Category: Uncategorized

How the Alpha Male Mindset Sabotages Relationships

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How is the alpha male mindset sabotaging dating and relationships? Listen to Dave Rossi, a recovering alpha male who remarried after changing how he approached dating. — Dave Rossi is the author of Alphas Die Early: For the Man on a Mission—And the Women Who Love Him and the #1 bestselling book The Imperative Habit: […]

alpha male

How is the alpha male mindset sabotaging dating and relationships? Listen to Dave Rossi, a recovering alpha male who remarried after changing how he approached dating.

—

Dave Rossi is the author of Alphas Die Early: For the Man on a Mission—And the Women Who Love Him and the #1 bestselling book The Imperative Habit: 7 Non-Spiritual Practices Towards Spiritual Behavior – For Happiness, Health, Love, and Success. Dave’s work challenges outdated models of masculinity and success, guiding men to move beyond performance and into authenticity, emotional strength, and purpose. His perspective helps individuals build deeper, more meaningful relationships by aligning how they live with who they truly are.

In this episode:

  • Why the alpha male mindset is sabotaging dating and relationships
  • How to date with more discernment
  • The importance of defining your values and boundaries when dating
  • Why difficult conversations are crucial to intimate relationships

EP 714: Dave Rossi – How the Alpha Male Mindset Sabotages Relationships

Highlights of this episode:

Dating approach & outcomes

  • David applied spiritual principles and clear goals to dating after a 17-year marriage.
  • Primary goal: find a sustainable, serious relationship (not casual dating).
  • Prioritized “friendship first” to test long-term compatibility before romance.
  • Practiced discernment: avoid relationships that felt unsustainable (age, location, lifestyle).
  • Result: remarried at 55 after years of intentional dating and curated selection.

Sovereignty, masculinity, and vulnerability

  • Sovereignty = wholeness; make choices from abundance, not scarcity.
  • “Feathers vs. bird” metaphor: present authentic self (bird), not performative traits (feathers).
  • True vulnerability is strong—possible only from a secure, independent place.
  • Men (and women) should resist cultural scripts/masks and act from internal values.

Friendship, curiosity, and communication

  • Friendship defined by curiosity, safety, and consistent effort—not just chemistry or attraction.
  • Ask deeper questions; listen for genuine engagement versus performative responses.
  • Have difficult conversations: plan timing/context, be clear, kind, direct, and accountable.
  • Address boundaries early; mutual effort reduces resentment and builds sustainability.

Parenting & boundary strategies

  • Prioritize presence, time, and consistent values with children over material provision.
  • Reduce toxic interactions by minimizing unnecessary triggers (practical adjustments after divorce).
  • Teach children to set boundaries and speak up; model accountability and respectful communication.

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Connect With Dave:

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Send me your dating dilemmas to be featured in an upcoming episode: https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Love Deliberately in Midlife and Beyond (Without Working So Hard)

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How do you love deliberately in midlife and beyond without repeating old patterns and working so hard? Tune in to this episode to find out! — How do you love deliberately in midlife and beyond? Alfina Lofaro is a kinesiologist, coach, author and speaker helping people build healthier relationships with themselves and others. Through Love […]

love deliberately

How do you love deliberately in midlife and beyond without repeating old patterns and working so hard? Tune in to this episode to find out!

—

How do you love deliberately in midlife and beyond? Alfina Lofaro is a kinesiologist, coach, author and speaker helping people build healthier relationships with themselves and others. Through Love Deliberately, she teaches self-awareness, communication, boundaries and compassion, drawing on more than two decades of experience and her own lived journey to help audiences connect with greater intention and responsibility.

