How do you get a second date when you’re interested in someone? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some excellent tips! — How do you get a second date? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some tips for you! He is a Presidential Professor of Psychology at Bucknell University. His research focuses on […]
How do you get a second date when you’re interested in someone? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some excellent tips!
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How do you get a second date? My podcast guest, T. Joel Wade, has some tips for you! He is a Presidential Professor of Psychology at Bucknell University. His research focuses on mate attraction, mate selection, mate expulsion, love, and relationships. He’s the author of numerous articles in social and evolutionary psychology journals, and his research has been covered in media outlets including the BBC, NPR, and CBC, and numerous national and international news magazines.
In this episode of Last First Date Radio:
Do the actions men and women use to get a second date differ, and if so why?
What are a few things people can say or do to get a second date?
How the actions men and women use to signal attraction to a potential mate differs
EP 648: T. Joel Wade – How to Get a Second Date
Do the actions men and women use to get a second date differ, and if so why?
Biology plays a role. Women tend to be more likely to give a second date to a man who seems to be interested in more than sex. Etiquette behaviors are important. He’s polite, shows interest, and doesn’t pressure her for sex. The connection is more emotional for women.
For men, they want a second date if they feel a sexual attraction and there’s a possibility that sex could occur. If she’s overtly sexual, that might not lead to long term relationships, and if he’s looking for more, she would get a second date if she flirts, smiles, touches him, etc. If she drinks alcohol, it tends to be a positive sign that she’s willing to consume alcohol. Synchronized behaviors and postures also play a role in attraction.
What are a few things people can say or do to get a second date?
Some things happen naturally, like eye contact, listening, being focused on the other person. Display altruism and willingness to help. On the second date, there’s more self-disclosure. Then you begin to see likes, dislikes, and personality.
Let’s talk about flirting. Do the actions men and women use to signal attraction to a potential mate differ, and if so why?
There are some similarities in unconscious behaviors like eye contact, focusing on the other person, etc. There is a difference between how men and women flirt based on their mate preferences. The actions that are most effective for men are seeing interest in emotional connection. Gift-giving shows kindness. Altruism – willingness to offer help. Men look for signs that a woman is interested emotionally and sexually. There is not a lot of difference in behaviors cross-culturally.
What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?
Be aware that dating is an information gathering exercise where you’re finding out if you’re compatible. Take your time, be open, don’t come on too strong, and trust your instincts.
If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application
My podcast guest, Cynthia Marks, discusses how to transform love, healing, and human connection. You don’t want to miss this! — If you want to transform love, healing and human connection, this episode is for you! Cynthia Marks is the host of And Now Love, a podcast inspired by the psychoanalytic teachings of her late […]
My podcast guest, Cynthia Marks, discusses how to transform love, healing, and human connection. You don’t want to miss this!
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If you want to transform love, healing and human connection, this episode is for you! Cynthia Marks is the host of And Now Love, a podcast inspired by the psychoanalytic teachings of her late husband, Dr. Bernard Bail. Through intimate conversations and dream exploration, she helps listeners uncover unconscious emotional imprints and transform their understanding of love, healing, and human connection.
In this episode of Last First Date Radio:
What inspired Cynthia to start her podcast, And Now Love, and what’s the core message behind it?
What role do early maternal relationships play in shaping our capacity to love or trust a partner in midlife?
Cynthia’s healing journey where one of her husband’s teachings shifted her view on love
What does a “healthy love” look like, and what practical steps can someone take to move toward that kind of love, even if they’ve never experienced it before?
What’s one emotional pattern or belief someone might not realize is sabotaging their efforts to connect and find love?
EP 670: Cynthia Marks – How to Transform Love, Healing, and Human Connection
Tell us about your podcast, And Now Love. What inspired you to start it, and what’s the core message behind it?
It’s based on the theories of my late husband, Dr. Bail who passed away four years ago. He had a psychoanalytic theory that helps us be our best selves, to love ourselves. We’re all holding onto so much trauma, it’s hard to understand our authentic selves. His theory posits that this begins in the womb. Our mothers aren’t trying to traumatize us, but they carry trauma passed on from their ancestors. We have to figure out how to stop the trauma. Bernard discovered that dreams carry the information we need to heal.
What role do early maternal relationships play in shaping our capacity to love or trust a partner in midlife?
As children, we want to make our mother (and father) happy, so we do things to please them. Often, that comes at the cost of losing parts of ourselves and developing false beliefs. What did you learn in childhood? You’re not loveable? Not true. We’re all based in love and carry love.
Can you share a moment from your own healing journey where one of Dr. Bail’s teachings shifted your view on love?
Through the course of talking about my dreams with my husband, he helped me come to my own conclusions about what the dream images meant to me. I reframed my view of my reality and my beliefs about love. Once I shifted my view of love, I was able to release the trauma I was carrying.
What does a “healthy love” look like to you, and what practical steps can someone take to move toward that kind of love, even if they’ve never experienced it before?
Healthy love is first understanding who we really are vs who we trained ourselves to be to survive. Each of us has a base of love, and most of us don’t get to that place. If we can undo this trauma and love ourselves, we can understand what it is to love others and receive love. You’ll elevate others. You’ll feel true empathy for others.
What’s one emotional pattern or belief someone might not realize is sabotaging their efforts to connect and find love?
If you think you don’t deserve kindness or love – unconsciously – you’ll push away a kind and loving person and continue to date people who are wrong for you.
What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?
Let go of what you think is judgment, and let go of your preconceived notions of what you’re entitled to (when it comes to love). Even if you think you have a lot of work to do, take a jump off the diving board and let go.
If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application
Why do we tend to repeat toxic patterns in relationships and dating? Joan Childs has some insights you’ll want to hear! — Why do we tend to repeat toxic patterns in our relationships? My podcast guest, Joan Childs, is sharing her wisdom in this episode. She’s a renowned psychotherapist, author, and relationship expert with over […]
Why do we tend to repeat toxic patterns in relationships and dating? Joan Childs has some insights you’ll want to hear!
