• Instead of running away from conflict, get curious instead

EP 727: Katharina Sandizell – The Subtle Red Flags Nobody Talks About in Dating

Highlights of this episode:

Subtle red flags in dating

• Obvious red flags include active substance use and untreated addictions; recovery requires sustained work and may coexist with other behaviors.
• Pay attention to how you feel around someone — relaxed and authentic vs. holding your breath or chronically anxious.
• Excessive self-focus or nonstop talkative behavior is a warning sign. Overly flattering or “love-bombing” energy can mask self-centered or narcissistic traits.
• Misaligned values can be hidden by shared labels (e.g., same religion on paper but different practices/commitments).
• Be wary of people who cannot take feedback, blame others, or show rigid, fixed mindsets about growth or change.
• Therapy history is not an automatic indicator of being healed; willingness to learn and be vulnerable matters more than whether someone “has been to therapy.”

Attachment patterns, conflict, and repair

• Typical anxious–avoidant dance — one partner pursues/criticizes, the other withdraws — escalates disconnection; recognize the negative cycle.
• Effective repair relies on vulnerable sharing of underlying fears (e.g., “I’m scared I’m losing you”) rather than surface anger or lists of complaints.
• Shame and past family dynamics explain many avoidant patterns; partners can learn to reassure each other’s “raw spots.”
• Co-regulation (soothing each other) restores closeness; work on expressing needs early, before resentment builds.
• Practical collaboration (e.g., money strategies) and one partner changing their interactional steps can shift the couple’s dance and improve outcomes.

Dating mindset & practical advice for finding lasting love

• Visualize how you want to feel with a partner (relaxed, laughing, connected) rather than rigid checklists.
• Focus on underlying qualities (curiosity, emotional availability) rather than surface credentials (height, degree).
• Do the “footwork” (effort, self-work, trying new things) and then let go — be open to unexpected matches.
• Ask for what you need vulnerably and give others the benefit of the doubt during crises; early, gentle requests are easier to receive than late, angry demands.
• Beware of overgiving — monitor early signs of resentment and set boundaries to preserve connection.

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Connect With Katharina

• Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@LoveFrontierTherapyGroup 
• IG https://www.instagram.com/lovefrontiertherapy/ 
• Website https://lovefrontiertherapy.com/

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Send me your dating dilemmas to be featured in an upcoming episode: https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, apply for a complimentary 30-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Did you know that pleasure is crucial to our wellbeing? My podcast guest, sexologist Tugce Balik, dives deeper into this topic! — Tugce Balik believes that pleasure is essential to our wellness. She blends Western science with Eastern traditions to help people heal, reconnect, and feel at home in their bodies and with each other. […]

Did you know that pleasure is crucial to our wellbeing? My podcast guest, sexologist Tugce Balik, dives deeper into this topic!

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Tugce Balik believes that pleasure is essential to our wellness. She blends Western science with Eastern traditions to help people heal, reconnect, and feel at home in their bodies and with each other. She’s a certified Tibetan Tantra practitioner and an American Board-Certified Sexologist with a focus on healing through embodiment. Her approach is gentle, empowering, and rooted in deep care. To her, pleasure isn’t something you earn. It’s your birthright, your medicine, and her work at Arya helps couples remember exactly that.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• Why pleasure is moving from taboo to essential wellness
• Why 57% of couples can’t talk about sex—and practical ways to bridge that divide
• How intimacy impacts stress, hormones, and overall relationship satisfaction
• How technology can help couples approach once-uncomfortable conversations 
• Arya’s Erotic Personas and how they can help partners understand each other

EP 686: Tugce Balik – Why Pleasure is Essential to Wellness (and no longer taboo)

Why do you think pleasure is moving from taboo to essential wellness?

We’re in the second wave of the wellness movement. First we were taking care of our bodies and our personal care. Now, we understand our sexuality is a huge part of our whole self. We can’t just separate them. Many of us have had sexual trauma or taboo in our past. That’s why I’m so passionate about helping people see how important pleasure is.