In this episode:

  • How doing more in relationships impacts your relationship with yourself
  • Why we repeat relationship patterns while waiting for the other person to change
  • How COVID revealed the quality of people’s relationships
  • Why your body reacts when your mind wants to respond differently

EP 720: Alfina Lofaro – How to Love Deliberately in Midlife and Beyond (Without Working So Hard)

Highlights of this episode:

Kinesiology & coaching approach

  • Kinesiology (AU) described as energy modality combining traditional Chinese medicine and chiropractic; differs from US physiotherapy.
  • Alfina uses muscle testing to ask the body what it needs, set goals, and reveal unconscious patterns in priority order.
  • Focus on balancing the “triangle of health”: structure/function, biochemistry, mental-emotional.
  • Work is collaborative: kinesiology is “with you,” not “done to you”; body reveals only what the client is willing to address.
  • Practical aims: neutralize charged sabotage programs, create new neural pathways, define deliberate behaviors (boundaries, communication, reciprocity).

Repeating patterns, healing, and “loving deliberately”

  • Common root: childhood learning (e.g., people-pleasing, “earn love” belief) teaches behaviors that attract similar partners/situations.
  • Steps to change: awareness → neutralize emotional charge (kinesiology/acupressure) → choose new actions and practice them repeatedly.
  • Key coaching targets: clarify needs vs. wants, set boundaries, practice asking for/receiving support, learn forgiveness and trust skills (with practical how-to).
  • Age is not a barrier: examples of clients in their 60s–70s successfully shifting patterns and forming fulfilling relationships.
  • Metaphor: sabotaging beliefs act like charged magnets; neutralizing charge enables choice rather than automatic repetition.

COVID, dating, and relationship dynamics

  • COVID intensified daily exposure between partners, magnifying existing strengths and weaknesses (less external input → more “marinated” relationship energy).
  • Outcomes diverged: some couples imploded; others deepened connection or accelerated commitments; singles faced increased loneliness but more intentional dating.
  • Telehealth and online programs (e.g., Relationship Reset) helped people confront deficits in communication, conflict resolution, creativity in intimacy.
  • Practical takeaway: use intentionality in dating (ask “energizing or draining?” after dates), clarify needs, and use coaching/tools if patterns persist.

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Connect With Alfina

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Send me your dating dilemmas to be featured in an upcoming episode: https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, apply for a complimentary 30-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Breakup Recovery: How to Heal From a Breakup and Date Again

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How do you heal from a breakup and when do you begin to date again? Learn about breakup recovery on the podcast with breakup coach, Cole Zesiger. — Cole Zesiger is a breakup and relationship coach specializing in breakup recovery, dating advice, and relationship coaching. After a divorce at 23 and another breakup soon after, […]

heal from a breakup

How do you heal from a breakup and when do you begin to date again? Learn about breakup recovery on the podcast with breakup coach, Cole Zesiger.

—

Cole Zesiger is a breakup and relationship coach specializing in breakup recovery, dating advice, and relationship coaching. After a divorce at 23 and another breakup soon after, he began sharing his journey on social media—growing to over 750,000 followers across Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and more.  He has coached 2,000+ people through heartbreak, helping them either rekindle relationships in a healthy way or move on with peace. His practical approach blends psychology, attachment theory, and real-world strategies to guide people from heartbreak to healing.  When not coaching, Cole enjoys time with his wife and daughter, playing guitar, dirt biking, and exploring the mountains. His debut book, Ex’s and No’s: The Breakup Advice You Don’t Want to Hear, offers a proven roadmap to rebuild self-worth, master communication, and create healthy, lasting love.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio

  • What keeps people from moving on after breaking up?
  • Do you really need closure after a breakup?
  • Is it ever a good idea to get back together?
  • How do attachment styles affect breakups?
  • Should you accept friendship right after a breakup?

EP 691: Cole Zesiger – Breakup Recovery: How to Heal From a Breakup and Date Again

What keeps people from moving on after breaking up?

Three things need to be present in order to move on. 1. There has to be a narrative that it makes sense that the relationship is over. 2. Life has to be at least as good in the present as it was in the past. 3. You need proof that love exists in the world, that you’re capable of feeling attraction again. It could be going on dates or joining social groups. 

We give mental energy to things that are unclosed in our lives, especially when we don’t know why. This applies to breakups. With a breakup, if you feel you can’t get closure, try to see the bigger picture and how it led you to where you are today. Look at what you’ve gained, what you’re grateful for, and how the skills you gained led you to become who you are today.