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Why do we tend to repeat toxic patterns in our relationships? My podcast guest, Joan Childs, is sharing her wisdom in this episode. She’s a renowned psychotherapist, author, and relationship expert with over 47 years of clinical experience. As a pioneer in Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy, Joan has dedicated her career to healing fractured relationships and guiding people toward self-actualization. Her therapeutic journey has included individual, couples, group, and family therapy, earning her certifications in transformative modalities such as EMDR, Hypnosis, and Inner Child Work.
In this episode of Last First Date Radio:
Why we repeat toxic patterns in relationships
Common mistakes couples make and how to avoid them
What to do when there’s a loss of intimacy in a relationship
The biggest myths about love and relationships
EP 649: Joan Childs – Why We Repeat Toxic Patterns in Relationships
What inspired you to write Do You Hate the One You Love?
Over the years, I heard the same expressions from women that they hated how their partner behaved. I would ask why they were with someone they hated. They’d say they love him, but they hate the way he behaved. It’s common to have opposing feelings at the same time.
Why do we repeat toxic patterns in relationships?
Nobody should be subjected to abuse. A lot of women don’t feel they have options to leave. Ask yourself if this is something you want to do the rest of your life, especially if the other person isn’t willing to change. I try to help the person receiving the abuse. I ask why they stay.
We often repeat toxic patterns unconsciously due to childhood wounds.
“Who treated you like that as a child? When were you bullied? When do you fell ‘less than?” We discover the link between their past and the patterns that show up in dating and relationships.
The relationship lives in between the two of you, and if it becomes polluted and contaminated over time, not only are they the receivers of this toxicity, if there are children involved, they are the recipient of this toxicity until they break the pattern.
What are the most common mistakes people make in relationships, and how can they avoid them?
Don’t get between the sheets before two months. Know what you want in a relationship. Write those things down. How do you know you’ll get all that within a short amount of time? We tend to project onto a person before we know them. Be open. Share your concerns. Ask questions. Communicate openly to avoid the surprises when someone is not a good match.
What is one step someone can take today to break their toxic patterns in relationships?
Look at your past and recognize the behaviors they’ve brought into the here and now. I give a life history questionnaire to my patients to find out what their past was like. By the time they come in, I know where I need to go with them. Ask yourself if you want to change. It’s not easy, but it’s possible to change.
What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?
Identify what you can and can’t live with. What can you and can’t you live without? Look for those qualities. Understand that it takes time for those things to come out. Set boundaries and be honest with them if you like them. M. Scott Peck said, “Love is the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” That’s what you want in a relationship!
If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application
These 7 habits, based on the work of Stephen Covey, will help you become a better dater and find your best match. — Something unexpected happened recently—my son-in-law and I found ourselves deep in conversation about… dating. Not because he’s dating (he’s happily married to my daughter, thank you very much), but because he’s been […]
These 7 habits, based on the work of Stephen Covey, will help you become a better dater and find your best match.
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Something unexpected happened recently—my son-in-law and I found ourselves deep in conversation about… dating. Not because he’s dating (he’s happily married to my daughter, thank you very much), but because he’s been reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.
He’s seeing the world through new eyes, and watching someone get it for the first time is exhilarating. As we talked through Covey’s ideas, I realized something: every single one of these habits could be applied to dating.
So, with deep respect (and a little artistic license), here’s my take on what Stephen Covey might say—if he were a dating coach.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Daters
1. Be Proactive You can keep blaming your parents’ marriage, your city’s dating pool, or the apps. Or you can take full ownership of your love life. Proactive daters don’t wait for the stars to align—they make intentional choices that lead to real results. No matter your past, you can create the relationship you want. It starts with you.
2. Begin With the End in Mind Wishing for love is nice. But vision? Vision gets results. If you want a lasting partnership, what does that actually look like? Are you picturing companionship, shared values, someone to dance in the kitchen with you, a travel partner? Be specific. If you know where you’re going, it’s a lot easier to get there.
3. Put First Things First Let’s be honest—if love is a priority, your calendar should reflect it. Are you carving out time for dating? Signing up for social events? Updating your online dating profile with care? If you’re only checking your dating apps once a week, love is going to feel like an afterthought. Make space for it. Make it matter.
4. Think Win-Win Too often, dating feels like musical chairs. If she finds a good man, does that mean there’s one less for you? That’s a scarcity mindset, and it leads to jealousy, comparison, and fear. Have an abundance mindset. There are plenty of kind, available, emotionally intelligent people out there. When one person finds love, it’s proof that you can too.
5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood Listening is a superpower in dating. But not the kind where you’re simply waiting for your turn to talk. I’m talking about real listening—with curiosity, patience, empathy and reflection. Too often, we listen through the filter of our own past. But when you tune in with fresh ears, you get to know someone for who they are—not who you assume they might be.
6. Synergize Great relationships are not about sameness—they’re about complementing one another. When two people bring their full selves to the table, something magical happens. One plus one doesn’t equal two. It equals three. What does that mean? The synergy of what you each contribute can create something neither of you could have built alone. And yes, it can be as sexy as it is sacred.
7. Sharpen the Saw Dating isn’t just about finding the right person. It’s about being the right person. Keep growing—emotionally, mentally, spiritually, socially. Be curious. Be alive. The best relationships are between two people who are constantly evolving and supporting each other’s growth.
And… the Bonus Habit
8. From Effectiveness to Greatness Once you’ve found love—how do you nurture it? How do you keep the fire burning? This habit is about going beyond “it works” into “this is extraordinary.” Thriving together. Laughing together. Dreaming together. Don’t just maintain your relationship—elevate it.
Whether you’re new to dating or ready for your last first date, these habits are a powerful guide. I believe that when you date with intention, when you stay open and keep growing, you attract not just anyone, but the right one.
Let’s rewrite the story of dating—one aligned, empowered, highly effective habit at a time.
If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find your person, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application
Power dynamics and control can change in relationships over time. How can we navigate these changes? Tune in to this episode to find out. — How can couples navigate power dynamics and control in relationships? Bonnie Comfort has been a practicing psychologist for 30 years. She has an MSW from the University of Manitoba and […]
Power dynamics and control can change in relationships over time. How can we navigate these changes? Tune in to this episode to find out.