Why do 57% of couples struggle to talk about sex—and what are practical ways to bridge that divide?

Do we know ourselves well enough to communicate our needs and desires. Begin with the connection you have with each other. Schedule time with your partner. Be present with each other and create safety in each other’s bodies. Sit across from each other, breathe together, gaze into each other’s eyes, and coregulate. Then, you can have a hard conversation. Frame it as an invitation with curiosity. We have an intimacy deck of cards that help the conversation. 

If you’re in the middle of sex and you don’t like something, pause, start with appreciation first and then guide them to what would make it even better. You can use your hand or their hand to show them what you like. You can also demo it on their body.

For anyone entering a relationship later in life, how can we deal with post-menopause issues or erectile dysfuntion?

Have a conversation before sex to explain what you need to have more pleasure. Talk about lube and whatever else you need. More pauses and breaks? And with men who have erectile dysfunction, there are many causes, and it happens at all ages. It’s important first to find out the root cause of the dysfunction. If it’s physical, you can work with a pelvic floor specialist or talk to your doctor about what you can do. If you’re going through stress, your hormones are affected.

Also, what does your self-pleasure routine look like? That impacts how you have sex. Cultivate a pleasure routine that’s not just centered on orgasm. 

How does technology help couples approach once-uncomfortable conversations? 

Everyone has different intimacy languages. Technology helps identify their play styles and erotic desires. The more information we have, the better it is. When you know your patterns, you can explore more. We give monthly guided experiences to couples based on their patterns and personas.

What are Arya’s Erotic Personas and how do they help partners understand each other? 

The categories are: The romantic prioritizes intimacy and connection, focuses on the journey. The directors enjoy more spontaneous sex, straightforward, goal oriented towards orgasm. The connectors prioritize sensuality and stimulation. The adventurers are into kink and variety.

The pairings are interesting, and it’s also good to see that we’re not always what we thought we were.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Recenter yourself rather than centering on the other person. Be less hyper-focused on what they think of you, and focus more on how you’re feeling in the presence of the other person. Ask, “What does this person bring out in me?”

Connect with Tugce:

• Tugce IG: https://www.instagram.com/iamtugcebalik/ 
• Arya IG: https://www.instagram.com/arya.fyi/
• Arya website: https://www.arya.fyi/join/ 

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

What’s wrong with dating apps today? Discover how to overcome dating app issues – and learn how to date more successfully. — Dating apps can feel broken due to choice overload, which leads to shallow connections and difficulty committing. Ready for something that’s more intentional? My podcast guest, Ludovic Huraux is CEO of Amata, an […]

What’s wrong with dating apps today? Discover how to overcome dating app issues – and learn how to date more successfully.

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Dating apps can feel broken due to choice overload, which leads to shallow connections and difficulty committing. Ready for something that’s more intentional? My podcast guest, Ludovic Huraux is CEO of Amata, an AI matchmaking app designed for intentional daters. His first dating platform in Paris led to more than 2,000 weddings, and he later founded Shapr, a networking app that connected millions before its acquisition. He has dedicated his career to helping people build meaningful connections, both romantic and professional.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

• Lessons from helping 2,000+ couples find lasting love, and what it taught him about real compatibility
• Why today’s dating apps feel broken, and how people can date more intentionally
• How to get AI to think like a human matchmaker, and what early insights from Amata reveal about modern dating
• The future of dating, including where technology can help, and where it should step back

EP 682: Ludovic Huraux – Why Dating Apps Feel Broken (and how people can date more intentionally)

What are some lessons you learned about compatibility from helping 2,000+ couples find lasting love?

Physical attraction is important, but not as important as people might think. In swiping apps, people make their choices based on a photo, but that doesn’t usually work in the long run. One challenge is to make people aware that the person isn’t right for them. AI helps them use the right criteria for compatibility.

Why do today’s dating apps feel broken, and how can people date more intentionally?