Is it ever a good idea to get back together with an ex?

In a calm moment, write down three to five things  that you’d need to see change in your partner for the relationship to work. The list has to be understood by a seven year old. Specific. Actionable, and measurable.

How do attachment styles affect breakups?

Secure attachment: Grieves the loss of that person, but believes they are worthy of love. They focus on what’s in their control quickly.

Anxious attachment: Denial. Love exists, but I need to get my ex back. I will mold into anything I can to be loved. They also grow a lot.

Avoidant attachment: I’m good enough. Love can hurt me so I have to keep it far away. They jump right into dating apps again and it comes back to bite them soon after. They avoid healing.

Disorganized attachment. They usually have off and on relationships. Switch to open relationships, to situationships.

Should you accept friendship right after a breakup?

Right after a breakup if one person has feelings, it makes it difficult to be friends. If you have moved on and want to be friends later on, that’s different. Most people beg for friendship, or the one who’s leaving will offer friendship as consolation. Anxiously attached people tend to accept friendship and hope the other person will begin to fall back in love eventually.

People go through the breakup loop of doom by staying friends. Eventually, one partner does something that gives the other hope that they will get back together. It’s a vicious cycle.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Build a life you’re fulfilled by before bringing someone into it. It can go too far if you’ve built such an established life that you don’t want to break routines. But, when you have a full life with a mission and meaning bigger than yourself and bring someone else into it, you’ll have an easier time with dating and relationships.

Connect With Cole

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Overcome Limerence and Find Real Love

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How can we overcome limerence and find true love? Amanda McCracken wrote a fabulous book on this topic. Tune in to the pod to learn more. — Do you want to overcome limerence and finally have a healthy relationship? My podcast guest, Amanda McCracken, wrote the book on how to stop infatuation to find authentic […]

overcome limerence

How can we overcome limerence and find true love? Amanda McCracken wrote a fabulous book on this topic. Tune in to the pod to learn more.

—

Do you want to overcome limerence and finally have a healthy relationship? My podcast guest, Amanda McCracken, wrote the book on how to stop infatuation to find authentic love. She’s a journalist passionate about experiences that highlight the intersection of wellness, travel, and relationships. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Washington Post, Guardian, Vogue, and many others. She is considered a “limerence expert” and intimacy advocate. Her 2023 TED Talk, “How Longing Keeps Us From Healthy Relationships,” and her podcast, The Longing Lab, highlight how longing can become self sabotaging and shares how to change our patterns of longing. McCracken is also a part-time university instructor, massage therapist, triathlon coach, and competitive athlete. 

In this episode:

  • The key characteristics of limerence
  • Who’s most likely to be affected by limerence?
  • How limerence affects your everyday life
  • How limerence and love addiction are alike and different
  • How having ADHD predisposes one to having limerence
  • How the current dating scene/culture affects those that experience limerence 

EP 713: Amanda McCracken – How to Overcome Limerence and Find Real Love

Highlights of this episode:

Limerence: definition and personal backstory

  • Limerence = intense, obsessive rumination/idealization of a romantic interest; “crush on steroids.”
  • Can occur without a relationship starting; long-lasting “limerent objects” persist for years.
  • Amanda linked her long history of limerence to later ADHD diagnosis (hyperfixation, dopamine/anticipation-driven reward).

Causes and contributing factors

  • Potential roots: attachment disruptions, subtle childhood traumas, birth separations, eldest-child/perfectionist roles.
  • ADHD, social media, dating apps, hookup culture, and AI-enhanced interactions amplify uncertainty, intermittent reinforcement, and rumination.
  • Cultural myths (Hollywood chemistry) confuse anxiety-driven attraction with healthy love.

Healing and therapeutic approaches

  • Combine neuroscience (interrupt rumination / trigger-behavior-reward cycles) and somatic work (body-based emotional awareness).
  • Psychological work: build self-worth, challenge illusion of control, release blame, practice mantras (e.g., “I am ready for and worthy of a deeply intimate and loving relationship”).
  • Practical indicators of healthy partners: trust, consistent actions, care, curiosity, patience, emotional regulation, and reliable behavior (not just attraction).