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How can couples navigate power dynamics and control in relationships? Bonnie Comfort has been a practicing psychologist for 30 years. She has an MSW from the University of Manitoba and a PhD in psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology Los Angeles. As an expert on marital therapy, she has been a guest multiple times on podcasts about marriage and has taken extensive workshops with marital and sex experts.
In this episode:
How to recognize the shift in power dynamics and control in your relationship
How people in non-traditional relationships can design a healthy relationship
How to approach sexual incompatibility in a relationship
What to do if you tend to prioritize your partner’s needs over your own to create a more balanced relationship
How can you overcome sexual insecurities
EP 663: Bonnie Comfort – How to Navigate Power Dynamics and Control in Relationships
Why did you decide to write this memoir and share such private and vulnerable information about your relationship with your late husband, especially as a therapist?
I struggled with the question of how my patients might feel reading it, but I wanted people to know that even psychologists continue to struggle in relationships. There’s a lot about my story that’s valuable in general.
Power dynamics and control can subtly shift in relationships. How can people recognize these changes, and what did you observe in your own marriage?
The shift may come inside of you, as in my marriage, I began to feel more equal to him after idealizing him for so long. I had been in his shadow. It took work for me to stand up and for him to respect who I became. There are so many fights that can come up in relationships, especially when it comes to parenting. Expect the ebb and flow of a relationship.
Sexual incompatibility can be a sensitive topic for couples. How can they approach these conversations constructively? What are signs that an issue can be resolved versus deeper incompatibilities?
It helps to have a sex therapist in the room with you in order to discuss sexual incompatibility. It’s fragile territory. The conversations require tactful honesty. Instead of saying what you don’t like, say what you’d like to try. The most important thing is kind curiosity. “I’m curious how you came to love sex in this way.”
Women are often conditioned to prioritize their partner’s needs over their own. How can they recognize and break free from these patterns to create more balanced relationships?
Be brave about disappointing your partner, and tolerate the disappointment. In a simple way, start tuning into your own needs and working through disappointing others. Own what you want. It’s an important price to pay.
Sexual confidence is a challenge for many women. What advice do you have for overcoming insecurities and embracing empowerment in intimacy?
I had felt defective sexually my whole life, partly because of mainstream media, and partly because of my first experience sexually. I began studying sex and sexual issues. I came across a book, Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. I was stunned to read that only 20 percent of women can orgasm through intercourse alone. It’s biological. I learned there was nothing wrong with me. I had faked orgasm with men I was dating, and I felt terrible about it.
Work on letting go of shame, because it keeps you quiet. It takes work to let go of body shame or the feeling that there’s something wrong with you. Use gentle curiosity and discuss what you like and what your partner likes. Experiment and see how it goes. Empathy is the magic bullet that helps a couple get through hard times.
What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?
It varies by age. What you’re looking for changes. Is this person compatible for the stage of life you’re in? Trust your gut and your inner knowing if there’s a definite no or a definite maybe. Learn whether the things that matter most are there. Create your own happiness, too. And know your deal breakers.
If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application
Ladies, if you think you understand men, think again. My podcast guest, Alison Armstrong shares what brings out the best and worst in men! — Alison Armstrong’s exploration of human behavior began in 1991 with a decision to find out what brings out the best and worst in men. This naturally led to studying women’s […]
Ladies, if you think you understand men, think again. My podcast guest, Alison Armstrong shares what brings out the best and worst in men!
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Alison Armstrong’s exploration of human behavior began in 1991 with a decision to find out what brings out the best and worst in men. This naturally led to studying women’s behavior and making vital connections between the two. Alison offers practical, partnership-based alternatives to what we’re instinctively compelled to do. She continues to give millions of people access to more fulfilling lives, loving relationships, stronger families and productive organizations.
Communication tools that help men and women connect more deeply
EP 637: Alison Armstrong – What Brings Out the Best and Worst in Men
This conversation was so good, I’m sharing the entire transcript instead of the highlights.
[00:03:19.620] – Sandy
We can talk about a lot of things, but I think that the work that you do, helping women and men understand each other is so crucial. It’s been crucial built in my own life, and it’s been really important to the people that I serve. So first, I want to just get the backstory about what motivated you to study this work and find out what brings out the best and worst in men in particular, which is where you started, right?
[00:03:49.070] – Alison
I have to ask, have you read or listened to the Queens Code?
[00:03:53.450] – Sandy
Yes. That was the first exposure I had to you.
[00:03:57.100] – Alison
That was the first exposure. Okay. So Just because it makes it easier, but for your audience, what happens to Kimberly in that first chapter happened to me. It was my colleague in a seminar, and the leader was talking about relationships, and she raised her hand and launched an attack on men. Why are they wonderful in the beginning? Then turn into these terrible people in the ways that she expressed it. His response to her was to say, Oh, I see. You’re a frog farmer. She tapped her foot and finally said, So what do you mean by that? He said, Some women turn frogs into princes. You, my dear, turn princes into frogs. My life flashed before me. It was February of 1991. I was 30 years old. I was divorced, almost. We were getting divorced. Had a one-and-a-half-year-old son. I thought men were horrible. I thought they didn’t care about what I needed or were actively withholding it, that they couldn’t be trusted, especially a romantic relationship. But the way that I saw my father at the time was very similar. When he said that to her. I was glad. I was glad to find out.
It rang as truth. I was glad to find out that there was something I was doing that was bringing out that worst in men because the alternative was that men were who I thought they were. I so needed them to not be who I thought they were. I wanted to be really married, like a union part got each other’s back, same team, married, not the funny situation I was in. We were barely roommates. I wanted I have a bigger family. That can easily set us on looking for the wonderful man, the exception to the rule, and to find out that maybe it wasn’t the way I thought it was at all. I was ecstatic. I’d been involved in transformation since I was 19 years old, and I knew I could transform myself. I’d been trying to change men, probably since I was 10 years old. With very little success. But I didn’t know where to go because I knew everybody I knew. I was just like my mom. I was just like my friends. I was just like my colleagues. I was just like all the women on television. Then this question popped into my head.