We tried to promote less time online and meeting in person in real life as soon as possible. See if you share values. AI’s questions are completely different. We remove the swipe before the date, and your conversation with AI is very personal. After talking with AI, it will pitch you matches and take feedback to help you find your match. It replicates the experience of a human matchmaker.

Four steps to make a match

1. Get to know you
2. Pitch compatible people
3. Organize a date if both want to meet
4. Debrief dates and collect feedback

AI matchmaker is available 24 hours a day and is much cheaper than a human matchmaker.

How can someone get AI to think like a human matchmaker, and what do early insights from your app Amata reveal about modern dating?

On Tinder, you need 57 matches to go on one real date. With Amata, we cut the time spent online and make better matches. If someone cancels two dates in a row, they are banned for seven dates. This cuts back on unintentional daters.

What do you believe is the future of dating, including where technology can help, and where it should step back?

AI can improve matchmaking. The next step will be working on the coaching experience as well, because both are important for finding lasting love.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

AI experience makes the dating experience more human. It is much more helpful than a swiping app. It’s more conversational, it accepts feedback and applies it to improve matching. The next generation of AI matchmaking will help people find love. Go on real dates. Meet people in real life, because that’s where you fall in love.

Connect with Ludovic

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ludovic-huraux-11a441 
• Amata app: https://www.amata.ai/ 
• IG: https://www.instagram.com/amata_app 

Watch this episode on YouTube

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Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How do you have deeper conversations on a first date? These 5 questions will open up lively, informative, and connecting conversations. — Early dating doesn’t have to feel like an interview or a performance. The most meaningful connections grow when conversations move beyond small talk and into curiosity, values, and things you have in common. […]

How do you have deeper conversations on a first date? These 5 questions will open up lively, informative, and connecting conversations.

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Early dating doesn’t have to feel like an interview or a performance. The most meaningful connections grow when conversations move beyond small talk and into curiosity, values, and things you have in common.

If you’re dating and craving something real, these five questions can gently open the door to deeper conversations. They’re not about pushing intimacy too fast or interrogating your date to see if there are red or green flags. They’re about listening, noticing, and seeing whether there’s room to grow together.

1. What feels fulfilling to you right now?

This question reveals priorities. Some people light up talking about family, creativity, travel, volunteering, or even slowing down. Pay attention not just to the answer, but to the energy behind it. If you want to learn if their vision aligns with where you are in your life today, this is a great question.

2. What’s something you’re really enjoying or excited about these days?

This keeps the focus in the present and invites enthusiasm. It might be a hobby, a project, a class, a new routine, or even a simple pleasure. Notice what brings them joy, whether they’re stagnant or excited about life, and whether they’re open to sharing their interests with you. If you’re looking for someone who continues to engage in life no matter their age, this question is a good one.

3. Is there something you’re curious about or learning right now?

This question gently reveals mindset. Curiosity often signals openness and growth. It can lead to conversations about books, travel, creativity, or new experiences they want to explore. If you’re looking for a lifetime learner, this question is for you.

4. What do you value most in a close partnership?

Whether they mention trust, laughter, loyalty, growth, or they give you a blank stare, you’re learning what they consider essential in a relationship. If you want to learn if their values around partnership and relationships feel compatible with your own needs and desires, ask this question.

5. What helps you feel most connected to someone?

This question touches on emotional intimacy without being too heavy or intrusive. Some people feel connected through conversation, shared experiences, affection, or quality time. If you want to know how someone bonds, this can offer insight into whether your connection styles complement each other.

You certainly don’t need to ask all of these questions on one date. Let them unfold naturally. Depth isn’t created by the questions alone, but by listening and following up with curiosity.

The right conversations don’t rush the relationship or feel pushy. They help you get to know the most important qualities of the person you’re dating. And that’s where real connection begins.

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FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with me and explore how private coaching can help! https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join my free Facebook group, Your Last First Date https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get my books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating: Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love.