Dating coaching, matchmaking, and practical dating advice

  • Dating apps and modern dating dynamics can fuel limerence; focus instead on long-term relational qualities (communication, conflict resolution, trust).
  • Beware of unqualified/overpromising dating coaches; look for experience, ethical practices, and evidence-based approaches.
  • For a “last first date”: do personal inner work, cultivate readiness (right person, right time, right you), and prioritize trust and consistent action over instant chemistry.

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Connect with Amanda:

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Submit your dating dilemma to be answered on my podcast https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

The Hidden Costs of Trauma

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What are the hidden costs of trauma? My podcast guest, Dr. Kirsten Harrison, shares the powerful story of a woman who overcame severe trauma. — Dr. Kirsten Viola Harrison is a trauma psychologist, author, and founder of Soul Wise Solutions. For over 35 years, she has guided individuals through profound psychological and spiritual transitions, including […]

hidden costs of trauma

What are the hidden costs of trauma? My podcast guest, Dr. Kirsten Harrison, shares the powerful story of a woman who overcame severe trauma.

—

Dr. Kirsten Viola Harrison is a trauma psychologist, author, and founder of Soul Wise Solutions. For over 35 years, she has guided individuals through profound psychological and spiritual transitions, including C-PTSD, schizophrenia, and near-death experiences. She is the co-author of “I, Sean/a: The Story of a Homeless Intersex Woman Who Inspired a Community”, the remarkable true story of Sean/a Smith, an intersex woman living with schizophrenia, whose life challenges stigma and who inspires a movement toward dignity, inclusion, and soul-deep healing.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • The hidden costs of trauma
  • Hope for those who are struggling with any type trauma
  • Great advice for those who are dating after any kind of traumatic relationship

EP 685: Dr. Kirsten Viola Harrison – The Hidden Costs of Trauma

What inspired you to pursue a career in trauma psychology?

I always was interested in trauma and asked my professors to teach more about it. I’m so happy it’s grown and blossomed. Trauma has an effect on everything we do. There are many gifts in overcoming trauma.

For anyone listening who might be struggling with their own trauma, what would you say to offer hope or encouragement? 

Keep track of the micro steps. Appreciate all the little steps. Take what you’re given in childhood, and use it to grow. Rewrite your story. If your worth is tied up in how much you can help someone, this is a trauma response. It illuminates that you can be a helper AND have balance in your life instead of having an energy drain. Traumas rework themselves over time. Shift to making your self-knowledge a priority. What do you want to accomplish in your lifetime? Be more strategic about it.

Your book “I, Sean/a” explores homelessness, intersex identity, schizophrenia, and spirituality. Tell us a little about the story and what you want readers to take away.

My ex-husband was an international tennis pro. We moved to La Jolla and he noticed Sean who hung out at the courts. One day, Sean became Seana with a blonde wig. I sparked a conversation and eventually found out she was homeless. She was outside freezing, and I asked if she had shelter. I had no idea she was unhoused. I checked her into a hotel and contacted the newspaper to have them write about this beloved person. We ran a go fund me, got her off the street, and it became apparent that we needed a next step. I wanted to write her story with her, and she said yes. That turned into a ten year endeavor. 

I want people to understand resilience, post traumatic growth, and what to do when you feel hopeless and don’t belong. Don’t give up. You never know what’s going to happen around the corner. Be unapologetically yourself. Stop worrying about what people think.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Stay open and curious. Expand your field of awareness. We all have something to teach each other. Ask yourself what you need to expand your own journey. See the other person’s wholeness and beauty. It takes some of the pressure away from finding your person. If you follow this path, at some point, you’ll meet the right person.

Connect with Dr. Harrison

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

 The Surprising Reasons Why People Cheat

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Want to know why people cheat? My podcast guest, Paul Keable, the Chief Strategy Officer of Ashley Madison, shares insights on cheating that may surprise you. — Why do people cheat? As Chief Strategy Officer of Ashley Madison, Paul Keable oversees the strategic direction of the dating site, Ashley Madison, emphasizing discretion, authenticity, and innovation […]

why people cheat

Want to know why people cheat? My podcast guest, Paul Keable, the Chief Strategy Officer of Ashley Madison, shares insights on cheating that may surprise you.