It’s so funny how they pop right here. It might as well be a bubble in a cartoon. The question was, what if men are responding to women? That was the beginning of me finding out if men are responding to women, what are they responding to? And making the correlation between our ways of being and their reaction and our specific behaviors, and their responses. And in the process, also seeing, and this was by observation and then verifying with men, did you do that because of this? Then in the process, also finding out ways that men are not responding to men at all. That it doesn’t matter how much they like you, love you, respect you, admire you, think they need you, want you, crazy about you. They have a saying, A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. They consider to do other than the right thing because of how they feel is dishonorable. No matter that they love you, they got to do the right thing, which one of the beautiful things about them is if they think they can’t give you what you need, it would be dishonorable to stay with you, be dishonorable to pursue you.
It’d be dishonorable to marry you, even though you’re begging or screaming at them to marry you. It would be dishonorable. No, I can’t give you what you need. That was the beginning. That was the beginning of 1991. I honestly, Sandy, thought it would take 2-3 months to learn everything worth knowing about men because I was sure I would have bet my life on that they were shallow, they had no feelings, so it didn’t matter what I did. I couldn’t hurt their feelings. I questioned whether they had souls. I knew absolutely that they were lesser human beings than women. Absolutely, the world would be a better place if people just did what women said.
[00:09:20.050] – Sandy
So that we’d all live on the planet where Wonder Woman comes from?
[00:09:24.630] – Alison
Well, and depending on which Wonder Woman movie you’re watching, that’s a scary planet, too. Yeah, we’re all blessed and cursed with being human because I just keep digging down and digging down. Now I’m at planetary instincts, male and female, to focused and open, to pack and herd, to wait. These behaviors, you find in the pine tree outside my window and to the bacteria that probably made me sick. All the way, Oh, yeah. This is not higher consciousness. This is survival at its most persistent and ugly. Without awareness of that, we’ll keep doing what we’re compelled to do instead of going, Wait, if I’m compelled to do this, it’s probably going to make it worse.
[00:10:34.680] – Sandy
Yeah. And then so many people are struggling, and they’re lonely, and they’re bitter. I grew up in a home where my father was bipolar. So he had a lot of mental health issues, and it made it very difficult to live with him. So I understand my mother’s frustration, but there was so much emasculation going on. And I didn’t realize the messages I had until much, much later, probably when I read the Queen’s Code. But I married a man who turned out to be very similar to my father, and the frustration, but then staying and staying and staying in a relationship that wasn’t working and thinking, Well, that’s all he’s capable of. There is no better match for me. I had a very narrow view view of what love was, what relationships could be, who men were. So I totally get it. I think that so many people see men, so many women see men as harmful as just so many things that they’re not, but they don’t realize their part in it. And I’m giving a workshop tonight on rejection. So one of the women in the group, I gave them an assignment to look at some past rejections and reflect on them.
She was saying what she learned from her last relationship was become friends with a man first, don’t jump into sex, and basically, protect your heart, so just do all these things, and then you won’t get hurt again. And so what would you say to somebody who learned learn lessons like that from a past relationship where they got involved with somebody and they got rejected?
[00:12:36.140] – Alison
I have so many thoughts. First of all, I’m not sure if technically we can be rejected unless someone says, I reject you. A man may have sorted himself out, which I think is why due diligence is so important. My process of due diligence is Listen very closely. Watch for flags. Watch for heebie-jeebies. Watch for niggling haunt. Then even if you love all the words, Now, watch the action because what’s real is going to show up an action that can’t be manufactured. Is it congruent? Are the words and the actions congruent? When they’re incongruent, get out the microscope. What? Wait a second. But allow for maybe, Maybe I didn’t hear you the way that you meant. How I interpreted when you said this was that you said that you would call me Saturday night, I interpreted it as you would call me Saturday night. So sometime in what qualifies as night, I would receive a call from you, and I didn’t. I need you to call me when you say you’re going to call me, or if you can’t call me when you say you’re going to call me, then at least you send a message saying, I’m sorry, I know I said I would call you, and I can’t.
Acknowledge you didn’t do what you said you were going to do. Can you give me that? But so often we just step over. Or we’re just off with the head. I practice three chances. The first is when I ask for what I need. The second was when I follow up and say, I really meant it. The third is, do you want one more chance? Because this is a deal breaker. The fourth is, you didn’t. We’re not going to try to do this. First, the clarity about your boundaries, what you will live with and not live with, what you won’t live without, however you want to say, deal breakers, boundaries, ultimatums, the clarity about that. Then the muscle, practicing, treat every interaction like a workout, no matter how cute he is. Do you speak your truth? No matter how rich he is, do you speak your truth? I call it early and often. Tell someone the truth before you care too much about what they think of it, whatever it is. If they go, Oh, I’m not your person, then say, Thank you. Thanks for telling the truth about that. Because if you’re not my person, then I’m not your person.
That’s the thing I think people miss. They think the one got away. Well, if there was such a thing as the one, how could they have gotten away? How could you… I blew it with the one. Well, if they were the one, how could you blow it? You might have done something and how you behaved, but then how they interact with you about it worked and you were better off for it. I Yeah. I was called terminally honest, and I know I’m annoyingly logical. The reason why I’m saying it, because I really am responding to what you asked, is guard your heart. Guard your heart as a strategy that you might as well have something on your chest. You might as well walk around with a deflector on your chest because everybody can tell, because there’s no love emanating, there’s no receptivity available, which is the fourth most attractive quality in a woman and when men cannot live without. And so what I found, and I had to rediscover this after my husband died five and a half years ago, was what if If A, my heart can’t be broken. What if it can be bruised, battered, squished?
But what if… I won’t say I’m heartbroken. I won’t. I’ll say I’m heart sick, maybe. But what if it can’t be broken? Then what if we know what our boundaries are and we’re loyal to what we need, and we know the moment the boundary needs to come up, and I just discovered this since I was made single, that the more I’ve demonstrated to myself that I’m loyal to my boundaries and that I can instantaneously set and defend them if necessary, now I’m truly receptive. I am not on guard. I’m not on guard because I know if necessary, there are spikes that will come out of the floor instantaneously. I must that. I developed that strength through natural horsemanship, and then singlehood after Greg died. It took a while to build the muscle. We squint. No, this is fine. This is fine. But the more we, eyes wide open, and what I was sharing with you earlier, seeing, Oh, I was squinting. Oh, I so wanted that to be what I wanted it to be, and I was squinting and overlooking and thinking, I’ll deal with that later. All right, that’s on me. Walking around the world open-hearted to every human being, that’s policy.
But it’s not idealistic. It’s trusting myself. I don’t have to trust in the goodness of everybody else. I trust myself. Even when I’m slow in the uptake sometimes because it’s quinting, I return to the trust in myself. There was something, so you said, Guard your heart. Oh, sex is not the problem. And how soon you have sex is not the problem. Number one question on our understanding sex and intimacy panel, the women would ask is when is too soon to have sex for the first time still end up with a commitment, which we think that they’re locked together, right? Yeah. And that is ancient. That is the virgin bride. Protect the virginity of your daughters or no one will marry them. And then you won’t get the dowry or whatever. This won’t work out. They’re going to save the whole family. So protect the virginity. It’s instinctual to withhold sex and be strategic about it. But it’s actually before and after that has us have sex at what could be too soon. One is the effects of sexual chemistry, what I would call too much chemistry, which makes both men and women stupid and reckless.
Procreate is the number one instinct. It trumps protect. We all risk our lives to have sex. We risk our lives, our lifestyles, our Our health, our emotions. It’s what’s driving the sex. My husband was not my type, and I didn’t actually become physically attracted to him until a few months into dating. But we’d had sex, and they’re like, How could you have sex? I’m like, It’s called affection? It’s called a great affection for him. It wasn’t driven by, I got to have you. People think I’m against chemistry. No, chemistry is wonderful. Just last year, I did looking for chemistry and connection because we can cause both. We can choose to have extraordinary chemistry. We can choose to have extraordinary connection. They’re not out of our power. It’s what got you in debate that usually is what causes the trouble. If it’s crazy chemistry that gets you in debate, you’re already cuckoo. You’re already not doing due diligence. You’re already not looking for the long term compatibility that you say you want. Then the effects, depending on how old we are, how much estrogen we have, affects how much oxytocin, any… Let’s see. The written word will cause a release of oxytocin in a woman’s phone.
This is why I tell them to get out of the messaging zone, A-S-A-P. You want to get on the phone, besides which a woman’s voice has the biggest impact on a man. So get on the phone. Then the second thing is it’s the bonding hormone. So especially if we’re still fertile, instinct will tell us to follow that man around until we find out for sure we’re not pregnant. Okay. And then our period starts and we’re like, Like, Eew, I don’t even like that guy. What happened to me? I’ve been in a fog. Yeah, an oxytocin, bonding fog, instinctual. Got together, two different tribes in the full moon, followed him home She was pregnant, got to their house and went, Oh, this is gross. So sex is not the bad guy, and how soon we have sex is not the bad guy. I do, however, think if you can’t talk about sex before you have it, don’t have it. You don’t trust them enough to talk about it. You don’t have enough of your senses and your clarity and understand what you need to talk about it. Talk about it. Frankly, with my sweetheart, love, supporter, now housemate, after three years of living in his backyard, I moved into his house.
We had sex within hours of meeting each other in person for the first time as we planned. It was not accidental. It was planned. But we’d had hours of getting to know each other and even resolving conflicts and doing the erotic blueprints and sharing the results and even questioning, wait, for you to get that result, you would have had to say yes to this category And there’s some things in that category I don’t do. So which ones are you looking for?
[00:24:04.210] – Sandy
I love that. Yes.
[00:24:07.920] – Alison
If you… Yeah, talk about it.
[00:24:11.190] – Sandy
Talk about it. Everything.
[00:24:13.650] – Alison
Well, especially if you know I knew so many men in my age group, right? So I was 58 when I was widowed, and they’re already men in my age group and older. My husband was 11 years older, so I was open to that age group. But so many of them have had an incident of ED, of erectile dysfunction. So many women don’t understand how that old business works as we get older and that they’re not going to be a teenage pop-up. Anything happens, boing, boing, boing. No, there’s no volunteer. I call it the Erection Partnership. I swore it for sex in the first conversation because too many men in my age group had signed off sex because they’d had an incident where they couldn’t perform and they were humiliated. They lost so badly. They were, I’m looking for affection. I’m looking for companionship. I’m looking for enjoyment. We’ll hold each other, but no. They don’t often reveal that before three months into it, and you wonder, why do we still have our clothes on all the time? Or why do we only do these certain things, but nothing else? They don’t reveal it. I pursued that conversation in a way that I was practicing just being safe.
I could be safe because I hadn’t hitched my wagon to this person yet. I hadn’t decided they were the one. I wasn’t protecting anything. If they couldn’t accept things like, My dead husband is still very much part of my life, and he probably picked you. I told Dan that in the first five minutes of our conversation and waited to see and thought in my head, if you’re going to run, run now. And there’s about a half hour, he didn’t run. He was quiet, and I thought he was going to run. And then he said, I can feel him. Nice. Yes, that’s what I thought. Oh, wow. He did still work because my husband is still providing for my family and my friends. He’s a very busy, disincorporated person. But if someone can’t be with that, it wasn’t going to go away. It wasn’t going to change me or change him. What’s unchangeable about you? Or what do you think someone’s going to break up with you over? What have People have broken up with you over? And you know you’re still that person. How about bring it up? And if they’re going to run, run now instead of after you’re in love and bought a house together and have three children, and now they break up with you for the reason that you’re afraid of in the first place that you’d concealed all those years.
So it was within a half an hour, we were talking about sex. Okay, so sex is something you’re looking for? Yeah. Nice.
[00:27:30.560] – Sandy
Nice.
[00:27:31.510] – Alison
Good. Great. We didn’t go more into that one at the time. It’s confirming we’re monogamous people. We have a monogamous lean. We’re committed to the monogamy thing. Okay, good. All right. But it’s just… Yeah, so that thing, the strategy, so much of our… I mean, we have to make conclusions so that we can make strategies, and then our minds search for what validates the strategy, and We can miss the truth. We can miss the truth of the person in front of us.