—

Why do people cheat? As Chief Strategy Officer of Ashley Madison, Paul Keable oversees the strategic direction of the dating site, Ashley Madison, emphasizing discretion, authenticity, and innovation within the dating industry. Under his leadership, the platform has implemented initiatives such as user verification through government IDs to combat fraudulent activity and build trust among members. As the platform continues to evolve, Keable’s insights remain central to its ability to adapt and resonate with its growing global user base.

In this episode:

  • Why do people cheat?
  • What constitutes cheating in a relationship?
  • How can cheating affect mental health?
  • How can affairs save marriages?
  • Are all affairs equal?
  • What is a modern relationship and what are the rules of one?
  • Should your affair remain a secret?

EP 654: Paul Keable – The Surprising Reasons Why People Cheat

The tagline of Ashely Madison is “Life is short. Have an affair.” Why do people cheat?

There’s a study about why men vs women cheat. They found that 80% of women cheated due to a sexless or orgasm-less marriage. They didn’t want to leave the marriage but wanted to have sex. They felt that the affair led to a better marriage and better life.

The reasons why men cheat are about emotional validation. We live in a world where men are told to be stoic and often don’t get the compliments women get. They’re looking for that validation. 

Why not open the marriage or speak about it with their spouse? Many people do talk about the issues and they’re not resolved. Also, divorce is expensive and carries other challenges people may not want to face.

What constitutes cheating in a relationship?

When we promise fidelity for life at the altar, we don’t always identify what cheating is. We need to define what monogamy and cheating is for you. Have a monogamy contract renewed every five years. Your parameters change over time.

How can cheating affect mental health?

Any adverse event in a relationship can affect mental health. How do we view the person who’s been cheated on? How do we view the cheater? If you’re in a sexless marriage with a spouse who doesn’t want to have sex anymore and you love them, what are your choices?

How can affairs save marriages?

If the affair doesn’t get discovered, it can have a positive effect on marriage. Sometimes, when there’s infidelity, it blows open the issues and forces couples to work things through.

Are all affairs equal?

Not all affairs are equal. There are people with spouses who can’t meet the needs of their spouse due to illness or other factors. An affair can fulfill sexual needs while you remain as a caretaker for your spouse.

Should your affair remain a secret?

It depends on the objective. Sometimes it forces hard conversations. We’re in the business of undisclosed affairs. Tell your affair partner what your intention is. We launched our business in the early two thousands when online dating was taking off. The office is our competition. Office affairs are often not a good place for affairs. CEOs with consensual affairs have been fired. It’s more risky.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

As a person who recently left a long marriage, start with the internal questions about your objective and intent in dating. What type of relationship do you want to be in? Who would you want to have that relationship with? What are the hard stops for you? Be clear about those things, and you’ll have a much easier time finding your match.

Website https://www.ashleymadison.com/

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find your person, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

Why Successful Women Over 40 Struggle to Find Love

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Why do successful women over 40 struggle to find love today? Riana Malia tells all in this episode of Last First Date Radio. — Why do successful women over 40 struggle to find love? Riana Malia is an Identity Architect and Board-Certified Neurosomatic Practitioner. She rewires why love hasn’t matched the life high-achieving women have […]

struggle to find love

Why do successful women over 40 struggle to find love today? Riana Malia tells all in this episode of Last First Date Radio.

—

Why do successful women over 40 struggle to find love? Riana Malia is an Identity Architect and Board-Certified Neurosomatic Practitioner. She rewires why love hasn’t matched the life high-achieving women have built, working below insight at the level where the choosing actually changes. She’s the founder of the Brilliance Brunch and author of The Last Piece on Substack.