[00:28:05.090] – Sandy
Yes, for sure. That was a great answer too. I mean, people have faulty thinking, and they take their experiences and they interpret them in a way that keeps them safe, but it doesn’t bring them connection and love. And the funny thing is that when I started my career- I just fell in love with you all over again. Oh, Allison.
[00:28:32.100] – Alison
Yes. They interpret things in a way that makes them feel safe or that they can make themselves safe. But it doesn’t produce the result.
[00:28:42.260] – Sandy
No, it just puts a wall around you. And I got it.
[00:28:45.750] – Alison
Bravo, Sandy.
[00:28:48.000] – Sandy
Before I even understood all of this, I came up with an analogy that I used in my TEDx Talk, which was in 2013. I had just started my career, And this came to me that I had dated a guy who told me that he was like a Tootsie pop, that he was hard on the outside and soft and bushy on the inside. And I had this epiphany that I was that Tootsie Pup. And so it’s like the frog farmer. I was that really tough exterior person because I didn’t really know myself. I didn’t have the boundaries. I didn’t have communication skills. I didn’t have my core values I didn’t know any of that. And so the conclusion I had after every heartbreak was, get tougher. Be that Teflon shield that will make sure that I won’t get hurt. And that’s how I chose my husband. I chose a man who chose me, who loved me, who said he was going to keep me safe, and who was obsessed with me. I was not obsessed with him. I had a lot of questions, but I truly thought he would keep me safe, and that is not what happened.
So the whole analogy of the Tootsie pop was like, Oh, I need to be a different candy bar. So I came up with the heat bar, which is tough on the inside and soft and yielding on the outside.
[00:30:21.440] – Alison
That’s true. Sweet chocolate covering. Yeah. And then the carmely sweetness and then Yeah.
[00:30:35.830] – Sandy
Right. And so when I realized that I had to get really clear, like you said, then you can guard what’s important to you by speaking up early and not letting yourself have that squinty eye look at the person in front of you just because they’re really good-looking and hot and they chose you and maybe they’re younger. And for whatever reason, we end up in bed with these people who then are completely incompatible with us, not having these discussions, not calling people out on their behavior and saying, When you said you were going to call me. I mean, I see this. This is like what’s killing so many people’s lives is accepting crappy behavior, not speaking up, saying they’re confused by the behavior of this person, but never saying it’s not okay This is not working for me. Let’s talk about aging. We just have a few minutes left, but most of my audience is older. You talked about ED before. Are there any other changes that happen as people age that changes how men and women relate to each other?
[00:31:51.630] – Alison
Oh, my gosh. Just a small question.
[00:31:54.780] – Sandy
Just a small question.
[00:31:56.860] – Alison
Okay. Here’s a small answer. The way that estrogen and testosterone configures the brain. Testosterone creates compartmentalization, single focus, and limited number of connections between their verbal centers and everything else. Estrogen creates no compartments, creates diffused awareness, right? Pores in every direction. Perfect, perfect perception for a gatherer who has to wander out in a meadow and simultaneously be scanning for danger while finding anything useful, medicinal, edible, or that will be edible in the future, and how soon do I need to come back and get it before the bears? And and that basically every part of the brain is connected to the verbal centers of the brain. Imagine if we’re like that from day 21 of gestation, when the hormones kick in until we get into our… It’s going to vary, right? But into our 50s, It’s happening in the ’50s, definitely has happened in the ’60s, where the testosterone in men, it has naturally fallen off unless they’re doing bioidenticals, which is a whole other story. The verbal centers are getting set up. The compartmentalization, the walls are coming down. The verbal centers are getting connected to other parts. They can talk about their feelings, their emotions.
Their knowledge pours out of them, sometimes in a really annoying in a way in unsolicited advice that they seem to not be able to not give. Yes, and they start paying attention to connection, and they don’t want to have sex if we’re not in love, if their heart’s not in dear. This is not a performance. Then women, our estrogen has disappeared with the ovum as they dissolved and we have none left. The half of our testosterone that we depended upon from the ovum, that’s gone, too. Now we only have the testosterone from our adrenal glands and the estrogen, little bits of estrogen that our bodies can make or that we might ingest things that support it. I’m I’m not knowledgeable in that, but I know people are. The estrogen is stored in the fat deposits of our body, but in cultures where the idea is to be as skinny as you possibly can, you’re not going to be able to hang on to your estrogen, so your skin is going to get papery and fluids are going to dry up and you’ll be a skinny raisin. Eat fat, lots of good healthy fat, have some cheeks on you.
If someone doesn’t love your curves, that’s their problem because they’re your curves. If you want to know if your body type appeals to somebody, honestly, just take your body type and add the word porn on it and search on Google, and you will find out people pay to look at body curves. Every type of body. Every type of… Men cannot decide what their body type is. They don’t get to choose. It just is what it is. And if they’re made fun of it, they’re made fun of it. But somebody loves you just the way you are. I have a friend who, as her brand new husband, left for deployment, put his arms around her, grabbed a hold of her rear end and said, This could be bigger when I get back. Yeah,. Oh, yeah. So these things are swapping. So as we get older, now the brain configurations We’re swapping and we become more focused. Our children may think we’re ignoring them like my youngest did. I was 36 when she was born and she thought I was ignoring her. No, baby. It’s single focus. I have become I was just making dinner. We have to watch.
We have to watch because even when you get it wired, then we change. I guess just to keep us on our toes, Sandy, nobody gets to see it late. Sexuality changes. Often, I couldn’t wait to be 60 years old because I had so many students in their 60s, and my observation was, Oh, my gosh, they’re unstoppable. I want to be that. I so wanted to be that. I can’t wait to be that. It’s true. I got into a big kerfuffle with Dan about one of my deal breakers. As we got it sorted out, what’s the plan and what’s going to happen, and what’s he going to be accountable for, I said, I love you. He I said, I love you, too. I looked at him and I said, But you don’t like me right now. He wanted to say something different, but he goes, Truth is my second-highest value. So he said, No, I don’t. I checked. I scanned all the way down, all the way up. I was totally fine with that. As a younger woman with a lot of estrogen, that would cause a panic attack. He doesn’t like me. I’m going to die.