In this episode:

  • The role of neuroscience is creating permanent change
  • Why high-achieving women need a different approach to love
  • Why understanding the problem isn’t enough
  • What makes love the one area where problem solving skills aren’t effective enough

EP 719: Riana Malia – Why Successful Women Over 40 Struggle to Find Love (And How to Change It)

Highlights of this episode:

Guest background & catalyst for the work she does

  • Riana Malia shared her personal story: early marriage and divorce, single parenting, relocation to California, financial betrayal tied to her father’s business, and later an abusive relationship.
  • Those cumulative experiences led her to seek a different approach to relationships and identity work.
  • She reframed her mission as helping high-achieving women clear unconscious patterns so they can create and claim fulfilling romantic partnerships.
  • Emphasis: insight alone isn’t enough — replace unconscious neurology and behaviors to stop repeating patterns.

Clear to Create method & practical techniques

  • Framework:Clear → Create → Claim; clear limiting stories and emotional charge first, then build new identity and behaviors.
  • Key concepts:
    • Most thought activity is unconscious (~90%); repeated negative thoughts reinforce unwanted outcomes.
    • Emotional “charge” accumulates over time (cellular memory); releasing it creates space for new outcomes.
    • Frequency/state matters: higher-frequency emotions (gratitude, love) attract different experiences than low-frequency emotions (shame, fear).
  • Away/Toward exercise (72-hour rewiring):
    • Use two sheets titled “Away” (what you don’t want) and “Toward” (what you want). Photograph/store lists for quick access.
    • Wear a firm rubber band for 72 hours. Snap it when you notice a negative/unhelpful thought, record the thought, then immediately replace it with a positive/desired feeling or a specific “toward” item.
    • If needed, use rapid grounding: 30–60 seconds visualizing sensory detail of the desired outcome, or a quick act of service to raise frequency.
    • Repetition rewires neural pathways; the exercise is designed to create fast shifts in 72 hours.
  • Quantum Time Release / charge release:
    • Technique to clear accumulated emotional charge without re-litigating past trauma; creates less reactivity to triggers so old stories don’t re-drive behavior.

Resources, outcomes & final advice

  • Riana reports rapid transformations in clients, including her own marriage after doing the work.
  • Diagnostic tool: Extraordinary Love Index (E.L.I.) quiz.rianamalia.com— 40-question assessment with a detailed ~25-page report identifying blocks across 9 areas (attachment, trauma, recognition, etc.).
  • Final guidance: You are not too late or too much; clear underlying patterns and replace them with new neurology/strategies rather than relying on more insight alone.

Watch this episode on YouTube here:

Connect With Riana

  • Website: https://rianamalia.com
  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rianamalia/
  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RianaMalia
  • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rianamalia/
  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@rianamalia
  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rianamalia121
  • Substack: https://substack.com/@rianamalia

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Send me your dating dilemmas to be featured in an upcoming episode: https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, apply for a complimentary 30-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Stop Losing Yourself in Relationships

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If you want to stop losing yourself in relationships, listen to this episode with couples therapists, Robin Temple & Michael Moore. — Stop losing yourself in relationships! Married for over thirty years, Robin Temple and Michael Moore can help you have healthier relationships. They have led workshops and retreats for more than 1,500 couples and […]

losing yourself in relationships

If you want to stop losing yourself in relationships, listen to this episode with couples therapists, Robin Temple & Michael Moore.

—

Stop losing yourself in relationships! Married for over thirty years, Robin Temple and Michael Moore can help you have healthier relationships. They have led workshops and retreats for more than 1,500 couples and have trained dozens of leaders in couples work. They provide retreats and coaching that delivers positive change quickly and predictably, providing couples with surprisingly rapid improvements in understanding and happiness.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • What couples need to know to be happy together
  • Why gratitude is so powerful for couples and a simple, effective way to practice it every day
  • What it takes for real listening to occur
  • How to encourage someone to speak up with confidence that their message will get through… without resistance or blow-back
  • What is the “Art of the Apology,” and how can it repair hurts or long standing issues that might otherwise seem impossible to overcome?
  • Some effective first steps for resolving an issue that feels “unresolvable”—like money differences or intimacy problems

EP 655: Robin Temple & Michael Moore – How to Stop Losing Yourself in Relationships

What inspired you to do the work you do, and what has helped you make it through the challenges of a thirty-year marriage? 

Robin: We both have been through divorce, and I was left with many questions about my divorce. I didn’t have a lot of self-awareness about why it happened. It left me wondering about how long-term relationships can endure. I had been a therapist, but I went back to grad school to learn about marriages. We teach what we need to learn. Michael and I had a strong connection, but I wasn’t sure how we could blend lives. We took our time.

Michael: We moved in for a summer as a trial. I thought it would be amazing, and it was difficult from the start. We weren’t hopeful. The hardest part was our differences around parenting. I thought it was most important to teach self-reliance. Robin was more about nourishing and encouraging creativity. We didn’t think we could figure out how to blend our lives. Eventually, Robin went on 24 days of training. The Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills program helped her learn what she could. I became intrigued by the program, and I joined her in the program. I was the only non-therapist there. For the first time, I felt Robin really heard and respected my point of view and that it was coming from a loving place. That was huge for us! We both became master teachers.

What do couples need to know to get along and be happy together without losing themselves?

Michael: You need other relationships in your life. Don’t only depend on your partner for every aspect of your life. Have other communities that your partner is not a part of. We have a quiz on our website which tests for key areas in your relationship. Respect is essential. Over time, learn what matters most.

Robin: We have a model called a ‘powergram’ to help them map out areas of responsibility and power. Where are you autonomous and where do you decide things together?

How do you encourage someone to speak up with confidence that their message will get through… without resistance or blow-back?

Robin: If the conversation is not going well, stop and take a break. Within an hour, suggest a time to get together within twenty four hours for a do-over.  Take turns talking and listening. Be empathic, even if you don’t agree. It’s not fair to just complain without making a request. 

Michael: Do simple mundane things that evoke positivity. Have a regular daily practice of gratitude. The more specific the better. So, when there’s a problem, there’s credit in your emotional bank. It’s also important to take turns. Both can’t be understood at the same time. The person listening only listens and offers validation at the end. Learn to ask for what matters. Own your part of the story.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Robin: While relationships seem mysterious and difficult territory, because our least mature and developed selves show up, know there are simple and powerful tools. With the right support, you can navigate change.

Michael: About seven years into our relationship, I developed an emotional infatuation with someone else, and I asked Robin to end the relationship and go on a provisional marriage for a while. It took a long time for us to not have long term grievances. We’ve been going on our first date for a long time. We don’t take each other for granted. Keep it fresh.

Connect with Michael and Robin

Watch this episode on Youtube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

How to Rewrite the Rules of Dating After 50

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Why do we need to rewrite the “rules” of dating after 50? Enter Suzanne Noble, co-host of Sex Advice for Seniors! — What are the rules of dating after 50, and why do we need to rewrite them? Enter Suzanne Noble, a UK-based writer, speaker, and podcast host focused on midlife reinvention and sexuality. She […]

dating after 50

Why do we need to rewrite the “rules” of dating after 50? Enter Suzanne Noble, co-host of Sex Advice for Seniors!

—

What are the rules of dating after 50, and why do we need to rewrite them? Enter Suzanne Noble, a UK-based writer, speaker, and podcast host focused on midlife reinvention and sexuality. She co-hosts Sex Advice for Seniors, a candid podcast challenging taboos around aging and intimacy. Suzanne is also the author of the erotic memoir The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker, exploring love, desire, and dating later in life.

In this episode:

  • The biggest myths about dating and sexuality after 50
  • How women can rebuild confidence when re-entering the dating world later in life
  • How online dating has changed the landscape for midlife relationships
  • What a “last first date” means when you’re dating with intention in your 50s, 60s, or beyond

EP 710: Suzanne Noble – Why We Need to Rewrite the Rules of Dating After 50

Highlights of this Episode

Dating and sexuality after 50

  • You can redesign relationships after 50 (living arrangements, non-monogamy, travel-based lifestyles).
  • Many reentering daters retain rigid “tick-box” criteria; recommend prioritizing only a few must-haves.
  • Know your values and shared vision early (short-term fun vs. long-term compatibility).
  • Confidence builds through practice, presentation (wardrobe/lingerie), and positive feedback from others.
  • Communication is the central skill for relationship and sexual health (asking for needs, setting boundaries, listening).
  • Shame and misinformation around sex in older age persist; open conversations reduce stigma.