If the bear shows up and we have bears, he’s not going to protect me. I’m all right with that. Oh, my gosh. This is hot. And it’s what has older women be so attractive to men, the self-confidence, the directness. They say the courage to be authentic. It takes less and less courage to be authentic. Why would I be anything but authentic? That’s a waste of time. For women who get older and think this means you’re less beautiful, less attractive, less desirable, the thinking of that will make that true. But it’s not inherently true.
[00:38:45.800] – Sandy
I love that. I agree with you. And that is a wonderful way to end our conversation today. We could have gone on for 10 more hours. I just love talking to you. I think you’re so full of wisdom. And I think it’s so important for women and men to pay attention to the work you do because we get it wrong so often and we can get it right. We can have more love, more connection, and more positive relationships if we just learn to get out of our own way and learn the skills that it takes, really, because so much as the mindset and what we are faulty thinking has gotten in the way of healthy relationships. So thank you for the work you do.
[00:39:34.950] – Alison
You’re welcome. And thank you for seeing me. It means a lot.
If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application
Jane Garnett traded her so-called perfect life for an authentic one. Listen to her story in this episode of Last First Date Radio. — Jane Garnett is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with nearly 20 years in practice and the author of the memoir, This Time with Feeling (May 2026). Her work focuses on […]
Jane Garnett traded her so-called perfect life for an authentic one. Listen to her story in this episode of Last First Date Radio.
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Jane Garnett is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with nearly 20 years in practice and the author of the memoir, This Time with Feeling (May 2026). Her work focuses on helping people get unstuck, particularly during life transitions where things look “right” on the outside but don’t feel aligned internally.
In this episode:
That moment when you realize you need to let go of the “perfect life” to have an authentic life
Why so many people feel stuck, even when they’ve done everything “right”
How to tell the difference between a phase of discomfort and a life that truly needs to change
Our “inherited scripts” and how they shape the lives and relationships we end up in
EP 715: Jane Garnett – Trading the “Perfect” Life for a Real One
Highlights from this episode
Authenticity & embodiment
Authenticity = felt sense in the body; moments of “yum/peace/connection” indicate being in alignment.
Many people confuse curated appearances (social media, careers, roles) with authentic living.
Authenticity is an ongoing practice of uncovering childhood clues, dreams, and sensory pleasures.
Balance between external expectations and inner truth: aim for “most true” rather than a single right answer.
Mirror work, humor, and self-compassion help reunite with the body and reduce self-judgment.
Relationship choices: resonance vs. responsibility
Decisions about staying or leaving should weigh two metrics: resonance (feels true in the body) and responsibility (willingness to accept consequences).
Leaving isn’t inherently selfish; staying in misery models unhealthy behavior for children.
Growth is ongoing; attracting a new partner often follows personal blossoming but doesn’t guarantee a problem-free relationship.
Rewriting intergenerational narratives and addressing family atmospheres matter more than legal statuses (divorced vs. married).
Practical practices to reconnect and heal
Small daily practices matter: sensory awareness on walks, creative micro-practices (20 minutes of art/writing), and “morning pages.”
Embodiment techniques: body scans, mindful walking, dance, sensory play (touching leaves, smelling flowers).
Rest and regulation: Yoga Nidra recommended for deep restorative rest and resetting when burned out.
Therapeutic tools: attachment-focused EMDR for early-family patterns; mirror work for self-acceptance.
Use micro-experiments to test choices (imagine scenarios in the body to see “yes” vs “no”).
If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, apply for a complimentary 30-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application
Waiting for him to ask you out? How long should you wait? 5-step guide to knowing when to follow up—or move on. — You’ve had a great phone call, the conversation flowed easily, and you both agreed you’d like to meet in person. Now comes the tricky part—waiting for him to actually set up that […]
Waiting for him to ask you out? How long should you wait? 5-step guide to knowing when to follow up—or move on.
—
You’ve had a great phone call, the conversation flowed easily, and you both agreed you’d like to meet in person. Now comes the tricky part—waiting for him to actually set up that first date. How long should you wait before following up? And what do you do if you don’t hear from him?
Here are five smart tips to help you navigate this stage without overthinking or losing your cool.
How Long Should You Wait for Him to Ask You Out? (5 Helpful Tips)
1. Don’t Overthink It
The silence between “I’ll set something up” and the actual invite can feel endless, but try not to obsess. If he says he’ll set up a date this week, give him the benefit of the doubt. Rule him in until he rules himself out! Let a full week play out before jumping to conclusions. Remember: you’re looking for someone who communicates clearly, not someone who keeps you guessing.
2. At the End of the Week, Follow Up
If you haven’t heard from him by the end of the week, it’s perfectly reasonable to send a light, friendly message. Something like: “Hey, just checking in to see if you’ve had a chance to pick a time to meet this week.” This keeps things polite, low-pressure, and shows that you value your own time.
3. Pay Attention to His Response
If he responds and suggests a specific day or time—great! You’re moving in the right direction. But if he’s vague, non-committal, or doesn’t reply at all, that’s a red flag. His actions (or lack thereof) are telling you everything you need to know.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Move On
If he doesn’t follow through, don’t stick around hoping he’ll change. You deserve someone who’s as excited to meet you as you are to meet them. Politely exit and refocus your energy on people who are genuinely interested. Instead of asking yourself what you might have done wrong that turned him off, ask yourself, “Why would I want to date someone who doesn’t follow through and keeps me waiting for a response?”
5. Stay Authentic
No games. No manipulation. Be genuine about your intentions, and expect the same in return. If someone is truly interested, they’ll make an effort to plan the date. Real interest is obvious—it doesn’t leave you refreshing your inbox or wondering where you stand.
Bottom line: Give him the week, follow up if necessary, and move on if the effort isn’t there. The right person will be thrilled to set up that first date—and you won’t have to chase them down to make it happen. Keep moving forward until you find someone who doesn’t keep you guessing and makes you feel confident and secure.
If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find your person, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application
Dana McNeil and Jeffrey Young are redefining commitment for today’s modern relationships. Tune in to this episode to learn why this is crucial. — It’s time for redefining commitment in relationships, especially in midlife and beyond. Dr. Dana McNeil, PsyD, LMFT and Jeffrey Young are partners in life and work. They specialize in working with […]
Dana McNeil and Jeffrey Young are redefining commitment for today’s modern relationships. Tune in to this episode to learn why this is crucial.