Sexual health and safety

  • Regular STI testing, condom use, and explicit discussion of safety are essential — especially in non-monogamous or travel contexts.
  • People in alternative/lifestyle communities often follow stricter testing/condom norms.
  • Many older adults report clinicians not addressing sexual-health solutions (e.g., vaginal estrogen); self-advocacy with doctors is important.

Solo travel & meeting potential dates

  • Solo travel can be empowering; prioritize safety (use resources like Nomad List).
  • Use Facebook expat groups and Host a Sister to find local connections and reduce risk.
  • Dating apps (Bumble, Tinder, Feeld, FetLife) remain useful for meeting people while traveling.
  • Be open-minded; chance meetings while traveling can lead to lasting relationships.

Watch on YouTube

Connect with Suzanne Noble & Sex Advice for Seniors:

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

 The Path to Healing Your Inner Child

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How do you heal your inner child? And why is it so important when it comes to dating? Tune in to the podcast to learn the answers! — What is the path to healing your inner child? Jen Araya Peters is an expert in this field. She is a visionary healer, #1 best selling author […]

inner child

How do you heal your inner child? And why is it so important when it comes to dating? Tune in to the podcast to learn the answers!

—

What is the path to healing your inner child? Jen Araya Peters is an expert in this field. She is a visionary healer, #1 best selling author and the founder of a global 128,000 strong healing community. Jen is best known for her revolutionary work in the field of inner child healing, in particular dissolving emotional trauma, childhood trauma and hidden blocks deep within the subconscious mind. Jen’s mission is to make healing available to all.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • Why healing your inner child is so important when it comes to dating
  • How to know if unresolved inner child trauma may be sabotaging your success in dating 
  • Examples of how our childhood experiences can impact our romantic relationships
  • How unhealed attachment trauma influences our relationships
  • 3 things we can do to begin healing our inner child as it relates to dating or relationships

EP 643: Jen Peters – The Path to Healing Your Inner Child

Why is healing your inner child so important when it comes to dating?

The inner children have a tremendous impact on dating. Most of our behaviour is from our subconscious mind. Whatever is not resolved from childhood will show up in all parts of our lives, especially dating. The parent we had the most unresolved trauma with will draw us to partners with similar qualities.

 

How can we know if unresolved inner child trauma may be sabotaging their success in dating?

Everything is energy and holds a certain frequency. Wounds do, too. If we had a parent who left, it causes an abandonment wound. It can happen in everyday ways. The inner child has the fear of being abandoned again. They will either cling to relationships that are unhealthy, or they avoid intimacy and sabotage the relationship. We try to protect ourselves. 

How does unhealed attachment trauma influence our relationships?

It influences our relationships in tremendous ways. Anxious attachment trauma started in the womb or at a very young age. Because our survival was dependent on our caretaker at such a young age, we’ll find an avoidant, dismissive, or disorganized partner. It activates our earliest trauma. Each time our partner pulls away for any reason, we become activated again. It causes us to feel needy or clingy. When the other person pulls away, we can feel like we’re going to die. We also can sabotage the relationship by being so needy. 

What are 3 things we can do to begin healing our inner child as it relates to dating or relationships?

We need to connect more deeply to our inner child. Visualizations are very effective. See your inner child, hear them, and reflect feelings back to your inner child. Learn where the original trauma was, and give her a voice. Go back to an event that activated your inner child’s wound. Feel it in your body. See that part in your body. You’ll get a sense of how they want to be addressed. 

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Remind yourself that you are whole, worthy and enough in your own right. Dating and relationships are a beautiful part of life. But remember you’re the chooser instead of waiting to be chosen.

Connect with Jen

Watch this episode on youtube here

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

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