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It’s time for redefining commitment in relationships, especially in midlife and beyond. Dr. Dana McNeil, PsyD, LMFT and Jeffrey Young are partners in life and work. They specialize in working with modern relationships, helping individuals and couples navigate connection, commitment, and emotional safety in today’s dating landscape.
Together, they bring a unique blend of clinical expertise and real-life perspective, drawing from their work with high-functioning couples, intensive relationship therapy, and years of experience helping people repair, rebuild, and redefine what partnership looks like in midlife.
In this episode:
Why it’s important to redefine commitment in today’s modern relationships
What tends to go off course in relationships when there aren’t clear definitions of commitment
Some early signs people often miss that a relationship is going off course
How to rebuild trust when people don’t follow through on commitments
How to find out early on in dating if you’re compatible
EP 716: Dr. Dana McNeil and Jeffrey Young – How to Redefine Commitment for Modern Relationships
Highlights of this episode:
Modern commitment
Commitment is no longer a one-and-done, fixed-role vow; it’s an ongoing negotiated partnership.
Partners must update expectations rather than assume traditional roles (e.g., fixed “male/female” tasks).
Commitment requires clarity about what each person is signing up for (priorities, trade-offs, life changes).
Regular check-ins are necessary to renegotiate commitments as circumstances evolve.
Communication, boundaries & negotiation
Distinguish compromise (mutual, voluntary negotiation) from sacrifice (one-sided, resentful).
Use explicit requests: name the need, explain the why, and treat agreed actions as voluntary “gifts.”
Treat agreements like a contract: offer, clarification, acceptance; mean yes/no when stated.
Curiosity and empathy (asking “why is this important?”) build understanding and reduce defensiveness.
Avoid Gottman’s Four Horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling—use repair attempts and bids for connection.
Responsibilities, appreciation & household roles
Define “yours, mine, ours” to avoid mental/emotional overload on one partner.
Frame contributions as complementary gifts; express appreciation to fuel continued participation.
Avoid delegating tasks from a place of indifference (“I don’t care, you do it”)—that breeds contempt.
Regularly revisit who handles what, and renegotiate when barriers arise (e.g., time, unexpected obligations).
Dating intentionally & dealing with differences
Vet beyond surface similarities: observe someone in multiple settings (groups, travel, home) and over time.
Ask specific, practical questions about weekly life, energy levels, priorities (career, family proximity, caregiving).
Look for self-reflection about past relationships—ability to take responsibility signals maturity.
Red flags: lack of respect, frequent contemptuous/offhand comments, zero accountability.
For partners on the ADD spectrum: use structured accomplishment/reward cycles, small achievable steps, frequent positive reinforcement; accept limitations while seeking mutually workable strategies.
If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, apply for a complimentary 30-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application
If you’re in a relationship and asking yourself, “Should I stay or should I go?”, this episode is for you! — The age old question: should I stay or should I go. Well, you’re in luck, because my podcast guest, Sharon Pope, wrote the book on this subject! She’s a certified Master Life Coach and […]
If you’re in a relationship and asking yourself, “Should I stay or should I go?”, this episode is for you!
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The age old question: should I stay or should I go. Well, you’re in luck, because my podcast guest, Sharon Pope, wrote the book on this subject! She’s a certified Master Life Coach and Relationship Expert helping people get the tools they need to improve, heal, or release their struggling marriages. She’s a seven-time international best-selling author on love and relationships, including Stay or Go: How to Find the Confidence & Clarity You Need to Either Fix the Struggles in Your Marriage or Move Forward without Regret, which has sold more than 300,000 copies. She is host of the podcast, “The Loving Truth,” and her work has appeared in numerous media outlets and online publications, including the “Modern Love” column of The New York Times.
In this episode of Last First Date Radio:
The Five Words Killing Our Marriages Today
How to Tell if Your Relationship Is Past Saving
How to argue well
Ways to Build Intimacy in Your Relationship
Why Divorce Should Always Be an Option
EP 635: Sharon Pope – Should I Stay or Should I Go?
What are the five words that are killing marriages today?
“’Til death do us part”. When you’re married, there can be a big change as to how you treat your partner. Most people don’t continue dating and prioritizing relationships like they did before marriage. If you rest on your laurels and think you don’t have to nourish your relationship once you’re married, your marriage will probably fall apart.
How can you tell if your marriage or relationship is worth saving?
We’re taught love is easy. When it gets hard, that’s when your relationship begins. What makes it worthwhile are qualities like self awareness and personal responsibility for actions and words. Do you both have a growth mindset? Do you trust each other? How do you communicate? How well do you argue? Those are the qualities you should be looking at in your relationship.
How can people learn to argue well?
Begin with listening well. We can all get better at it. Use feeling words, and be willing to hear the other person. Get curious about what the other person would like from you. Own your triggers. Don’t make others responsible for tiptoeing around your triggers.
How can you build more intimacy in your relationship?
To create more intimacy in your relationship, you need trust and vulnerability. Be yourself and feel safe to do that. There should be a weekly meeting where you’re talking about your relationship. What’s working, what’s not, and where can we reach for a little more in our relationships. Make it a ritual. That’s a bond that you do together.
To create more spiciness, we need to tap into the part of ourselves that is desire – unpredictability and spontaneity. We need security/predictability and spontaneity to have a sexier relationship. Pay attention to that part of your relationship.
When asking yourself, “should I stay or should I go?”, why should divorce always be an option?
The goal is to be happy, but not picture perfect. If the relationship really isn’t working, there’s always the option to leave. There are going to be attributes in every partnership that are not loveable. And that’s okay. When one of you is no longer to take responsibility, it’s over.
What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?
The most important thing anyone can do is equip yourself with relationship tools. You can’t be successful at anything in life without training.
If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application
Bottom line: Give him the week, follow up if necessary, and move on if the effort isn’t there. The right person will be thrilled to set up that first date—and you won’t have to chase them down to make it happen. Keep moving forward until you find someone who doesn’t keep you guessing and makes you feel confident and secure.
